nine

“For me?” Tao looks confused and I nod.

“Before I met you I had no reason to play. I just did. It was only a compulsion. But after what you just told me, I think now I will play for you.”

“Oh Sehun…” Tao placed a hand on his chest and a sweet smile came across his face. “I’m so happy.”

“I’m glad.”

“Can I… this time can I play for you? You’ve never heard me play before,” he offers.

I nod wordlessly and he removes the viola from his shoulder, walking toward a bench where he sets it down. I follow and sit down as he unpacks. He tunes his viola by ear, tightens his bow and adjusts his shoulder rest.

“I’ not as good as you,” he discloses.

I don’t care. Not many people are, apparently. I’m just curious about his ability. He walks forward, stopping near the edge of the lake and turns. The moon is huge behind him and a cool breeze ruffles his clothes and hair.

And then he lifts his instrument and suddenly the air stills. The wind seems to die and all other noises cease. My stomach flips uncomfortable within and I instantly recognize the feeling. Passion.

I resist the urge to hunch forward though my palms begin to sweat. I look at Tao’s face and his eyes close as he begins to play.

It’s Barber; Samuel Barber’s Adagio for Strings. Tears prickle in my eyes. Of course Tao cannot see them. It’s dark and also his eyes remain shut as he plays. He pulls at the bow, his fingers create a lovely vibrato. He hits a note a little sharply but self corrects. I feel the feeling growing within my with each passing second. My ears are pulsing like a high speed metronome and I cannot take it.

The familiar bitter feeling, the hate, it rears its head and I want to lash out. I want to grab Tao but also I want to put as much distance between us as possible. My stomach clenches and my mouth begins to water, anticipating the acidic bile to spurt forth.

I stand. I move of the bench so quickly that Tao’s case clatters to the ground. I didn’t mean to make so much noise. I wanted to escape without his notice but immediately his eyes open and he stops playing. Our eyes meet despite the darkness for a few seconds before I turn and run.

He shouts my name but I cannot turn back.

I stumble away as fast as my legs can carry me. The further away I get the less I feel the effect of Tao’s passion. Still, I cannot stop moving. I keep running until I’m out of the park and even then I push my body to its limit going further as if somehow Tao can follow me.

Rationally I know he cannot. After all, he is just a normal boy and anyone would be a fool to leave a viola behind in the park. He wouldn’t set his instrument down to look for me.

I wander and finally I stop and now my lungs are burning. But, I am OK. I can be content with this. I don’t want to feel the burning of passion ever again. Tao’s playing, though sloppy and unrefined for sure, reeked of passion! That passion! I felt it deep inside.

I collapse against a wall in a darkened alleyway. I don’t even know where I am anymore. I let me knees buckle and I fall to the asphalt below and lean my forehead against the cool brick. I don’t know how long I stay there but I need the rest.

I take it back. I can’t do it. I can’t play music for anyone else. The feelings are just too strong. In a large orchestra I can tune out the individuals that make up the whole, but any smaller and I’m at the mercy of their passion.

I feel large tears begin to well up in my eyes and I wipe them before they fall. I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t know how I let myself be convinced that it’s OK to be alive. I was—I am better off dead. I just need to be alone. Just me and my violin.

“Oh Sehun?”

I tense turning to look behind me. My heart hammers so hard and my the tears I was trying desperately to hold back come spilling down my cheeks finally.

Tao.

His eyes shine brightly in the light of the street lamp he stands under, but when he steps closer his clear visage becomes shrouded in darkness. I press against the wall.

“Stay away,” I yell. “Just… just leave me alone!”

Tao continues to come closer.

“What? Why? You didn’t like how I played for you?”

I whimper and press my body flat against the brick surface.

“I change my mind! I can’t play for you anymore!”

“What?”

Tao stops coming forward and I can hear something strange in his voice.

“I just… I can’t. It’s too much. These feelings are too much,” I hug myself as I try to explain.

Tao chuckles lightly like air.

“Is that all? Ah, I’m so happy. Oh Sehun, these feelings are too much for me too.”

The way he always uses my full name at every given opportunity to address me suddenly chills me. Why had I never noticed it before?

Tao steps in front of me and crouches down. He takes me chin into my hands and I feel something pass between us. A spark of energy enters me but at the same time I feel something seeping out. It’s as if the passion I felt earlier from his paying still resides in him. His body still radiates it and it’s entering my skin.

“I meant what I said when I said it doesn’t matter what or who gets in our way. Even you.”

It can’t just be me who feels the way sparks are flying between the points where our skin meets.

“Oh Sehun, I never felt this way about anyone. I…,” Tao lets go of my face to hold his own as he blushed. “I…I think I love you.”

I gulp, “Love?”

Tao giggles and nods cutely.

“I feel you in here…. When we touch,” he gestures to his heart.

So he did feel it.

“You’re so cute. You’re so clueless,” Tao says. “It’s OK. I know deep down. You love me too.”

His finger curls into the lapel of my school uniform jacket and he tilts his head leaning forward. Even through my jacket I can feel his energy melding with mine and that’s when it clicks. This is not unlike when Kai touched me in the practice room. My heart is erratic and my brain fairs no better. What am I to do? I can already feel my body falling weak as he leans closer and closer until finally—

The weight of his body was torn off me and he falls back against the opposite wall.

“Sehun! Are you all right?”

I look up to see Kai standing over me with his hand held out but I don’t take it. Which ends up fine because Tao was up again with that feral and now dangerous look on his face.

“You!” he growled.

“Me!” smirked Kai pointing to himself.

Tao set aside his viola case and got into a fighting stance. That’s right. He was a martial artist.

“Kai! You have to get away!” I find my voice to say.

Kai just laughs away my warning still in his normal stance. His hands are in his pockets and he comes off as so arrogant. Tao makes the first move, kicking at Kai but Kai dodges so quickly. His movements are fluid like water. I gaped as Tao tried again to no avail.

“I hate leeches like you,” Kai says as he dodges the hit. “Praying on weak muses like this kid.”

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” Tao spits.

Kai laughs again, “Yeah. Sure you don’t.”

“I love him! And he loves me!”

“OK, Sehun, do you love him?”

I look at Kai and then back at Tao. The Chinese violist is gazing atme with soft and kind eyes. He has hope and I can’t bear to hold the eye contact any longer.

“Oh Sehun?” Tao’s voice sounds broken and I hug myself unable to stand it.

“See,” Kai boasts.

Tao lets out a scream so loud I look up again and see he’s crying.

“You! What did you do to my Sehun!?” he yells and flies forward at a speed that surprises me. It’s almost super human and with previously unseen strength he hits Kai right along the jaw.

Kai flies backwards skidding along the asphalt but he stands before I can even go to see if he’s OK.

Tao charges again and this time the fight seems evenly matched. Somehow despite his tears and hysteria, or maybe because of it, he and Kai seems to be toe to toe in strength and ability. Still, Kai manages to stay one step ahead of the violist and even when Tao landed a hit he seems unfazed.

“Just leave us alone!” Tao says taking another swing.

Kai dodges, “I’m really getting bored with you.” He says before reaching out and grabbing Tao into a hold.

Tao struggles to break free.

“Oh Sehun! Help me!”

But I’m rooted to the spot.

“Please! Tell him. Tell him what you told me.”

I shake my head.

“Oh Sehun!?”

“Tao,” I reply. “What can I say? Why are you even in the fighting in the first place huh? Kai’s my friend and I take back everything I’ve ever said.”

Even I have to wonder where my sense of loyalty is at this point. Wasn’t it a few hours ago that I said to myself that Tao was my only friend?

“No. You can’t… you don’t mean that. I know deep down you don’t. I play for you and you play for me. Melody and harmony. You’re melody and I’m harmony in love—“

“Leave me alone!”

I unintentionally scream and it echoes.

“But…”

“I mean it! You keep following me everywhere and I hate it!”

Tao’s eyes go wide and then blank as they refill with tears and his body falls limp. Kai lets him fall from his hold to the ground and he looks so utterly defeated but I don’t want to be weak again. I stand and walk away before I can see more.

I march down the street and I sense the footsteps behind me and it’s Kai.

“Wow. That guy was pretty weak for a hunter. I sense something strange. We should totally keep an eye open for something else,” Kai says.

I’m barely listening.

“Could you ing leave me alone?” I murmur.

“Hey. That’s not how you talk to the guy who saved your life,” retorts Kai. “Like twice!”

“I didn’t ask you to save my life! I’m better off dead. I was dead! But then you and Tao had to show up and ruin everything!” I snap.

“Hey I didn’t ruin anything. You’re the one who can’t accept advice.”

“I thought you said I was your friend.”

“I didn’t mean it,” I reply.

Kai looks at me sadly, “You don’t mean a lot of things you say do you?”

I just glare angrily.

“You’re so wishy washy. You can’t decide at all what you want.”

“So what?” I ask.

Kai just shrug, “I dunno. I just feel sorry for you. Please be careful. You may not care if you live or die but there are people who do.”

With that Kai walks away though I know he really didn’t go far. The entire way home I swear I felt eyes on me.

-to be continued-

AN: dun dun dunn who is watching Sehun walk home. And Tao? Is he a danger to Sehun? What's his deal? What's going on!? Find out next time I guess.

Guys it would be awesome if you comment and stuff ^^ they're really nice haha not trying to sound like i love comments but I do hahahaha as you may have noticed I still do update even without comments but I still like em nonetheless.

sorry this is un betad so yeah... mistakes! cya next time