“This is crazy!”

With much force, Tiffany dropped the bunch of papers from her hand onto the table. She realized her voice was probably too loud, but she was inside her company’s café at the moment, so she didn’t feel worried that people could hear her.

Early in the morning without any warnings, Sunny and Jihoon picked her up at her apartment and told her to get ready because her boss, the company’s CEO, wanted to meet her immediately. It was too sudden. Tiffany hadn’t even touched her well-prepared breakfast, because she thought she’d be free for the day.

No matter how many years had passed, Tiffany would always feel nervous in talking to her boss, even though only slightly. And that time wasn’t any different. Her managers were also curious. Did she do something wrong? Did something happen and she didn’t realize?

When she thought she had pissed her boss off, turned out it was her who was currently, pissed off.

The rumor mills had spread too wide, her boss said. More and more people could know about Lim Yoona and her. If it reached portal news sites, it would be over for Tiffany. There might be also pictures, nobody knew. Tiffany could only sigh and clutch her handbag so tight. But it wasn’t the end, apparently.

There was someone else whom her boss invited. Tiffany knew him. His name was Nichkhun, an idol group member. Tiffany frowned deeply when Nichkhun came. She already knew where this would go. And her guess was totally true.

“Pretend you two are dating.”

“I know, right.”

Across her, Nichkhun, sipped his coffee with a cringe. He took this decision easier than Tiffany though. But still, he couldn’t hide his displeasure. Well, they were quite close and wouldn’t it be awkward? They had been friends even before they debuted and suddenly they were told to pretend to be dating.

And Tiffany doesn’t like boys, seriously.

“Why you, though?” Tiffany then asked, and Nichkhun gave her a strange stare, “I mean, I’m aware of my position right now, and I understand if this fake dating thingy will somehow help me, but what about you?”

“Hmm…” He put his cup down, “I don’t know, actually. But the company offered me a quite big bunch so why not?”

Tiffany scoffed, “Lucky you.”

Nichkhun only shrugged at that. Tiffany then heavily sighed and rubbed her temple. Why was it only now? She really had ended it with Lim Yoona. Did the person who leaked the rumor mill, whoever it was, did it by purpose? Clearly Tiffany and Lim Yoona hadn’t even seen each other after that time at Jeju. But now because of that damned rumor mill, almost nobody believed that the relationship was actually over.

“I’m really sorry, though.” Nichkhun started again, “It must be uncomfortable for you and your girlfriend.”

“Nah.” Tiffany quickly shook her head, “I don’t have anything to do with her anymore. Well yeah, we… had something once but now it’s over and I also don’t understand why it’s spreading just now, so don’t ask.”

“I see. Well, your image is too clean so I guess they want to spill some dirt to you.”

“What even…”

“And I think it goes for me too. People have always wondered why I don’t have any scandals. Probably this fake dating scandal with you would make me more… human.”

The singer frowned, “You’re weird. Nobody wants scandals, it’s the least public figures want.”

“You would say that.” He pointed his finger at her, “But how about those hopeless, talentless, so-called public figures out there? Scandals would help them a lot. Even better if it involved some top stars. I’m not saying I’m one of them, though. It’s just most time you have to admit that public figures need scandals, for better or worse.”

Tiffany could only sigh and forcefully agreed.

“Besides, behind every scandal there’s one good thing.” He added as he put both elbows on the table, “You can get rid of your fake fans and all that’s left are the ones who truly love you.”

The singer stared at Nichkhun sharply before she let out another scoff,

“You’re still weird, Khun. Fans love me, you, all of us, because we’re Tiffany Hwang and Nichkhun from the idol group. Not because we’re Stephanie Hwang and Nichkhun Buck… well, whatever your last name is because it’s too hard to spell. They love us because we give what they like. There’s no true love here. They will come and go as they like and it’s their choice.”

When Nichkhun kept silent, Tiffany continued,

“Before you ask, yes, that’s how I see my fans. Loving us is… something they choose, and when they do, there’s no commitment in it. They can love me today and leave me tomorrow, it’s normal. And there are a lot of other singers out there, not just me. Every time I think about the possibilities of them liking the others more than me, I feel the need to hold them. It’s the feeling of insecurity, they belong to me. And the only way is to always give them what they want from me.

If I pretended to be dating you, I would be lying to them. It’s probably no big deal for you, or for most public figures, but it is to me. Honestly, I don’t want them to know more about me, to cross the barrier between me as a singer and as myself. I always keep my private life, private. I always make sure to tell them that… I will try not to reveal the real myself too much. Because there are a lot of things that I’m sure they can’t, won’t accept.”

Like, being gay, for example.

“I see.” He said, after a quite long silence, “I didn’t realize how many times had passed since we last talked because you sound so wise right now.”

Tiffany only bitterly chuckled at that.

“I really feel bad, you know. I understand it’s not an easy thing for you to do this pretending and stuff. If you want to back out then--”

“No, no.” She quickly shook her head, “That’s not what I meant. Well, I want to but I can’t. We can’t. We still have to do this.”

Nichkhun nodded his head in agreement. Yes, they couldn’t. There was no more explanation. They just couldn’t.

“Okay, since both of us have to agree, then let’s do this, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Tiffany ran her fingers through the papers on the table, too lazy to think of any more possibilities, “Let’s hang on for a year or so.”

-

The door was slammed shut roughly and it startled Sunny who was waiting inside.

Tiffany didn’t care as she threw her handbag carelessly onto the floor with a loud bang. She slumped herself onto the couch and brought her hand to her temple, rubbing it with her eyes pinched shut. Her breaths were uneven. She was upset.

It was past midnight and Tiffany had just gone home after finishing a part of another fake life of hers, dating Nichkhun. They went on fake dates, pretended hiding, pretended wearing masks or whatsoever, and most importantly, pretended to be happy. They even had to kiss. Of course there were cameras. There were also managers, telling them what to do.

It made Tiffany upset. It might sound not too bad, but when Tiffany actually did it, it was beyond worst.

She didn’t want to do that. She wanted to back out. She wanted to scream, shout, that she wasn’t a toy and she didn’t deserve to be treated like one. She wanted to have the freedom to tell the world who her true love was. She wanted everything the opposite of what she got.

Tiffany was upset, and when she was, she could become a scary person.

“Fany,” She felt a hand on her shoulder, but she ignored it, “are you okay?”

Is that even a question, God damn it.

“Okay, how was--”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She quickly said, still unwilling to open her eyes.

There was a silence before Sunny ended with a sigh, “Alright. I’ll go now. Rest, Fany.”

She could her Sunny picking up her coat and walked away, soon the door being opened and closed as soft as possible. Tiffany sighed deeply, rolled her head back, her eyes opened. Her apartment was dark and quiet. It was late at night and nothing was heard. She was alone. She was tired. But as usual, she couldn’t think of sleep at all.

It made her feel even worse.

Her eyes then landed to her handbag on the floor. Her phone was inside it. Tiffany stared at it for some time, her mind blank, her eyes empty. Before suddenly someone popped out inside her head. Someone who probably, could cheer her up a little.

Tiffany didn’t hesitate when she stood up and picked up her handbag, only to drop it again onto the floor after she took out her phone. She didn’t think twice as she pressed a number then dialed it. She knew it was past midnight, but she didn’t care, at least she had to try even just once.

And when the other person actually answered, Tiffany’s breath slightly hitched.

“Hello?”

It took her some time to comprehend what she actually was doing. It was so late, and yet the person answered her call, as expected the voice made Tiffany unable to speak for a moment.

“Stephanie? You’re there?”

“Y-yeah.” She finally said, in a rushed breath.

“Okay. Hello, Stephanie. What is it?”

Yeah, hello, Jessica.

“Umm… I…” Tiffany ran her hand through her hair, didn’t know how to explain.

“Yes?”

“I uh… I don’t know, I--”

“I’m at my office right now.” Jessica suddenly said, “Currently finishing for tomorrow’s deadline. If you want to talk…”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

With that she ended the call, grasped her handbag, and exited her apartment in a complete hurry, didn’t bother to think twice.

-

LC Tower was empty. Dead silent. And dark.

The security couldn’t believe his eyes and probably had a major heart attack when Tiffany came and asked him to bring her to the 11^th floor. But he complied, though. Apparently Jessica had told him that there was going to be a guest coming over. It’s just maybe she didn’t tell that it was the famous Tiffany Hwang.

It was kind of scary being in such a huge but empty place. Tiffany silently relieved the security accompanied her until they reached Jessica’s working room. He bowed at her, nervously, before excused himself. Tiffany tried to look inside, but Jessica’s room was also dark and she couldn’t see her.

Tiffany then knocked and pushed the door open.

She saw Jessica. The businesswoman was standing by the huge window, her back facing Tiffany. The light was off, probably Jessica let it by purpose. When she heard Tiffany coming inside, she turned around, and smiled. Tiffany unconsciously did the same too. Her heart was still heavy, but she returned the smile, even though wasn’t as wide as the usual.

“Hi, Stephanie.” Jessica said, her voice was so clear because there was literally nothing there except both of them, “Is it scary? The office, I mean.”

“Kind of.” Tiffany walked closer to Jessica, “It isn’t to you?”

“No. I’m used to it.” She gestured Tiffany to come closer, “Come here.”

There was a couch placed right in front of the window behind Jessica’s working desk. Jessica took a seat there, and Tiffany joined beside her. They could see the sight of Korea’s capital city clearly from there. It was beautiful. And somehow, soothing.

“I’m crazy, aren’t I?” Tiffany mumbled.

“Hmm?”

“Calling you in the middle of the night out of nowhere. Ended up being here randomly with you. I don’t know, but it’s crazy.”

Jessica shook her head, “It’s okay. I understand. I was also busy with some stuff earlier so… it doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, lucky me.”

A nod, “What is it, Stephanie?”

Tiffany sighed, looking down to her lap. She could feel Jessica’s eyes on her, but she didn’t stare back. She already felt slightly better, though. From the moment she saw Jessica earlier, it didn’t feel as heavy as before.

“I’m just… tired.”

“Tired?”

“Yeah, tired.” Of faking, of pretending, of everything.

Jessica nodded her head and rested her back, “I see. Well, insomnia is a huge bother indeed.”

The singer frowned instantly and turned her head at Jessica, who was busy staring at the window. Wait, Jessica knew she had insomnia? But Tiffany never told her before. Well, basically it wasn’t a secret anymore for her fans about her insomnia but… Jessica wasn’t her fan. How could she know?

But when Jessica stared back at her with those eyes, Tiffany decided to stop thinking. She shook her head with another sigh. Again, without thinking, she leaned her back and rested her head on Jessica’s shoulder, eyes looking emptily at the scenery in front of her.

“What is it?” She heard Jessica asked her again, softer this time, and Tiffany had to shut her eyes at that.

There was a long silence, and it wasn’t as awkward as before. In fact, it wasn’t awkward at all. Tiffany found it comfortable instead. She then sighed, for the nth time already, and started slowly,

“Tomorrow there will be news about me.” She said, and Jessica patiently waited, “But please, I beg you, don’t believe it.”

Jessica let out a hum, “So that’s what’s bothering you.”

“Yeah.” Tiffany nodded slowly, “Would you trust me if I say it’s not true, that I had to do it, not in my consent?”

“Of course.”

“You would?”

“Yeah, why not?”

Tiffany lifted her head from Jessica’s shoulder, and they stared at each other. They were so close, and Tiffany could feel her heart racing when Jessica brushed her bangs off of her face with that smile, Tiffany’s favorite.

“You don’t mind?” Tiffany asked again.

“About what?”

“About this. The way I keep coming back to you. Do you mind?”

“Why should I?” Jessica raised one eyebrow, “You’re the only one I have in mind too at times like this. It’s good to be fair.”

Tiffany closed her eyes again, unable to hold the stare those eyes gave her.

“Jessica, forgive me.” She whispered.

“Huh?” Jessica lightly frowned.

“Forgive me.”

“What--”

Before she could finish, a pair of lips met hers, and Jessica froze completely. Tiffany felt like she had lost her mind, that’s why she apologized first. She wasn’t sure of Jessica, but Tiffany couldn’t deny how she felt toward the latter. It hadn’t changed. It even blossomed from time to time. Jessica might not realize it, but Tiffany just wanted to show it.

She pressed her lips to Jessica, still, unmoving. The warmth of Jessica’s lips made her shiver. It was different, in a good way. She realized it right away, how different it was from kissing Nichkhun earlier, even from Lim Yoona. It was hard to explain, hard to describe, but then again, Tiffany didn’t have time for that.

It took her by surprise when Jessica started moving her lips first. When she felt Jessica reaching for her waist, pulling her even closer, she lost herself. The pang on her chest was gone. She kissed back passionately, her arms finding its way around Jessica’s neck, grasping her hair softly.

They kept going, tilting their heads, deepening the kiss. Soon Tiffany was on Jessica’s lap, their lips didn’t stop. Tiffany whimpered slightly when Jessica nibbled her upper lip, her tongue moved in the next second. Well, Jessica was a better kisser than Tiffany thought.

They then pulled away, breathless, panting for air with both of them still holding onto each other for dear life.

Tiffany stared down at Jessica in awe. Okay, they just kissed. Okay, it went way further than what Tiffany had planned. But she didn’t mind. Not at all.

Jessica’s lips formed a lopsided smile at Tiffany. Her hand caressed the latter’s head in an innocent manner. Her eyes were so soft, so Jessica, and Tiffany felt herself was exactly standing on the edge.

“You are forgiven.” Jessica then said, her voice hoarse and Tiffany could feel her fingers grasped Jessica’s shirt too tight, “Let’s just fall, Stephanie.”

Tiffany didn’t remember when the last time she could genuinely smile happily. All she cared that at that time, after Jessica said that, she could, she did, before she nodded her head and kissed Jessica again, and again, and again.

She had fallen from the edge.

-

When she woke up, the sun attacked her so fiercely from the huge window. She narrowed her eyes, and was about to move her hand to cover her face, when she realized where she was, and she froze instantly.

Jessica.

Both of them slept on the couch. With Jessica on her back, and Tiffany nuzzled comfortably on top of her. Tiffany’s hands were on Jessica’s shoulders, meanwhile the latter’s were circling Tiffany’s waist loosely. It wasn’t very comfortable, but her sleep was great. Like, so very great.

She had a good rest.

The night before they just talked. And kissed. And talked a bit more until probably Tiffany dozed off first, she didn’t remember. They didn’t do anything beyond that. Tiffany was too tired. And Jessica made a good pillow too.

Tiffany tried to move a little, but instead she woke Jessica.

It must’ve been way uncomfortable for Jessica because Tiffany literally, lied on her. The businesswoman hummed lowly before she opened her eyes slowly, and met Tiffany’s gaze.

“Good morning.”

Jessica lazily smiled, “Morning.”

“I’m sorry. Is your back okay?”

“Hmm. Don’t mind me.”

Tiffany tried to get up a little, but she completely forgot that they were currently at Jessica’s office, the LC tower. Her eyes widened when she saw the employees outside Jessica’s room were already working.

“Can they see us?” She asked, worriedly.

Jessica brought herself slightly up, with Tiffany still on top of her.

“Oh, them.” She looked at her employees, “No, they can’t. We can, but they can’t.”

Tiffany sighed in relieve at that. They would be screwed if the employees could see them. Even worse, in this position.

“How are you? Okay now?”

When Jessica asked that, Tiffany frowned slightly at the former, but then she remembered the reason she came here the night before. Nichkhun, the fake dating, and the news should be out this morning. She already felt okay, but remembering that made her lost her smile.

“The news should be out already.”

Jessica nodded, “Okay. Want to check?”

Tiffany didn’t think it was a good idea. But Jessica was stubborn as both of them got up, she went to her computer right after. Tiffany followed behind with a worried heart. After years from her debut, this would probably the first time she was involved in a dating scandal. And worse was, it was fake. Great. Thinking about it made her stomach twist in a bad way.

It was everywhere. Tiffany could catch her name on every headline popped on the screen. She was everywhere, they were everywhere. Jessica then clicked on one article, and it showed many pictures of her and Nichkhun during their fake dates. Where they held hands, hugged, even kissed.

Jessica didn’t let out a word after she read the news. Tiffany waited, but Jessica kept still. She was as usual, unreadable. Tiffany felt bad. Of course she did. Just right after their… probably indirect confession last night, this had to happen.

The businesswoman then crossed her arms and sat slightly on her working desk.

“I’ve never heard about this guy before.”

Tiffany chuckled lowly, “He’s quite the trend, though.”

Jessica pursed her lips and nodded her head.

“Uh… Jessica, I’m sorry.” Tiffany hung her head low, “It’s… I had to do it. We’re actually friends but I had to, we had to.”

Jessica then stood up and brought her hand to Tiffany’s head, something that slowly had become her new habit, and it made Tiffany lift her head to stare at her. Those eyes looked so sincere, so kind. Tiffany was positive that there was no one else who could talk just with their eyes, like Jessica could.

“I can never truly understand your world, but I will try to. I can’t imagine how exactly complicated it is, but I will trust you. You told me not to believe it. So I won’t believe it.”

She was about to argue, but Jessica silenced her by scooting closer to her.

“Our one thing in common, Stephanie. Remember?”

It felt surreal at how easy Jessica could trust her, but then again, Tiffany herself would do the same if she was in Jessica’s shoes. She could trust her easily, and would have no regrets after because it was Jessica, that reason was enough.

When Jessica placed a soft kiss on her forehead, the memories of the night before replayed. Tiffany closed her eyes, and Jessica’s voice rang in her head.

Let’s just fall, Stephanie.

And yes, they fell indeed.

****

I really did fall sick like Jessica in the previous chap, so I restrained myself from writing for some time. When I got better, I tried to continue this and ended up being too engrossed until I finished it in one go. So there might be typos, I'm sorry. I was just happy writing this chap hehehe.

Tell me what you think, yeah?

And uh, I just want to say that Taylor Swift's 1989 is pure gold. I Know Places is a perfection. I hope she grabs a Grammy or two.

Bye!!