Jinki didn’t sleep the previous night. He couldn’t sleep after receiving that ext from Kibum.

Even early this morning when Taemin managed to scramble an egg for him, all he could think about was confronting Kibum first thing at work. When Jinki hurries into Kibum’s work area he didn’t expect to see Jonghyun talk to the other, laughing and carrying on. Jinki wonders if the world is playing tricks on him.

“Oh Mr. Lee” Jonghyun greets and Kibum turns to see Jinki standing in the doorway.

“Mr.Lee” Kibum greets as well.

“Hello Jonghyun, Kibum.”

Both Jonghyun and Kibum burst into laughter when they exchange glances. Jinki’s confused and is gradually becoming angry.

“Oh so I’ll see you Saturday night?” Jonghyun asks happily as he leaves, walking backwards.

“I don’t know.” Kibum teases.

“Kibum!”

“Jonhyun!”

“Kibum 7:30pm, you know the place.” Jonghyun reminds and leaves a confused Jinki and laughing Kibum.

“So Mr.Lee did you like my latest sketches?”

Jinki doesn’t beat around the bush, he goes straight for the kill. “Are you dating Jonghyun now?” The smile fades from Kibum’s face.

“What kind of question is that?”

“Are you?” Jinki repeats.

Kibum doesn’t answer instead he begins to search through a file on the desk. Jniki sees that he’s being ignored and dismisses it.

“Why did you send me that text last night?”

Kibum is silent.

“Why do you want to end like this?” I know it’s not good enough for you but -”

“But what?” Kibum meets his gaze with teary eyes. “But what , Jinki?” You don’t know how much it hurts when I look at your wedding ring and I’m reminded that you’re already somebody’s. You’re going to be a father and im not the one who’s pregnant. When you go to sleep at night I’m not the one you sleep beside. I-I feel like a concubine. I feel low. You make me feel low, Jinki. Taemin ‘s a nice person. I feel like a home wrecker. I can’t take it anymore! I can’t take it! So what, Jinki? But what?!”

“But I love you dammit!” Jinki shouts loud enough to alert the workers nearby. Kibum is stunned, his face stained by his tears and his chest heaving.

Jinki approaches him and cups his face, “I love you, don’t you see that? I would marry you in a heartbeat if I could, have a baby with you if I could, grow old with you if I could. I love you! I can’t stop think about you dammit!” He crashes his lips onto Kibum’s. Kibum grabs onto him desperately as he kisses back.

**

“I love you.” Jinki murmurs. Kibum arches and scrapes Jinki’s back with his nails.

********

Jinki enters his home and finds Taemin sitting on the sofa, watching TV and eating a fruit salad.

“Hi” Jinki greets.

“Hi! How was work?” Work. How was work, Taemin asks. If he only knew.

“Jinki are you alright?” Taemin asks when Jinki doesn’t answer. He rubs his temples and blink.

“Y-Yeah , just tired.” Jinki is discombobulated. “I’m going to take a nap.” He moves off and Taemin follows, his swollen stomach protruding through is T-shirt.” Jinki strips himself and Taemin watches on silently.

“Jinki I’m concerned about you.” Taemin hugs him from behind . Jinki disengages himself and turns to face Taemin properly.

“You’re so pretty.” Jinki thinks aloud. So pretty, faithful and sincere. Taemin is everything he’s not. After being with Key the whole afternoon and coming home to Taemin, he feels like…. He loves key and he loves Taemin, who’s currently five months pregnant with his first child plus they’ve been married for 3 4 or 3 years he doesn’t remember anymore and he hates himself for it. He’s playing with two hearts here and he doesn’t want to choose. Can’t he just have them both?

“Jinki?” Jinki blinks and tells Taemin he’s fine. He places his hand on Taemin’s belly and is amazed how big he is already.

“How’s the baby?”

Taemin chuckles. “He’s making me eat pineapples like crazy.” Jinki smiles.

“I thought you hated pineapples.”

“I do!” Taemin laughs again. Jinki takes off his shirt and heads for the bathroom to shower and Taemin sits outside in the cool night air, willing himself not to cry.

He saw them. He suspected something behind Jinki’s strange behavior. He saw them. The scratches on his back and the hickeys on his neck. He swore he saw them before but now they were obvious. Jinki’s been with someone else.

“Don’t cry Taemin.” He tells himself but he can’t help the tears. He chokes on a sob and put his hand on his tummy. He has to be strong for his baby. He has to be strong for his little boy.

“What’s wrong with me?” He cries. “What did I do to push him away?” Taemin cries even more. “Maybe he doesn’t think I’m attractive anymore.” He pokes his arm.

“I’m so fat.”