chapter twelve ; 
               scintilla

Hakyeon's eyes were fixed on Leo. 

After noticing that this latter had rarely come to work for the past few days, he began tapping his fingers on the desk, making small and faint sounds. Yes, Hakyeon could admit that he is quite good in searching for a denoument of things, but this time, he can't see to see through Leo's eyes. 

And ironic as it sounds, he is capable of doing that any time he desires. 

Funny.

Hakyeon could recall the fact that Leo doesn't really look at people's eyes. He hated eye contact for some reason. 

And that included him. Leo never made a long eye contact with Hakyeon. Sure, he does look at his eyes, but it would often last for a good two to three seconds before he averts away, locking his attention to something else or letting his mind fly over here and there. It's as if his attention given to Hakyeon is ephemeral. 

Hakyeon could never look at Leo's eyes for too long since the other would look away the next three seconds. "Leo, how're you and Jinae?" he decides to foolishly ask. Upon he perceived what he had just asked, Hakyeon could only hit himself mentally, cursing at himself with all the curse words he could think of. But what's done is done, thus, he is left with the option of waiting for a response, which was quite nerve-wrecking.

"What made you ask so, Hakyeon?" Leo asks as he eyes his best friend with curious eyes. "You never ask me about my relationship status or so before. Is something wrong?"

Hakyeon needed a diversion. He needs to switch the topic to something else and quick. "Nothing." he decides to shrug, smiling as if nothing is actually wrong. "Can't I get curious about stuff too, Leo?"

"I was just weirded out. You rarely ask people about things such as those." the frequently seen quiet worker smiles sweetly before he averts his attention back to his laptop. Yet again, he refuses to hold a long eye contact with Hakyeon, who was rather pleased that Leo didn't see through things. Well, now that is over, he now had a new problem– he was dead curious over things between Leo and Jinae.

Well, being a best friend he is towards the male, he wanted to know things, right? Their closeness meant that no secrets must be kept. "But yeah, can you share things between you and Jinae, hm?" he smiled as he hopped towards his busy ally, who shot him a glare good for one nanosecond. Noticing his friend's silent response, Hakyeon laughs nervously before he rubs his nape. "Well, can you?"

"What makes you curious over that though, Hakyeon?" Leo asks back, eyeing him with a judging aura.

"Nothing! It's just... well, nothing. I just want to know."

"... Is Hongbin asking you so? Did he ask you to ask me what's between me and Jinae?"

"What? No. I'm just curious and I want to know it for myself." Hakyeon pouts. "I want to know, Leo. I don't want that day where you're getting married and I have no clue of such! I don't want to be the clueless guy in your wedding day!"

"Woah there, Hakyeon. I'm not yet getting married, okay?" 

"That's why tell me! I'm darn curious, you idiot!"

Leo could only laugh on how childish Hakyeon seemed. Averting his attention away from the laptop and to Hakyeon, he leans back his chair, eyes fixed on the window behind Hakyeon. "Alright, alright, but be sure to contain whatever emotion will explode, okay?" he warned, which Hakyeon nods to. "You see, me and Jinae... we're in a relationship now."

"What?!" Hakyeon nearly shouted. "Since when? How? Tell me–"

"I told you, contain your emotions!" Leo hissed as he slapped his hand over the tanned male's mouth. Upon seeing that Hakyeon had finally calmed down, he lets go and plops back down, sighing and running his fingers through his jet black hair. "But yes, we're in a relationship. Officially in a relationship."

"But... Jinae." Hakyeon trembled. "I-isn't she a cancer patient, Leo? That means... she'll die eventually even if she gets chemotheraphy."

Leo recalled the fact that he told that Jinae is a cancer patient before. He smiled idiotically upon the thought. He recalled on how Hakyeon was nervously pacing around his living room, crying out words that reflected his worry and panic on how Jinae's days are counted down. And now, with the fact that Leo had entered a drop-dead relationship with Jinae, the unpredictable female cancer patient, who knows what trouble Leo has in store, right? Yes, Hakyeon worries about worse things, but due to those constant panic attacks brought by Leo's careless suicidal tries, Hakyeon worries even about the slightest things. "Leo, what if she dies too? That might bring you into a deeper and darker world! If you're going to pick a girlfriend, at least let it be someone who won't die the next second! Someone you can grow old with, not someone who might die in a matter of seconds or minutes." Hakyeon frowned.

"At least she won't die with me not protecting her. Because, let's face it, Hakyeon. I can't win cancer in this round." Leo explained. "But at least, if ever she dies... it's because of a sickness and not because of me being an absent minded jerk."

"But you aren't, Leo." Hakyeon debated. "Whatever happened to Minhwa before isn't because of you. She was fated to die like that, no matter how painful it might seem."

Leo simply sighed as he took out his own talisman, eyeing the golden object on his large palms. Luck never existed, nor did misfortune. It's just a series of events in one individual's life. No charms or spells can make one man or woman avoid things they extremely despise. Either they run from it or they face it and learn from it.

Same goes with pain. People change for two reasons: either they have been hurt too much or they learn from it. 

Leo? Possibly because he's been hurt too much. Who on earth could last to live happily with dark memories lingering in their head? No one, right? If only they can forget.

"I appreciate your help, Hakyeon." Leo smiles as he eyes his paperworks, which were just in front of Hakyeon. By that way, he can feel like he is staring at Hakyeon himself indirectly. He never liked eye contact. He wonders why... "I am sure that the woman you'll love will be the luckiest lady alive." he softly says.

Hakyeon froze in place before he decides to nod, smiling faintly as he continues to gaze at his best friend. "But Leo, I'm not looking for a girl." he laughs, which Leo snickers back.

"Lay off from work, okay? Or else you'll not find your lady love."

With that, Leo and Hakyeon hears the office phone ring, which Leo hurriedly answers. After a few seconds of silence, Leo bids his goodbye to who ever was on the other line before he stands up, grabbing a few papers and documents and a pen. "The boss called me for a meeting." Leo reported, making Hakyeon nod again. "Do me a favor and do these paper works for me, Hakyeon?" he angelically smiles as he hands him a white folder, which Hakyeon gladly receives.  Once Leo handed him so, he exits his own office, heading to the meeting room. 

Hakyeon could only feel his moist lips. He felt alone as he watched Leo leave the room. 

"The woman you'll love will be the luckiest lady alive." Hakyeon could still hear Leo's words from earlier echo in his head. He didn't smile. There was nothing to smile for. Not because he's not prioritizing ladies and love life for now, no, definitely not the reason. 

Nor was it because he had no ladies in mind.

Why is love so bittersweet? 

"If only you knew, Leo." Hakyeon snickered as he watched his friend's back before he finally decides to work on the paperworks Leo assigned him with.

Hakyeon didn't actually expect Jinae to fetch Leo from their working place today. After Leo went with Jinae down the streets of Seoul, Hakyeon decides to go home as well, knowing that after the sun sets, darkness would be his number one enemy. He had to get back to his condo-unit before dusk falls, but since he still has a few minutes to spare, he decides to stop for a hot drink, which was where Sanghyuk works.

Right upon arriving there, he was greeted by the cheerful younger, who was busy bringing orders here and there. Upon seeing the older, he instantly ends his current order spree and welcomes him warmly. Hakyeon smiles back and gets the nearest seat to the window before he asks for the menu list.

"It's odd to find you wandering around without Leo-hyung." he hears a side comment. Looking up, he sees Sanghyuk, grinning like an idiot as he held a small notebook and a blue pen in between his slender fingers. He was dressed neatly in his waiter uniform and his hair was oddly yet neatly fixed. Things just don't change. "What can I get you, hyung?" he asks.

"Ah, the usual drink and a slice of this Boston Cream Pie."

"Alright. Anything else?"

"No. I'm good."

Hakyeon smiled as Sanghyuk leaves with his written order. He scans the place in hopes that there are a few familiar faces to see and when he ends up seeing none, he grabs his pocketbook from his bag and begins to read it. Soon enough, he was to engulfed in the book, not even noticing the figure walking towards him.

He only did when he heard Sanghyuk cry out a familiar name.

Hakyeon nearly jumped from his seat when he felt a pair of hands fall on his small shoulders. He hurriedly turns around, only to see a male figure with shades covering his eyes. His golden-brown hair is obviously grown in a shaggy yet stylish way. A familiar smile was patched on his face and when he began talking in a deep voice.

"Hey, Hakyeon." the stranger chirped brightly as he waved casually.

Hakyeon nearly threw his beloved book away in both surprise and joy of seeing a person he hasn't seen since their college days. "Ravi!" he nearly shouted in the place before he shoots up and literally wraps his arms around Ravi, smiling widely. "Ravi! It really is you, isn't it?"

"Sure is." Ravi grinned before he gets out of Hakyeon's hug and sits across him. "Is it just you here? Where's Leo and Hongbin? And Ken?"

"Leo had some... things to do. Hongbin's working, I guess. Same goes with Ken." he answers before Sanghyuk arrives at their table, bringing Hakyeon's order. "Ah, thanks, Hyuk."

"Anything I can get you, Ravi-hyung?" Sanghyuk asks as he offers him the menu list. 

"Nah, I'm good. I had a light snack along the way." Ravi grinned. "But maybe Café au lait. That's all." Ravi smiled, which Sanghyuk takes down before he leaves, mouthing something that says "I'll join you men in a few minutes."

Even without Sanghyuk, the two were busy chatting, making up for the lost time they had after college. Right after graduating, Ravi instantly focused in his music career. It was rare to see him too, being a growing musician whose goal is to make a mark in every place he goes. So far, Ravi has been successful on that. He's visited a few countries and places outside Korea, which he takes pride in. Based on the packages he's been sending his friends for the past few months, he's quite the luxurious man already, being both a traveler and a growing musician. "So, how's your career so far? I've purchased your latest album a few weeks ago and I must say, it's a work of art." Hakyeon says as he sips his Macchiato. 

"It's going smooth, no worries." Ravi answers with a grin. "I'm going on a tour our Japan by the next two months. So far, I've got this month and the next as my free time so I decided to stop by here in Seoul and be reunited with a few familiar faces."

"It's really a shock to have you pop out of no where." Hakyeon laughed. "It's been years since I've seen you face-to-face! Have you been toning your muscles more, huh? You seem to get a bit slimmer too! Must be tiring, huh?"

"Tell me about it." he laughed. "Oh, and before I forget! I'm actually going to have a collaboraton with a few Korean musicians! Look forward to it, okay?"

"Sure will!"

Ravi nods and eyes the book in Hakyeon's hands. He hasn't changed, Hakyeon is still that same bookworm he is. "Say, are you and Leo still in close terms? It's weird to find you strolling around places by your own and without Leo."

"He's busy with his... well, lady." Hakyeon says, emphasizing the word "lady" clear. Ravi nearly choked on his spit before having his eyes twice larger than its normal size. 

"What? Since when? Who? Where?" Ravi's questions were like shots from a machine gun being directed at Hakyeon. "Is she pretty? Korean? Where did they meet? How?!"

"I don't know neither. He just told me this morning that he has a relationship with a girl." Hakyeon snickered. "But... it's kind of weird since, well, I should feel happy for him."

Ravi scowls for a moment before Sanghyuk finally comes and joins then, still dressed in his waiter outfit. Hakyeon waited until the younger could finally cope up with Ravi's long absence, being clingy with him and chatting with him about this and that. Ravi simply laughs, seeing that the younger is as cute as before. After Ravi told Sanghyuk about Leo's girlfriend, he got the same response he did earlier. Right after that, they avert their attention back to Hakyeon's statement earlier. "Wait, why aren't you happy though?" Ravi asks.

Hakyeon fell in an average length of silence before deciding to respond with an unsure shrug. "I guess I know." Sanghyuk laughed hysterically. "Hyung must be jealous over that lady Leo-hyung is with." he chuckled, making Ravi laugh along. With the two latters laughing, Hakyeon was abnormally quiet as he slowly turns his eyes over here and there.

"He can't seriously be jealous over a lady." Ravi laughed. "Why? Because she's stealing his best friend away from him?"

Hakyeon found a reason to use on why he did feel something similar to jealousy upon learning the fact that Leo has Jinae now. But he wasn't exactly sure if that was exactly the reason. It was something... deeper than that, perhaps. He wasn't sure himself.

He simply locked his eyes on the half empty Macchiato he has and his Boston Cream Pie, which he hasn't moved yet. Slowly he leaned back, making eye contact with Ravi and Sanghyuk yet again. "Well, I'm not sure myself, so, who knows." Hakyeon beams.

Whilst this, they continue to talk about nonsense things.

The question on why exactly Hakyeon was feelings "something like jealousy" coarse through him retained in his head. 

He was always there for Leo.

But now, Jinae has taken his place  out of the blue. 

He felt it spark in him.

And then he finally knew the reason.

It's because he liked Leo more than as a friend. More than a best friend. Something.... similar to a strong infatuation perhaps.

Ah, right.

He nearly forgot.

He's always been gay for Leo.