There were two things Tiffany avoided the most nowadays, which were Lim Yoona and Jessica Jung.

Lim Yoona was a stupid mistake and Jessica Jung was the payback for it. As much as she wanted to cheer herself up, saying that it wasn’t a huge deal in Jessica knowing her relationship, well it wasn’t even one to begin with actually, with the actress, she found herself fail to do so. Because she got to accept that it was a shameful mistake and Tiffany would always feel frustrated every time it came into her mind. Where should she put her face if she met Jessica the next time?

Jessica might understand a bit of Tiffany’s situation but still, she wasn’t an entertainer. She didn’t work in the same industry as Tiffany and Lim Yoona. She must’ve felt shocked, even though just a teeny weeny bit. And above all, Jessica was now included in the very few people who knew that Tiffany was actually, gay.

Great.

When she told Sunny about it, she had already expected a long scolding from her manager, but instead, she didn’t get any.

“How did she look when she told you that?”

Tiffany looked up to the ceiling when Sunny asked her that. They were back in Seoul when the singer finally revealed the thing that had been bothering her to Sunny. It took her quite long because she was afraid of Sunny’s reaction. Luckily, it turned out different from what she had predicted.

“She looked…” Tiffany recalled the memory, “okay. I mean, she kind of hesitated but… she didn’t look overly shocked or… disgusted.”

Sunny nodded her head, “Did she sound jealous?”

“Jealous?!” Tiffany raised her voice, she didn’t know why, “For what?”

“You and Lim Yoona, of course. Did she?”

“How can you think like that?”

“I don’t know, I’m just curious.” Sunny shrugged, “So, did she or did she not, Fany?”

“She didn’t, okay?” The singer sighed, “There’s nothing going on between me and her. Why should she be jealous?”

Sulking, Tiffany crossed her arms. Jessica indeed didn’t sound jealous. Or… did she? Tiffany narrowed her eyes as she tried to remember more precisely at how Jessica talked to her. She looked so sincere then. So very understanding, it actually jabbed Tiffany hard. And not to mention the way she, Tiffany got to say, randomly caressed the singer’s cheek in the end…

“Do you want her to?”

Sunny’s question snapped her back to reality. She turned her head to her manager beside her on the couch.

“Huh?”

“Do you want her to be jealous?”

Tiffany sulked even more, “Kyu, please. That’s not what I meant!”

“Then, what? You’re upset because you don’t get a chance to explain what relationship you actually have with Lim Yoona?”

“Yes!”

“Why is that? Why do you need to explain?”

“Because…”

Tiffany tried to find a reason, but damn, she couldn’t find any.

“It’s not like she cares anyway.”

Sunny shrugged again and grasped the phone from Tiffany’s hand, mindlessly playing with it, ignoring the dumbfounded singer.

“She’s an adult, Fany. I’m sure she can understand, even though sometimes it might sound ridiculous and so out of her world, but she’s an adult, not a seventeen-years-old teenage girl who gasps at everything. Why do you worry so much? Because she knows that you like girls? Come on, she’s too busy with her job, she won’t even bring it up anymore.”

Tiffany sighed again, “But still--”

“Which is why, you should really, like really, end everything with Lim Yoona.” Sunny cut her, “So that when you’re going for the mighty older Jung, you’ll have no one bothering you.”

“Seriously.” The singer rolled her eyes, “You want me to go after her that much?”

“Why not?”

“She doesn’t like girls, Kyu.”

“How do you know?”

“Well… she has a daughter?” Tiffany made a face, “Come on, you can’t be serious about me and her.”

Her manager chuckled before she turned serious again, “Okay, whatever you say. But please, listen to me this time. You can’t let this... unclear relationship you have with Lim Yoona to go on until forever. You keep saying you want to ignore her, but you never actually do. Let her go, Fany. Okay?”

Confidently, Tiffany nodded.

It wouldn’t be easy, but bearing with a definite embarrassment every time she reminded of Jessica Jung was way harder.

-

In the end of her album promotion, there was this unexpected event Tiffany got.

As expected, the movie Midnight’s Dream starring the great Lee Seunggi and Lim Yoona got an explosive reaction from the public. Tiffany had watched it too and she bawled like a baby in the theatre together with Sunny. The song she sang for the movie also got a great response and stayed at the top of digital charts for quite long.

And of all sudden, Tiffany got an invitation for another private party with the casts and crews of the movie, just like the last time. It wasn’t a problem, not until she flew to Jeju and realized that the party was going to be held in a newly opened resort,

Which belonged to the Jungs.

“Wow.” Sunny muttered as she got into the luxurious room together with Tiffany, “Do you really believe this belongs to the Jungs?”

Tiffany sighed deeply and slumped herself onto the nearest couch, silently relieved at how comfortable it was. She actually hesitated a lot whether to go or not to go to the party, but Sunny convinced her, saying because it was in Jeju, so she could rest and refresh a bit after her hectic promotion schedules. She never thought she would end up in something Jung-related again. The world was too small and she started to hate it.

“I know they’ll have a resort but I didn’t know it’d be this…” Tiffany left her sentence hanging.

“You know?”

“Yeah. They kind of… told me that some time ago. Krystal was busy flying back and forth between Seoul and Jeju too for this. They finished fast. And… great.”

Her manager only nodded while mumbled another ‘wow’. Tiffany looked around and suddenly she felt sleepy. She didn’t get much sleep during the flight earlier. The resort was also very comfortable for her liking.

“How long has it been since you last met the Jungs, though?” Sunny then asked, still observing the whole place here and there.

Tiffany sat straight, pursed her lips, “I met Krystal some time ago in the photoshoot. Yeah, before you ask, she still looked cool and all. I realized she really fit being a businesswoman right now compared to back then in our earlier meetings. That aura, you know.”

“Hmm…” Sunny nodded her head, “her sister, then. When was the last time you met her?”

The singer paused. The last time was in Jessica’s office, of course. When she told Tiffany that she knew about her and--

“Don’t talk about her.” She sighed, slumped her back again onto the soft mattress.

Sunny smirked, “Still sulking, I see.”

They spent the rest of the day staying inside the room doing nothing. Hours later, Tiffany got a text from Krystal asking if the singer really went to the Jungs’ resort and Tiffany replied, saying yes. Just as Tiffany thought texting with Krystal would cheer her up a little, the next reply she got from the younger Jung faltered her smile instantly.

Cool! My sister hasn’t gone home since the opening ceremony. Say hi to her!

Great.

-

Tiffany stared at the woman some steps ahead of her. And she strangely but luckily, didn’t feel any urge to approach that gorgeous being.

Really, she shouldn’t have gone to this party. She found herself being awkward with the invited people. The scale was larger, the people were too many, and Tiffany couldn’t recognize anyone except Lim Yoona and her co-stars. Bowing here and there had made her tired. Or maybe she was indeed tired since the beginning.

Thinking of how attached she was to the actress, and no vice versa, somehow angered Tiffany a bit. She became upset at how she acted toward Lim Yoona. She felt like a clueless teenager who was being played like a toy. She didn’t know why, those thoughts started attacking her and made her confident enough to avoid Lim Yoona, permanently.

Her fingers grasped the glass of wine tightly as she saw Lim Yoona smiled, laughed, smirked, flirted. Those things should’ve belonged to her only. Well, if only the actress was a loyal lover. Too bad she wasn’t. And too bad Tiffany had completely fallen onto the trap.

When she was about to stand up from her seat, her eyes accidentally met the actress’. For the first time since the party started.

Seeing her, Lim Yoona gave her the usual smirk that usually, could make Tiffany weak on her knees and turned her face into a complete blank. But it didn’t work that time. Tiffany didn’t return the smirk and quickly excused herself after taking a greedy shot of the wine.

Lim Yoona noticed it.

Tiffany could hear some rushed steps as she walked inside the resort’s empty corridor. The party was held in an outdoor garden and it was too crowded. The singer narrowed her eyes as she felt her head spinning slightly. Too much wine, she thought. She should just get back to her room, book a flight back to Seoul, and everything would be fine.

But those plans vanished as she felt a tug on her wrist and a voice calling her name.

“Tiffany.”

Oh, Lim Yoona followed her. That was new.

With a heavy heart, Tiffany turned around and was met with the actress’ curious face. Seeing Lim Yoona this close wasn’t easy. Tiffany had to control her urge not to grab and kiss her, or not to snap and slap her, or maybe both.

“Is there something wrong?”

Everything. Everything about you is wrong.

“I…” Tiffany started to talk, she almost lost her words when Lim Yoona pulled her closer by her wrist, “Unnie, I--”

“Sorry I haven’t talked to you. I was busy with those guests, you know. Are you upset?”

“It’s not that.”

“So, what?”

There was a pause for a moment before Tiffany heavily started, “I’m tired, Unnie.”

“Oh, you are? Is the jet lag still bothering you?” Lim Yoona ran a hand through the younger’s hair, “You haven’t got enough sleep? Or--”

“No, not that.” Tiffany shook her head and a muffled, desperate sigh escaped her lips as she repeated, “I’m tired, Unnie.”

She watched as the small smile on the actress’ beautiful face faded slowly after hearing her words. The hand that was caressing the side of her head gently, was brought down also in a painfully slow pace. Lim Yoona didn’t say anything. Her expression also said nothing.

“I feel like… I can’t do this any longer.”

“What do you mean?”

You know what I mean.

“Unnie,” The singer looked up, and the tug on her heart dangerously disturbed her but she kept going, “I like you. I really like you. But you don’t feel the same.”

Lim Yoona frowned.

“I can’t stand that. I don’t want you to keep come and go as you please. I…” Tiffany sighed deeply, her frustrations suddenly boiled and she had to stop the urge to snap, “whatever I feel, you don’t feel the same, you never did. You don’t even--”

“You don’t think of me, do you?”

The expression Lim Yoona had wasn’t what Tiffany had expected. Tiffany stared in complete confusion as the actress also sighed, her hands on her hips, and her teeth gritted. Was this how Lim Yoona when she was angry? Because Tiffany, surely, had never seen her like this before, at least in real life.

“What makes you think I don’t like you when the truth is I like you the same, if not more?”

Tiffany wanted to scream in frustration.

Nothing from you says that!

“Why do you think it is, Unnie? Just… stop pretending like you really like me that much when you don’t. You can lie to me as much as you like but I’ve been with you all this time, Unnie. I know you. I know how you feel!”

It surprised her when Lim Yoona forcefully grasped her wrist and pushed her until her back hit the wall, hard. She pinned Tiffany’s wrist above her head and stared at her sharply, eyes looking angry and denial at the same time.

“If you really want me, if you really like me,” The actress said, bringing her face so very close to the younger, “then why didn’t you show it? Then why didn’t you let me know?”

Tiffany opened to argue but Lim Yoona was faster,

“You never really try to get to know me, Tiffany. Not at all! Come and go? Is that how you think of me? Is that how I am to you all this time? Is that how you look at me?!”

The singer flinched under the stare.

“When did I ever go from you? When did I ever stay away from you? I always come to you because I need you. Why else would I do that? You really think I’m seeing someone else, you really think you’re not the only one for me, is that why you never did the same to me? It’s always me, Tiffany, who comes to you. Who tries to stay close to you. But you? What did you do for me? Huh?!”

With another frustrated sigh, Lim Yoona turned her head away and Tiffany breathed in the exhaustion.

“But if you want to end it then…”

Three seconds Tiffany contemplated of what she should do next, before Lim Yoona cupped both her cheeks and pulled her for a forced kiss. Tiffany gasped and Lim Yoona took the chance. She kissed her hard, desperately until Tiffany had to grasp the actress’ collar for her balance.

They both pulled away later, chest heaving to crave for more air. Lim Yoona had her hand on the wall as she pressed Tiffany harder onto the wall behind, their foreheads linking, their lips barely touching each other’s. Tiffany closed her eyes. She could feel her heart thumping to no end with Lim Yoona this close to her.

And abruptly, so very suddenly, the actress let her go and walked away from her, leaving the panting and confused Tiffany alone in that empty corridor. Tiffany stared at her back in silence, until it disappeared behind the walls and doors.

Tiffany shut her eyes tight. She brought a hand to her hair and grasped it tight.

Lim Yoona had left her.

So it was indeed hard for her to go through.

-

Again, Tiffany stumbled on her way to go back to her room.

She sniffed, feeling the salty tears wetting her cheeks. She didn’t know, she kept reminding herself of how Lim Yoona talked back to her, of how she kissed her, and of how she walked away from her. The sight of her back drifting away from Tiffany had made her heart sink. And out of nowhere, the urge to cry was just there.

She wanted to cry. And she did. Wasn’t that enough of a proof that she still, even now, liked Lim Yoona?

Such a cruel, selfish being, Tiffany cussed. She stopped walking and supported herself by putting her hand on a nearest wall, and pursed her lips so hard to prevent sobbing. Nonetheless, Tiffany was still Tiffany. The famous singer whom almost everyone recognized. And she was outside her room, in the middle of the resort’s corridor, even though it was empty, but people could freely walk back and forth around her.

And her crying like this would make a hit headline tomorrow morning.

Tiffany felt like a total idiot for crying like this. Why did she even have to cry? She was the one who asked for a break up, say it like that, even though it actually wasn’t exactly one. She was supposed to be bold, to be strong. Where was her confidence? Did Lim Yoona also take it with her?

Clearly, Tiffany wasn’t in her right minds. She didn’t know what to do, where she should go, she even felt her head started to spin. It must be the wine, she thought. It was a total mess for her. She felt miserable, upset, angry, disappointed…

And numb. She felt numb.

Shaking her head, which wasn’t a good idea since it made her feel dizzy even more, Tiffany wiped her silly tears and told herself to just quickly get back to her room so she could do anything she wanted there, including maybe, crying her heart out.

She then stood straight and turned around, but she quickly regretted it because there was someone else there. Someone she knew. Someone she avoided.

Tiffany’s watery eyes widened as she stared at that someone, the filthy rich, Jessica Jung.

“H-how…”

Her voice hitched when she tried to speak. She completely sounded pathetic. How did Jessica even get here, anyway? How long had she been there? Why didn’t Tiffany hear anything? Or did the numbness she felt turn her to stupid and deaf? She hadn’t even recovered from what had happened earlier, why did Jessica have to suddenly appear and made her feel even way worse than before?

Realizing how ridiculous she must’ve looked, Tiffany tried to walk away, but damn, again, she stumbled.

Jessica quickly caught her. Tiffany gasped, nervously looked up to Jessica. She looked at those eyes. At how it looked back at hers and made her incapable to let out a word.

Without saying anything, Jessica helped Tiffany to stand straight on her two feet before she, another unexpectedly, pulled Tiffany for a tight hug. The singer stood there completely frozen, confused, her hands awkwardly placed on the businesswoman’s shoulders.

“It’s okay, Stephanie.” Jessica whispered, being the first words she said to Tiffany, “No one’s going to come here.”

As Jessica rubbed her back gently and unknown to Tiffany, did a hand gesture to some men around them, the singer started sobbing. She didn’t mean it, but she couldn’t control it any longer. Her feeling, the numbness, the losing, Lim Yoona, whatever it was in her mind, had made her so very frustrated.

She didn’t care as she held tight onto Jessica and buried her face on the woman’s chest. Her sobs could be heard clearly but she really, really didn’t care.

Losing Lim Yoona was indeed hard but what Tiffany didn’t realize was, that she wasn’t completely ready for it.

And it felt like a dream being hugged by someone else that wasn’t Lim Yoona, someone else who was, well, shorter, colder, but strangely, in a good way.

-

“Can you stop staring?”

Tiffany’s hoarse voice broke their long silence that time. It still sounded pathetic, Tiffany admitted, even though it was still better than before. She also kept reminding herself at how unattractive she looked at the moment because of her smeared make up thanks to her stupid tears. That’s why Jessica should stop staring at her. It was embarrassing.

Jessica blinked, her unreadable expression didn’t falter a bit. She tightened her crossed arms and let out a hum.

“I can. But there’s nothing else to stare. So,” She left her sentence hanging with a shrug.

Bitterly chuckled in amusement, Tiffany wiped her cheeks again for the nth time with the nth tissue. She could still feel her faint sobs forcing her to let out something like a hiccup. Jessica extended her hand and pushed the box of tissue closer to her, because Tiffany might needed more since she still looked far from okay.

They were sitting face to face inside the resort’s restaurant, in the balcony to be exact. Jessica had emptied it. And it reminded Tiffany that the woman who was sitting across her was the owner of this resort.

“Did you follow me?”

Tiffany’s next question made Jessica’s eyebrows raised, “What?”

“Did you follow me?” The singer repeated, “How could you find me like…. like that?”

Jessica hummed again as she answered, “My sister told me about your visit. She insisted me to at least say hi to you. So, I looked for you and the staff said that you were supposed to be in the party so I went there, but they said you had gone back to your room. I thought that I’d just text you or something since you were probably busy but then… then I bumped into you.”

Yeah, bumped into her in one of her worst condition. Tiffany held her scoff at how pathetic she herself was.

“And I couldn’t just… stay still seeing you like that.”

A mumble, “I’m so helpless, aren’t I.”

“Nah,” Jessica shook her head, her slight smile made an appearance, “that’s understandable.”

Tiffany only weakly smiled.

“Did you… break up?”

Break up. Tiffany sighed and shook her head, “It wasn’t necessarily a break up. Since… since I wasn’t even her girlfriend.”

“Hmm…” Jessica nodded her head, “I understand. Well, sometimes things between the two just don’t work out. It’s hard but… I hope you’ll get through this.”

The singer looked up to Jessica and the latter was staring down to her tapping fingers on the table. Tiffany had her eyes on it. No different from before, there were also no rings. Tiffany bit her lip. She didn’t know why she always looked for rings in Jessica’s fingers. And strangely she still couldn’t find any.

“How could you…”

Tiffany hesitated as their eyes met. The nerves were still there. Jessica’s eyes were still too captivating to be ignored.

“Yes?”

“How could you… act like this?”

Jessica frowned, “Act like what?”

“I mean, with what you saw, what you knew, don’t you feel… uncomfortable around me?”

Hearing that, Jessica smiled. She didn’t answer. She suddenly stood up and extended her hand to the singer, urging her to grab it. Tiffany did, hesitantly, and she was pulled up to walk to the trellis.

“Look at that.”

Jessica then pointed at the outdoor garden, where the party was held and hadn’t finished. It was kind of far from the restaurant, but they could see the flashing lights and hear the blasting music pretty clearly. Tiffany stared at it in blank. Lim Yoona was still there. Or maybe she was back in her room with a new fling to replace her.

“I know almost all the public figures there, Stephanie.” Jessica continued, “Business involves a lot of people and celebrities often take part in it, so they often invest to my company also. And believe me, none of them are as good as what they show to the public.”

Tiffany turned her head to Jessica, and instantly gulped at how mesmerizing the latter’s side profile was.

“The same goes for me, Jessica.” She said, as a matter-of-fact.

“It does.” Jessica nodded, agreed, she was still eyeing the garden, “But I’ve used to it.”

Jessica then turned her side to Tiffany, resting her elbow on the trellis,

“I’ve grown to believe that I can’t define someone merely by the way they act. But also the way they think, they feel, the way they show it. I’ve met a lot of people who are worse than you, even the worst of them all.” Jessica said and Tiffany chuckled, “People like you, Stephanie, are easy to get lost in their world. I understand that. And I appreciate the ones who don’t, the ones who get a grip on themselves.”

The smile on Jessica’s face reappeared.

“Like you.”

Of all sudden, Jessica brought a hand to Tiffany’s head, caressing it softly. The singer felt her breath hitched, at what Jessica had said, at how close they were, at Jessica.

“People like you are easy to lose who they really are. But I believe you’re a kind person. And I hope you will never lose yourself, Stephanie.”

Tiffany felt her body moved by instinct as she wrapped her arms around Jessica’s neck and pulled her as close as she could. There weren’t much people who had said such things to her. It might sound simple, but it was exactly what Tiffany felt.

And now it came from Jessica Jung. Out of all people, Jessica Jung.

Tiffany sighed in content when Jessica hugged her back. It was weird, strange, and yet, in a good way.

****

Hiii.... it was a long wait, wasn't it?

I updated today because it's my dad's birthday. Happy 40th birthday daddy!! <3