It’s well past eleven in the evening when Kyungsoo’s tears have finally run out, when his voice finally returns to him after hours of nothing but choked sobs. He sits by the glass windows of the bakery, watching the last of the stores lined along the same road close up, metal shutters being pulled down and neon signs being shut off leaving nothing but the street lamps to illuminate his own shop. A warm cup of tea placed in front of him draws him out of his own reverie and he looks to his side to find Sehun taking a seat beside him with a mug of coffee at hand, one that he clearly needs judging by the creases on his forehead and the bags underneath his eyes. Kyungsoo feels partly responsible for his current state of exhaustion.

 “Tired?”

“Used to it.”

“You can take the day off today if you need to.”

“You don’t look too good yourself, I’d rather you hit the hay. We still have enough pastries to go around for another day or two.”

“I’d rather not, I kind of need the distraction. But I’ll probably go home in a while, for a change of clothes. Seungsoo hyung’s been blowing up my inbox…”

“I would too if I were him. Drink your tea it will help you relax.”

The smaller does as he’s told while Sehun takes a sip from his own mug of coffee. 

Kyungsoo sticks the warm side of his cup over his cheek, a subconscious habit of his during cold days.  It was a habit momentarily broken last winter, if only because there was Jongin around to rub his tanned, calloused hands together before placing them gently over the baker’s cheeks. Better? He would ask, and Kyungsoo would respond with a nod accompanied by a squished smile.

The memory has him briefly smiling to himself, only to later realize that Jongin is not here, and that the warmth against his cheek is nothing but a cup of freshly brewed tea. He places it back down, his smile quickly disappearing as the air suddenly feels cooler than ever.  

“Maybe now is a good time?” Sehun comments after his third sip of coffee.

“Good time for what?”

The youngest places his mug down, turning towards the other wearing a serious expression. “A good time to tell me what exactly happened back there.”

Kyungsoo tightens his grip on his cup, fighting the wave of tears threatening to spill down once more.

“Hyung, please tell me. Please.”

“…I…I made a deal with Krystal.”

Sehun’s posture straightens, the boy intent to listen in on every single detail now that the older’s finally decided on sharing that morning’s events “What kind of deal?” he asks.

“Well I…I promised her that I’d tell Jongin, tell him everything.”

“About your powers?”

Kyungsoo cringes “Please don’t call it that, It’s not like I’m some sort of superhero.”

“Sorry, just used it for the lack of term.”

The older merely shakes his head and lets out an audible sigh “I was bound to tell him someday right?” he mumbles, almost as if her were talking to himself. “I just- I just wanted it to be in my own time and pace…certainly not like this”

“You think he’d take it well?”

“Jongin? I hope he will.” Kyungsoo feels his heart constrict in pain at the thought of the opposite outcome. “If he doesn’t, I promised Krystal I’d let him go.”

“You WHAT?!”

The baker jolts a bit in surprise at the other’s sudden outburst. He whips his head in Sehun’s direction only to find the latter staring at him incredulously, obviously displeased. “Hyung you can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“You said it yourself, Jongin is not a prize, You don’t get to decide who he stays with”

“You wouldn’t understand. A deal is a deal, Sehun.”

“But you can’t just give him away like that!”

“I’m not giving him away, he’s practically making the choice himself.”

“I thought you loved him, is it really that easy for you?!”

I thought you loved him?

The youngest’s statement pushes on some of the wrong buttons, causing Kyungsoo to finally snap. And when he does, there it is again, fresh warm tears cascading down his cheeks just when he’s thought he’s cried out the entire 70% of liquid in his body.

“Oh Sehun, What makes you think I don’t?!” he exclaims, a little louder than necessary “I do love Jongin! I love him so much and this is never easy for me, nothing has ever been easy for me, from the day I was god damn born with this stupid…stupid thing I can do! People have left because of this, people have left for good, and it never fails to hurt so much.” His fists clench and his brows furrow, nothing but his own raw emotions driving him on,

“ Now if Jongin can’t accept this side of me, this bizarre, unusual Do Kyungsoo who can ‘resurrect the dead and kill with a single touch’, then what use is holding on to him? How is it possible for him to continue loving me? To pretend that we’re both completely in love when in reality he’s just turning his back towards who I really am? If he can’t accept it then everything will fall apart on its own. I won’t wait for that, Sehun. I’m letting him go whether you, or anyone else approves of it or not. It’s a much lesser pain than spending the rest of our relationship together watching him look at me as though I wasn’t even human!”

Pause. Silence.

When he finishes, his breath is ragged and quick.

The frustration and adrenaline inside of him had turned his mouth into a gun shooting out words like bullets. Now that he’s out of ammo, all that’s left for him to do is angrily wipe away the tears, even after they’ve long stopped spilling.

Sehun, on the other hand, falls silent.

Absolutely no room was left for questions or objections. When Kyungsoo is determined to do something, Sehun’s learned that he’ll do it. He’ll do it for as long as he sees that it’s the best for everyone, even if it means being the best for everyone BUT himself. Krystal is the living, breathing proof of that.

So now all he can do is cradle his head in his hands and wonder, just wonder, how his hyung manages to stay sane through all these complications. Because despite being the youngest, he feels as though the tips of his hair are already going grey with all that’s been happening.

“He better ing react accordingly or I’m going to kill him myself.” The youngest comments in a low mummble “maybe ask you to revive him, just so I could kill him a second time.”

Kyungsoo opens his mouth to say something but Sehun already beats him to it “I’m kidding.”

The baker shuts his mouth, sniffing once before dropping his gaze to his lap where he fiddles with the hem of his jacket. (The layers and layers and layers of Krystal’s clothing he had on earlier having been left in the car)

“Okay, fine. On to other matters.” Sehun says through a sigh “You touched Krystal.”

“Yes.”

“And you two were the only ones around?”

“Positive”

“So who died? In exchange for that ?”

“Sehun!”

“Fine, who died in place of Krystal” The youngest rolls his eyes, Kyungsoo could only sink back in his seat.

“I don’t know…I’m pretty sure I didn’t see anyone from a mile away. I walked around the perimeter a few times.”

“That’s so weird…”

Sehun bites his lip in deep contemplation. For as long as he can remember the other’s abilities have never been on any level of controllable, be it on plants, animals, or most likely even on humans. The last part they haven’t tested out enough to know much about, after all, up to this date Kyungsoo’s only managed to touch three lifeless human bodies: his mother’s, the body specimen in the university, and Krystal’s.  It wouldn’t be hard to track whose life was for whose.

The most unfortunate exchange was definitely his father’s for his mother’s.

The news of a random nursing student found dead in one of the female laboratories of the Hongdae University had not gone unnoticed either, Kyungsoo having felt immensely sorry for the woman the minute he had overheard the flash report (which allegedly claimed it was due to a seizure).

The question now is,

Krystal’s life…in exchange for whose?

A thought suddenly crosses the youngest’s mind.

But just when he’s about to voice out his thoughts, the chime of the bakery doors interrupt.

“You’re here.”

A third party comes into the picture and in the darkness of the room the two have to squint their eyes and crane their necks forward slightly in order to catch a clear glimpse of the person who they later realize is Luhan. The said boy is breathless, seeming to have ran all the way here in some sort of rush. He closes the door and hesitantly takes a step forward, but a step is as far as Sehun lets him go, the maknae standing from his seat with his fists clenched and his teeth gritting, looking very unpleased to see the latter. The atmosphere grows thick and tense between the two, something Kyungsoo will never in a million years get used to.

“Luhan hyung…” the baker mutters.

“Oh Kyungsoo,” Luhan is just about to make his way towards him, fully ready to envelop the smaller in a hug already spilling out a plethora of apologies when suddenly Sehun is standing in front of him, preventing him from getting any closer.

“Now you show up?”

“Sehun please,”

“I’m surprised you even remembered to come see how we’re doing” the youngest’s words are full of spite and it makes Kyungsoo cringe a bit at how unnatural it sounds directed towards his doe eyed hyung, the only person who Sehun is normally so gentle with.

“Sehun-ah, it’s okay.” He tries to mutter, but it’s no use.

“It’s not okay, why don’t you go run along to your boyfriend and-“

His words cut of, catching in his throat when he’s suddenly speechless at the sight before him.

Amidst his complaints Luhan had stepped forward, out of the shadows and under the dim light that seeped through the store windows and oh, did Sehun and Kyungsoo’s heart shatter.

The oldest looked wrecked. Bruises and cuts adorned his face, scattered all over from his cheek to his neck, a patch of dried blood covering up a scratch on his lower lip.  The one that seemed have taken the worst hit was his left eye, it was swelling and blue, so blue it nearly looked black.

Sehun’s anger flew out the window as quickly as it had came, his expression contorting into one of worry and pain as his voice could no longer form any coherent words. So instead he lets out a whimper and shakily reaches his hands out towards the love of his life, watching him wince upon the contact of his fingers against his cheeks. Kyungsoo follows suit and stands up quickly from his place, landing a careful hold on Luhan’s arm and looking up at him with concern.

“What the hell happened to you?” he half exclaimes half cries out in worry, Luhan swallowing and doing as much as he can to avoid the other two’s gazes.

 “Kris wouldn’t let me borrow his car.” The oldest’s eyes lift up to meet Sehun’s, his words somehow only meant to reach the other, supposedly considering that Kyungsoo knows nothing of this Kris man. “I tried Sehun, I tried so hard.”

When the youngest reaches out to embrace him, Luhan wonders why he doesn’t ask the whys, the whens, and the hows. He wonders why he doesn’t ask how Kris had raised his voice at him when he insistently tried to leave, or how Kris had blown the punch to his eye when he had stubbornly taken the keys from the businessman’s drawer and marched to the door, how even more blows had rained down on him when he finally decided that he was done with this make believe relationship he seemed to have painted differently in his mind. How he had come to the decisions that his friends are worth so much more than the lavish lifestyle that Kris has to offer.

He wonders why the feeling of Sehun’s arms wrapped around his broken body and the sound of his heartbeat loud against his ear is infinitely more comfortable than any of Kris’ luxuriously soft duvets and robes.

“Well this is one hell of a night isn’t it?” Kyungsoo comments out of the blue, an ironic smile plastered on his lips as he exchanges looks of understanding with Sehun.

“I-I’m s-so s-s-s-sorry-y- Ky-Kyung-“ Luhan stutters out, fists clenched tightly against Sehun’s shirt as he practically smothers his face against the youngest’s chest.

“Hey now, You’re okay” Kyungsoo says in a gentle tone, fitting himself into the arm that Sehun outstretches, effectively creating a big warm group hug that all three of them agree they need at the moment.

“I love you both.” He whispers, in both his heart and mind.

Somewhere on the table Kyungsoo’s phone lies forgotten. It vibrates with a message from a  certain tanned boy who is but a train ride away, staring up at his star covered ceiling.

Goodnight. I love you.

From: Jongin

***

It’s been five solid days since Kyungsoo’s last spoken to Jongin. It would seem that the said boy is still harboring bitter feelings towards the baker for his disappearing act the other night and Kyungsoo didn’t blame him really. Despite the circumstance he was under back then, he still did manage to sense how excited Jongin had sounded over the phone. But the thing is, he didn’t have the heart to take such a major step as meeting his family when Jongin didn’t know everything there was to know about him.

He would have to know soon, Kyungsoo convinces himself, absent-mindedly staring at the poorly baked pie he had just finished. His heart isn’t in to it today so he sighs, pushing the pastry aside and taking out what’s necessary to redo it.

The current situation between him and Jongin is very much the same with him and his brother.

He and Seungsoo are still not on speaking terms. It doesn’t help that they rarely saw each other back when they were getting along just fine, more so now that they’ve built this gigantic wall between them. Kyungsoo  comes home  as late as possible, and on bad days he doesn’t even come home at all. With some sort of cold war going on between them it’s hard to believe that they’re same the Do siblings who have supposedly depended on each other for their entire lives.

It’s looking bad, their relationship, but of course, the love is still there somehow, shown in their most simple of actions. At  the end of the day they’re still brothers, and both siblings continue take care of each other the way they normally do. Seungsoo still cooks dinner when its necessary and Kyungsoo still cleans the older’s room when he’s out, they take turns washing the dishes and doing the laundry. Seungsoo would always remember to hang a coat by the doorway and line Kyungsoo’s favorite pair of sneakers just before he hits the hay at night.

On the flip side of things we have Luhan and Sehun, who have been making great progress with their relationship. It warms Kyungsoo’s heart to see them back to how they had always been, the best of friends, and now maybe even more than that. Although they haven’t really taken it a step further, he can sense in the way Sehun looks after the eldest that he’s definitely made room in his heart for forgiveness. Luhan hasn’t given the details of what had happened that night but he simply reassures his friends that it’s all done. Kyungsoo asks no further, keeping his image of obliviousness and leaving the prying to Sehun. He smiles at the thought that at least one thing in his life is going right.

During this period and time of people ignoring each other and silence being preferred over chatter, not much happens. Kyungsoo constantly switches between rehearsing how to tell Jongin his secret in every possible scenario he could think of and piecing together the mystery of who died in Krystal’s place. He’s not progressing so well in either of the fields.

It’s on their eight day of zero-contact that Jongin walks into the bakery on a rainy spring evening. Kyungsoo is by the counter when he comes, smilling awkwardly at his boyfriend who could only do the same.

“Just…came by to study a bit.” Jongin mumbles while scratching his nape.

Kyungsoo prays that his next words don’t come out as a whimper because God, he misses him.

“Oh, Do you want anything to eat?”

“No, I’m good.”

“Feel at home then” the smaller says with a smile, ducking his head and returning to the book he’s been reading while Jongin leisurely takes his usual spot by the window and begins an evening filled with terms of surgical anatomy. He leaves that day with nothing but a murmured goodbye, but to Kyungsoo it’s more than enough, better than nothing.

After that night they somehow manage to gradually ease back to their practice of staple goodmorning, goodnight and how are you texts, and on the eleventh day, Jongin comes back asking for some iced coffee. Kyungsoo serves it to him without a second’s delay and it’s then that the tanned boy takes the opportunity to purposely trace his finger over the baker’s hand, his touch lingering long enough to let their eyes meet. In that moment, Kyungsoo’s wide round orbs seem to convey a thousand apologies, while Jongin’s own hold no words. How could they when they can barely be seen, squinted into two half-moons accompanied by a blindingly bright smile?

“Guess I’ll have to show off my driving skills another time huh?”  he says. It’s enough to let a bubble of soft laughter erupt from Kyungsoo’s lips, warmth radiating in his heart at the thought that finally, the tension in the air between them is lifted. Jongin leaves the bakery that day with a kiss to the smaller’s cheek and a promise to visit again soon.

And Visit again he does, for several consecutive days after that for a moment Kyungsoo nearly forgets about his little deal with Krystal, too lost in his world of falling in love with Jongin all over again.  

It isn’t until the woman comes marching in the bakery, with her arm casually linked around the tanned boy’s, laughing away at some inside joke, that the baker is reminded of their agreement.

“Come sit with us,” Jongin offers him with a toothy grin, but he knows all too well that it’s not the permission he needs, eyes nervously flicking towards Krystal as she smiles sweetly at him.

“Yeah why don’t you join us?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head and politely refuses reasoning that he has an order he needs to rush on, completely leaving out the truth that Krystal’s hand is hovering threateningly close to his underneath the table. He scurries off to the back of the shop, failing to ignore the way Jongin compliments the ballerina for her newly dyed black hair.

He silently works on plenty of excess and unnecessary batches of cupcakes that afternoon, thinking and rethinking of how he could possibly make his ability sound less…weird. It frustrates him to a point that he couldn’t even get the very basic of icings right, nothing but a pair of arms wrapping around his waist around an hour and a half later is able to surprise him out of his own trance. “You’re working hard.” A deep voice whispers against his ear, Kyungsoo doesn’t even have to look all the way back to recognize who it belongs too. He dreams about this voice too much not to recognize it.

“Jongin,” he says, hoping he hasn’t been thinking out loud in any way because this is definitely not how he wanted to confess “You scared me.”

“If that means I’ve managed to breach your workhorse trance then, yay me.” The taller grins cheekily, not moving any further even when Kyungsoo practically wiggles in place to turn around and come face to face with him…or rather face to chin.

“I see you and Krystal have solved things out.”

“It’s great isn’t it? I don’t know what got into her before, but at least she’s talking a little more sensible this time” Jongin’s grin only grows wider and Kyungsoo does his best to return the smile trying not to let it come out as a grimace. Did hearing about my ability sound senseless to you? He wanted to ask, but of course, his lips were sealed. “I guess I have you to thank for this. I mean, I’m still upset you didn’t come over to my place, but in a way that coincidentally gave me the opportunity to fix things up with Krys….You’re a real lucky charm aren’t you.” Jongin leans low to fondly press his cheek against his lover’s, Kyungsoo returning a half-attempt to press back with a mumbled I’m glad for you.

“Say, you haven’t told me why you didn’t show up? Was everything okay?”

I don’t know. Was everything okay?

“Everything was…everything was fine. I just- I’m sorry but I…I forgot. Seungsoo and I had a fight so a lot was on my mind.” Partially true, the baker tries to fend, after all, the white flags have yet to be waved for peace between him and his brother.

“Oh. Was it the same thing bothering you the night I came over?”

“You could say that…” Okay, 100% lie.

“May I know the jist of it?”

Kyungsoo hesitantly bites his lip in contemplation, opening his mouth with a story ready to be told when suddenly a thought crosses his mind.

This would be the perfect transition topic for his big reveal. He could open up to Jongin about the other night, talk about Tao, meaning he would talk about Seungsoo, and that would entail him to talk about his childhood, and that would further drive him to talk about the truth. He’s made a promise, he promised to tell everything, and what better way than to start from the very beginning? 

“Not today. But soon.” He says with an apologetic smile. Although he knows very well that he needs to figure out how soon is soon, because Krystal’s head popping through the doors only reminds him of the pressure he’s under.

“Jognog time to go, I’ve got class in five.” She says, lightly knocking as though Kyungsoo’s time with his own boyfriend is being monitored, like a prisoner on visiting hours, and apparently time’s up.

“I’ll be right there.” Jongin calls out, not noticing the tight lipped smile the woman throws him at the sight of his hands still firmly placed on Kyungsoo’s hips. The tanned boy leans his forehead against the baker’s, rubbing their noses together in the process as he whispers “Tell me next time okay?”

Kyungsoo is reminded of the night they stood on his front porch, foreheads linked, sweet smiles, gazes in love. So completely clueless and naïve of the complications that was to come. “Okay.” He whispers back, and as per usual he’s rewarded with a soft kiss to the lips before Jongin is well on his way to gather his things up and head back to the university. Krystal lingers inside the baker’s quarters a moment longer, if only to mutter something under her breath before taking her leave.

“The longer you take the harder it might be for him to accept, so if I were you I wouldn’t take too long.”

Truthfully Kyungsoo didn’t need to hear the words spill from her lips, her very presence alone was as good as a ticking time bomb, warning Kyungsoo of how much of a danger he can be to someone’s life. That he needed to tell Jongin before Krystal shows him herself.

Tomorrow he thinks. Soon is tomorrow.

***

Sehun is changing the bandage over Luhan’s finger because apparently it was fractured the night of his great escape in Kris’ luxurious flat. Krystal is sitting in their spot near the window of the shop while impatiently waiting for Jongin whose scurried off to the back to accompany Kyungsoo like he should. The two boys by the counter try their best to pay no mind to the constant foot and finger tapping going on in the said table, Sehun’s eyebrow twitching in annoyance as he relies heavily on Luhan’s pointed look to keep him under control.

“I want to shave her head too but we both know Kyungsoo won’t like it.” The older of the two comments loud enough for only the two of them to hear. Sehun doesn’t take his eyes off of the task at hand and wraps Luhan’s finger a second time around, for good measure.

“It’s just ing unfair. That can’t just-“

“Oh Sehun, Language.”

The youngest looks up with a challenging gaze. “That ,” he re-utters, earning him a look of judgment but no words of reprimand “can’t just bully hyung into doing what she wants. He ing gave her life back she should be kissing his feet right now.”

“Ow- ow ow- Sehunnie It’s too tight…” Luhan winces, Sehun seemingly getting carried away and tightening the bandages a tad bit too much. He mumbles an apology and proceeds to loosen it.

“I’m angry too. I don’t like what she did either.” The eldest replies after thanking him for the aid “But think about it Sehun, It’s not a promise he made to Krystal. It’s more like a promise he made to himself, the minute he agreed to fall in love again. We both knew that, didn’t we?”

Sehun thinks back to Kyungsoo and Jongin’s fated first date, when he had urged the smaller into the relationship himself, his own words fresh in his mind.

He doesn’t have to know how much of a weirdo you are just yet, maybe you should let him get to know you first, let him see how good of a person you are and maybe then it would be easier for him to accept such a tiny flaw in you.

“Sehun, he needs to tell Jongin. Whether Krystal tells him to or not, it can’t be a secret forever. Relationships are…” Luhan swallows, the next few words hitting a bit too close to the home run in his heart “are not supposed to be built on secrets.”

The youngest’s gaze is soft as he draws circles against the other’s wrist (where a bruise still shows), “Hyung, Luhan hyung, Did you…break up with that man?”

Luhan’s lower lip disappears between his teeth as he bites on it in hesitation, still not used to the fact that he’s exposed, everything he’s been doing, the betrayal, the dating, the two-timing, it’s all out in the open now. “How long have you known?”

“Quite a while. A bit after I confessed.”

“You must have hated me…”

“I never hated you. I liked you. For better or for worse.”

Luhan’s smile is full of regret.

“Sehun I’m a wreck,” he begins, low and whispered “I fell in love- I thought I fell in love with someone because- well because I wanted to be him. He was so successful, so rich, so handsome, so…so mysterious…and for some reason he asked me out. I was so happy I- I thought I could finally prove that after all my failed relationships I would get my fairy tale ending, my prince charming”

He lets out a huff, suddenly realizing how absurd it sounds out loud “But then things started to take a familiar turn. He never introduced me to his family, we only met during the night, he only took me to his flat and never to his actual house…I was so blinded by how much of a trophy guy I got that I never realized it was never any different than any of my past relationships. I was still the fool. And then you just had to come along and confess on Christmas eve and I thought I could get some sort of revenge, keep secrets from him too, but you’ve been such a sweetheart and-”

His eyes begin to water but he tries not to let the tears drop, managing to croak out the rest of his sentence in between hoarse chcukles, finishing up his speech “-and I don’t understand why you still like me”

Sehun turns his head to the noise of Krystal’s boots clacking against the tiled floor as she strides across the room towards the door leading to the back, knocking on it repeatedly and letting her impatience get the best of her. He rolls his eyes at this but immediately returns his attention to the worn-out beauty in front of him. “So did you break up with him?”

“Sehun-”

“God Just answer the god damn question” the younger interrupts, sounding cocky but only Luhan would know that there’s no real sass to his words.  

“…Yeah.” The older finally admits “Worst possible way for me to find out that he’s got terrible temper.” he laughs while daintily dabbing at the corner of his eyes.

Thankfully this time it’s not a laugh brought about by bitter thoughts or sarcasm, but rather one that’s genuine, a laugh so light and so…so Luhan-like it brings a wave of warmth to the Younger’s heart, because he’s missed that laugh. He’s missed it a lot.

“So he’s gone now?”

“He’s probably hopping clubs looking for his next bed boy… Though I doubt he’ll be able to find someone as cute as me anytime soon.” His laughs gradually turn into a fit of giggles, much to Sehun’s delight. Definitely the Luhan he’s come to know and love.

“So does this mean no more hiding?

can I officially date you?”

The laughing stops, it’s replaced by a bit of gurgling and stuttered nonsense.

The pink-haired, doe-eyed boy saw this question coming. He had seen it coming the minute this conversation had started, he had seen it coming the minute Sehun had started taking such good care of him, he had seen it coming when the younger was wrapping bandages around his swelling finger. And yet for some reason, for some reason he STILL finds himself caught in surprise, eyes blinking and mouth falling open speechless as though he doesn’t even know what expression to pull off. Which, he actually doesn’t.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” The youngest comments with a playful smirk on his lips that Luhan promptly smacks off with an exclaimed You could have at least been a little more romantic! Go learn from Jongin!

A certain tanned male side-eyes them curiously from where he fixes his things by the window, wondering if he’s misheard his name being called.

***

“Wait…did kyungsoo know all about this?”

“Yup”

“Wow. I’m surprised he hasn’t skinned me alive yet.”

“He had plans to.”

“Small but terrible he is.”

“Don’t worry, I couldn’t let him.”

A/N: See next chapter for author's note LOL #lazy