I've been trying to post this for weeks, but never really got done with it. I'm sorry, it's been over a month now ._. But I'm in my final year of junior high and my teacher obviously hates me because I have so many tests going on right now. I'm done in two weeks time, so as soon as the exams have passed, I'll have two weeks of holiday!

Also, you might notice that I've changed the names! I'm more comfortable writing it that way, sorry if you don't like it that way ._.

Seokjin would have loved to brag all about how he overpowered the sleeping maknae, got up and found the most interesting things that would totally make him win. However, that would be a total lie. He would probably just have said that anyways if not for the circumstances, though. He was now on camera at all times, not to mention he actually had to show proof. It proved one difficult situation indeed. So he decided to just give up first as last, and came in empty-handed. He could just wave that Starbucks goodbye already. So close, yet so far away.

The place where they were supposed to meet wasn’t just some random spot picked because it looked okay. No, as Seokjin arrived – without anything, not to mention – there was some arrangement set up. Seven big chairs – looking rather like thrones – were set up in a U-shape. In the middle a bon-fire was prepared, though not lit. Stakes with lanterns hung atop of them were placed where it fit, and Seokjin honestly thought it looked rather barbaric. Well, if he was supposed to sit in one of those thrones, he supposed it was okay.

As they all met up on the beach, one person was missing. It was only ten minutes until they were supposed to start the broadcast – Namjoon had been informed that this would go live, it was embarrassing even doing it, but now the whole world could see it as well. The viewers would vote for the best entry, and that person would get one thing sent to them. It was quite simple, really.

And two minutes before it all was supposed to start, Taehyung came running (without the stupid goat, thank god).

In total, three people came without looking like they had done anything. Seokjin of course, since he didn’t even bother to try to get Jungkook off him as Namjoon just watched. Namjoon, who no one had even expected to get anything. And then Taehyung, who didn’t just come in empty-handed, but empty as in… underwear.

“Do I want to know?” Hoseok asked as he sighed, having woven and sewn something out of big leaves. It looked weirdly comfortable even though no one was willing to admit that except the creator himself. At least he had done something.

“No, you don’t,” Namjoon replied, answering before Taehyung had the time to open his mouth. Taehyung ignored that comment, and walked past them and up to the thrones.

“I want this one,” he pointed at the middle on, sitting down and making himself comfortable.

“Uh, but… yeah, whatever I guess.” Namjoon was about to point out that they had been assigned seats already, but something told him that Taehyung wouldn’t want to go of that chair willingly, and he was so not taking that fight. Instead he walked up and took the seat on Taehyung’s right, which in theory belonged to Jimin. Luckily Jimin was in his own, cosmic world and didn’t even care to quarrel. He just quietly went up, taking the seat of Taehyung on the far left. The others followed leisurely, sitting down on their designated seats. The order ended up being Jimin, Hoseok, Seokjin, Taehyung, Namjoon, Yoongi and Jungkook from left to right. Why the producers had even bothered to give them seats, no one could understand. They were bound to not follow the instructions anyways.

And the broadcast started, as the red light on the cameras and signalized the stream. On a little screen in front of the cameras they sent a show led by… Eric Nam, Namjoon recognized him after a bit. He had been the co-host for one of Eric’s tv-shows in the past, hadn’t he? Why Eric Nam was there, he had no idea though. In the end, he realized this had to be a sending live from studio. Eric kept on talking about how the fans could vote for their favourite and all the other stuff. Namjoon honestly wondered how he managed to smile and keep his spirit up like that – didn’t he ever grow tired and just went to take a nap? A nap, he decided. That’s what he wanted. Eric turned to the camera after showing something on a big monitor, pointing at it. The frame which earlier had covered the whole screen, now turned into a small box in the corner. Instead, the confused faces of Bangtan themselves were showing on the screen. Seokjin, the first to realize they were – in fact – live on, straightened his posture.

“So, how is it going, BTS?” Eric asked as he walked back to his position behind a desk. The setting looked like a crossing between Super Idol Chart Show and After School Club, in Seokjin’s opinion. It had light colours with round, cute designs and seemed very happy.

When it was obvious no one else were going to answer, Yoongi took the problem in his own hands. “It’s great, Eric!” he replied. He wondered for a second how they were supposed to catch his voice – there were no microphones attached to them. Then he saw the small holes in the chairs, and realized they were there instead. As the idiots in the chairs would probably destroy the attachable microphones if they got some, he believed that to be a smart investment. “It’s hot here. Also, we do have some trouble with a certain goat. And Jimin won’t shut up about universal energy. But yeah, it’s great!” Such lies.

Eric nodded as he replied something funny back, directing the conversation to Seokjin instead. “So, what are the difficulties with the show?” he asked jokingly. “Any of the members gotten on your nerves yet?”

And though Seokjin realized this was a superficial question and he wasn’t actually supposed to answer it, but he saw his chance and goddamn it, he took it.

“Our dear maknae, aka Jeon Jungkook. Well, everyone, really.” Seokjin sent a sweet smile to Jungkook on the far right as he answered. When asked about it however, he shook his head before looking up with desperate eyes. “He fell on me and then dozed off on my back! And Namjoon just watched! Also, Taehyung has this crazy obsession with a goat, Jimin keeps trying to get me to eat his vegan pancakes, Hobie won’t listen to my complaints and Yoongi just does yoga!” he expected sympathy, really. But instead, Eric just started laughing. Who would have thought?! Seokjin honestly believed his problems were real, but people just kept on laughing. His problem was no joking matter! But in the eyes of Eric – and probably the viewers as well – it was.

Seokjin was about to oppose the laughing and say that this was actually a very serious thing, but in the end he never got that far. Eric cleverly directed the questions to the next person – who happened to be Taehyung, and Seokjin’s pains were forgotten. Well, by everyone but Seokjin, that was.

After a minute or so of talking though, the contest finally started. And the first to present himself, was Jungkook. The maknae leisurely and half-asleep made his way up to the middle of the place with the thrones surrounding him and looked down on himself. Yawning, he nodded approvingly.

“It’s quite an interesting story actually,” he said, his voice revealing that he was threatening to doze off again. He was clothed in huge, pink petals from a flower, fitting around his chest a waist. It was two flowers in total where the middle had only ben cut out, and they fell down in a weirdly fitting way. “So, after I realized I was sleeping on Seokjin – his head is really uncomfortable by the way – I got up and just walked around. Then I saw this huge tree I wanted to sleep in, but as I tried to climb it I was suddenly trapped in a gigantic flower. It was really weird. Like suddenly I was inside!” he stopped for a second, and Namjoon saw his chance to throw in a short “that’s called a carnivorous plant, Kookie-ah,”

Jungkook turned his head to Namjoon, but didn’t look really surprised. He seemed rather sleepy if anything. “Oh, so that’s what it was. But anyways, I thought it wouldn’t be very comfortable so I got out instead. But then it was dead I realized it could fit around my waist!” he sounded pleased with himself, managing to find stuff without even trying and with minimal effort. When he was done with his presentation, he went back to his seat and Yoongi was the next to describe what the hell his head came up with.

He silently walked up, nodding for himself as he walked around in a hollow trunk from a random tree. When asked about it however, he just showed the sign for victory, looking straight into the camera. “It’s swag,” he said seriously in a low voice, before returning to his seat. Cool guy Yoongi was indeed still there, between his layers of yoga and avocado-smoothies.

And the presentations went on. Namjoon just explained that the clothes he was wearing was made out of cotton and therefore was organic just like the woods. He just put in so many difficult terms it seemed smarter than it was (it really was all rambling: but using the Latin terms he did no one realized that). Hoseok described his suit of leaves as wind/water/sand/fire/bullet-proof, which the others had problems believing it was. Yoongi was all for testing it out but for some reason Hoseok wasn’t willing to do that. Seokjin didn’t even try to explain as he just said “I quit”, and no one wanted the explanation for Jimin’s coconut-dress. And then, in the end, it was Taehyung’s turn.

“Well,” Taehyung got up and walked confidently to the spot where all the members had been standing before him.

“We are all children of Mother Nature! We are not born with clothes, nor do we die with them – well, we don’t need to at least. So what is better, than walking around like we were created?” During his speech his eyes were burning with passion as he expressed himself with wide actions and arm-flailing. “I EMBRACE Mother Nature! I will seize the day and become with the very earth we are walking on!”

Silence followed, as everyone stared wide-eyed at him. Namjoon muttered an “oh god” under his breath, and even Eric didn’t seem to have any comeback for this. It must have been a good fifteen seconds before Eric obviously got some kind of signal, as he suddenly got out of his shocked daze.

“Uhh… yeah! Great! This was the middle of the maknae-line, V! Now remember, you decide who will win! You can vote by…” he continued explaining how one voted, before signalizing that they were cutting to commercials. Not a second too early, that was for sure. They weren’t even done with their first show and it was a disaster already.

“Taehyung,” Jimin said seriously as soon as the red light on the camera went out, and they were alone again. Taehyung turned around and tilted his head slightly, not used to the tone in the elder’s voice. He braced himself for whatever nonsense Jimin was going to spout at him now, but instead the latter broke into a grin.

“THAT WAS GREAT! This is what the world should be all about! We should all just embrace Mother Nature! I will embrace Mother Nature! Your belief matches perfectly with what my world view! Oh how I have awaited this day,” Jimin almost looked teary eyed, where he stood.

Taehyung however, just furred his eyebrows. “Maybe I should re-evaluate this,” he muttered for himself.

“Taetae, join me on the spiritual road of life!”

“I am totally re-evaluating this.”

“I’ll teach you how to make herbal tea and discussing energy!”

“Hoseok, help me!”

“Too late for that now,” Hoseok shot in from beside Yoongi, as Jimin threw himself onto Taehyung, hugging him tight.

Five minutes later, as the members finally had given in to Taehyung and helped him from getting harassed by Jimin, they all sat down in the chairs again. The screen and the lights on the cameras blinked red, signalizing broadcast once again. Eric started explaining everything and built up the suspension, as pictures of the five idiots in the chairs were shown to the world every now and then.

“And then, the winner is…” Eric said, as a drum-roll was heard. “V! Congratulations! How are you feeling right now?”

The members all turned to Taehyung shocked, wondering how the one without any clothes at all managed to win. He didn’t try. Even Jungkook – who had taken the term ‘flower boy’ to a whole new level – had tried in some way.

Taehyung looked just as surprised himself, his mouth hanging wide open. This was not because he won however – of course he knew he would win – but rather because a certain spiritual monk was going to pester him about this his whole life. If he managed to life for that long, that was.

“Uh…” he said, trying to find a suitable answer for Eric. “Shocked. Jimin is going to teach me his way of the spiritual coconut-monk because of this, so uh… thanks.” And then he realized he won, as in, beat the others. “Oh, wait! I won! Who’s the loser now?! This is all because of you, Albert! I want to thank my dad for carrying me and mother for giving birth to me, and Yoongi-hyung for making breakfast this morning, and manager-hyung for…”

In the end, the thanks to-speech went on until Eric stopped him because the show was running out of time. Then he quickly said his good byes and as did the guys on the island, before they were left alone again.

Namjoon sighed, slumping down in the chair he had gotten up from to say goodbye. “It was nice with some human interaction after so long,” he announced.

Taehyung, the winner of the first contest, turned to look at him. “But, we’re humans! You talk to us every day!”

Hoseok and Yoongi just shook their heads, and Seokjin raised his eyebrows. “I’m pretty sure you guys don’t count as a human, dear."

Taehyung was slightly offended by that comment.

Sorry for the lack of usual crack. Also, I needed a host for the show and I happen to love Eric Nam so that's why. Some of you might recognize some of the things Taehyung says in his thanks to-speech though, as it's thing he has actually said. True alien, that one.