Kyungsoo is silently wiping his tears as he opens the photobook that Tao gave him last Christmas. In every flip of the page, another set of tears are flowing. But it is not enough for all the pain he is experiencing. Now that Jongin hates him now, he remembers how he hated himself before. And he hates himself again now because he’s such a liar. He’s so stupid for thinking that Jongin won’t get any sadder if he keeps that important secret.

The room of his door opens; Kyungsoo immediately wipes his tears to let the others see that he’s fine. Kyungsoo expects that he will hear nothing and he does. Maybe it’s just the Byuns or Jongin’s mother checking on him.

He bows his head down and stops moving. He doesn’t know now what to do. He’s leaving in a week, and he can’t afford to leave without fixing this. But how can he fix this when he himself is broken? Kyungsoo sighs heavily, questioning God why is he experiencing these things. These unordinary things. These hard problems.

First, his true family was in danger. Then he went to America and left his parents for his own safety. Second, he was brought back here to start anew, but everything just went back in his memories that he didn’t enjoy his life fully. There were students who judge him, there were still secrets to be revealed, and there were people who kept on following him. And he felt that he had nothing. He felt empty.

And a pair of hands hugs him from behind. “I’m so sorry.” she says. And there Kyungsoo bows his head down more and cries heavily, feeling the warmth of a mother. But it’s not enough. It’s not his real mother.


~ ~ ~

Luhan and Kyungsoo are walking together to go to the café and restaurant. Luhan keeps on looking at Kyungsoo because he’s not used to this. Kyungsoo is so silent, and Luhan knows the reason why. Everyone knows the reason why. It’s clearly evident in Kyungsoo’s features.

Kyungsoo instantly goes to the employee’s room and locked it. And there all the memories from yesterday night go back to him. He remembers all of that, and it hurts him so much. So so much because he never wants Jongin to lose trust in him, especially this time. “Stupid.” Kyungsoo bangs the locker.

He’ll always be a replacement… because he never owns anything. Nothing is permanent in Kyungsoo’s life, like flowers… they all wither. But isn’t the reason why these flowers wither is because he never takes care of it enough. “I don’t know how much is enough.” A hard pull on his scalp.

Because no one has ever made him feel how much is enough. “I have no one.” And Kyungsoo realizes and feels the pain of being alone. Of having no one by his side. Kyungsoo punches the locker again and again until his fist bleeds. This is not enough… because he doesn’t know how much it is.

Baekhyun and the other workers hear Kyungsoo’s cries and punches. “Kyungsoo!!” Baekhyun shouts as he knocks on the door which is locked. He kicks it open and sees Kyungsoo’s fist bleeding. But what matters more is he sees Kyungsoo crying so hard, blaming himself of what is happening when Kyungsoo is not the only one who’s at fault. But he’s the most affected… because he loves Jongin.

Baekhyun holds Kyungsoo to stop him from punching the locker and just hugs him as he hears Kyungsoo’s cries and curses to himself. Baekhyun doesn’t say anything. He thinks that this is what Kyungsoo needs for now. “That’s not enough…” Kyungsoo cries and Baekhyun feels a lump in his throat because it is true, it is not enough.

“I’m sorry Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun whispers to Kyungsoo as he kisses Kyungsoo’s head.

“W-why? It’s my entire fault. I didn’t tell him the truth.” Kyungsoo’s voice is trembling as Baekhyun’s hug tightens. Baekhyun then closes his eyes and lets his tears fall for his bestfriend. “I’m a liar.” Baekhyun readies himself for being thrown.

“It’s my fault, not yours. I’m the liar here, you’re not. I’m the one who insist not to tell Jongin earlier th--“

“T-they died.” Baekhyun whispers. “Your parents.”

And Kyungsoo freezes, “W-what?” Kyungsoo pulls away from Baekhyun but Baekhyun just tightens the hug as he keeps on apologizing to Kyungsoo. Baekhyun is now in tears too. “I’m so sorry Kyungsoo.”

“W-why didn’t you tell me?!” Kyungsoo shouts at Baekhyun and gets out of Baekhyun’s arms. “I-I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to hear your sorry, I wanted to know the reason why?!! Since when?!! Why didn’t you tell me?!” Kyungsoo shouts at Baekhyun. Chanyeol then goes to Baekhyun’s side to calm Baekhyun.

“L-last month.” Baekhyun stutters and he looks down because he doesn’t want to see Kyungsoo’s tears anymore. Or maybe because this time, he’s the reason why those bitter tears are falling down.

Kyungsoo feels hot and cold all over his body. He looks at Baekhyun silently and his eyes ask him why. “B-baek---“ and he flops on the ground as his silent cries changed into loud curses. “ it…”

Baekhyun immediately goes to Kyungsoo to hug him again but Kyungsoo punches him and Baekhyun has his reasons, “My parents told me not to tell you. And you also didn’t want to go back that time right? Because of Jongin! Right! Because of Jongin that’s why you asked for an extensi---“ And there Baekhyun received another punch.

“My parents are more important than Jongin, Baekhyun!” Kyungsoo shouts. “And you do know that I’ve been longing to see my parents, to hold them, to love them once again. But you, your parents, and Mrs. Kim didn’t let me. I could’ve seen them before they were buried, but you stopped me, without me knowing. Why are you all selfish… all for Jongin!”

“How about me?!” Kyungsoo doesn’t want to blame Jongin but it’s really true. “That’s the reason why you let me have an extension for a month right? For Jongin, you know that I’ll do anything to know and tell Jongin that I know his mother. For Jongin to come together with me in America so he could meet his mother. You know that I will do that Baekhyun right?! That’s why you let me. And it’s your benefit also because your parents are handling our parents’ case.”

Kyungsoo fakes a laugh, but Baekhyun could hear a sob. “This is all for Jongin… and now, I’m giving this to you. I’m giving you this ‘Jongin case’ since you know all the truth!” Kyungsoo stands up. “But Jongin doesn’t want his mother now. And I want mine… but you guys didn’t even let me hold them in my arms… for 7 years and forever.” And Kyungsoo goes out of the café and restaurant crying with all of the pain that is always there. And he thinks that it will always be.

“Kyungsoo!” Luhan calls Kyungsoo but Kyungsoo chooses to ignore it. because Luhan has got nothing to do with this. Kyungsoo runs to nowhere until he finds himself sitting in a cement and checking his phone, it’s past 9 o’clock. He thinks he’ll be sleeping here on the streets for now. He knows he cannot go to the Byuns house, because the selfish people are there.

He looks at his hands, and how much he let the chance to hold his parents pass for Jongin. Should he regret that he asked for an extension for Jongin? Just to be hated by the one he loves. Just to be stupid for choosing Jongin over his parents without him knowing. “Stupid.” Kyungsoo, this time, doesn’t let his tear fall from his eyes. They don’t deserve this.

“And who is this kid?” a deep voice asks from behind.

“I’m Do yungSoo, thank you.” Kyungsoo answers absentmindedly, thinking that it’s just some ordinary punk guy who’s usually wandering on the streets in this time of the day.

Hearing the name Do, the guy holds Kyungsoo harshly. But Kyungsoo can’t feel the pain. It’s just he feels the guy’s presence is strong. And he knows that this is one of the sharks. “And yeah, I’m a .” Because he knows that this is a bad luck.

Kyungsoo immediately tries to run away from the bad guy but he realizes that he can do nothing. The guy punches him so hard and elbowed him on the shoulder causing Kyungsoo to feel numb. “Where are the Kims?!” the guy shouts at him.

“I-I don’t know…” Kyungsoo answers as he tries to get away from the guy’s strong grip on his arm which is now bruised.

“Do you really think that I’ll believe in you?!” the guy says as he gives Kyungsoo a hard punch on his stomach causing Kyungsoo to spit out blood. Metallic taste meets Kyungsoo and he knows by now that he’s in danger.

But he also knows that they shouldn’t know where the Kims are. “Y-yes. Because I think you’re stupid.” Kyungsoo answers and smirks that makes the guy’s blood boil all over again so he throws Kyungsoo to the ground.

Kyungsoo thinks that this is the best chance to get away from the shark, or probably, he’s a Wu. He tries his best to stand up until he hears a cling of a gun. “Go try to escape and you’ll be able to meet your parents.”

Kyungsoo freezes for a second but when he hears the name of his parents, he turns around and asks the guy about it just by looking at him. Kyungsoo by now thinks that this guy knows how his parents died. The guy smirks at him and tells him the whole truth, “Oh the Byuns didn’t tell you? I thought they told you about it since last month. That’s why they didn’t let you go back to America, right? And that’s why that Mrs. Kim is here now… with me.”

And Kyungsoo’s eyes widen as he takes in the features of the woman at the back of the guy. “Mrs. Kim!” Kyungsoo shouts and backs off as the wound on his mouth stings. Mrs. Kim has taped and body tied up on the chair. “Let her go!”

“Not until they pay us the mo--“

“Where’s Jongin?!” Kyungsoo doesn’t care about what the guy is trying to say, he must know if Jongin is safe. Well, he knows that Jongin is strong but with Jongin’s state right now, Kyungsoo doubts it.

Kyungsoo goes to Mrs. Kim’s side to help her untie herself until the guy pulls the trigger of the gun and the two of them are shocked. Mrs. Kim screamed; Kyungsoo’s eyes widen and he chokes.

Kyungsoo checks if Mrs. Kim got shot “Don’t be scared.” Kyungsoo hugs his mother as she trembles on Kyungsoo’s arms. “Kyungsoo…” Mrs. Kim continues to weep, Kyungsoo understands because he himself is scared to. “Let her go! I’m a Do, I’m also involved here so I’m enough! I’m enough so let her go!”

“Who told you that I needed you here?!” the guys shouts at him as he points the gun to Kyungsoo. “Ah! Why did I bring you here again?” the guy looks up the ceiling as if he is thinking. And he smiles as he ‘remembers’ why. “Oh! I know now!” and he points the gun to Kyungsoo, “It’s to kill you. Like what I did to your parents.”

Kyungsoo shouts, “W-what?!”

“Oh I just told my people to send them to hell… by causing a ‘car accident.’ Uhm, just so you know, they cannot control the brakes, causing their car to hit a wall.” And the guy laughs, “Perfect isn’t it? No one knows that the ‘accident’ is not true.”

“And it’s not true.” Another deep voice is heard, and Kyungsoo is so familiar with it.

“Chanyeol!” Kyungsoo shouts as Chanyeol and Baekhyun come out from the corner, with Kris. “Kris! Baekhyun! Luhan!... Jongin!” Kyungsoo’s voice is trembling, seeing that his friends are in danger. “You guys are not involved in this! Please, go away!”

Baekhyun and Chanyeol go back to call Baekhyun’s parents. And Jongin and Luhan go to untie Mrs. Kim and help Kyungsoo but the guy shoots the gun into their direction causing them to back off. “Jongin! Luhan!!” Kyungsoo shouts at them to be careful. “You want me to die right?” Kyungsoo tries to distract the guy, “Then just kill me right now!” the guy immediately shoots his gun to Kyungsoo’s direction, but not hitting him so just to scare the cat.

“Kyungsoo please stop…” Mrs. Kim is crying, caressing Kyungsoo gently.

“Kyungsoo… …” Jongin curses, he cannot live anymore if he’ll lose someone he loves again.

Kris then talks to the guy, being cautious to make a mistake or else, his life will be taken away. “Mr. Lee! You don’t need to be this hard on the--“
(the Mr. Lee is not Kyungsoo’s teacher. It’s his father, don’t worry.)

And Mr. Lee claps, “Look who’s talking, a Wu has the guts to tell me this?!” he laughs. “Ha, it. Your father killed Mr. Kim, right? Oops…” he shrugs his shoulders, “I mean… my father killed Mr. Kim.”

Kris’ eyebrows meet, “W-what are you saying?”

“Oh your father didn’t tell you? Or you just didn’t listen to him? For that Huang ZiTao? Didn’t you hear your father say that he’s not the one who killed Mr. Kim? It’s the Lees! Or maybe he didn’t know it either, because your father is dumb! You’re all stupid!!” Mr. Lee shouts.

Kris is about to fight with Mr. Lee when Mr. Lee points his gun to Kris and is about to shoot him when a stick hits his hand causing him to back off. “Go pull that trigger.” Tao says as he holds Mr. Lee’s hand and twists it. Mr. Lee curses Tao as he almost loses grip of the gun because of pain. “Mr. Byun!” Tao calls and police goes in the house and arrests Mr. Lee.

Mr. Lee keeps on struggling as he tries to snatch a gun from the police to at least shoot one of them. The ones who are the reason why his life became like this. Tao then hits his hands for the last time. Mr. Lee flinches and this time, the Byuns handcuffed his hands.

Tao goes in the car with Mr. Lee because he knows that he can handle the guys like him. Tao is much skilled and younger than Mr. Lee so Tao trusts himself. “That’s what you get when you let your anger control you.” Tao tells Mr. Lee. “Believe me, they’re trying their best to return the money to you guys. An--“

Mr. Lee rolls his eyes and laughs. “I don’t believe in happy endings.”

“Call an ambulance!” someone shouts. Tao then goes out of the police car and runs to Jongin who’s carrying Kyungsoo on his arms. “H-he got shot!” Jongin cries as Kyungsoo’s chest heaves up and down, drawing some air in his lungs. “Hold on Kyungsoo please… I’m sorry.” Jongin whispers.

Tao then goes back to Mr. Lee and tries to punch him but the police hold him back. “If something bad will ever happen to Kyungsoo, I’ll be the one to kill you!!” Tao shouts at him as he kicks Mr. Lee.

“Ooh, I’m scared. But won’t you like it? Kyungsoo will be together with his parents now… in hell?” Mr. Lee laughs and Tao’s sight darkens. He tells the policemen, “I surrender.” He says as he pushes the policemen and starts to give Mr. Lee hits and curses.

~ ~ ~

Jongin is crying and blaming himself for what happened to Kyungsoo. Though the doctor says that Kyungsoo will be fine in some days, Jongin chooses not to let the other boy see him. It’s his fault, because he didn’t realize it earlier that Kyungsoo did all the things for him to be happy. it’s just not effective… but that’s the Kyungsoo Jongin knows, and loves.

“He’s looking for you.” Luhan’s soft voice makes Jongin calmer. “Won’t you show yourself.”

“He doesn’t need to. I’m a bad luck to him.” Jongin says with his hoarse voice. He’s tired of crying and trying to make things clearer because it only blurs his mind as if he cannot take what he is realizing and what had happened these past years. All secrets are revealed, and it’s too much for Jongin. “I don’t deserve Kyungsoo.”

“Don’t say that.” Luhan says as he pats Jongin’s back.

Jongin looks at Luhan and realizes that Luhan can make Kyungsoo happier, though it can make Jongin break into pieces, “Kyungsoo deserves someone like you Luhan.” And Jongin sees how Luhan’s face features sadness. “Won’t you be happy?” Jongin tries to smile.

“No. because Kyungsoo won’t be happy either.” And Luhan straightens himself up, “Jongin… I know that he loves you and he’s willing to welcome you in his life again so plea--“

“I won’t welcome him in my miserable life Luhan… I don’t want…” Jongin tells Luhan.

“And I won’t too. I am dying Jongin, and I can’t afford to see Kyungsoo crying because of me… since I’m his best friend.”

“Yes, you are dying and you deserve to be happy.”

“I’ll be happy in my own way Jongin. And your way is to be with Kyungsoo.” Luhan trusts his words. “You need to try. You have to try for Kyungsoo… even just this time. For Kyungsoo.” Luhan pleads.

“I-I can’t. I shouldn’t. I don---“

“You should not? You don’t deserve him anymore?” Luhan’s voice is whole, and that makes Jongin look at Luhan. Luhan continues, who has these judging eyes on Jongin, “Or is it because you can’t trust Kyungsoo anymore, isn’t it?”

And Jongin gulps and takes in Luhan’s words. “I thought you’ve learned a thing.” Luhan shakes his head and walks away. Then Suho came and sat beside Jongin.

Jongin looks at him and sees Suho being gloomy unlike the usual. And it seems that Suho is sadder than him when Jongin should be feeling that way. Before Jongin can say anything, Suho tells the news to him, “The cafe and restaurant will soon be closed.”

Notes