Seungsoo’s never been one to keep secrets, but when a time comes that it’s necessary, he feels like he’s an absolute boss at it.

He thinks he’s some Oscar award winning actor who gets away with any sort of suspicious behaviour, sneaking out during the wee hours of the morning like some badass teenage rebel who comes back just in time to discard his clothes reeking of alcohol. One probably wouldn’t be surprised if it’s later revealed that he sings his own cheesy background spy music or calls himself by strange code names. It’s all very silly but so far, he’s actually been quite good at it, keeping secrets I mean. He’s done a pretty good job hiding the fact that Tao had returned to Korea after his disappearance months ago.

But it isn’t until tonight, when he’s seated behind the wheel with Kyungsoo absent-mindedly staring out the window from the passenger’s seat next to him, tension hanging thick in the air between them, that he realizes maybe he’s no James Bond after all. Maybe rule number one of being an excellent secret keeper is to burn all evidence, and Tao’s letter was the one and only evidence he had. Yet there it was, held tightly in his little brother’s pale hands, mocking him.

Brilliant.

Neither of them had spoken to each other since Kyungsoo’s little discovery a while ago. The younger merely intended to lend his brother a pair of gloves before he left for this so called “emergency meeting” of his, dawn was pretty merciless with the cold after all. Little did he know rummaging through the elder’s desk would only end with him staring at a familiar name he had not seen in quite a long time now.

Huang Zitao the envelope read, Chinese characters scribbled across expertly in neat handwriting. Soon the gloves were long forgotten, buried somewhere underneath Seungsoo’s clutter as Kyungsoo carefully took out a one page letter with nothing more than a few sentence instructions. The only words that he could make sense of in his state of shock were Coming home, Soon, and Don’t tell Kyungsoo. He was mid-way downstairs when his eyes fell on the date it was sent, a good three to two weeks ago. A flight from Japan to Korea didn’t take too long, Kyungsoo knew, and if Tao had come as soon as he said he’d come…

“Hyung, Where are you going?” He asks, voice soft and hesitant from where he stood at the bottom of the stairs.

“I told you, work.” Seungsoo answers without prying his eyes away from the tangled contraption that was his scarf. He turns around to re-explain the rest but suddenly the words fail to escape his lips once his eyes fall on the folded white paper in Kyungsoo’s hands. He recognizes it almost immediately, visibly tensing before watching the younger’s expression turn sour.

“Hyung,” Kyungsoo asks, or rather demands, again after noticing that he wasn’t going to get an answer anytime soon, voice still calm with a hint of threat, “Where are you going.”

Seungsoo suddenly finds the tip of his sneakers quite interesting, unable to lift his gaze and meet eyes with the other. He swallows, letting the silence do all the talking. It takes a while for him to gather the courage to just look up, release a sigh, and admit defeat. “…Tao’s back.”

Those seemed to be the right magic words to say because it didn’t take long for Kyungsoo to brush past him, grab a coat and slip into a pair of sneakers before marching out the front door. Seungsoo stood frozen on his spot for a few solid seconds before the sound of a car door slamming shut had him jumping slightly. He closed his eyes and furrowed his brows, because this definitely was not supposed to happen. This, out of everything, was not supposed to happen.

But obviously there was no point arguing, not when he had no valid reason to be holding his brother in chains, none which he could mention at least.

Which is what brings us to where we started, with two, awkward boys sitting in awkward silence in an awkward little car in an awkward hour of the day.

It drives Seungsoo mad, not getting any sort of reaction from Kyungsoo. It’s one thing to be angry, another thing to be sad, but the thing is Kyungsoo is acting like he’s neither sad nor mad. He’s uttered not one word since they’ve left the house and it makes the older worry even more. Silence can be such a destructive thing after all. He sits there debating whether to break into a string of explanations and apologies or simply to leave the ticking time bomb that is Kyungsoo to explode in his due time.

Kyungsoo, on the other hand, seems to be completely zoned out. His eyes are set on the houses and buildings they drive past but his mind wanders to a day years back, a day when he stood by the hospital bed of a certain cat eyed boy with jet black hair sticking up in all directions, his sharp features made gentle by a young innocent smile. Kyungsoo vaguely remembers it, it’s been too long since he’s last thought of Tao.

Tao. Innocent, childish, and cheerful Tao, who could forget?

Yes, every memory of him had been temporarily stored somewhere within the recedes of Kyungsoo’s mind, but now that it's been tapped a series of flashbacks just flood him all at once. Images from way back to the first afternoon he had talked with the the boy who practiced wushu to those from the countless nights he had spent by that same boy's hospital bed were all still there. Tao was once a big part of Kyungsoo’s life after all, memories like those weren't easy to shove aside despite how badly he wanted to forget. Unfortunately, the day he had walked in to an empty ward to find that his closest and only friend had fled the country as soon as he was discharged was the most vivid memory of all.

Kyungsoo had tried everything, called him, checked his house, looked for him in all the places he knew but Tao was gone, leaving the poor lonely boy to crawl back into his shell of anti-socialness. (Thank God for 12^th grade and Luhan)

And as if Tao's disappearing act wasn't confusing enough for him, a year or so later he had finally received one simple e-mail in response to the hundreds he’d sent, and all it said was ‘I’m in Taiwan’. No more no less. Soon it became a pattern, each month Tao would respond with an email indicating where he was, I'm in China, Colorado, San Francisco, Canada, Germany, London...Kyungsoo stopped checking after Japan. It was just update after update, all the wheres and none of the whys or hows.

It didn’t explain much. The letter he read a few hours ago didn’t either. Pretty much nothing made sense when it came to Tao. At least nothing after he left.

The drive to the hotel isn't long, it's a good 20-30 minutes away, maybe even less considering the fact that it's o'clock in the morning and the entire city is asleep. However, sadly it's not fast enough for Seungsoo, who is currently speeding past his third stoplight that evening. Between him and Kyungsoo, he's never been the one to know how to handle silence. When their parents had died, it was him who stood in front of authorities, signed papers, talked to the police, talked to the teachers, and just interacted with people in general, all while Kyungsoo locked himself in his room for months.

He knows how to take control over most situations, but awkward and tense silences isn't one of them.

Even when the car pulls to a complete stop in the parking lot just outside an expensive and fancy looking hotel, Kyungsoo's gaze remains trained outside the window, his breath fogging the glass up from the inside. It isn't until Seungsoo clears his throat and takes the key out of the engine that the younger is pulled away from his own thoughts, shifting his gaze to stare at the glass revolving doors ahead of them. Neither of them speak for a while, the absence of the car engine's humming taking the silence to an entirely new level of unbearable.

“12^th floor, Room 365.” Seungsoo finally speaks up, his furrowed brows giving away just how much of a nervous knot he was at the moment. “He's not...He's not exactly expecting you...Listen Kyungsoo-”

“I know. I'm not supposed to be here.” Kyungsoo responds, his tone so hushed it's almost as if he didn't speak at all. “I just want to see him.”

“...I'm sure Tao has his reasons. Are you gonna ask him?”

The younger shakes his head wordlessly.

“Are you...gonna...ask me?”

Kyungsoo looks out the window, his thumb lazily drawing circles over his left thigh. That couldn't be a good sign, Seungsoo thinks to himself. It definitely isn't.

“Kyungsoo?”

When Kyungsoo finally turns his head to meet gazes with his brother, Seungsoo admittedly finds it hard not to reach out, cup his face, and just beg him to go to sleep. The younger looks absolutely exhausted, dark circles slowly forming underneath his eyes and his nose a little red and runny. It strikes him hard with guilt knowing that he's partly the reason behind Kyungsoo's distress.

The younger stares at him, face void of all emotion, his reply coming out as nothing more than a soft whisper “If I asked you, would you have answered?”

Then the car door opens, and soon, Kyungsoo is on the 12^th floor, in front of Room 365.

***

Tao lightly lifts the curtains aside as he stares intently at the city beneath him. Seoul is just as beautiful as he had left it.

His clutches his phone tightly in his hands and every now and then the screen would light up with a new notification, a message, an email, sometimes even a call that goes unanswered. Tao isn't in any mood to reply to any of them, for tonight he only intends to answer one message, one call, and so far it's the only one he hasn't received. He sighs when he checks for the nth time that night only to find that there was still no sign of life from Seungsoo.

He rechecks his message to him earlier that day and recalls the last call he made, sure enough he had not failed to mention that they were to meet today at dawn. Ever since he had left the hospital years ago none of his relationships with the people from Seoul seemed to last, he was left with one remaining connection and it was with his former bestfriend's older brother, for several complicated reasons. In a few days time, he'll be back in Anyang, and in a few months in Japan. He trains his gaze on the star filled sky above, loving how it appears the same as it always does from any corner of the world. One of the only consistencies in Tao's life at the moment.

Just as he gets up to make another call there's a knock on the door that causes him to roll his eyes and take a few long strides over. “Finally” he mumbles to himself, safely tucking away his phone into his back pocket, stepping over his half-upacked suitcase and reaching out to clasp the door knob before pressing his face against the peephole.

True enough there stood the person he was just expecting, staring intently back at him with his brows furrowed and his lips pursed. Tao observes as the older boy knocks impatiently once more before tucking his hand back into his jacket pocket. “Tao it's me.” he hears him say, voice muffled behind the closed door before Tao decides to pull it open.

“Christ Seungsoo what took you so long I-”

He freezes, his eyes finally noticing the small figure inching out into view from behind Seungsoo. With those bright wide eyes and soft plump lips exactly as he remembers them to be, Tao takes a good second or two registering the sight before finally finding the voice to speak.

“Kyungsoo?”

“T-tao...Hi, I uhm, I just, I heard you were back and I- I had to see you.”

The evident surprise in Tao's face gradually turns into an icy cold expression, one Kyungsoo isn't quite used to seeing on someone who used to be so full of spirit and smiles. He doesn't miss the glares exchanged between his brother and his former friend, and he takes it as a sign that he definitely isn't a welcome guest at the moment.

Finally after several agonizing seconds of tension Tao takes the initiative to step aside in silent invitation for them to enter. The siblings do just that, Seungsoo taking big, confident strides ahead of Kyungsoo who shuffles his way in through shy baby steps.

Closing the door (or rather slamming it) Tao motions for them to take a seat on the king sized bed positioned against the wall. Kyungsoo sits daintily by the edge, his hands clasped together over his lap as his eyes flicker over to a lounging Seungsoo then back to a very serious looking Tao standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed.

He suddenly becomes hyper aware of the changes in his former friend, the most prominent being his height. Kyungsoo's always known that Tao, being as active in sports as he is, would grow much quicker and leaner than he would. Even through the sleeves of his turtleneck shirt Kyungsoo could tell that his muscles were much more defined, most probably a result of his years in martial arts training. He has the same jet black locks as Kyungsoo remembers, except now it's styled in a clean-cut, chic up-do, unlike how he used to wear it, messy and ungroomed. A glance at his clothing and at a few of his belongings scattered around the room allows the smaller boy to notice his sudden interest in high end brands as well. Appearance-wise Tao's changed a lot, but the biggest change Kyungsoo sees is not in his stye or his features, but in his personality. He no longer acts anything like the child-at-heart Kyungsoo knew several years back.

“So.” Seungsoo blurts out, determined to get this over and done with. “What are we gonna discuss today in this...lovely reunion of ours.”

“Actually, I'd like to talk to you hyung. In private.”

“Are you staying for long Tao?”

“No. I have no more than a few days here in Seoul then I'll be boarding another flight. Now I'd like to please have a word with you-”

“Where are you flying to next?”

“I don't know yet. I don't have a clear plan in my head. Hyung.”

“How was Japan? Heard it snowed pretty hard there.”

“I'll tell you about Japan some other day, Can we please talk outside?”

Before Seungsoo could even say anything else Tao is by the bedside grabbing his wrist and pulling him up, all too ready to drag him and his blabbering mouth out into the hallway where there were no extra ears listening.

He doesn't expect it when Kyungsoo suddenly reaches out to him with a call of his name (to hug him? to stop him? to get his attention? he doesn't know either). It causes him to violently jerk away and take an unsteady step back, his body staggering a bit in an attempt to regain balance.

His reaction takes Kyungsoo a bit by surprise, the boy retracting his hand and staring at him with a glint of fear in his eyes. Old habits suddenly return as Kyungsoo clenches his fists and holds them close to himself, taking as little space as he can by holding his arms and legs together looking like a frightened caterpillar while Tao continues to stare at him in shock. I'm sorry, the smaller boy blurts out, but Tao doesn't even hear him out. Instead he resumes on his previous actions, grabbing Seungsoo by the wrist once more and pulling him into the hotel bathroom as quickly as he could.

“Why the is he here?!”

As soon as the door is locked Tao allows himself to go frantic. His outburst comes out as nothing but mere whispers, there's a certain panic to his tone that gives away just how unprepared he seems to be for the current situation he's faced with.

“He read your letter okay I couldn't lie to him anymore-”

“He read my letter?!”

“YES! Okay yes he did and it's my fault yadda yadda but just look at him Tao! He's tired and exhausted and frightened and he's absolutely clueless”

“That doesn't make him any less dangerous to me.”

“You and I both know that Kyungsoo would do anything for his friends, for anyone he loves. I just watched him ing socialize for this new boyfriend of his-”

“He has a boyfriend?!”

“Yes, but that's besides the point- he's a good boy. Heck he hasn't even ing asked me why we're secretly meeting, and last I checked he hasn't asked you about the incident in the hospital years back either. It's because he trusts us, He trusts we have our reasons and he's willing to leave all the bull behind if only to rebuild your relationship. And for a boy like Kyungsoo we should feel damn special to have earned his trust. We've both broken it already in some way, you left without a word, I kept your return a secret. But look, he's out there right now still wanting to see and talk to you because he just plain misses you.”

“So what do you want me to do? Tell him everything? You know why i left hyung, he doesn't. But when he finds out how do you think he'd react? He's too scared to even tell you about your own parents, it's not only a secret because of his fear of your rejection but it's also a secret because he blames himself, you told me that yourself, so now how is he supposed to handle knowing he did the same to me? I know he's a good boy, and that makes me ten times more sure that he'd blame himself for what he doesn't know he did at the hospital. I-”

“Wait. Sh.”

“What? No listen to me-”

“Sh!”

Right when the two of them fall into silence, the sound of a door slamming shut echoes from the outside. They look each other wide eyed, knowing all too well who might have left the room just now. Seungsoo rushes out the bathroom door only to find the room empty, his thoughts confirmed when he finds no sign of his younger brother anywhere. Cursing under his breath, he quickly checks the hallway with Tao following close behind.

No sign of Kyungsoo.

***

“So much for a romantic surprise.”

It's been an hour and a half already since Jongin's arrived at the Do residence. It's five in the morning and you 're probably wondering what on eath he planned on doing there at a time when the sun wasn't even visibly up in the sky yet. His original plans mainly comprised of cheesy romantic scenarios, like throwing pebbles at Kyungsoo's window, watching an adorable sleep induced Kyungsoo pop his head out, climbing up and just doing it like people did in the movies and fairy tales. Although aparently Jongin forgot one little detail and it's the fact that movies and fairy tales are both deceiving bull. So you could only imagine his disappointment when he starts throwing pebbles at an empty house.

Now he sits by their front porch, basking in the merciless cold of dawn while checking his watch every now and then, curiously wondering whether the siblings lived some sort of exciting secret life which entailed them to leave at such ungodly hours.

His sister had allowed him to take her car since no trains were running this early in the day. Of course, it came with the promise to introduce Kyungsoo to both his noonas the next time he drove it back for return. It wasn't hard for him to agree since he already had plans of introducing the sweet boy to them in the first place, but of course there were more catches. Two noonas equals twice the deception he concludes the minute he starts the engine and realizes it's only left running on 10% fuel. He sighed when a couple of money bills were waved in his face, fuel money his other noona had sing-songed, and considering It's was a rather long drive back and his pockets were kind of empty at that moment, he had decided to take it and accept whatever condition came along with it.

The result? An extra two hours in his noona's house and platinum blonde locks replaced with a rich shade of chocolate brown. The first thing he wonders is wether or not Kyungsoo would like it.

Jongin leans back and turns his head towards the sky, watching the stars disappear completely and the clouds gradually light up in a dim cyan hue. He had visited his sister's house in order to clear his head over the entire Krystal issue, although he couldn't say he's feeling better about the fact that he just lost his best friend, at least he's a little less lost and more determined to win their friendship back, without losing Kyungsoo of course. He just couldn't throw away a relationship built on years of memories together, it's too much of a waste. He loves Krystal like the little sister he never had and he wanted her to see him under the same light.

The sound of a car engine stopping by the curb drives him away from his own thoughts. He turns his head to the sight of a passenger getting down a cab, watching it drive off before walking down the line of houses. Jongin squints once the person begins approaching him, closer and closer, and when big round eyes lift up to meet his gaze, a wide grin immediately spreads across his face in recognition.

The smaller boy, who is none other than Kyungsoo, stops on his tracks, squinting his eyes at the man seated on his porch. The brown hair makes him hesitate for a minute longer but once he sees the familiar smile he's learned to love ,he couldn't help but instantly smile back.

“Jongin.” He mumbles to himself quietly at first, before launching into a sprint and running into the tanned boy's arms which were already spread wide open for him. “Jongin!” He half-giggles half-shouts as he's hugged, lifted, and spun around in the air by his lover.

“Wow, whish i had you over at my place everyday, it would be nice to be welcomed like this all the time.” Jongin says, his eyes closed and his smile wide. He sets Kyungsoo down before pulling apart.

“What are you doing here?”

“I should by asking you the questions, why weren't you here? I didn't expect you to be out this early.”

“Well I...”

“Don't tell me you went out alone, Where's your brother?”

“He left with me. I just...I came back alone. It's complicated. I thought you were over at your sister's place? How did you get here?” Kyungsoo's eyes land on the black audi parked by the sidewalk right outside his house. “Is that a car?”

“My sister's. She lent it to me for the time being...of course, it came with certain terms and conditions.” Jongin chuckles, pointing to his new hair color. Kyungsoo stares at it for a good second or two, tilting his head and squinting his eyes as if deciding whether he's in favor of this change or not. Just as Jongin is beginning to feel nervous he breaks into an aproving smile

“I like it. You look very classy.”

“Classy? Is that your way of telling me i looked trashy in blonde?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “I think any color would suit you. But this suits you exceptionally well.”

“I was worried you wouldn't like it.”

“Kim Jongin i'm not that shallow.”

The tanned boy chuckles once more.

“Anyway, I didn't even know you could drive.”

“I don't drive i cruise.”

“cruise or crash?”

“Hey!”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “So what are you doing in my front porch at five in the morning?”

“Well...” Jongin shyly rubs his nape, Kyungsoo mentally coos at him “...I was hoping to surprise you...you know, romeo and juliet style”

“Romeo...and Juliet.” The smaller boy does a sad attempt to restrain himself from bursting out into laughter by biting his lip and covering his mouth.

“Not a word.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head and chuckles softly to himself “Come inside.”

The two make their way inside hand in hand, escaping the cold of dawn and welcoming the warmth of the Do residence. Kyungsoo toes off his shoes and waits for Jongin to finish taking off his before walking into the kitchen to offer his guest something warm to drink. By now the sun is somewhere behind the clouded sky and everything is quiet, nothing but the sound of their padding feet against the wooden floor. It's only at this moment that Jongin gets the chance to fully take in Kyungsoo's appearance, and he's quite surprised at the sight that greets him.

The smaller boy is in nothing but his pajamas and a thin jacket. His hair is slightly disheveled and his eyes bloodshot red. Jongin's not sure if he sees it correctly but there are dark circles underneath his eyes and dried tear stains against his cheeks. All too suddenly he's hit by a wave of worry.

He reaches out and gently grasps onto Kyungsoo's wrist, stopping him from taking mugs out of the cupboard before taking his face in his hands, making their gazes meet. The smaller boy smiles upon the contact but once he notices Jongin's furrowed brows and worry filled eyes his smile fades and his eyes look anywhere but back at him.

“Kyungsoo where have you been?”

The boy could only sigh. He tries to turn away but Jongin just wouldn't let him. “Where have you been?” He asks again, and once more Kyungsoo could only respond with a sigh.

“It's...it's complicated.”

“Kyungsoo i'm a med student, nothing is too complicated for me.”

“One story at a time. You promised me you'd tell me yours.”

“Kyungsoo i want to know what's wrong-”

“Jongin please? Please? I don't...I don't want to talk about it right now.”

Jongin continues to stare at the smaller boy for a minute longer before he sighs and rubs his thumb across the other's cheek affectionately. He lets go after a while, running a hand through his hair and leaning against the counter to stare outside the window. “Where should I start.”

“Wherever you want to.”

“It's Krystal.”

“Did you fight?” Kyungsoo moves closer, placing a hand over Jongin's shoulder and tilting his head slightly to get a glimpse of the other's expression. Jongin just lowers his head, letting his hair fall over his face.

“I- yeah. She- She told me something. Two things actually, one i don't believe, the other i...don't know how to believe. Pick one.”

“The something which you don't know how to believe.”

“She loves me. In that way.”

“Oh.” The smaller boy begins awkwardly picking on the hem of his shirt, wondering how the confession might have went. And maybe worrying whether it had stirred any sort of feeling from Jongin. The other looks at him for a reaction, one eyebrow raising at the look of deep thought he sees.

“You're not jealous are you?”

Kyungsoo lets out a chuckle “I'm not like that. She's my friend too now.”

“Why the long face then?”

“You're very dense Kim Jongin.”

Jongin scrunches his face in confusion for a minute or two before it turns into an expression of recognition. “No way. You knew?!”

“I only assumed she liked you a lot by the way she acted around you...haven't you ever seen a girl in love?”

“Have you?”

“I work in a bakeshop. All kinds of customers come in. On valentines day, they come in with dreamy looks on their eyes and blushes on their cheeks.”

“I've never seen her with goo-goo eyes or tomato cheeks.”

“That's how things are when you've been with someone for years Jongin, small changes become mundane.”

She told me. She asked for my help to win you over. She hates me. Kyungsoo wanted to say, but he figures it's not right. He didn't want to fuel resentment within Jongin, he didn't want him to dislike Krystal at all. Her actions might have been a little harsh, but he understands why. Had he been in her shoes, losing Jongin not only as a lover but also as a bestfriend, he would have lost it

The tanned boy simply sighs. Kyungsoo goes back to his previous agenda of making warm drinks for them both. “What's the second story?” He asks, busy trying to reach the mug placed on a shelf too damn high.

“This one's ridiculous...I mean, promise me you won't take this against her or anything, I'm just really hoping she's not high on any sort of drug...” He helps the smaller boy out, easily taking the mug and handing it to him receiving a mumbled thank you in return. “...ah it's ridiculous maybe i shouldn't...”

“Is it about me?”

“Yeah...but really it's- on a different level of strange.”

“I've heard pretty strange things about myself Jongin, i think i can handle this.”

“Remember when i took you inside my University? The body farm and everything?”

“Mhm.” Kyungsoo says nonchalantly, pouring in some freshly brewed coffee, intoxicating the air with it's wonderful smell.

“She says she was there, I mean, not there there but, she saw you? And- this one's the ridiculous part, I promise i'm not trying to scare you- she saw one of the dead bodies moving?”

Suddenly the smaller boy's actions halt. For a second, for a single second no more no less, he freezes. His heart skips a beat. His mind goes blank. The thought that this is it, this is the end flashes through and disappears just as quickly.

But after the second passes he has his mask back on, making the perfect cup of coffee like he's not the slightest bit bothered.

Jongin can't know. Not yet. Not when Kyungsoo finally knows what he thinks of his strange ability,

Ridiculous.

“She could be right you know.” He says after swallowing down his own fear. “I've always wanted to believe in zombies.”

“...zombies.”

“Zombies.”

“...You're too nice. Has anyone ever told you that?”

Kyungsoo smiles, handing Jongin his mug. “People have reasons, saying what they say. You're her bestfriend. You're the only person who could possibly believe her right now.”

“She says you did it you know.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. Brought the body back to life and death with a single touch she says. Should I believe in that too?”

The smaller boy holds his mug close to himself, rubbing his thumb across it's hot surface with his eyes downcast. The heat against his palms would normally be hurting him by now, but the situation has him feeling numb all over. He lets out a chuckle. “That could be true too.”

“Should I call you the Zombie Lord now and plant sunflowers outside my dorm whenever you're to come over.”

“Possibly.”

Jongin laughs, unable to notice that Kyungsoo isn't laughing along with him. “Possibly. You're adorable.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don't know. I usually ask her that. What should i do Krys?”

A moment of silence goes by as Jongin merely takes a sip of his coffee while Kyungsoo sets his down untouched.

“I'm sorry.” The smaller all but mumbles, though Jongin hears it loud and clear.

“Hm?”

“I'm sorry. This is my fault. She wouldn't have...maybe she wouldn't have said such things If I- If i hand't interfered with your- her life...I never wanted to break anyone's relationship i just-”

Kyungsoo doesn't exactly know when it happens but the tears come streaming down his face for the second time that morning. One moment he's sobbing silently in the backseat of a cab and the next thing he knows he's stuttering and choking nonsense in front of his lover. It isn't even ten in the morning yet and he already feels so overwhelmed with emotions. Everything becomes a blur to him and all he can register is the feeling of someone's strong hands holding on to his shoulders, pushing him back gently until he feels himself being lifted to sit on the kitchen counter. Suddenly he's staring back at worried eyes as the same strong hands wipe away his tears.

“It not your fault.” Jongin whispers, cupping the smaller boys face and rubbing his cheeks with his thumb. “hey, it's not your fault.”

“Jongin I-”

It's true. It's all true. I'm sorry I'm lying.

“I don't blame you. I won't allow anyone to blame you. Not even yourself, understand?”

“But-”

“Understand?”

“Listen I-”

Kyungsoo never gets to say the words he needs to say, not when Jongin's lips are pressed against his.

The words get muffled in his throat when the tanned boy surprises him with a kiss, Kyungsoo's eyes were wide open when it happens while Jongin's were shut closed. Neither of them move for a while, and it isn't until the smaller relaxes, closing his eyes and pressing back that Jongin takes the initiative to kick it up a notch. He moves his lips against his, slowly and gently, with so much care. Kyungsoo lets out a breath, opening his mouth ever so slightly which gives Jongin just the right opportunity.

Kyungsoo leans back, his hands flat against the kitchen counter he sits on while Jongin leans forward, closer to him that the smaller boy has to spread his legs slightly as the other fits himself perfectly in between. Kyungsoo's thoughts are a scattered mess at this point and all he could think about is this kiss and Jongin Jongin Freaking Jongin. His face is burning and it doesn't help that the tanned boy is currently trying to take off the thin jacket he wore. Kyungsoo doesn't even think, taking it off entirely before wrapping his arms around the other's neck, Jongin having pulled away from his lips only to press soft kisses down his jaw and neck this time.

Things happen too fast and suddenly Kyungsoo is wrapping his legs around Jongin's hips while the other continues placing hickeys around his collar bone. Neither of them make a sound, nothing but stuttering breaths and brief gasps escape their lips and it's all so sensual Kyungsoo's not sure how far this is going to go. He's not sure if he wants to stop this or just go on with it because why the hell not?

And it's then that a random thought crosses his mind, just when Jongin bites lightly over a mark he's made.

I haven't told him I love him.

“Jongin I-” He begins.

But it seems he'll never go any further than the beginning.

“Kyungsoo??”

A voice from the entrance echoes, followed by the sound of a door being shut closed. Jongin and Kyungsoo freeze, the smaller boy's eyes snapping open while the tanned boy's head pulls back.

“Kyungsoo?” The voice calls out again, and this time he recognizes it. he mumbles to himself, knowing all too well that it's his older brother who came through the front door just now. He scrambles off the counter while Jongin does this strange panic walk where he steps back and forth and looks here and there not knowing what to do. Kyungsoo tries his best to look a little less flustered than he actually feels and convinces the tanned boy to remain still. Just as he finishes zipping up his jacket to cover the red marks over his neck, Seungsoo appears by the doorway.

“...Dark kid?” Is the first thing he says, an eyebrow raised with an invisible question mark above his head as he eyes Jongin warily.

“Goodmorning.” Jongin swallows, standing behind the counter desperately trying to hide the slight tent in his pants. Seungsoo spends a good minute or two just staring at him in confussion, his eyebrows raising impossibly high, before shaking his head deciding that one: this Jongin kid is weird in all levels and two: he doesn't really want to know why they're both blushing mad.

“Kyungsoo.” He addresses once more, “I thought you had run off somewherre...”

At the mention it, there's a flashback of the previous events that happens in Kyungsoo's mind and his expression immediately turns sullen. He shakes his head wordlessly.

“Oh...Tao says- I mean, Tao wants to say-”

“If Tao wants to say something,” the smaller boy remarks in a tone of indifference “tell him to come say it himself.”

“Kyungsoo you need to understand.”

“I do not understand hyung.”

“He just wants to tell you-”

“Hyung you're not an owl!” Kyungsoo exclaims, the sudden raise of voice causing both Jongin and Seungsoo to slightly jump in their places. “He can tell me himself.”

It's a strange feeling, having Kyungsoo yell at you. Knowing the boy, he close to never yells at anything or anyone and nearly always talks in a whisper. Seungsoo could barely recognize him at the moment, he couldn't recognize those cold eyes or that stiff and tense body, it's not his little brother. It's not his little brother at all, and it slightly hurts to know that he's partly the creator of this stranger in front of him.

He raises both his hands in surrender. “Alright...alright.”

The three of them stand in silence, one wondering who this Tao person is, the other tired of emotional roller coasters, and the last wishing he could rewind time. The air is filled with thought bubbles and Kyungsoo thinks its the most deafening kind of silence. His eyes begin to feel heavy and his vission starts to blur, so he decides that it's best to retire for the day. Or for an hour at least.

“I'm...I'm going to sleep.” He announces. He turns to Jongin with an apologetic gaze to which the other responds to with an innocent kiss to his forehead and an affectionate squeeze of his shoulder.

Get some sleep. I'll see you soon. He whispers in dismissal, watching the other return a weak smile before shuffling out of the kitchen without so much as a glance towards his older brother's direction. Jongin doesn't miss the hurt in Seungsoo's eyes and he's so tempted to ask what the hell happened.

Instead he keeps silent, waiting until they both hear the sound of Kyungsoo's door clicking closed on the second floor. Seungsoo lets out a sigh, making his way to the living room, unwrapping his scarf and dumping it in some random chair on the way. Jongin takes this as his cue to leave. He places his half empty mug and Kyungsoo's full one on the sink before walking swiftly towards the entrance throwing a mumbled i'll be going now. In Seungsoo's direction. The older boy calls out his name.

“...Thanks. For taking care of him and everything.” he says, looking at him with tired eyes from where he's currently seated on the sofa.

“Hyung, I really do love him, you know.”

“I know, Jongin, I know.”

A/N: I'm just as confused as you are. If I ever die or wake up with a third arm know that's it's because I've been drinking too much energy drinks and pulling too much all nighters.