“How did he look like?”

Tiffany crossed her arms, eyebrows furrowed. Across her, Sunny was looking at her with such curiosity in her eyes. Actually, Tiffany wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about that, including Sunny, but she couldn’t stand not to tell her manager, so in the end she slipped up and eventually, had to explain.

“Neat.” She concluded, after some thinking, “Gray sweater. Jeans… blue jeans? I don’t really remember. Brown hair… I think? Also tall. And pale. Yeah, pale. Paler than Jessica. I guess now I know where Jamie got her pale white skin from.”

“So he’s kind of good looking?”

“Well,” The singer shrugged, “I think so. He looks mixed, though. He’s clearly mixed.”

After the accidental meeting, Tiffany kept bugging Jessica’s female secretary about the whole story of how the man suddenly showed up. The secretary told her that he had been randomly showing up for about a week or two, trying to talk to Jamie, never to Jessica, only to Jamie, but never did because of course, Jessica didn’t let him.

When Tiffany asked how Jamie could actually recognize him as her father, the secretary said that this wasn’t his first time doing that. He did it once, about a year ago. But he wasn’t this brave until the point of appearing directly. Back then he started with sending anonymous gifts to Jamie, before he grew bolder and started sending her some love songs, about how he wanted to see her, about how Daddy wanted to be with his little girl.

Always to Jamie, never to Jessica.

And it actually made sense to Tiffany. That time when Jessica said, “someone wants to take my daughter away”, it was him. She didn’t ask further about that, though. Even though she was curious, because she remembered Jessica saying that he only wanted her money, meanwhile the secretary didn’t mention anything else he demanded other than Jamie herself.

Tiffany didn’t need to ask how Jessica reacted toward his questionable actions back then. And little Jamie wasn’t so clueless either. She knew, from Jessica’s not-so-subtle disapproval, that her father wasn’t a good person, and that reason was enough for her to just stick with her mother. That was why she was scared.

Mommy doesn’t like him, so I also have to stay away from him.

One thing that intrigued Tiffany was, the love songs part. He sent her love songs? Like, literally love songs?

The secretary said yes. He was a musician.

Definitely not a huge singer like Tiffany, but he liked music. The secretary didn’t tell her more about it but Tiffany remembered that one time when Jessica described him as, “free spirited”. Maybe it had something to do with him liking music.

His name, though. Tiffany felt so stupid for not asking what his name was.

“Does Jessica know about all this?”

“Yeah. She just hasn’t told me.” Tiffany sighed, putting both hands on the table, “Her secretary said that it caused a lot of stress for her. And I, as usual, can just sit here and wonder what I should’ve done. I mean, I should do something about it, you know? I’m her girlfriend, I shouldn’t be this still.”

“You said she hasn’t told you. So, technically, you can’t do anything yet.”

“I know, but still…” She sighed again, turning her head to look at the window.

Tiffany didn’t know if Jessica knew that she knew. Probably she didn’t, though. Since the female secretary looked too scared when Tiffany asked her if she’d tell Jessica. And Tiffany knew perfectly well why you wouldn’t want to make Jessica angry.

“But Fany,” Sunny started again and Tiffany looked back at her, “how do you feel about all this? I mean… are you like… jealous?”

The singer hesitated, “I’m…”

She sat straight and recalled back to some days ago, her unexpected encounter with Jessica’s ex. Did she feel jealous? Was she envious?

“I don’t know.” She said, looking to her own intertwined hands, “I guess I’m just… confused? Worried?”

“Just that?”

“There’s nothing to be jealous of. They don’t love each other anymore. Jessica hates him to death and he… he only wants her money. I don’t need to feel jealous.”

“Are you sure?”

A frown was formed, “What do you mean?”

“I mean no harm, really.” Sunny leaned forward, “But you know, isn’t it just… unpleasant if someone from your girlfriend’s past suddenly shows up? If I were you, I’d be jealous. It’s silly, I know. But it’s normal. You don’t like it when Jessica’s ex interferes her life again when she already has you, do you?”

Tiffany kept mum.

“You should go talk to her.”

“In between these hectic recording schedules? Sure, I can.”

Sunny pursed her lips, “Well, you can call her or something.”

“She’s not the type to talk freely on the phone. I think she kind of hates it now.”

Sighing, Tiffany stood up and walked to where she placed her handbag, in that piano room. She couldn’t go home that night. Recording was taking a lot of time and she preferred finishing it fast instead of doing it slowly. Hovering above the small table, Tiffany took out the phone. She had texted Jessica a good night almost two hours ago.

There was still no reply.

-

“Do you want to change it? These are some suggestions from…”

“I don’t think it came out decently. I’ll do it again.”

“That was quite okay, though. Actually it’s better if you do this part instead.”

Tiffany massaged her neck after she took off the headphone, grabbed the papers, and exited the recording booth. She was tired, but still stubborn, nonetheless. She kept re-recording the song over and over until she started slightly slurring and the producer told her to stop. He was still as kind as ever.

Throwing the empty water bottle to the nearest trash can, Tiffany sat down, rubbing her eyes. She kind of felt sleepy. She was sleep-deprived, but it was nothing new. She actually was glad that she was busy. The more tired she was, the easier for her to doze off.

They continued their discussion for about 30 minutes. That was one of Tiffany’s self-composed songs. The producer really took her ideas seriously and combined those with his own. He even joked that someday, Tiffany might reject his compositions because hers sounded way better.

In the middle of their talk, Tiffany felt her phone on her lap buzzed. It made no sound so Tiffany sneaked to look down to see who it was.

Jessica.

Tiffany stilled. Jessica was calling her. But she was completely aware of where she was. These people around her definitely didn’t know about Jessica, and Tiffany didn’t want them to, either, so she suddenly felt paranoid. She definitely wouldn’t pick it up. Hurriedly, she flipped over the phone so the screen was facing down.

When the buzzing stopped, she unconsciously let out a relieved sigh.

“Maybe we should add more of these sounds during the chorus.”

“It sounds better with a lower note, though…”

Biting her lip, Tiffany eyed her phone again. Why did Jessica call her? Was it something important? They hadn’t talked since… Tiffany couldn’t even remember. She was too caught up in recording. Was she being annoying to Jessica now? She just ignored her call. But at least she still replied to her texts so she wasn’t as bad as Jessica back then. Maybe she should text her saying that she was busy--

“Do you agree, Tiffany?”

Hearing her name, Tiffany jerked her head, “Yes?”

The producer smiled, “That we should take a break?”

“Oh. Oh, yes. Sure, sure. Yes, I agree. Yes.”

Tiffany helped the others gathered the scattered papers before bowing here and there and made her way out of the recording studio. She walked as quickly as she could to the piano room, a floor below. Jessica’s call made her anxious, somehow. It was her first time not picking up her call. Well, Jessica rarely called her at the first place, so Tiffany had always managed to pick up.

She was half-running to the piano room, and when she harshly opened the door, she found out that there was someone inside.

Jessica turned her head at her, the song she was playing halted. Tiffany stood by the door, stunned, seeing Jessica sitting in front of the piano, playing it just now. Her long sleeves were rolled up to her elbows, hair tied in a messy ponytail, her fingers curled on her lap. And there was her blazer, being placed, or maybe thrown, on the floor.

Wait, Jessica was there? In her company’s building?

“You’re here?” Tiffany realized, and she quickly closed the door, “What if-- people saw you, right? How did you get in here? Why--”

“I wanted to see you.” Jessica said.

“But--”

“Don’t worry. Nobody recognized me. I had a help.” She shrugged, “Why didn’t you pick up my call?”

Tiffany exhaled a heavy breath, the presence of Jessica did things to her, “I was busy with recording. But we’re having a break now.”

Jessica nodded her head, “So I’m disturbing you.”

The singer smiled hearing that. Jessica indeed wasn’t subtle. She hadn’t smiled at Tiffany, despite saying she wanted to see her. Her curled fingers were clawing on her palms. Her feet were tapping the floor noisily. Tiffany noticed it all.

“I’ve disturbed you a lot.” Tiffany said, sitting beside Jessica, “Isn’t it good to be fair?”

Jessica just stared at her, not saying anything.

“So,” Tiffany eyed the piano, “did you play?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“I didn’t know you can play. Do it again?”

Jessica looked at her for a second or two, before she nodded and brought both hands on the piano again. She started playing. Tiffany smiled instantly. She knew the song. It was My Funny Valentine.

As she played, Tiffany took her time to observe Jessica. She had the very obvious eye bags. Tiffany wasn’t sure if that was only her or not, but Jessica got skinnier. Her eyes looked so tired. So it wasn’t just her who was sleep-deprived, it seemed. She also noticed that Jessica grew out her bangs. It sprawled messily on her forehead. Tiffany thought she loved Jessica’s messy appearance. She would find Jessica waking up in the morning so attractive. But she was wrong.

This kind of messy Jessica wasn’t something Tiffany would find attractive. Well, she was attractive but Tiffany wouldn’t call someone who was stressed as attractive. Seeing her like this, instead, made Tiffany lose her smile.

Miss Jung is very concerned about all this. I’m not sure if telling her is even an option…

The female secretary was right. Jessica was more than just concerned. Tiffany didn’t really know how she felt at the moment. Jessica wasn’t the best in talking. So Tiffany understood why she hadn’t told her anything. Even though she wished Jessica would.

After the song ended, Tiffany reached Jessica’s cheek and pulled her for a kiss. Jessica was unresponsive at first, but she soon kissed back slowly. Tiffany felt her heart sink at the realization of how rare they kiss. She missed her so much. And she knew Jessica felt the same when she held Tiffany’s waist and pulled her even closer.

Soon their slow kiss grew bolder. Their tongues met and Tiffany sighed contently at the contact. The worried thought about where they were, the possibility of someone coming in, were far behind Tiffany’s mind. She couldn’t think when Jessica kissed her like this. She wasn’t rough, but it wasn’t so gentle either.

And when Jessica’s hands reached under her shirt, Tiffany gasped, breaking the kiss.

“O-oh, I’m sorry.” Jessica quickly pulled her hands away, “Sorry, I just--”

“What are you sorry for?” Tiffany asked, breathless, arms still wrapped around Jessica’s neck, “I was just… surprised.”

“Do you want to-- I mean, we can…”

Tiffany nodded, “But not here. Do you have somewhere we can go?”

Jessica paused for a second, and Tiffany took the chance to plant small-but-wet kisses to her jaw, down to her neck.

“Yeah, yeah, I have.” Jessica nodded, looking light-headed, “Let’s-- I mean--”

“Okay.” Tiffany nodded again, “Okay.”

-

Less than an hour later, Tiffany found herself being pinned to the wall. They were in Jessica’s apartment, Tiffany didn’t even know that Jessica owned one, attached to one another, lips couldn’t seem to separate. Jessica grasped her own hair, losing the ponytail, and Tiffany’s hands instantly went to her glorious locks. They were in a rush, since they didn’t have the whole night for them.

Despite all that, Jessica was still gentle. She left Tiffany’s lips to nibble on her earlobe, while her hand busy ing the shirt. Tiffany was struggling to get rid of Jessica’s shirt, though. Her kisses were such a distraction.

Jessica was desperate. It was another first for Tiffany, embracing her impatient lover as she lied on her back on the bed. Jessica didn’t let her breathe with all of her kisses. Her wandering hands did wonders to Tiffany. When her lips didn’t kiss hers, Jessica would murmur her name, in between her sighs and hisses.

Tiffany held her close through the time. Their warm, bare bodies flushed together. Her nails dug into Jessica’s back as she started to feel the pleasure. Jessica stared at her then, amazed at how beautiful Tiffany looked. But the latter couldn’t keep the eye contact for too long because it got too overwhelming for her.

Jessica’s lips reached hers again, and they sloppily kissed. It was all a hot mess that Tiffany didn’t recall ever having it with Jessica. She then felt Jessica started to tremble, as she groaned right to Tiffany’s mouth. Both were unable to hold their flaming desires. Both of them needed each other.

Instead of the other way around, it was Tiffany who hugged Jessica tightly after she reached the peak. Jessica was trembling above her. Her eyes were teary, chest heaving, her breath hitched. Tiffany knew why. Still slightly shaking, she slowly caressed Jessica’s head, trying to calm her, whispering that it was okay for her to cry.

And for the first time that night, Jessica let Tiffany witness her hidden, fragile self.

-

2:33 AM. Tiffany put Jessica’s phone down on the night stand after the looked at the time.

“Do you have to go?”

Jessica’s voice was hoarse when she asked her. Tiffany turned around to face her again. She smiled seeing how Jessica hid herself under the blanket, with only showing her puffy eyes to Tiffany. She had stopped crying. And became so awkward because Jessica admitted, she almost never cried in front of someone else, even Krystal.

Actually, Tiffany kind of felt guilty because she wasn’t just supposed to go back, but she shouldn’t have gone anywhere since the first place. She texted Sunny though, asking her to explain her leave, to make up some nonsense excuses, before she turned off her phone and didn’t dare to turn it on again.

But she didn’t tell Jessica, of course.

“No.” She shook her head, scooting closer to the latter, “I still have time until morning.”

Jessica nodded her head, still hiding her face, her fingers held the blanket tightly. Tiffany then laced their fingers together.

“Are you feeling better now?”

“I… guess so.”

“Mm-hmm.” Tiffany could feel that Jessica really was feeling better, “Want to talk?”

The hesitation was clear in Jessica’s eyes. Tiffany held her hand even tighter, assuring her that it was okay to talk. Jessica blinked a few times, still sometimes sniffing, but couldn’t bring herself to start the talk.

“Jessica,” Tiffany started again, “he came back, didn’t he?”

There was a silence for a moment before Jessica mumbled, “You met him.”

A nod, “Yeah, I did.”

Jessica’s eyes looked down again.

“I don’t know,” She said, her voice muffled beneath the blanket, “I don’t know what he wants. Why he keeps coming back. Why he can’t just… leave us alone. If he wants something more then he should just come to me. But he never did. Using Jamie as a way to ruin me again…”

“You never talk to him?”

Jessica shook her head, “He’s a coward.”

“Is he that type of person?”

“Hasn’t changed, maybe never will.” A sigh, “I just… I know it’s… nearly impossible but I’m just… scared. Paranoid. If he’ll really… take Jamie from me…”

Tiffany had never seen Jessica’s scared eyes before. They really couldn’t lie. Seeing them this close, it was obvious what Jessica felt, right through her eyes. Tiffany understood Jessica’s feeling. If she were in Jessica’s shoes, she’d probably be worse.

“Jessica,” She pulled her closer, “Jamie loves you, okay? She won’t leave you for a nonexistent father figure like him. You’re her mother. You’ve always been there for her ever since she was born. It’s you who raises her, who takes care of her, not him. Jamie will always be with you.”

Jessica sniffed, lacing their fingers just as tightly, “And you? What about you? Will you… stay with me?”

Tiffany’s lips parted slightly. Just… how much had he hurt Jessica until the point of her doubting everything? Thinking about it made her curiosity boil, but she wouldn’t push Jessica to tell her. Even if in the end she never did, Tiffany didn’t mind.

“I will.” Tiffany said, kissing Jessica’s forehead, “I’ll stay with you. We’ll stay together. I love you.”

Jessica nodded as she buried her face to the crook of Tiffany’s neck, sighing softly. Tiffany hugged her, for once being the one who caressed Jessica’s head. She gave the crown of Jessica’s head a kiss as she heard her low whisper.

“I love you too.”

-

5:07 AM. Tiffany sighed.

She finished buttoning her shirt, now fully clothed. She then sat down and tied her shoelaces. The morning almost came. She needed to go back quickly. Most probably she would get scolded. How selfish of her leaving just like that, when the recording hadn’t finished. That wouldn’t be the first time, though. So she didn’t feel scared at all. Maybe guilty, just a little bit of it.

Standing up, she rubbed her eyes. Not going to lie, she was dead tired. She didn’t get a wink of sleep at all that night. Her energy had been worn out thanks to the… activity she did with Jessica. She spent the rest of the night patting Jessica to sleep, and fighting her own urge to also fall asleep. She couldn’t. Or else she wouldn’t wake up before morning.

After making sure she looked decent in front of the mirror, Tiffany eyed Jessica, who was sleeping on the bed. She hugged the bolster tightly, which Tiffany carefully positioned to replace her. She sat down on the bed slowly, eyes still on her sleeping lover.

There was one thing I honestly find fascinating, Miss Hwang. Even though Miss Jung really doesn’t fond of his presence, but she never orders us to use violence against him. She even told us to avoid it. We’re harsh against him, but we never reach physical violence. And as for him, like what you saw, he also never uses violence in approaching us, or Jamie. I don’t know, but isn’t it interesting that both of them avoid violence to each other?

Tiffany nodded, replaying the secretary’s words in her head. Yeah, interesting indeed.

Another not going to lie, Tiffany wanted to know more about this ex and Jessica. But she didn’t know if it was a good idea. Sunny was right. She couldn’t be sure of what they felt to each other. Well, Tiffany had some ex girlfriends she really liked, even loved, too, back then. But the relationships never lasted for too long to remember.

After this, Tiffany realized they’d be back in their own world. Tiffany had become way busier now, and Jessica had always been busy, so they wouldn’t see each other in anytime soon. Seeing how peaceful Jessica slept, tired of crying, Tiffany wanted nothing to just join her and stayed there until she woke up. It was her first time crying in front of Tiffany. She should’ve stayed instead of left.

Tiffany checked the time again in Jessica’s phone on the night stand. Jessica had set her phone on airplane mode so no one could contact her.

5:21 AM. She really had to go.

Letting out a tired yawn, Tiffany put the phone back. She then bent down to kiss Jessica’s cheek, whispered an I-love-you, before standing up. She gathered her belongings, glancing one last time to Jessica, and finally made her leave with Jessica’s butler.

In the car, Tiffany looked at the window. Her heart felt heavier than before.

****