Tomorrow comes too soon for Kyungsoo’s liking. It comes in the form of a drizzling Sunday morning, the smell of rain and wet lawn a cozy sort of comfort he considers Jackpot on a non-working day.  Sunday has always been Kyungsoo’s favorite day of the week. It’s not very hard to guess why.

Sundays give him permission to sleep in.

Sundays allow him to spend time with his brother or with Jongin or with Luhan and Sehun.

Sundays grant him plenty of time to do the chores he’s been putting off for an entire week.

Sundays would normally mean Kyungsoo waking up with a smile on his face and a day to look forward to.

But today? Today would probably be his least favorite Sunday, considering the fact that the day hasn’t even started and he’s already wishing for the clock to strike midnight, eager to label this day as past, gone, done and over with.

Though of course, the irony of life has taught him that it’s the happiest moments that fly by the quickest, and the saddest that seem to drag on forever. Right now the interval between minutes on the digital clock by his bedside certainly feels like it’s been going unnaturally slow.

He closes his eyes and listens to the light pitter patter of the rain outside. Sleep had done him no good, his mind is still jostling with thoughts and his heart beat is increasing in pace every once in a while, a nervous feeling creeping up from the bottom of his stomach to the tips of his fingers making his palms all clammy and his teeth all jittery. He dreamt of nothing the entire night, nothing but the sound of his own voice rehearsing over and over again the words he would finally get to say to his lover today.

 Jongin I’m different? Jongin I can do magic? Jongin I can raise the dead?

He’s given much thought into his script, much practice and consideration on how the other might react or feel. But despite doing so he wonders why none of these words sound right, wonders why it’s still so hard to get them out of the tip of his tongue without feeling like he’s going to vomit or faint. The day when he would actually tell Jongin the truth always seemed so far away but now its right here, right in front of him, banging on his door demanding to be faced.

Oh god. He thinks as the feeling of an oncoming headache tells him it’s time to get up.

The floor is cold against his feet as he drags himself around the room to make himself look somewhat presentable. It’s all a very routinely process that he more than gladly takes his sweet time completing. It’s quite noticeable how he does little extra things that he wouldn’t normally do just to stall time: Flossing after brushing his teeth, actually picking out what to wear instead of just randomly grabbing what’s on top, lint rolling his shirt and styling his hair. By the end of his dilly dally session he’s looking more crisp than he’s ever looked in a while.

Downstairs, breakfast is ready and set, the smell of brewed coffee wafting across the entire kitchen, reminding Kyungsoo that his day has only just begun. He checks the foyer out of habit and finds no missing shoes nor coats, much to his surprise. This can only mean that Seungsoo is probably somewhere in the house, today being one of those rare days when the elder opts not to leave in a conscious effort to give his little brother “space”.

As if to confirm his thoughts, Kyungsoo turns his head to the sound of feet thudding down their staircase and sure enough there his brother is, halting once he reaches the bottom and catching his gaze. “Goodmorning.” He says, the last half of it toning down into a mumble as though he just reminded himself mid-greeting that they still weren’t in good terms.

Seungsoo didn’t know actually, they were neither in good nor bad terms, it’s like they were no longer anything. The younger is kind enough to return the greeting anyway, “Hi, goodmorning.” He says, voice as soft and timid as ever as he awkwardly stares at the floor beneath him.

Awkward, it hurts to think that it’s a feeling now even applicable to his own brother, the only person whom he’s never been awkward with.

“Hungry? There’s breakfast in the kitchen.” Seungsoo comments unsurely, always a bit more careful with his words.

Kyungsoo bites his lip in silent contemplation before shaking his head “I’m uhm, I’m going to go out, There’s something I need to do.”

“Oh…” A pause, yet another awkward one at that. “Sorry then, I didn’t take out your sneakers or your coat, I didn’t know you were leaving today.”

“I’m surprised you aren’t leaving.” Kyungsoo says, not meaning it to sound offensive though it comes out so anyway. The older of the two merely averts his gaze, while Kyungsoo proceeds to fish out his sneakers and tug on a grey coat to go over his black turtleneck.

Stop living in mom and dad’s funeral and put some color on yourself Seungsoo would normally joke by now, though the current circumstance they’re under doesn’t call for it and as a result their silent movie continues, the younger giving himself a once over in the mirror by the hallway while his brother disappears somewhere into the kitchen.

Kyungsoo’s eyes subtly trail after him, letting out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding in. He looks at his reflection and wonders how he could look so normal on the outside and be so broken on the inside. “It’s now or never.” He whispers to himself, the smile on his face looking anything but happy.

He steps out the door and the rain starts pouring.

***

Now, from this point on, all that becomes of his day is a never ending search for the missing Kim Jongin.

His first failed attempt to invite the other out comes in the form of several missed calls. Kyungsoo furrows his brows when a female’s voice directs him to “leave a voice message” instead, after the constant ringing goes uninterrupted, nobody picking up on the other end of the line. He calls three times, listening to the same robotic voice twice before someone actually picks up at the last minute. “Jongin” he exhales, flickering his gaze momentarily outside the train windows to note that he’s around two stops away from Hongdae.

“Hello?” a different voice responds, definitely not Jongin’s. Kyungsoo pulls the phone away to make sure he’s gotten the number right because if he isn’t mistaken, its a woman’s voice.

“E-excuse me but may I speak with Jongin?” he mutters, a hundred questions running through his mind.

“Oh I’m sorry you must be looking for nini.” The strange nickname doesn’t help lessen his growing curiosity but he chooses not to comment “Bloody idiot left his phone all the way here…”

There’s a brief pause that ensues and just when Kyungsoo is about to ask the woman’s shrilly voice cuts him off “Oh my gosh, you’re Kyungsoo!”  

“H-how did-“

“Sorry I just checked the caller ID, I never thought I would meet you this way,” The woman laughs light-heartedly and Kyungsoo is simply at a loss for words. “This is his sister speaking,” oh “And I’m sorry to say that Jongin left his phone here at home.”

“It’s alright- I’m sorry, I must have disturbed you, N-noona…” The baker feels his cheeks flush with color as the train comes to a full stop. Hongdae station, the announcer repeats, Hongdae station. He promptly gets up from his seat and trudges along with the sea of people that exit.

“Oh it’s no problem Kyungsoo, although I do have to apologize for my brother’s forgetfulness, I would’ve staged a better first meeting…well if you would even consider this a meeting” She laughs again and it’s only then that Kyungsoo kind of hears the resemblance to Jongin’s own childish laugh.

“I should be the one apologizing, if I had shown up the other night we would have met by now.”

The crowd is always busy at the station and his sentence is punctured by occasional grunts everytime someone bumps into him. He makes it out quickly though, all too used to the morning hustle as he opens his umbrella and listens to the tak tak of the rain against it the minute he steps outside.

“Are you alright there?”Jongin’s sister calls out from the other end, probably hearing the bustle of people along with the noise of the rain. Kyungsoo has to slightly shout in order to be heard.

“I’m fine, I’m just at the train station that’s all”

“Well it looks like a bad time to chit chat. Let’s talk next time? I’d like to meet you properly.”

There’s a certain cheeriness to her voice that tells him she’s smiling and the baker wishes he could return the same level of enthusiasm, but unfortunately all he could think about is whether or not there will be a next time. “Wouldn’t that be nice?” She utters to break the sudden silence that’s brought about by Kyungsoo forgetting he’s on the phone and nodding his head.

“Ah! Yes, yes of course I’d love that.”

“I thought so. You’d best be going then, don’t want you walking the wrong direction because of me. If you see Jongin could you ask when he plans on getting this thing back?”

If I can even find him without his phone. “No problem.”

“Alright it was nice talking to you Kyungsoo.”

Once the line goes dead the boy lets out a sigh, stuffing the device into his pocket before splashing his way through the puddles along the sidewalk.

Jongin could be anywhere for all he knew, but the best he could do is try his luck over at the university dorms. If he recalls correctly, the tanned boy had once expressed his fondness over warm weathers and clear skies, so Kyungsoo can only imagine him moping away in his, or any of his other friends’ dorm rooms, staring out the window with that adorable pout he never admits he has. The thought brings a smile to the bakers’ lips. He keeps this scenario in his head for the rest of his walk to the university while flinging aside all thoughts of what may come to happen, if only to allow himself this brief moment of joy.

Before he even realizes it he’s already by the gates, entering easily with a visitors pass in exchange for his ID while clutching the umbrella close to himself as he recalls the way to the two identical buildings that serve as the female and male dorms. Entering the said building, he gingerly shakes off his umbrella by the entrance before carefully folding it back up, the student assistant by the front desk eyeing him rather suspiciously. Though with one wave of his visitor’s pass he’s easily granted passage.

“Why hello you.” A familiar voice calls out.

Kyungsoo shifts his gaze towards the source, surprised to find Taemin walking up to him covered in a silly looking raincoat with both hands struggling to carry a couple of paper bags. Guess someone’s been grocery shopping. Kyungsoo immediately offers him a helping hand which Taemin gladly accepts and thanks him for.

“Living in a dorm’s nice and all” the taller begins, easily easing into a conversation while leading the way deeper into the hall where some students hang around “but it’s a real pain in the without a woman around to do like this for you”

There’s a hint of stereotyping in his statement that Kyungsoo chooses not to comment on, despite his strong disagreement with the association of females and house errands, after all he’s lived alone with no one but his brother for nearly his entire life.

Taemin’s room isn’t too hard to locate, being one left turn away from the main hall that connects to the lobby apparently gives him a bit of bragging rights on scoring a spot where he doesn’t have to deal with stairs. Jongin had once made a joke out of it, mumbling something along the lines of “You can also brag about being the first to die during an earthquake, if you want”

Kyungsoo really needs to stop thinking of Jongin.

Taemin knocks a few times once they arrive by the door and Kyungsoo doesn’t really know why he’s knocking nor who to expect when the knob finally twists, opening to reveal a face he doesn’t recognize. He silently prays that he isn’t forgetting anyone of Jongin’s friends to save him the embarrassment; he really just couldn’t recall meeting this man who is currently smiling down at him and inviting him inside Taemin’s quarters. Are they even in the right room?

“Friend of yours?” The man speaks, and the baker notes the low timbre of his voice.

“You could say that, he’s Jongin’s man to be more specific.”

While the two converse Kyungsoo takes a moment to skim his eyes over the room, noting how strangely neat it is. It’s a good thing of course, but he’s just never imagined Taemin to be the type to organize his notebooks by size and arrange his bed after he wakes up. The magazine clippings on the wall though, now that seems to fit his personality more precisely.

“Your room is very neat.” The baker says, voicing his thoughts out. Tall lanky man with big eyes responds with a snort however, earning him pointed glare from a Taemin who is crouched down stuffing a mini refrigerator with as much canned coffee as it would allow him to.

“You’re lucky to be here in this stink hole right when I’ve just finished cleaning it off.” Kyungsoo looks down at the hand extended in front of him “I’m Minho, personal babysitter of Lee Taemin.”

“Oh ha ha you,” Taemin says, slamming the fridge shut when three cans would no longer fit. He proceeds to plop himself down on his bed and pop one open “He’s my boyfriend”

“O-oh you two are-“

“ing? Yes.”

Kyungsoo blushes, unused to the frankness “I didn’t mean that…” He mumbles, the tall guy- Minho as he had called himself, Lets out a hearty laugh while patting him on the back (a little too hard).

“Man how is Jongin going to survive with an innocent one?”

“Dude you’re asking all the wrong questions, how is he going to stay innocent with someone like Jongin?”

“He’s been very good to me.” Kyungsoo butts in, hoping to steer the spotlight away from himself.

“Well then his self-control is A+, I’d give him that.”

“Jesus Taem you’re scaring him.”

“Nonsense he always looks scared, I mean look at him.”

The smallest blinks his eyes several times in confusion. Minho does as he’s told and takes moment to examine his features, tilting his head to one side and nodding in silent agreement. “Kind of” he mumbles and Kyungsoo can only avoid his scrutinizing gaze by staring intently at his own shoes like he’s so used to doing around other people.

Taemin tilts his head back to down half of his canned coffee before wiping his mouth with the colar of his shirt like the hygienic man he is.  Kyungsoo can now kind of see why Jongin would never trust his life in the hands of future Doctor Taemin.

“Speaking of Jongin, are you here to see him?”

“Yeah, He left his phone in his house so…I couldn’t really get a hold of him…”

“So I heard. I texted him this morning begging for the answers to the test he took ahead of me and all I got in response was Lee Taemin stop copying off from my baby brother or I’m going to dye your hair pink.”

“Would you happen to know if he’s in his room right now? I don’t know where else to look.”

“You got a date?”

I wish it was that simple “Something like that. But it’s important.”

“Okie dokie. I can’t say I know where he is though, haven’t really had the time to see him. Have you min?”

“No, I’ve been stuck here cleaning your junk if you don’t remember.”

“Ah the things we do for love.”

Minho rolls his eyes at his own boyfriend’s silly antics before turning his attention towards Kyungsoo who is now beginning to feel a little worried. “If you’d like I could accompany you up to his room and we can see if he’s there.”

The smaller looks up at him with a look of gratitude “Please? I really need to see him today.”

“Come on let’s go have a look. You coming?”

Minho looks towards Taemin, who apparently has already sprawled himself across his own bed, looking drowsy despite the can of caffeine he’s just chugged down. He lazily lifts a hand in the air to wave them off and bid them farewell “Go, go on without me.” He says, albeit a bit too theatrically.

“Don’t ask why I’m dating him I wouldn’t know either.” The tallest comments as they exit the room, and despite the annoyance on his face, there’s no malice in his words and Kyungsoo can tell that it’s nothing but a lighthearted joke.

They make their way to Jongin’s room in silence, climbing a few flights of stairs till they reach the third floor where Kyungsoo spots a few familiar faces like that Xiumin guy from way back during their Christmas eve party at the studio. They walk a little further down, making a couple of turns until they reach the right door that has a cute little vandal of what seems to be a poodle with a dialogue saying woof!

Minho wastes no time, lightly knocking with the back of his fist and waiting patiently for a response.

For the first minute or two they stand there, rewarded with nothing but silence and the occasional laughter from someone on the phone at the end of the hall. The taller sticks his ear against the door on his second attempt, listening for any sign of movement from the inside. Sadly, he looks to Kyungsoo with a frown and a shake of his head, hearing nothing.  

“I guess he’s not home…” he mumbles, and at the mention of this Kyungsoo himself sticks his own ear against the door, his heart dropping a little when he similarly hears nothing.

Just then the door to the left creeks open and both their heads turn towards a sleepy looking Park Chanyeol, clad in nothing but a pair of sweatpants barely covering up the band of his boxers. Uncaring, the said boy slips his hand down the waistband and scratches in areas Kyungsoo would rather not care to look at. When he finally pries one of his eyes open to regard the two boys staring at him rather strangely, he shifts his gaze repeatedly back and forth between them and the door to Jongin’s room, trying to process everything in his sleep induced state.

“Kyungsoo…” He croaks out, voice hoarse “Are you two looking for Jongin?”

Minho is quick to answer “Yeah, did he head out?”

“Uhuh” The lanky boy yawns and pats his hair down as if to tame it in its current, wild state of being “Just this morning? I think. Jongin’s always so noisy when he moves around I can hear him slamming his door through the walls, it’s crazy. Have you tried calling him?”

“Kyungsoo has.”

“He left his phone at his sister’s place.” The smaller provides.

“Typical.”

“Uhm, Do you, perhaps, know where he’s gone off to?”

Kyungsoo fiddles with the hem of his shirt hoping to get an answer, otherwise he wouldn’t really know where else to go nor who else to ask about the matter.

Chanyeol furrows his brows deep in thought, opening and closing his mouth uncertainly.

It takes a while before his final answer comes, and much to the baker’s disappointment, the best he could offer is a meager shake of his head and a shrug of his shoulders, “Not a clue.” He says, followed by a muttered apology.

Of all the days, Kyungsoo thinks while nodding his head once in acknowledgement, biting his lip at the internal debate currently going on in his head, half of his mind insisting that the tanned boy’s absence must be some sort of sign that today just isn’t the day, while the other half believes that he should keep on looking. The anxiety and pressure is killing him from the inside and he’s afraid he might die even before he could even utter a word.

“Have you tried Krys’ place?” Minho suggests, watching Chanyeol drag himself back inside his room only to reemerge with water dripping down his chin and a toothbrush shoved up his mouth.

“He could be there.” The tallest garbles through his foamy mouth, “And if he isn’t I’m pretty sure Krystal would know wherever the hell he is.”

Kyungsoo’s hand subconsciously flies to his stomach as though he could actually feel the butterflies flutter. Though he doubts it’s the same kind of flutter he gets around Jongin, no, definitely not the same. These feel more like moths, buzzing around in his stomach wreaking havoc and planting fear.

He’s not really sure if wants Krystal to know that today is the day, he wants this confrontation to be something between him and Jongin alone. It didn’t feel right to have someone waiting for a result, like they had placed some kind of bet and the tanned boy was merely a playing piece to their game. No, this was something Jongin deserved, Jongin deserved the truth. It’s neither for Krystal nor for himself, it’s for Jongin. Honest, lovely, and kind Jongin who’s been nothing but wonderful to Kyungsoo. 

So with these thoughts in mind, the baker shakes his head politely with a smile “Thanks for your help, I’ll keep looking.”

The two hardly have any time to respond before Kyungsoo is already running past them towards the staircase, “Tell Taemin I said thank you!” he yells over his shoulder, Miho raising his hand in acknowledgement while Chanyeol stares at down at the toothpaste stains on the floor.

It’s only when he’s back to swishing through the puddles outside when Kyungsoo realizes that he doesn’t even know where to begin to look. He stops on his tracks, panting slightly at the sudden rush of adrenaline that had coursed through him. In his mind he tries to create a list, a list of places arranged from Most likely he’d be here to If I’m lucky he’d happen to be here.

If written down, it would appear something like this:

Hongdae University Dorms

Everywhere else

***

As of 6 pm in the evening, the updated list is as appears bellow:

Hongdae University Dorms

University campus

The line of shops right outside the campus

The bakery

Train Station

Hongdae shopping district

The café they went to on their first date

Everywhere else

As of 6pm in the evening, Kyungsoo is tired, and Jongin is still missing.

The baker feels like he’s flipped the entire city over and yet there’s still no sign nor trace of any Kim Jongin anywhere, his search ending in vain. He rests his head against the window of the taxi, eyes trained on the familiar roads they drive past as he lets out a defeated sigh. He wants to close his eyes, lose himself in sleep even if it were just for this short ride back home. However, he restrains himself from doing so, afraid that he would miss even the quickest glimpse of Jongin, just in case they happened to pass him by along the way.

This is how it occurs to him how desperate he actually is to just get this stupid ing secret out of his own system. His legs are tired from walking around and his arms are sore from holding an umbrella up, but more than anything his mind and heart feel like they’ve been running marathons. Times like these he wishes he could just ask whatever god existed why? Why him?

But of course, they never give him an answer. It just is what it is.

By the time they’re driving  along the street he’s walked down so many times before, passing by rows and rows of houses he's come to be reasonably au fait with, the cab driver takes a glance through his rear view mirror with a look that's a cross between curiosity and pity. Apparently Kyungsoo's foul mood is hanging around him like a dark cloud above his head, his gloomy aura hard to ignore based on occassional worried looks thrown at him from the driver's seat. 

“Rough day kid?” The old man says in an effort to voice out his concern. Kyungsoo can only look at him in surprise, taken off guard at the sudden break of silence. So much so that he barely finds the voice to respond with a soft Yeah.

The cab driver hums in understanding, hitting the breaks to let a group of children run across the street. “We all have those kinda days kid. We've all been through it.” He says, Kyungsoo resists the urge to uncharacteristically spit out a sarcastic I doubt it. “There’s still tomorrow to get things right, aye?”

The car speeds up once more, and at the back Kyungsoo merely nods his head wordlessly.

He appreciates the effort given into lightening the mood, even if doesn’t do him much comfort. He's never understood why people think it's relieving to hear that others have "been through the same" or that others "understand you completely" because he very well knows that others don't? There's no such thing as an "exact" same experience, different people see through different lenses, different people create different subjective realities. Kyungsoo doubts that anyone knows what his reality feels like, he doubts that anyone's "been through days" when they had to wake up in the morning, stare at their hands and feet tell them to behave today. 

But then again words of comfort are words of comfort, and to him the simple act of reaching out is comfort enough. As cliche as it may sound, it's the thought that counts so he chooses not to let his mood get the best of him. Besides, he still finds himself repeating the kind man’s words in his head, somehow trying to convince himself that there’s still tomorrow to see Jongin right?

There’s still tomorrow…

“Where do I pull up kid?” Kyungsoo blinks, having been drawn out of yet another one of his musings. Without even looking out the window he describes his house the way he’s all too used to doing.

The cab driver takes a minute to look through the ones lined along the sidewalk till he makes a sound of recognition. Assuming he’s spotted their destination Kyungsoo stuffs his phone into his pocket and takes a glance at the meter for his payment, hoping he has enough money left jammed in his wallet.

The man’s next words catch him by surprise however, causing him to whip his head in the direction of his house, just when they pull up by the curb.

“It’s that one with the boy and pup?”

Boy and pup?

Upon the mention of a boy, Seungsoo is the first person that crosses Kyungsoo’s mind and he could only hope that this mentioned ‘pup’ isn’t some sort of desperate attempt at a peace offering.

But what he doesn’t expect to find is the lean figure of a tall boy who appears to be playing fetch with not just one, but two fidgety pups that are running around his front yard. Once the cab driver pulls up front, the poodles, as he can now identify, bark repeatedly at the halted car. At this the mystery boy finally turns around, revealing a face Kyungsoo’s been searching around for the entire day.

He barely suppresses a whimper, quickly handing the cab driver his bill before rushing out and taking big and quick strides towards the boy who now wears a charming smile that’s apparently meant for him.

“We have to stop meeting like this.” Jongin says, tilting his head and wrinkling his nose endearingly. And the only coherent response the smaller could think of is a sharp intake of breath followed by a soft whisper of his name.

The two dogs continue to bark incessantly for attention that Jongin is all too glad to give, carrying them both in his arms with a sweet little smile and an adoring spark in his eyes. Kyungsoo watches it all in slight awe, as though Jongin standing in front of him right now, looking incredibly attractive in something as simple as a grey tee and jeans, is just too good to be true. Searching for the tanned boy felt like chasing a dream, but now he’s right here, right at his doorstep looking even better than one. Kyungsoo has to blink, many many times.

A comfortable silence fills the night air, nothing but the sound of crickets and Jongin’s strange dog talk to break it. Kyungsoo’s eyes fall on the two pooches currently smothering his boyfriend’s face with dog slobber and suddenly he’s taken back to the memory of barks in the background of late night phone calls and it instantly occurs to him that these, in fact, are Kim Jongin’s so called kids.

“Never trust someone who talks to their dogs normally” The taller mumbles after a good minute or two, puckering his lips at the pup to his left while the one to his right is whining for attention.

“I didn’t know you were here.” Jongin’s private bubble with his ‘kids’ is momentarily popped when Kyungsoo manages to snap out of his state of shock, speaking slowly and softly as though the slightest raise of his voice would cause the other to erupt into fairy dust and end his supposed daydream. Luckily, Jongin is as real as he can get, judging the way he bites his lip out of nervous habit (would've been a nape scratch but he's carrying two muts) like no possible daydream could recapture.

“I called you, but you-“

“-left my phone at my sister’s?” Jongin cuts him off, well aware of his own forgetfulness “I know. I guess I left it this morning when I came to pick up the kids“ he clears his throat, coughing a few times (startling the poor pups) before straightening his stance. “I just thought, well, since you couldn’t come to my place the first time around, I thought it would be a good idea to maybe bring a part of my place to you? Though it would seem... that my timing is terrible yet again, no one was home ahah, did Seungsoo hyung go out?”

"I don't know." Kyungsoo mumbles, staring at him barely able to register his own thoughts.

I thought it would be a good idea to maybe bring a part of my place to you .

“So uhm.” the tanned boy begins again, feeling a bit uneasy at the other’s unresponsiveness “...This here is Monggu, and this angel is Jjangah, I left Jjangu at home because honestly she kind of put in too much weight the last time I saw her it felt like carrying a sack of rice…”

The taller continues to ramble on about his dog adventures and what not but Kyungsoo hardly even pays attention, his heart too moved by just how perfect Jongin can be. After he’s practically ditched him on the night of his grand introduction to the Kim family, here the boy is, exerting unnecessary effort to somehow ‘make it up’ to him even though it’s quite obvious that Kyungsoo is the one who has some ‘making up’ to do.

His heart is suddenly overwhelmed with emotions that he doesn’t even know how he thought he could do this, how he thought he could tell Jongin that he’s been hiding a part of himself this whole time, how he thought that he could tell him that his bestfriend is supposed to be dead, how he thought he could tell him so many things that are sure to wipe away that beautiful smile from his face in no more than a split second.

Apparently he’s overestimated himself and underestimated the situation.

“…they’re all toy poodles but honestly sometimes they-

...Kyungsoo?”

In the next minute the smaller is half-laughing and half-sobbing against Jongin's shoulder, arms wrapped tightly around his neck while the dogs struggle, sandwiched against two warm bodies that fit a perfectly together. Stunned, Jongin tries to take a peak of Kyungsoo’s expression, his lips grazing over the other’s ear effectively nuzzling the smaller’s temple.  “What’s wrong?” he whispers, breath warm and comforting in contrast to the cold night air.

I’m wrong Jongin. Eveerything about me is wrong. Kyungsoo wants to say, but he knows better than to spill it all out here, in such an unexpected place and time. So instead he pulls back, clearing his throat and smiling in a way that he hopes does not reflect any of the worry or pain he feels.

Jongin’s eyes are still trained on him when he cautiously reaches out to scratch Monggu behind the ear, so he makes sure to compose himself, blocking away thoughts of what may possibly become of this night in hopes of masking the dread he feels.

“Hey there, Monggu.” His says hoping to fool the other into thinking he’s alright “Hey boy, have you come to visit me?”

Said dog flinches, as though even he were aware of the danger in Kyungsoo’s touch. He tries not to think much of it, smoothing his palm over Monggu's brown curls till he's rewarded with an experimental sniff, the dog looking up to his master for a nod of approval.

Though worry is still evident in Jongin’s expression, the sight of Monggu gradually getting accustomed to Kyungsoo’s soft warms his heart and has the corner of his lips twitching up in a smile. What could be better than seeing two things you love in one picture? Watching Kyungsoo ruffle their fur and hearing him laugh at the their constant drooling does strange things to his heart making him feel like he should be getting down on one knee. 

"Note to self, No more surprise visits." 

"I can't trust you with that note when you couldn't even remember to take your phone with you." 

"Philosophically speaking that's a falacious argument, an accident to be more accurate."

"Don't get smart with me."

On that note Kyungsoo decides that they’ve been standing outside long enough, the blanket of grey clouds still heavy above them despite the rain having stopped an hour or two ago. Making his way to his front steps, he silently ushers Jongin to follow suit and bring along his little curly haired minions. The other more than gladly does so, and with each step they take closer to the house Kyungsoo feels reality slowly dawn on him. As much as he wishes to just call this any other date with Jongin, there are things that need to be said and deals that are meant to be kept. He entrusts this night to the hands of fate. 

Unlocking the door, he opens it wide in invitation.

“Come inside.”

Accepting the offer, Jongin makes his way up the front steps and into the warmth of Kyungsoo’s residence, the pitter patter of paws against wooden floors the last sound Kyungsoo hears before he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

Taking one last look outside, he braces himself.

I'm going to tell him. I'm going to tell him everything.

A/N: So yeah, double update for you as a Happy New Year gift from me! Honestly i was aiming for a tripple update but i'm just not that fast pmsl even these chapters feel a bit half-baked to me. Anyway, I just want to say thank you for riding along this rollercoaster of a fic that i've started on the year 2015 <3 I never really knew i'd get this far with this one, I didn't think it would appeal to some so I'm flattered and grateful people enjoy the silly things i imagine in my mind while sitting in my bedroom and staring blankly at a wall. I know it's far from all the other beautiful fics out there, with unique ideas, incredible detail, vivid characters and such but i can at least say that this fic is mine. this fic is like my first born child lol, i've struggled with the plot, the characters, the writing, the everything. But to have read the wonderful comments at the end of the day, no matter how few, makes it so worth the struggle <3 I'll work hard to bring out better quality for you this year!!! Happy new year !! I hope youre all smiling and having a great day <3