I just know I haven’t hit the hay for at least three hours when my phone buzzed, irritating my ears.

                “Yeoboseyo?” I said rather groggily. Lately, it has been a habit of mine to just answer the call without looking at the caller ID.

                “Song Chemi-ssi,” a woman answered this time. “This is Haneul Company.”

                “Yes?” This is the other company I’ve been talking about yesterday, the one which I have a contract of allowing them to solely distribute my photos of the concert.

                “Yes, we’ve received the pictures and our experts are filtering them as we speak,” the woman said. “The payment will be arriving next week and we’d”

                “Excuse me?” I said, suddenly sitting up on my bed. That surely made me wake up. “Did you say next week?”

                “Yes,” the woman said.

                “But I thought the contract says as soon as I send the pictures I will get the payment??” I was getting heated up by this time. The money I got from working at the café was all sent about three hours ago to my father. I was only relying so much to this other wage for the rent and the payment for the loan on Eun Gi’s tuition. Hearing this right now is just plain unacceptable.

                “Yes,” the woman said. From her tone, I bet she’s also quite surprised that I’m making a big deal out of this. “But as I’ve said, they are only filtering the pictures right now. The money will depend on the number of pictures that will be used—“

                “But it isn’t my fault that they are only doing that right now! I’m sorry, miss, but I really have to get the payment for this. I’m sure this is breaching the contract—“

                “No, it isn’t, Ms. Song. The contract clearly states that after the pictures have been finalized, then you will be paid as soon as possible. There is no arguing about this. Plus, the money will surely reach you by next week. Clearly, this shouldn’t be made into such a big fuss.”

                Big fuss? Is this woman trying to seriously make me gun her down?

                “Now, if you have not any other issue than this, then that’s all I can say,” she said rather sternly.

                “But--!” And then she hung the phone on me.

                FREAKING WOMAN. How dare she? She had the nerve to get mad when I should be in that position?

                I flopped down on my bed, thinking really hard. At this point, I would have to bargain between continuing to send Eun Gi to school and paying for the rent. If I pay for the rent, I would still have spare money to keep in my pocket but the school would surely not allow Eun Gi to continue attending classes. But if I choose to pay Eun Gi’s tuition, then I would need to give out all my money, including that one I earned last night on that street singing and still would have to earn some more to pay for it and the rent which is due tomorrow. At this, I put both of my hands on my hair. This is giving me a headache. What should I do now….What should I do?

                And it is still early morning. WTH. 

                The only friend I have in Seoul is Naeun and I can’t ask her for money after all the goodness she has done to me. I know that if I ask her, she would immediately help me but I can’t bear it anymore. What she’s doing is too much now. I can’t also let Eun Gi stop from school since this is the only reason why we came to Seoul. I can let her be like me. She has to attain her dreams no matter what. Aside from that, I can’t let her know of the situation. She would decide by herself to stop, that I know too much. If she does by some chance, we would have to go back to the province. To be honest, Eun Gi doesn’t really know how bad my mom’s case is. My father and I decided not to let her know. It would only break her heart like it’s breaking mine and one is already enough. Thinking of my father, there is no way I can ask him for money. Afterall, I’ve just sent some to him today for the hospital bill. I can’t get a loan from the bank because I’m not qualified to loan in the first place.

                What should I do…Song Chemi, what can you do?

                For now, the best thing I can do is to go out of bed and head to the café. Maybe I can ask Naeun to change my wage into a per hour basis daily pay. At least that would be fairer to my other co-workers. After that is the problem…I could always take pictures of stars and sell them to sasaengs who are willing to get anything just for their idols. The problem is, there’s no music show today and no really outdoor thingies that would allow me to get a picture of them. Plus, I don’t think just taking random pictures of them walking would sell that good. I need to have something better, like taking pictures of them in their dorm…or in training. There’s no way I can do that. I am not authorized to enter such places unless…

                I opened my closet and looked at that piece of clothing I’ve never worn. It is something I found on the dream KPOP concert months ago. I took it because I think it would come to good use sooner or later but I never really had the need to use it. Right now, however…I’m thinking if I should…

                Bless my soul, my guardian angel, if you ever exist. I’m about to do something undignified.

…………………………………..

                I took a deep breath and peeked at the building in front of me behind a thin lamp post. I know I’m acting rather suspicious but I can’t help it. The guilt is eating my insides. But I have to do this. I have to or we will end up living in the streets. Just thinking about it made me go all crazy and end my life.

                Well, not really end my life. That would be too much. Maybe end the landlady’s life.

                Anyway, I went straight to SM Building after my work at the café at 7. Naeun agreed with the daily pay basis but she seemed curious as to why I did that. Of course, I didn’t explain. It would only let her know of the situation I’m in. I was just grateful she didn’t ask too much and just let me go. I’ve been standing here for about twenty minutes now. Still debating whether I should go on as planned. As always, there are many fans in front of the building. The ones who camp out and the ones who just go there randomly. They all had cameras with them, waiting for idols to come out of their training which I’m pretty sure would not happen any sooner. Idols usually leave their building at midnight or early morning. Anyway, I’m standing here, watching all that while clutching my bag which contains my precious camera. I look at the door to the building. I’ve known since probably a year now that the only way you can enter the building is through a fingerprint sensor so that they could easily assure that only authorized persons can enter. Many fans tried to but they just can’t enter.

                That’s what I am attempting now. I’m going to enter that place no matter what.

                How will I do that?

                Simple, I know some of the personnels arrive back to the building at around 7:30 to 8:00 from assisting some idols or fixing some schedules in other entertainment buildings and music ents.  They enter through the front door using that finger sensor. At this time, I know that the security guard beyond that door is probably taking his dinner and he’s not actually that stri