chapter seventeen ; 
               furtive

"I think I went overboard."

Jinae sat with a worried look on Myungsoo's lap as she puffed a stick of cigarette. Of course, her peers shot her dumbfounded looks. Surely, those kinds of words coming from a self-proclaimed bad girl like Seo Jinae would really mean that something is off the hook. Chaerin was first to react, followed by Bambam. Their eyes were widened twice as normal size, jaw nearly dropped.

"Are you ing sick, Jinae?"  Chaerin huffed as she eyed the younger before she playfully placed her small palm on Jinae's forehead, just to be swatted away by the annoyed youngster. "You don't usually say those kinds of stuff. Had enough booze for tonight, huh?"

"Shut up, my alcohol tolerance is higher than the Eiffel Tower!" Jinae growled before she dug deep in her denim jacket. The emblem Leo had gifted her not so long ago still, and somewhat, found its way close to Jinae. She couldn't bring to sell it for a high price. She couldn't just give it away. For some reason, it felt attached to her.  Perhaps it's because she did like Leo? No, that's too futile. She's aware if she falls in love or not... and as of now, she can't for some reason.

"She must've had lots of fun in the bed with that guy." Yugyeom began to tease, only to receive a deadly look from the female. "Chill, girl, I was just kidding."

"You must've had lots of booze for tonight." Myungsoo sighs before he snatches the can of beer away from the female, who screeches in annoyance when her drink was brought out of her hand. "Come on, let's go walk around the night. We can, well, make-out too if you want–"

"Can you please take me serious for the first time?" Jinae hissed before she grabbed her drink back, gulping it down until it was empty. When it was, she carelessly and easily crushed it with her bare hands before being thrown on the floor, not even cared if she'll be fined for littering. This is just one minor case. She's had worse ones up her sleeve which she wouldn't even bother to enumerate.

"You're in love with the guy." Jiyoung snickered as he hopped towards the female, grabbing the hand buried deep in her jacket, forcing it to be revealed.

And by revealed, revealed to be holding that old but precious emblem Leo had gifted her. "Oh~ Look what this love-struck lassie's keeping! The emblem her boyfriend had given her!" Jiyoung giggled, only to be followed by a crowd of laughter from the group. Jinae hurriedly retreats her arm, hiding the object she tightly gripped on.

"I thought you're selling that crap?" Krystal asked as she tried snatching the emblem away. When she did though, Jinae fought back, even pushing her away violently, much to Myungsoo's annoyance. 

"Hey, don't push people like that." Myungsoo says in a loud and stern voice as he tried to help Krystal up. "Just because you're sick doesn't mean we'll give you the freedom to do what you will, Jinae."

"Why? Why do you even care? You never did!" Jinae hissed as she scowled her eyebrows. "You never respected an inch of my privacy! You never respect me! Why should I with you? Didn't you say, Myungsoo, that violence is a-okay here? But why now? With Krystal?"

"Jinae, enough–"

"No. No, you shut up, you retard." the female continuously spat. "I'm not that dumb to not notice that you're playing behind my back. Puh-leese, we're all broken here. I precisely know that behind my back, you're making out with Krystal. Heck, you even tried to that Sungjong guy back at your academy... and he's a guy!"

"How did–"

"You deprived idiot, of course I'll know." Jinae scowled before she hissed furiously. "And this emblem? Why am I not selling it? Because I want it to be for myself and myself alone. Not because it's from that stupid Leo, but because I want it! Leave me be, will you?"

"That's it, she's drunk." Bambam laughed, only to make everyone agree. This statement though angers Jinae more, making her grab the baseball bat quietly resting on the table and without hesitation, point it on Bambam, who flinches in both surprise and fear.

"One wrong word and move and I can assure you that your skull's gonna be cracked." Jinae glared. When the blonde nods, she smirks before she puts her "weapon" down, looking at everyone, her eyes sneakily reverting back to normal. One little gesture and everyone knew that she's off to wander herself, soon walking off, carrying the bat with her as she disappeared in the shadow.

Like she always does.

Jinae somewhat found herself walking towards the side of the beautiful Han River. She always found it beautiful. And to be frank, those who don't find this attractive could happily skip their way to an optalmologist to have their eyes checked. Pronto. 

She didn't expect one thing to see there though, and that's Leo.

She hurriedly hid herself behind a large tree, secretly spying Leo as the male somewhat continuously walked towards the river side. Closer and closer until it was dangerously close. It made something in Jinae want to run towards Leo, pull him back and apologize for everything. She usually doesn't feel guilty for breaking hearts, but this time, something made her feel guilt. Extreme guilt, to be exact. She wanted to hug him, apologize and retain one stable relationship.

Jinae's tired. She's tired of all the bad things she's done.

Why'd she begin being a playgirl anyway?

Ah, right, it's because she'll die soon. She better make the best out of things, right? Doing things she can't for the first and last time.

Things soon slowed down and her legs suddenly moved, running towards Leo.

Because..

Leo jumped in the river

Leo felt the cold wind brush him. 

Depression and all the negative emotions had filled him up until the lid. He's about to explode. He's just... too tired. Too tired to even be humane. He just wanted to die and sleep forever. He wanted things over. He wanted things to take a pit stop and him to just curl up into a nice and eternal slumber... where he's with his family, friends and most especially Minhwa.

He knows he can't die.

But maybe... the heavens still have pity on him. Maybe this final time, he'll die.

He can drown himself in the beautiful Han River.

And he will.

He soon realizes that his body was falling forward, into the icy water. His vision was too blurry.

But he saw one final thing before he was greeted by the pitch blackness.

Minhwa's eyes. 

He began coughing violently.

Water splurred out of his mouth as his chest heaved up and down. His vision soon returned as oxygen rushed through him. He was able to breathe again and for now, he can surely feel that tears were spilling down his eyes with the burning sensation he felt in his throat. He felt pain as he breathed in and exhaled. 

And there it was again.

Minhwa's eyes. Staring straight at him. He felt hope and as if light rimmed through the figure holding him close. He felt a pair of familiar hands wrapped around his limp body, somewhat supporting him. He did feel cold, drenched in icy water and brushed continuously and unforgivingly by the cold night wind, but the tight embrace he was trapped in gave him that soothing warmth.

Similar to Minhwa's dear embrace.

Then, it hits him.

"Ji... Jinae?" he softly and desperately called out as his vision cleared.

The figure.

The eyes.

They were similar to Minhwa. And who else would look like her but that badgirl?

"L... eo... Leo... Leo!" the voice echoed through his ears.

But it wasn't Jinae's.

"Hakyeon?" Leo breathed out as his tanned friend's face dangerously close to his. His eyes soon cleared up perfectly before he jolted, only bring pain on his body once more. "Hakyeon! W-what... why are you here? What's going on?" he continuously asked before he felt the latter mutually drenched in water. "Why are you drenched?! What happened? Didn't I tell you not to let yourself get drenched in the rain! Did it rain even...–"

"You idiot! What were you trying to do?!" Hakyeon roared as he grabbed Leo by the hem of his shirt before he tears up completely, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I was so worried! When you... suddenly jumped in the river, I hurried to save you. Thank goodness I passed by or else, who knows where you'll be now! Why would you even do that?!"

"... Why did you save me..." Leo asks in a whisper-tone. "You should've let me die. You should have... let me drown myself in the river. Or at least let me freeze to death."

"Like you can! You're just hurting yourself more and more physically!" Hakyeon growled. "Why are you even doing this?! Is my help not enough?! Am I not enough? Quit being selfish and please, think about the ones you'll leave for once! For once, be sensitive!"

That was enough for Hakyeon to break down into a sobbing mess. Leo felt guilty. Hakyeon's always right, he's been too insensitive for too long already. He didn't really care for the others who try to show him that he's not alone. Those people who actually care and love him, and one being Hakyeon himself. He's been blinded for too much already. 

"I'm sorry. I really am." Leo desperately breathed out as he tries to hug and calm the tanned latter. "I'm sorry I made you worried... and for committing one stupid action. I'm thankful you saved me, Hakyeon. Really. I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"

"... Can I even stay mad at you?" Hakyeon sighs before he slaps Leo. "That's for making me worry!" he pouts.

"I deserved that." Leo smiled sadly before being hugged once more by the weeping male.

Despite the happy moment, one female remaining hidden in the shadows wasn't.

Jinae.

Months withered quickly.

Leo went back into work and miraculously, lived a normal life with Hakyeon and the rest of his friends guarding and helping him. He lived well and better compared from before. Hongbin met this new lady he claims as his girlfriend, and this lovely lassie's named Youngji. Her smile can blind everyone and can bring back sight to the blind. One small smile from that angel-faced lady can bring miracles, to be frank.

Ken has his own love-life too. Some time in the month, Leo and Hakyeon received a photo-text message of Ken with a petite lady, probably younger than him. Hakyeon, being the curious kind, interrogates the other, just to find that he's dating her already. Dohee. That's her name.  The two actually met her face-to-face just two weeks ago and heck, she's even more beautiful in person! Just the perfect height difference between her and Ken, claims one of the best smiles and has this addicting sweet voice. Her eyes were as bright as the twinkling stars painting the inky night sky. 

Ravi? He visited Korea just the other week. Unfortunately, due to his hectic schedule, he had to fly to Japan for a recording with one of the top J-pop singers for his next feature album. Of course, everyone's proud of him!

Hyuk has been invited to a grand restaurant to be the head barista. Of course, the younger hurriedly accepts the invitation and now, this young male's working for one of Korea's five star restaurants as a renowned barista apprentice! Heck, he even go featured just after two weeks passed! Online, even. 

Hakyeon and Leo formed a perfect tandem in the company. Hakyeon has been promoted up in the same level with Leo for their partnership to work out better. The business ran better than expected.

Leo actually forgot Jinae now. He didn't care anymore. Even, he had his mind completely focused on his life, his work and his friends.

But just as when he was trying to do his best to move on.

He sees her again.

Hooking up with another guy with her innocent face.

Leo slowly made his way past the crowd.

But maybe ignoring her is the worst decision.

"Jinae?" he calls out with hesitation as he approaches Jinae, who somewhat got surprised to see a familiar face. "Jinae? Seo Jinae, it is you!" he pretends to smile and call out in joy as he greets her casually, waving his hand at her. "I haven't seen you for quite some time, how are you?"

Jinae had ajar before she coughs awkwardly, putting up that sickening innocent image of hers once again as she linked her arms with the auburn-headed male standing beside her. "Oh... Leo!" she waves back as she grins angelically. Ah, that smile masking a devil is there at it again. "Leo, I haven't seen you for some time neither! I've been fine, thank you! How are you? Your business? Hakyeon and Hongbin?"

"Ah, they're fine. Hakyeon got promoted and Hongbin, well, he's met a well lady to love."  Leo grins back. "You? How are you now? Anything new? I never see you anymore! What're you keeping yourself busy of?"

"Still working in that cafè​ I tell you about, remember?" she smiles, only to make Leo nod slowly. When the atmosphere slowly gets awkward, she pulls the male standing beside her close and looks at him lovingly.

The same way she used to look at Leo.

"This is Jin." she smiles as she introduces the auburn to the silent male. "Kim Seokjin... my boyfriend." she giggles. 

"Nice to meet you, sir." the auburn bows before he stretches a hand to Leo, who receives it warmly. "I heard lots about you from Jinae here. I heard you're a good man! You were once... erm, together, right?"

"Used to be, yes." Leo nodded. "Jinae really has some good tastes, huh? How long are you together now?"

"It's nearing our first and a half month." Jin and Jinae replied in unison, making them both end up laughing. "We're nearing our first and a half month." Jinae smiled sweetly. "Oh, would you like to have lunch with us, Leo? We're heading to this new restaurant."

"No, I should head back to work now. I've got fifteen minutes left and if I'm not back exactly at that time, Hakyeon will give me one boring sermon. I'd love to join you, but maybe next time, yes?"

"Sure!" Jinae nodded. "Sounds good, Jin?"

"Most definitely." Jin nodded.

"Perfect! You two have a wonderful day, alright?" Leo smiles before he eyes Jin. "Oh, and Seokjin, be sure to not make any deadly mistakes with this lady, okay? You don't know what she can do or who she is." she says– warns– to the auburn, just to catch a glimpse of annoyance and threat from Jinae. He brushes this off and simply, heads off.

Something will happen, he can feel it.

But what?