Bronchospazms.

Liquid in the lungs.

5 inches down and 2 inches right of the heart.

Kyungsoo could barely keep up with all the medical jargon that the voices surrounding him keep rambling about. He couldn't make any sense of them at all, so much so that he just stops paying attention to them all together. The voices become nothing but soft buzzing noises in the background, pushed to the recedes of his mind as he feels his whole world tilt sideways, his left cheek pressing against what feels like some sort of soft fabric that smells really nice. It smells like laundry he thinks to himself as he turns his head a bit more to nuzzle against the strangely comfortable thing he was currently leaning on. He doesn't remember when his eyes fall closed nor when his breathing evens out but then suddenly all he can seem to see right now are penguins. many of them.

"..p...ng.."

Jongin lifts his gaze from his textbook and turns his head towards the sudden weight he feels against his shoulder, only for the tip of his nose to brush against soft red locks of hair belonging to a very drowsy looking Kyungsoo. The way the smaller boy's cheek is squished against his shoulder with his mouth hanging slightly open has Jongin smiling in silent adoration.

"...Did he just say penguins?" Taemin first comments, throwing a strange look towards the sleeping beauty.

Jongin shushes him immediately before adjusting to allow Kyungsoo a little more comfort. "He's only dreaming."  he says in a hushed tone "It's been a rough morning for him, believe me..."

"...Whatever. what's the answer to 3.5?"

"Have you even tried to solve it, you just asked me the answer to 3.4 five seconds ago?"

"Right sorry i forgot.

....so what's the answer to 3.5?"

Jongin shakes his head disapprovingly.

It's not a very busy afternoon at the bakery when Jongin and his circle of friends decide to pay a visit. For about 2 and a half hours now they've been deeply immersed in a conversation about amputation and surgical procedures, seated on the table by the window with their noses buried in their 2 inch thick textbooks, the cups of coffee Luhan had offered them when they first came in now half-finished and cold.

Kyungsoo fully regrets having gotten up unnecessarily early that morning for a stupid glass of water. Its ridiculous how such a mundane situation could lead to the unfolding of so many problems, all of which were just shoved up the poor boy’s face one after the other. Secrets were everywhere now, even in the one person he had trusted for his entire 22 years of living. He didn’t even want to know what his brother and his former friend (a sad but true label) were mumbling about behind the bathroom’s closed door, he found it a wiser decision to just pull a disappearing act and leave the suffocating atmosphere as quickly as he could. He wasn’t supposed to be there anyway, all he freaking wanted was a glass of water.

Lesson learned, he had told himself, no good decision is made past 2 in the morning.

His little encounter with Jongin was probably the only memory he thought was worth keeping out of this morning’s entire series of unfortunate events. He had allowed his heart to beat loud and fast in his ears upon recalling the feeling of soft lips against his own. At least that had granted him a good 30 minutes of Jongin-filled dreams before his 6:30 am alarm went off signalling that it was time to start his day, or at least, start it again.

He barely made it to the bakery on time, having dozed off quite heavily on the train ride there. It didn’t help that there was already a customer by the counter as soon as he had entered, making him practically bow his way to the kitchen where he had dumped his bag, threw an apron on, and went straight to work on a delicious set of butterscotch scones.

The customers kept coming, the flow only dying down by lunch time and Kyungsoo’s energy level was down to 20%. It’s only then that he heard a familiar voice enter accompanied by the chime of the store’s front door. He walked out of the kitchen fully relieved to be greeted by a worried smile and a tender Hi, mind if we kill some time here? From a fresh looking Jongin in his grey turtleneck and blue jeans, backpack and textbook in tow. Behind him Junmyeon, Taemin, and Jongdae were all smiling politely as Luhan had lead them towards their usual seat, serving them some coffee.

It wasn’t long before a momentary period of lull had fallen over the bakery, and it allowed Kyungsoo to finally give in to Jongin’s constant urges for him to sit down with them and stop being such a workaholic for a while.

 And that brings us back to where we started.

It's not a very busy afternoon at the bakery when Jongin and his circle of friends decide to pay a visit.

“Junmyeon what’s the answer to 3.5?” Taemin continues, pestering his new victim.

Jongin shakes his head in disapproval “Remind me never to trust my life in you once you get a doctor’s degree.”

“I’m not asking you ex-friend.”

 “Lower your voice, Christ.”

“Kyungsoo you better ing wake up and teach your man here a thing or two about sharing!”

The said boy’s face winces ever so slightly, a soft mumble escaping his lips. Jongin glares.

“Do you want to die?“

“I hope you’re aware that you’re both equally noisy” Jongdae interrupts, nonchalantly flipping to the next page of his magazine. He throws a brief glance towards the sleeping boy next to Jongin.

“…Taemin put a sock in that mouth of yours.” He mumbles, loud enough to seem annoyed but soft enough to express a hint of concern.

 At the side Junmyeon silently scribbles some last few words onto his pad before wordlessly sliding it over to taemin once he finishes. The other boy lets out a gleeful cheer (something about Junmyeon being his “only true friend” and such) before crouching down and copying the answers like he’s all too used to, the sound of his pen scribbling across his pad mixed with the sound of Jongin’s audible sigh. He needs better friends.

“Have any of you seen Krystal by the way?” Junmyeon asks, already working on the next problem. Jongdae warily eyes Jongin’s reaction and unexpectedly their gazes meet. The tanned boy immediately turns back to his text book.

“…I don’t know.”

“Wait, You don’t know?” Taemin asks. “You, don’t, know??”

“Yes I don’t know Taem, I’m not a god.”

“Hell yeah you’re not you’re far from it but when it comes to Krystal you might as well be one, you always know where she is.”

“…Well this time I don’t. Why’d you ask Junmyeon?”

The other remains silent for a few seconds, chewing on his pen and staring intensely at his pad before replying. “She was supposed to meet me today. She had been really persistent in asking me to tutor her for this one test but she never showed up. It’s strange and unlike her, I’m worried something might have happened.”

Jongdae sets his magazine down on the table before staring intently at Jongin who is seated in front of him “I’m suspecting that too.”  He says, much more to the tanned boy than to anyone else. They exchange knowing looks while the others’ voices die down in the background. Jongin slightly panics knowing the fact that Jongdae is always the fastest to sense when certain things are off, and right now, things with Krystal are definitely off.

“Say Junmyeon, don’t you have an execom meeting today? In like, five minutes from now?”

“Oh shoot-“

Reminded of his schedule, Junmyeon immediately begins gathering his things and stuffing them carelessly into his (chic designer) bag, standing hurriedly and scooting his way past Taemin and Jongdae, waving at them and exchanging quick goodbyes. He bows to Sehun and Luhan who were both currently minding the front counter before rushing out the store, into his car where his driver awaits.

“Man there goes my ride.” Taemin sighs, looking out the window.

Just then Luhan passes by their table while struggling to carry what seems to be like three boxes of cakes “I’m going to deliver these. Do you guys want anything before I go?”

“We’re okay.” Jongin answers with a genuine smile.

“Okay. Just let Sehun know if you need anything, he’s over there. Shout at him if you must, he has his headphones on and he probably has the volume up at level deaf.”

Jongdae chuckles “Noted. By the way, don’t you think you need help with that?”

“Hm? Oh- oh no I’ll be fine really- Kyungsoo’s been looking beat all morning and I really don’t think-“

“I wasn’t talking about Kyungsoo.” He looks to his left and Taemin merely looks back at him with a raised eyebrow “You’ll help won’t you?”

“What?”

“Taemin here will help you out with those.”

“Again, what?”

“Be a good sport and help our new friend out”

“Jongdae,” Luhan stutters, looking a bit unsure “It’s really alright.”

“Yeah Jongdae, he’s really alright.” Taemin parrots, backing away cautiously when the other boy pulls him close enough to whisper in his ear.

“Help the dude out and come back to a completed worksheet. 100% answered.”

It’s all Taemin needs to hear before he’s almost immediately standing, a confused Jongin staring at him like he’s got a third arm when he says “On second thought, maybe you do need help” while stretching his hands out in offering to an equally confused looking Luhan. The latter insists that help is unnecessary however Taemin merely smiles (rather creepily) and takes the topmost box before walking ahead of a protesting Luhan. He throws a quick and rushed “Bye dae, bye ex-friend, I’ll see you both later and I want that completed worksheet in neat handwriting with clear step by step procedures, explanations included, thanks bye!” before disappearing out the door along with their pink haired friend.

There’s a long silence that ensues after that, Sehun’s tapping the only sound resonating through the quiet bakery.

Jongin is hyper aware of Jongdae’s intense stare directed at him and he’s not really sure what he wants him to say or do.

“Did you just bribe him?” He asks, hoping to break the growing tense atmosphere. But the other’s answer is short and vague and Jongin doesn’t really know what to make of it.

“Yes, For very important reasons.” Is all Jongdae says. The tanned boy doesn’t even want to press on further anymore, shaking his head and letting out a breath before turning to page 264 of his book in hopes of gaining back his momentum. He doesn’t get too far however, because before he’s even halfway through reading Jongdae has him stopping completely, his mind going blank at the one question thrown at him.

“So, are you gonna tell me what the hell happened between you and Krystal or are we just gonna keep pretending like nothing did?”

Jongin freezes. Crap. Of course Jongdae would know. Of course. He’s Jongdae.

Looking to his side, he gets a glimpse of Kyungsoo’s sleeping form. The smaller boy’s entire cheek is now squished against his shoulder and his lips seem to be moving, ever so slightly, letting out soft mumbles of incoherent words one wouldn’t even probably hear if not listening close enough.

Jongin  sighs, closing his eyes and tilting his head to the side, lightly pressing his cheek against the top of Kyungsoo’s head. He stays like this for a second or two longer before finally addressing the issue that is Kim Jongdae. They speak in a low, serious and hushed tone.

“I…we spoke…the other day.”

“I’m guessing it wasn’t a very pleasant talk, judging by the way you trudged through the rain looking like . At least, I’m assuming that’s the reason.”

“Wait- how did you- how did you know that?”

“Baekhyun and Chanyeol. Not to mention Kyungsoo saw you. I saw you.”

“Kyungsoo…he saw me?”

“He didn’t just see you, he ing ran after you. Nearly got himself killed beating that red light.”

“He…” Jongin opens and closes his mouth at that, unsure of what to say, a million emotions running through his heart all at once, like fear, anxiety, relief. In the end he leans his head back, running a hand down his face and letting a groan escape his lips. “Jesus Christ Kyungsoo…” he whispers to himself, unable to hide the worry behind his words. The boy beside him continues to mumble in his sleep.

“So?” Jongdae continues, looking at him expectantly “mind if I ask why all my calls to Krystal go to voice mail or why exactly she hasn’t shown up in school today either?”

 “You’ve been calling her?”

“I don’t see why I shouldn’t, seeing that she’s left like, 50 of the most bizarre messages I’ve ever encountered in my life.”

Jongin sighs. “Look we had a fight okay…” he finally says, holding his breath slightly and lowering his voice to an even more hushed tone (if that were even possible) “She- She just kept blurting out the strangest things I-”

“Does it involve the words ‘I’m in love with you’ in any way?”

The tanned boy gives him an incredulous stare “….You’ve got to be kidding me. You knew too???”

“She’s an open book Jongin.”

“Am I the only one who didn’t know about the way she felt?”

“I’m guessing Minseok and Junmyeon’s been keeping silent about it as well. Though I doubt you’re alone, Chanyeol is too much of a chatterbox to observe and Baekhyun is just plain busy. Taemin….lacks a significant amount of brain cells.”

“Okay, , so she’s in love with me. But if she hadn’t badmouthed Kyungsoo beforehand I might have handled it a little better-“

“Wait. Stop.” Jongdae’s expression turns sour. “Badmouthed?”

“I was expecting you to know about that too.”

“Jongin seriously, what happened?”

“Well. She doesn’t like Kyungsoo…that’s one.”

“What did she say?”

“It’s stupid-“

“What did she say?”

“She…She thinks kyungsoo is….” Jongin warily eyes the body leaning against him. Even though other is fast asleep he’s still a bit hesitant to let go of any words that would possibly wound Kyungsoo’s feelings. Luckily, Jongdae is quick to pick up.

“Fine. Nevermind you don’t have to say it I get the jist.”

“I know I lashed out on her but the thing is … I’m still worried about her dae, I may have said some stupid things, but she’s still my bestfriend. Whatever I’ve said doesn’t matter, she’s still something precious to me I can’t deny that. ”

It’s always been a known fact that Jongin and Krystal have been the inseparable duo of their elementary, highschool, and university levels. Jongdae is reminded of this the moment he feels the absolute sincerity in the tanned boy’s words just a few moments ago.  He concludes that Jongin’s affection for Krystal might just be on par with his affection for Kyungsoo, just maybe not on the same context. Jongdae feels that fate is being a little too cruel on his friend for having to make him choose.

“What’s your plan?” Is all he asks in the end, and Jongin could only look out the window as though the answer was somewhere out on the sidewalks.

“Like hell I’d know…”

“Maybe you should talk to her…You’re the only one who could at this point. I’m kind of worried too, knowing Krys, she’s rather impulsive.”

“I just…I just need her to take back all the things she’s said about Kyungsoo and I could pretend nothing ever happened between us…”

“You’re forgetting she’s also pretty stubborn.”

Jongin sighs, seeking comfort in Kyungsoo’s gentle snuggle. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk to her just yet.”

“Suit yourself. Just…” Jongdae spends a moment to pick the right words in his mind, hoping to verbalize his thoughts “It’s not easy you know. It’s not easy to stop loving someone. So it’s probably not easy for Krystal right now...”You’d know that, you’d know that really well, wouldn’t you Jongdae? “Be careful with her”

Jongin turns his gaze towards Kyungsoo, a small smile forming on his lips after a few prolonged seconds of simply watching.

“It’s not easy…you’re damn right about that.”

***

It gets a lot quieter as the day goes by.

Jongin and Jongdae have decided that it was best to drop the depressing discussion for the time being and just let time and fate do its job. Besides, the tanned boy had other important matters to put his mind into such as the practical test he was about to take plus the surgical demo he was entrusted to carry out in front of a freshman class today. They had fallen into silence for the remaining half an hour they spent at the bakery, with Jongdae (subtly) snapping photos of a still knocked out Kyungsoo and Jongin simply finishing up on his work.

When a noisy Taemin and Luhan came barging back through the doors, Jongin took it as his signal to gather his things up and prepare to leave. He repetitively pressed soft and gentle kisses on the plump lips of the sleeping boy next to him time until it earned him a slightly annoyed moan and an unintentional whack to his face.

They left the store with a polite bow and a promise of future visits, ignoring Taemin’s look and shouts of disbelief saying something about lies and betrayal and coming back to a blank answer sheet. Kyungsoo thinks he heard Jongdae spit out something in the lines of ‘that’s what you get for taking junmyeon’s answers’ and ‘Karma’s a ’ before trudging down the opposite direction to probably get to another one of his part time jobs.

Apart from the unnecessarily overflowing amount of text messages Kyungsoo keeps receiving from his older brother (which he blatantly ignores) and from the obvious tension between Sehun and Luhan at work today, Kyungsoo’s day goes on like any other. Or at least that’s how he wants things to seem, ordinary, like his thoughts are not at all swimming in everything he’s just overheard a few moments back.

They get the better of him however and by the time closing hour comes Sehun finally notices his hyung’s distress with work no longer there to keep them both occupied.

“You’re acting’s pretty good” he comments, walking past the older in order to grab his backpack by his locker. “But it doesn’t really fool me” Kyungsoo blinks out of his dazed state and turns to the maknae in confusion.

“What?”

“Don’t give me that, I know you weren’t actually sleeping.”

“I…” Kyungsoo averts his gaze to his hands, not really knowing how to admit that Sehun was right. The youngest throws a sceptical glance before continuing to stuff some some of his belongings into his bag.

“So how much have you heard?”

“…too much for my own liking I guess” the smaller sighs.

Sehun closes his locker and seems to about ready to just stop the conversation then and there, swiftly striding across the room towards the door with his long legs. Kyungsoo’s soft and unsure voice stops him before he could even get there.

“Sehun.” He calls out, gaze slowly lifting up to meet the other’s eyes “If…if someone caused a problem…let’s say a really big one. It should be fixed right? He should fix it right?”

The youngest stares at his hyung long and hard, and despite being pretty sharp for his age, this time he couldn’t seem to read the other’s thoughts. There’s a mixture of fear and determination in Kyungsoo’s eyes that he couldn’t quite seem to piece together and it makes him think twice or even thrice about the next words he decides to let go.

“Yes. But some problems are meant to fix themselves. Some problems…some problems don’t need any fixing at all, hyung.”

Kyungsoo nods wordlessly at that, giving Sehun the permission to exit the room and leave him to his own thoughts.

Kyungsoo’s caused a problem. Kyungsoo’s caused a very big problem.

Overhearing Jongdae and Jongin’s conversation had only confirmed what he was already fearing, that despite Jongin’s constant efforts to seem completely fine in front of him, despite his assurance that it wasn’t Kyungsoo’s fault, the smaller boy knew that it just was, and that his lover was hurt way more than he actually showed. He knew how deep Jongin’s friendship with Krystal went (it’s all he ever worried about back when he still wondered how on earth he could top it) and by the way things were looking, the only explanation for its slow and sudden crumble to non-existence was his joining into the picture. And now all he could picture is Krystal alone in her room or doing something foolish out at night and it made him sick to the core. Guilt ate him up from the inside.

If someone caused a problem, let’s say a really big one, it should be fixed. Right?

Yes. Sehun had said. Kyungsoo nods to himself, determined, drowning out the rest of Sehun’s reply and focusing on that one word.

Yes.  

***

Kyungsoo’s never thought he’d live to see the day when Seungsoo decides to start acting a little more…timid.

Do Seungsoo, acting Timid for crying out loud. It’s nearly as insane as Kyungsoo standing on a podium giving a speech.

It happens when he returns from the bakery. He opens the door to a silent house, the air around him frighteningly still and undisturbed as he calls out his usual “I’m home” (rather lifelessly) while toeing off his shoes by the entrance. It’s only then that the older boy comes walking down the hallway, rubbing his arm while wearing a nervous smile, a quiet “Welcome home” slipping from his lips only to be replaced by a frown when Kyungsoo merely stalks past him without even so much as a glance. Seungsoo closes his eyes and exhales, knowing all too well that he deserves this, Kyungsoo has every right to be mad.

They don’t talk anymore after that, Kyungsoo locked away in his room and the older boy busying himself with whatever it is he does downstairs. There’s a nostalgic feeling that washes over Seungsoo and suddenly it’s like the dark days all over again, it’s like he’s taken back to the mornings right after their parent’s death, when Kyungsoo stayed put in their room while the older boy milled about the house, trying his best keep everything alive, to keep his brother alive.

Kyungsoo sits at the foot of his bed, thinking. Just thinking.

He stares long and hard at the wall in front of him, at the stack of books pilled in several rows on the floor just below and an empty flower pot set on top of one pile (he’s too afraid to replace his old mum flowers with new ones, he’s too afraid to watch it wither and die, to be tempted to use his freakish ability again).

He allows himself to fall back, his body bouncing once he flops onto the bed, swimming in his own thoughts.

Kyungsoo had two major problems as of the moment, one he wanted to deal with, the other he wanted to avoid.

Problem-to-be-dealt-with is none other than a certain damsel in distress with fiery red hair, a doll-like face and a name that is Krystal. Kyungsoo is undoubtedly all-around sweetheart as he genuinely cares for the red head’s well-being, but the driving factor that pushes him to take the extra mile into making sure that things end in good terms between them is none other than Jongin and his happiness, his peace of mind.

Problem-to-be-avoided involves a certain old friend of his whose enthusiasm for everything luxurious in life has seemed to spiral out of control. Kyungsoo didn’t know what to do with Tao. He didn’t know whether there was something needed to be done with Tao. There were answers he needed to get, there were questions he needed to ask, but ever since that night at the hotel he’s come to learn that some things are better left unsaid. His entire life was and still is built around secrets, most of them having turned out to be twisted truths he’d rather not have known. He thinks that maybe Tao’s secret, why he left and everything else connected to that, would end up as just another unpleasant surprise. Kyungsoo thinks he’s had enough plot twists, he thinks he’d rather just settle with the thought that Tao is still somewhere on the other side of the globe.

 So here we have problem number one and problem number two, and maybe a few other unmentioned baby ones (perhaps a mischievous older brother and maybe two arguing best friends would count) sprouting into Kyungsoo’s life like little mushroom infestations. It elicits a hopeless sigh out of him.

He sits up after having mulled deeply about the current miserable state of his life and mechanically goes about his room, picking up a cap and slinging a bag over his shoulder before crouching down to retrieve a worn out looking box from underneath his bed. He heaves it up in his arms and exits his room, the sound of his door swinging open catching the attention of his brother, who sat at the living room staring but not really watching a particular series airing on TV.

Kyungsoo’s footsteps down the stairs draw him out of his trance and his eyes dart towards the younger curiously as he approaches and all too suddenly drops the box he was holding right in the middle of the room.

When the younger doesn’t move for a full second or two, just standing there with a look of determination, Seungsoo decides to make the first move and lean forward slightly, taking a peek at the contents of the box and furrowing his eyebrows even more when he finds out what they are.

He’s about to ask about it when Kyungsoo finally speaks up, his tone giving away none of his emotions. “Give these to Tao for me would you?” he simply says, quickly examining the contents of the box as well.

“Tao?”

“Yes. Tao.”

“Oh, uhm, okay I will. “

“Thank you.”

“…can I ask…what they are?”

No answer.

“You two- I mean- have you two talked recently?”

Kyungsoo straightens his back and there’s a slightly menacing glint in his eyes that disappears as quickly as it comes, retuning his expression back to one that’s dull and uninterested

“No, we haven’t” is all he says and Seungsoo seems like he’s about to ask another question but this time the younger boy cuts him off before he could. “No.” He repeats “We haven’t, and I don’t think he wants to, I don’t think he will. So can you please just give him this box, and tell him that I don’t want them anymore.”

It’s the last the older hears of him before he’s sauntering his way out of the living room, down the hall and by the entrance, crouching down to put on a pair of sneakers. Seungsoo quietly gets up and follows him, nearly tripping over the box at the center giving it a mild glare before lingering a good distance away from Kyungsoo, as though if he moved any closer he’d shatter whatever is left of their fragile relationship.

“Going somewhere?” He asks, again in an unusually quiet, un-Seungsoo like voice.  

Kyungsoo doesn’t reply, standing and securing his cap on before reaching out to open the front door. He’s halfway out already when he freezes, back turned to the older and expression unreadable.

“It’s a secret.” He mumbles, barely audible. He then closes the door behind him, leaving poor Seungsoo and his pained expression standing in the hallway alone.

It takes a while before he’s walking back into the living room again, rummaging through the worn out box of old film tapes Kyungsoo’s left as a reminder of how guilty he should be feeling.

***

It’s cold and dark in one of the third floor rooms of the university’s female dorm.

The fourth to the last one located in the hallway to the right of the elevator to be exact. 

Behind the other closed doors you’d hear all sorts of the typical sounds to be expected of rooms filled with young girls, ranging from loud giggles to hushed whispers of gossips or rants and what not. Some rooms are quiet, with nothing but the sound of water pouring from shower heads or the sound of feet padding across wooden floors. Usually no room is ever left pitch dark, even way past curfew time when the hallway lights are switched off there are always those rooms whose night lights are bright enough to shine beneath their doors and cast colourful shadows onto the supposedly dim hallway. 

But in one particular room, no matter how hard you stick your ear against the door, not even the softest sound can be heard. No matter how hard you strain your eyes, If you bend on your knees and peek beneath, there’d be nothing but the dim blue glow of the moonlight from what we’ll assume is an open window.

It would be easy to say that maybe no one’s there, maybe the owner went out, maybe it had been a vacant room for the longest time now. Knowing so might just make the silence and darkness a little less…unsettling.

Though we couldn’t really say such assumptions are true since just a few days back some have witnessed a frazzled looking red head enter, with her tear stained cheeks and mismatched shoes, mumbling to herself all the way inside until she slams the door shut one final time before she just never comes out again.

A few girls have came over apparently, wondering where a certain Jung Soojung had disappeared off to, but when all of their knocks go unanswered, they merely shrug their shoulders and aim to look elsewhere.

“None of you are like Jongin” is what the red head would most probably have said if she were to witness all these people right outside her door

“Jongin would kick down the door if he had to. He’d find me. He’d do everything to find me. He’d miss me

Wouldn’t he?”

 ***

Kyungsoo doesn’t really know what to do now.

Impulse had driven him to rush out of his house a few moments ago, without any clear plans draw in his head and nothing but a vague end goal as his motivation. From his house to the station, there was only the worry of catching the last train ride to Hongdae before the station closes for the day occupying his mind. However, the moment he had gotten off the train, his feet went autopilot and he just began trudging through the thin sea of people, trying to recall the right directions in his dazed state, that would lead him to Jongin’s university campus.   

At this time of the night, the streets looked both familiar and foreign to Kyungsoo. He subconsciously knew where the turns and intersections were and where they would lead him, however he wasn’t used to seeing everything blanketed under the night sky. He wasn’t used to the stores being lighted up and the alleys being darker than they already were in the afternoon, to the neon signs he wasn’t even aware were there and to the different kind of crowd filled with young people who weren’t in uniforms or business attires.

The change of atmosphere keeps his mind occupied for the entire walk to campus, but it isn’t until he’s standing in front of the gates, staring up at the lady’s dorm, that he realizes that he hasn’t exactly planned this out all too well.

So Kyungsoo doesn’t really know what to do now.

He shuffles on his feet and tugs his hat lower; pulling his bag higher up his shoulder, suddenly feeling conscious of the curious glances passers-by throw at him. Well, considering his current appearance, looking like some rebel just about ready to climb up the fence and sneak into restricted areas, he would probably stare at himself too.

He brings out his phone and scrolls through the limited contacts he has until he finds his saviour for the night and presses the call button hesitantly (Hopefully at least, his fingers are crossed). The other line rings three times before someone picks up.

“Hello?”

“H-hello? Junmyeon?”

“Speaking. Who is this?”

“It’s uhm, it’s kyungsoo.”

“O- Kyungsoo! Ah, sorry I didn’t recognize your voice. How’d you get my number?”

“It’s okay, Jongdae gave it to me. Is this a bad time? A-are you busy?”

“No no, Your timing is impressive actually, I just came out of the shower.”

“Maybe, Well I was wondering, could I ask a favour? Please?”

“What kind of favour?”

“Is it really okay?”

“Kyungsoo it’s fine.” There’s a husky breath of air on the other line and Kyungsoo assumes that the other is laughing

“Well…Am I in any way allowed to enter the university right now??”

Junmyeon’s laughing dies down and it’s replaced by a surprised tone “What?”

“I’m uhm, I’m outside right now and I didn’t really expect the gates to be closed…”

“Wait, why? Are you here to see Jongin? That goof he should’ve at least-“

“Oh no no, I’m actually…” Kyungsoo swallows, hoping to swallow down the nervousness bubbling in his stomach as well “…here to see Krystal.”

A few rustles echoe on the other end of the line followed by the sound of a door opening and shutting closed “Krystal? I haven’t seen her at all, I can’t guarantee you that she’s here…”

“Oh, it’s fine I just, uhm, there’s something she left at the bakery, a textbook of some sort and I was wondering that maybe she’d need it.”

“Ah…well just stay put, I’m on my way. They won’t open the gate for outsiders but you could come in as my visitor.”

“Really? Thank you so much Junmyeon-ah, I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Junmyeon chuckles “There’s no need. I’m almost there , I can see you.”

When a click signals the end of the call Kyungsoo immediately lifts his gaze up to find a distant figure from the other side of the gate jogging its way up to where he stands. He presumes it’s Junmyeon and waves his hand in the air, earning a brief wave back before the said boy proceeds to talk to the female in a uniform who is guarding the gates. Kyungsoo waits patiently on his spot, nervously clutching onto his bag and tiptoeing in an attempt to take a peek at the two conversing before he hears metals clank and screech, the gates finally opening. He squeezes himself in, bowing towards the woman several times before following Junmyeon deeper into campus.

“I can’t thank you enough” He says as they walk side by side. It’s pleasantly quiet at this time of the night, save for the faint whistles and shouts of the coaches standing wide awake in the far off university field, training their teams.

Junmyeon smiles, eyes set on the pathway in front of him while he tucks his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “Nah. It’s really no big deal. I was just getting ready for bed anyway.”

Kyungsoo turns wide eyes towards him “Oh no, I’m depriving you of valuable sleeping time.”

Junmyeon laughs at that, ruffling the other’s hair “Don’t be silly. So what is it you’re going to return to Krystal?”

“I-it’s uh, it’s in my bag” Please don’t ask me to take it out please, please, please.

“Hm, what subject?” God damn it. What do doctors study.

“Uhm…Anatomy?”

“Ah…yeah she’ll need that. She at it.” The blonde haired boy laughs again, not noticing the way Kyungsoo’s shoulders sag in relief. Pat yourself on the back soo, you got this.

“There’s the lady’s dorm.” Junmyeon points towards one of two identical, plain looking buildings “Right across is the boy’s dorm. I’ll be there if you need me.”

Kyungsoo searches the lighted windows and his eyes brighten up once it falls on one in particular located at the third floor. He shyly points towards it. “That’s Jongin’s room, i-if I…if I remember correctly.” A pretty blush decorates his cheeks and Junmyeon shakes his head with a smile. These two…

“Yeah. Stalked him?”

“No! No I…We stopped by right before we headed to my house…”

“Right. Well I better head back now, You know where Krys’ room is?

“Actually I’d like some help with that…”

“Third floor, the fourth to the last one located in the hallway to the right of the elevator.”

“Thank you.”

“Oh! By the way…”

Kyungsoo tilts his head.

“Just duck and crawl.”

“…What?”

“Just duck and crawl!” the blond shouts back, already on his way.

“Duck and crawl what!?”

But Junmyeon is already out of sight.

***

Just duck and crawl.

Oh.

Kyungsoo feels a little stupid to have overlooked one tiny important detail about a lady’s dorm and it’s the obvious fact that only ladies are allowed.

He stares at the front desk where a bored looking woman stands guard and he thinks, duck and crawl.

Kyungsoo is currently looking like a scared hamster crouched right beneath her desk, away from her line of sight, crawling slowly and carefully towards the hallway where he could walk freely without having to duck. Considering she’s not doing a very good job guarding the entrance (too engrossed in the latest issue of Ceci magazine), it doesn’t take long before Kyungsoo is scurrying down the hall, climbing up the flight of stairs towards Krystal’s room. 

His prayers are answered when none of the girls of the dorm leave their room and catch him tiptoeing his way across the unlit hallway, otherwise it would have most probably ended with a ton of screaming to disturb the peaceful night along with maybe a few violent slaps to his cheek.  He places a hand over his heart and exhales once he stands in front of what Junmyeon had pointed out as Krystal’s room.

He then stares at the door, furrowing his eyebrows in contemplation. Krystal…we need to talk, he rehearses in his mind repeatedly until it becomes a mantra in his head. He’s not really sure what he expects the red head’s reaction to be, his options are along the lines of:

A.She’d push him out the window out of rage

B.She’d hear him out and think things through

C.She wouldn’t even open the door.

Clearly, there were more bads to this situation than goods, but Kyungsoo tries to rattle away the negativity, convincing himself that this was his way of helping Jongin, this was his way of mending broken bridges and reconnecting old ties. He hopes that words are as powerful as everyone says them to be, he hopes that everyone’s advice to ‘just talk’ would prove to be greatly useful.

He reaches out to knock on the door once, but like the many other knocks that have landed on Krystal’s door since a few days ago, it goes unanswered. Looking around he suddenly hears a loud burst of giggles and the soft shuffling of feet, it makes him panic a little, widening his eyes knowing all too well that in any minute now one of these doors is going to burst open and out will flow the ladies in their nightwear. He suddenly presses himself to Krystal’s door and knocks frantically, his hand gripping onto the handle and twisting it with much force fully expecting it to be locked.

But it’s not.

He stumbles in, the door swinging open right on his first attempt. The creek it emits is the only sound that breaks the eerie silence inside but once it stops, Kyungsoo stills. He regains his balance, standing straight and carefully, quietly closes the door behind him, eyes never leaving the room in front of him.

It’s dark, but the faint glow of the moonlight from the glass window illuminates the room enough for Kyungsoo to make out edges, shapes and figures in the dark. He scans his surroundings, everything is so frighteningly still.

When his eyes eventually grow accustomed to the darkness, he is able to point out the basic arrangement of things in the room. Firstly there’s a bed stuck to the wall by the far left corner, opposite to it seems to be a desk with papers and notebooks scattered all over. Kyungsoo looks down and catches sight of a mug of pens and pencils lying on the floor, scattered as though someone had pushed it down there deliberately. His eyes travel to the few framed posters hanging slightly askew on the wall, most of them pictures of ballet shows.

He quietly takes a step forward, craning his neck and squinting his eyes to make sure that the bed is empty. He confirms that it is but then he also confirms another handful of scattered papers carelessly thrown on top of it. He tilts his head, approaching closer and soon figuring out that they weren’t papers, they were photographs. He picks one up and stands by the window, tilting it towards the light in order to see.

It’s only half a picture it seems, the other half torn apart, probably lying somewhere in the pile on the bed. He examines it closely and finds that it’s a picture of Jongin, the tanned boy poised in a perfect ballet position that Kyungsoo will never in his life know the name of. A faint smile grows on his lips, until he notices the hand attached to Jongin’s shoulder. The hand cuts off to the portion of the picture that’s torn so Kyungsoo can’t really tell who it belongs to. He quickly turns back towards the picture stack, picking another one up, he sees that it’s one of Krystal this time, taken when she was a little younger it seems judging by the braces she wore and the wild blond hair. Again, it’s torn, and the owner of the familiar tanned arm slung around her shoulder in the picture is missing. He picks up another one and it’s a picture of Krystal, another one it’s a picture of Jongin, another one Krystal, another one Jongin…

It doesn’t take a genius to know that they’re all torn apart pictures of the two bestfriends together.

Kyungsoo furries his brows. A chill runs down his spine and something about the current situation causes him goosebumps, the hairs on his skin standing on their ends.

He searches for a light switch, walking around aimlessly, both his hands on the wall feeling his way through-

But then a sound catches his attention the moment he takes a step in front of what he assumes to be the dorm room’s bathroom, and he freezes.

Water?

He looks down to his feet and finds a puddle of water. Not just one circle of it, but a trail leading to the door to his right. He eyes it warily, wondering how he had not noticed it when he first entered.

When he finds the light switch he turns it on, his eyes squinting at the sudden brightness that envelops the room. What he sees however, leaves him in a slight state of shock.

It was a mess.

There are papers, photographs, books, and all kinds of things scattered on the floor. The drawers are open and there are a few teddy bears thrown to the floor, some even torn open, the cotton spilling out of them like blood. Close to his feet is a bouquet of flowers, one that was probably supposed to be in the vase that was toppled over. They looked like they had been stomped on and Kyungsoo kneels down giving them a soft caress of his finger causing them to bloom back to life beautifully. He takes a random paper and uses it to pick them up again (afraid to touch them for a second time) along with the vase, carefully arranging it nicely back onto the desk.

It’s when he bends down to touch the flowers that he first catches a glimpse of red. It’s flowing through the puddle that’s trailing to the bathroom and Kyungsoo has to come back, crouch down, and look at it a little more closely to see it again. It’s a thin line of red, flowing like a string leading to the space beneath the bathroom door.

Kyungsoo stares at it hard and long for a while and then something inside him just clicks, and suddenly, his stomach drops, he thinks he skips a heartbeat, and his mind goes blank.

Before he knows it he’s standing, running towards the door and jamming it open because the lock wouldn’t budge. One, two, three slams of his body and he falls in, his hands automatically reaching out to prevent his face from smashing against the cold wet floor. He notices that they make a splash, the sound of water echoing in the tiny bathroom while his entire body is now soaked, the puddle of water from outside leading to a full on pool of one in the inside. He slowly lifts himself up, hissing at the pain in his knees and palms, both from cushioning his fall, and the moment he lifts his eyes to the sight before him, his eyes widen and his jaw drops.

Kyungsoo’s never seen so much red in his life.

He wants to scream. 

A/N: FORGET KYUNGSOO, /I/ WANT TO SCREAM. ohmygod this took me so long bless me. Anyway akl;dfs;dkfjs;fjkls;fjks;lafj;kdslfja;j

hiks not even gonna comment about how much i struggle with writing these days /sighs