Junmyeon was ecstatic even when their orders arrived. As expected, Eunbyeol got him his favorite Baked Back Ribs meal while she got herself a plate of Pesto pasta. It’s the usual dishes they get when they’re at the café and there’s just no end to their fascination on the food.

“I can’t believe you’d agree,” the boy commented as he took a bite of his beef. “All this time, I thought you’re gonna reject me.”

Eunbyeol stared at the plate in front of her, her fork playing with the pieces of penne in there. Her heart was racing. Anybody who will hear the question might think that they’re the real deal because of he fashioned his sentence. Reject? She was close to having done that but a stupid emotion called ‘attraction’ interfered and messed things up. But had it not gotten in the way, would she really have rejected him?

“I could never say no to you, Junmyeon-ah,” she voiced out the answer to her own question. “You know that so well.”

Junmyeon reached out for his best friend’s hand and just held it, a wide smile painted on his beautiful face. The action made the girl look at him questioningly, and she also wondered why she did. Simple skinships like that never bothered them. Even kisses in the forehead and tight hugs are normal between the best friends; but with the situation they’re in, Eunbyeol know everything’s already different.

But the guy won’t acknowledge that. As he felt her pulling away, he held her hand tighter and intertwined their fingers. “You’re not usually fidgety when I hold your hand, Eunbyeol-ah,” he whispered casually as he stared at their hands on the table and heaved a deep sigh. “I know it’s going to be awkward from now on but this will convince people that we are really together and that’s our goal, right?”

Eunbyeol could swear she heard a fragment of her heart break. How could she let her truth affect their reality? They were just pretending so she must get rid of all the fluttery and giddy emotions in her.

“I don’t want you to think that I’m taking advantage of you but please understand if I do what boyfriends do to their girlfriends to you, it’s because I really just need to do it,” Junmyeon suddenly explained. “You don’t have to exert any effort into this. I can handle everything well, but just be at the receiving end.”

The girl’s head was spinning. The man was practically warning her off. He was seemingly explaining to her the rules of a game she never thought – but nonetheless, willingly – entered. She doesn’t need to exert any effort? But what if she wanted to? Would he see it as a mere act to just convince people as well? So there’s no chance of showing her true feelings in this kind of relationship?

As if her questions were heard, Junmyeon continued. “Everything – and I mean everything – we do as a couple should not be taken to heart seriously,” he said and once again, Eunbyeol heard her heart break.

“But some couple actions can be done by best friends as well,” the girl muttered as she continued staring at her plate. “What if we get confused and in the end, we lose what we always have?” This time, her glassy eyes shifted to meet the man’s. Sure, she had admitted to the attraction she never thought she has towards her best friend; but that’s out of the question now. The fear of losing something so precious as their friendship was really pushing her to the edge.

Junmyeon noticed the worry and his heart swell at how she treats their bond as a great deal. He reached out to cup her cheeks, wiping the tears that weren’t there. “We’re adults now and I trust that we both know already what’s right and what’s wrong. I’m sorry I ed when I asked you to marry me but that would be the only mistake we’re not going to correct. Nothing should change. I don’t want to lose our friendship too,” he said with the most loving tone he could produce. “You understand?”

The girl stared at the man in front of her as she tried to get rid of the tears threatening to fall. Did she understand what he said? If he actually meant that their relationship shall never go beyond being best friends and she was clearly locked in the friendzone, then perhaps she did.

But why did it hurt? Was it actually supposed to hurt?

In the end, she just nodded. For whose question such action became an answer to, she has no idea.