chapter eleven ; 
               petrichor

The ambience greatly changed right after a few days of his confession.

Leo got in contact with Hongbin after quite a while and obviously, the dimpled waiter is fully aware of the new things happening as of right now. Leo actually foresaw Hongbin being all constricted by the green, one-eyed, snake-like monster they address as "jealousy", but no. The dimpled waiter still has manners and breeding. Instead, he greets the severely depressed immortal with a bright smile, as if nothing even happened. 

Hongbin appeared... effervescent. It was weird to see the lad like that. 

Leo didn't see Jinae around the cafè that day. He wanted to ask Hongbin where the young lady had lurked this time, but recalling the fact and the possibilities that Hongbin might still be suffering some post-pain from the previous break-up, Leo simply keeps his mouth shut. 

Leo somewhat felt that Hongbin saw him as a nemesis now.

"How's Jinae these days?" he heard Hongbin ask, which makes him nearly choke on his drink. After composing himself yet again, he wipes the corner of his mouth with a clean tissue before locking eyes with the dimpled latter. He slowly tries to crack a soft and faint smile at him before he tried to let go of a proper response.

"She's doing fine. I'm watching her well, being sure that she's not exposed to too much work loads and so." Leo reported, the smile not leaving his face. 

"She hasn't gone here for quite a while now." Hongbin says as he sits down Leo, making the latter tense up a bit. He isn't used to Hongbin's presence too, knowing the fact that the lady he has a small infatuation has her ex-boyfriend sitting next to him. He never felt tensed around the angelic male, but as the fact of, he does now. "Is her health in well condition? Does she continuously push herself beyond the borders? Is she taking daily medication?", questions were showered on the poor panicking Leo. He didn't exactly know how to respond well without showing hints that he has a shaky tone right now. 

"I suppose she is." Leo answers in a softer tone. "She doesn't look pale that much anymore. She also told me that she's visiting the hospital as frequent as she can to get her medications. I make sure that her health condition doesn't diminish, don't worry." he reported.

"That's excellent." Hongbin smiles, grabbing the tray and standing up before he brushes himself. "Be sure to take good care of Jinae, alright, Leo? I bet you'll do a good job– no, a great job guarding and looking out for her much as I did before."

"Don't try and be silly, Bin." Leo chuckled, calling Hongbin by his college nickname by reflex. Ah, yes, he used to call Hongbin that way when they were in college. Everyone called him that. Hongbin responded with felicity and turned around, a bright expression patched on his fair face. By the looks of it, hearing his nickname was something pleasant to hear once in a while. "You did... a great job with Jinae too, you know. Everyone has their own ways and paces."

"I suppose so." Hongbin nodded, still smiling. "You still talk like our counselor, Leo. Makes me think why you refused to be a psychologist. You could've helped tons of problematic teens." 

"I guess the most damaged individuals are really the wisest." Leo snickered as he stood up, preparing to leave the place with his latte. Grabbing his paperworks and his laptop. After bidding his goodbye to his comrade, he exits the door, emitting a chime-like sound as he goes out. Hongbin could only smile as he watches Leo leave...

But the bliss doesn't last that long.

The memory of Jinae still standing beside him is continuously lingering deep down in his heart. He could still freshly remember how Jinae sounded so cheery and on how she would worry over him... ironic because she is the sickly one. He could still see and feel Jinae's aura, whom he, in some way, had loved ever so dearly. 

He missed Jinae.

But things continue on. Things just don't pause at that one scene of one's life.

Nor did the customers and orders. Hongbin recalled that there's still an order at table seven. One caramel milk tea and a slice of blueberry cheesecake.

Jinae could only sit on her soft, lavander colored bed. The cerulean walls her parents had painted her bedroom walls gave an extremely calming ambience, which the doctors had agreed to give her more relaxation especially after therapy sessions and medications. Stress is her great foe so none of the people who care for her deeply would let stress conquer even one percent of her being. They would do anything to keep Jinae well and healthy, both physically and mentally... and emotionally.

Her eyes were locked on the talisman Leo had given her days ago. It shone a pretty gold color, despite its obvious age of a hundred or more years. It had a few rust in it, but that didn't bother her a bit. 

It sounded so blithe. Receiving a gift form some stranger she could recall meeting on her way to work back then. She could reminisce that memory where in Leo suddenly popped out of no where and hugged her from behind, calling her "Minhwa".

Minhwa. She recalled that polychromatic painting hung on the walls of Leo's house. That lady... really shared the same similar features with her. From their perfectly molded eyes up to those luscious cheekbones of hers. They were perfectly the same. It was as if she was the one on the canvas. It was as if her picture is on the canvas itself. 

But it's another lady. A lady who lived and died centuries ago. A lady she didn't even get a chance to meet. Reincarnation, was it? Could it be possible that whatever Leo had explained to her be true? No. It's going against science. There's no exact proof whether reincarnation things are even true! It might just be a coincidence that they were born with the same physical features.

The emblem caught her eye again. As a talisman, it has done no good luck charms so far. If it were to be a good luck charm or some sort, she was kind of expecting her cancer to be gone. Forever. But hey, maybe her standards were just too high.

Her mind was getting clouded. This is not good.

Maybe a walk would do the trick. And maybe a strawberry ice cream too.

Or maybe some taro bubble tea.

Something sweet and a good walk in the peaceful park ought to do the right trick and click.

The morning star radiated brighter than any normal day. Jinae could be quite capricious. She originally planned to just get something sweet like ice cream or drink something like bubble tea but by the next eleven minutes of realization, she found herself loathing around the center square, merged in the busy crowds going to and fro. How'd she even get in the crowd in the first place?

"Jinae!" she hears an awfully familiar voice call out. As expected, it was Leo, who was waving his hand at her. Smiling, she waves back, a sweet smile to greet the male a great morning. She was just about to speak when Leo got her first, throwing her questions and so, hints of fretting visible from the tone of his voice. "Aren't you supposed to be resting? You told me last time that your doctor advised you to have some rest."

"I am resting." Jinae chortled as she eyed the taller male. "And what about you? Aren't you supposed to be at work?" she asked, poking the taller's shoulders. Leo only laughed. 

"I took a day's break again." Leo replied. "Hakyeon told me to rest. He's the type of guy to get easily worried, you know?"

"Why? Did something happen?"

"Happen? No, I just... had to sort out things in my head." 

"And you're sure that you're okay?"

"Perhaps. Maybe... I don't know. Possibly, yes."

"Alright. And, since you said you have no work, may you be the man to accompany me around the city to relax myself and so? We can also chit-chat about things! What do you say, hm?"

It was as if Leo saw Minhwa coruscating from Jinae. The way she offered him to accompany her was homogenous to Minhwa asking him to walk her around the family garden back then. 

And like always, he simply nods his head and flashes a sweet smile at the fair lady. "That'll be my pleasure."

Time elapsed rather quickly. As they walked around the city of Seoul, they continued to chat about this and that. The day is perfect. The birds sang cheerier than ever, the breeze is perfectly cool, the sun isn't too hot nor bright. The people buzzing to and fro weren't that much, ironic because it's a rather buzzing day yet again in Seoul. Jinae narrated her everyday life rather livelier than usual. Despite being struck with cancer, this young lady still finds a way to live her life to the fullest and to the best.

Soon enough, the duo arrives at the park, just like what Jinae desired. It didn't make the atmosphere awkward whenever any of them utter Minhwa's name. It was... something they kind of grew on now.

The tension is quite fatal now. 

"Tell me more about Minhwa." Leo would often hear from Jinae. Once he turns his head around, he would spot the female eyeing the emblem he had gifted to her days ago intensely. For some reason, a spark of interest could be reflected from Jinae's life-filled black orbs. "I want to know more about her."

"Haven't I explained much yet?" Leo snickered under his breath as he leaned back before pointing at the emblem. "Do you always carry that?"

"This? Well, of course. It's my lucky charm now." she grinned as she closed her small palm and locked the small golden object in it. "As long as I am aware that it's with me, I feel safe and in accordance to the luck's game."

"I see." Leo nods.

"How come Minhwa wasn't granted luck when she carried this along?" she asks as she unfolds her hands once again, letting the latter grant access to seeing it again. "Was it  something that went against it? Something that made it a curse?–"

"No. It's just a play of fate." Leo answered quickly, not wanting to reminisce anything as of now. "She died not because her talisman didn't work. It's a play of fate. She was destined to die and she did die... and yes, it might be painful but it has to happen."

"I'm sorry for bringing that up." Jinae frowned. "... Do you have a talisman of your own?"

"... Yes." he answered, hesitant. "It pairs yours but yes, I have one. It quite dull, not granting me any luck so far and all."

"Oh, I'm sure it will be granted soon!"

"Hopefully."

Jinae's eyes wandered down at Leo's arms. She had just noticed... Leo often wears long sleeves despite the weather. He never wore short sleeved tops, seemingly hiding his arms away... or something away. She wasn't exactly precise on what lies underneath those sleeves.

But now, she knew.

"Leo," she calls out in a soft, petite voice. Her sweet, honey-like voice captures Leo's hearing in an instant, and quickly, the male turns around to face the female. He sees Jinae pointing at his arms, eyes flashing curiosity. It was something typical, but something in them shouted that something would be off by a matter of minutes or worse, seconds. "What... what lies underneath those sleeves?"

"What makes you ask so?" Leo chuckled timidly as he held his arms, particularly his wrists. It shocked him that Jinae asked something like that out of the blue, but pulling his arm close to her without permisson surprised him more. "Hey–!"

Leo watched Jinae's eyes grow wider. She was staring at those ugly scars he had inflicted on himself due to extreme depression. Jinae's expression stiffened as she slowly pries her eyes away from his cuts, eyeing the male bravely straight to the eyes. "Leo, are you cutting yourself? You've got so many scars! Why do you cut? Are you suffering things beyond my knowledge?"

"I–"

"I've shared lots with you, can you not share something like this to me as well? I mean, what might be worse than my situation?"

"None, I suppose." Leo answered softly. "I'm suffering depression, Jinae. A severe case. It was born due to Minhwa's death. It grew bigger and bigger until it became worse and a lot more dangerous. I felt lost and empty after Minhwa's death and even if a thousand centuries or a millenium passes, I just can't get to forget her. I just...well,  I grew angry and lost."

"... No one was there to guard you or at least listen to you then?"

"Hakyeon was there." Leo replied. "And is still there. He's probably the only one I've got now... excluding you."

"How about your other friends?"

"I wouldn't want to bother them."

Jinae nodded and leaned back, looking up at the sky. "You know, my mom used to tell me stories when I was younger." she hears Leo begin, making her side eye the male, who was somewhat staring up at the blue sky as well. "When she was still alive, or at least before she was assassinated, she told me to live my life to the fullest no matter what. She also told me that memories are the best gifts ever given to mankind.

It's a curse for me though. Funny as it sounds, it is extremely something I despise." 

"Leo..."

"I want to forget the past. I want to move on." Leo breathed out, and based on the eyes he is wearing now, he was holding back his tears. "I want to place Minhwa away from the life I have now. I don't want to live the whole eternity being sad over someone who's gone!"

"Then let me help." Jinae mumbled softly as she wrapped her small hands over Leo's big hands. They felt warm, yet they were rough. Too rough that it somewhat didn't feel right. Jinae was used to Hongbin's soft, plushy hands. Leo's were a lot of a different level and kind. 

But that isn't something she should focus on as of now. She wanted to help the immortal get over his dead beloved. "Leo, let me help you." she pleaded, smiling sweetly at the male. "You told me that you like me right? And you told me... that you'd help me change my life. Change my past, to be exact, as if it never even occurred. You told me... that you'd make it seem that I don't even have cancer. That I never even got it before."

"And how can you help me forget the past, Jinae?" Leo questioned, desperation flashing through his charcoal orbs, tears on the corners of his eyelids. "How?"

"Fix your eyes on me." Jinae smiled. "You helped me with Hongbin, and I never said I don't like you. You might be the one. I might learn to love you, and better, I might actually have hidden feelings for you. Focus on me now and maybe, just maybe, you'll have your mind off of Minhwa now."

"Jinae..."

"Can't we try? Nothing bad'll happen, right? As long as we keep our promises." she beamed as she tightened her grip on Leo's hand. Leo obviously felt and loved the sensation of having Jinae's hands over his. It was as if... they were Minhwa's. As if he was holding Minhwa's hands again.

"And what if I hurt you?" Leo asked, fear heard. "What if I never forget Minhwa? What if you fall in love with me for real and I don't? What if those happen?"

"Then I'm taking my own responsibility since I proposed this idea." Jinae laughed as she finally lets go, standing up and again, reaching out for Leo's huge hands. "What do you say? In my situation now, doing crazy and impossible things would definitely shoot in my bucket list."

Leo simply sat there, staring at her, not knowing what to do or say.

"Jung Leo, I'm waiting."

"What?"

"I'm asking your permission to be your girl." she giggled cheekily. The words she had just delivered only worsened Leo's now growing mental breakdown. "Well, do you permit me?"

And well, this girl is dying at who-knows-when, so might as well do crazy things with her, right?

And he promised to always walk beside her down the crazy days she has left.

"Alright." Leo smiled brightly, taking Jinae's hands and nodding. "From now on, I'll be your man. You best keep your vows, Seo Jinae."

"Only if you do, Leo."

"Are you joking? That's my job."