“Kibum.” Jinki moans and the other resumes kissing him. Kibum is very affectionate, Jinki has got to admit that and he’s also a great kisser and lover too. But when Jinki thinks about Kibum being a good lover, he feels guilty because he’s loving two persons. He loves them equally. Well…he thinks he does.

“Oh.” he groans when Kibum clambers into his lap and grinds a little against him. Kibum’s so exciting and arousing, fierce and feisty whereas Taemin is more on the soft, calm subtle side but has been a bit more spontaneously lately. But why is Jinki comparing them both as he’s making out intensely with Key? Jinki feels himself being pushed down onto Kibum’s soft lavender scented sheets and Kibum is discarding his clothes to which Jinki readily complies.

“I love you so much” Kibum whispers desperately  in Jinki’s ears when he’s atop him again.

“I love you more.” Kibum stops his ministrations to look Jinki in the eyes. Then he rolls off him and lays on his back.. Jinki, confused, hovers above him, their bodies exposed.

“Make love to me.”

Kibum is an extreme turn-on but right before Jinki enters him, Jinki stops and scrambles off the bed. Kibum is instantly frightened.

“What are you looking for?” He asks, breathing heavily,

“I can’t find it.”

“What?” Kibum hurries to his side. “What can’t you find?”

“The , I swore I-”

“?” Kibum asks incredulously.

“Yeah, I swore I-” Jinki shuts himself up because the other is looking murderous by the minute.

“Why all of a sudden you want to use a ?” We never use a !” Kibum sneers. Jinki doesn’t know where all this anger is coming from.

“It’s protection.”

“Protection?” Kibum parrots and laughs. He folds his arms across his chest and paces back and forth. “Protection? You think I’m doing anyone else? You think I have some STD or STI? HUH?! Because if you do, you’re ridiculous!”

“Kibum, it’s not about that, I assure you. Taemin is pregnant -”

“You didn’t want me to get pregnant?” Kibum finishes sadly and Jinki feels like scum.

“Kibum, I’m sorry.” Kibum hangs his head and sits at the edge of his bed and starts to cry. He’s quickly comforted by Jinki who rushes to him and lifts him up so he can settle in his lap.

“When Taemin told me a few weeks ago, I was happy for him but when I found out that he’s married to you, I grieved.” He cries. “Because I had you first.” He peers into Jinki’s eyes. “I had you first, Jinki.”

Jinki doesn’t know how to respond.

“When we were in our last year of high school, I became pregnant.” Jinki gasps.

“What?!”

“I was so scared. Me? Pregnant? I didn’t know how to tell you or if I even should so I just kept it to myself. The idea of us having a baby was so frightening but also comforting because we’d have a little family. But a few days after I’d found out, there was an accident.”

“The day you slipped and fell down the stairs?”

“Yes” He sobs. “I lost the baby. I was probably 3 weeks along.”

“Oh my god, Kibum! Why didn’t you tell me? You didn’t have to endure the pain on your own.”

“I thought, that, maybe it happened for a reason, that I was too young to have a child.”

“Kibum.” Jinki finds himself crying. “Kibum, I’m so sorry. I wish I knew.”

“What are you crying for?” Kibum laughs and thumbs away Jinki’s tears. “You’re having a baby with Taemin.” He says to cheer Jinki up.

“It will never be the same and don’t you ever ever think that the baby that Taemin has on the way is a replacement for the one you lost. Ok?”

Kibum nods. “Okay.”

***

When Jinki returns home, he finds Taemin vomiting violently over the toilet.

“Taemin!” He helps the younger up and wipes his lips clean. “Are you alright?”

Taemin nods and tries to collect himself . “It’s the pregnancy, it’s making me ill.” Typical sickness associated with pregnancies. Nothing to worry about.” Taemin assures weakly. Jinki throws Taemin’s arm around his neck and cups the back of his knees, picks him up and carries him to the bedroom.

“You need to rest.” Jinki says as he lowers him on the bed.

“Rest with me.” Taemin whines.

“Ok baby.” Jinki snuggles  beside him.

“It’s been 19 weeks now. The doctor says we’re both fine when I went to the ultra sound.” Taemin gushes. “I wish you were there.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.”

“Me too. I heard his heartbeat.”

“His?”

“Oh” Taemin giggles. “I think it’s a boy but I don’t want to find out until his/her birth.”

“I’d love for it to be a boy.” Jinki adds.

“I know, that’s why I’m hoping for a little baby boy.” Taemin laughs. “Our little family.”

“Yeah.” Jinki remembers Kibum talking about a little family but he’d miscarriage.

Jinki wants to cry.

Right before Jinki closes his eyes to sleep, he receives a text message.

I think we should end this and stop betraying the people closest to us.

It was from Kibum.

oh look another chappie!!! Guys if you still read this i want you to know that im still decided about the onkey/ontae.

When i started this story over a year ago (almost two years) ontae was my ultimate OTP but now i've grown to like onkey quite a lot

BUT ,,,,,,yeah um yeah

Thanks for reading!!