fourteen

I wake up in bed and to my surprise Kai is lounging down beside me. I must have passed out. I can’t remember how I got home. I try to sit up and he only pushes me back down.

“Yesung said you were tracked by a homer.”

“I don’t know. I’m so confused."

I don’t want to think of that thing anymore. But at the same time I know that I have to.  Why does this keep happening to me?

Kai comes closer when I try to sit up again but this time he doesn’t push me back down. He wraps an arm around my shoulder as if to steady me ad we both resituate ourselves to sit against the wall.

“On one hand I’m really sorry because it’s my fault you’re in this mess. But on the other hand I’m relieved. If I hadn’t come along you’d probably already be dead within the first few days of entering this school.”

I sigh grimly unsure if I should be thankful.

“Homers are like dogs. They’re ugly but generally pretty harmless as far as demons go. But when trained they’re ruthless. Hunters use them to play fetch with their prey.”

“Is it Luhan?” I ask.

“Signs point to it being so,” Kai replies.

I slump forward, burying my head in my knees.

“How am I supposed to live my life now with that… that kind of thing after me?”

“Well you defeated the homer… or rather Yesung did. A rational hunter, especially a newbie like Luhan, should see that you’re no longer worth the trouble to catch and they stop. They go bother someone else.”

His words do not comfort me.

“Besides, these hunters didn’t see you as one of Yesung’s people before. Now they do so you’re safe.”

“Yesung’s people?”

“It’s all politics,” Kai says looking exasperated. “Yesung all but said he’s going to protect you when he killed that homer today. You’re as good as invincible now. I mean, why do you think I can be as carefree as I am?”

“But you hate Yesung,” I pointed out.

He scratches at his cheek as his eyes shift to the side.

“I… I live with him. I’m his charge.”

“Wait,” I pull away from him letting his arm drop to his side. “You knew Yesung could protect me and you still warned me to stay away from him.”

I’m starting to get upset. I can never understand Kai or his motivations. From the day that I met him everything he tells me he insists is for my own good but it just feels like I’m getting myself deeper and deeper in to and keep relying more and more on him.

“Look,” Kai begins. “I’ve seen a lot of bull living with him. He doesn’t hesitate to let other muses die and use them as bartering chips. I didn’t want that to happen to you. But it seems he’s accepted you and honestly I’m surprised. Apart from me… and my brother, you’re the only other muse I’ve seen him bother to not let get killed.”

We’re both silent after that. My mind is flooded with questions and uncertainties. I don’t know who I can trust. Kai insists that he’s always the right one. He’s also constantly saved my life, but Yesung’s saved my life too. Yesung hasn’t given me any reason to not trust him. Is it because of Hyori and Rain? That has to be it. That’s why Yesung protected me.

Suddenly I lift my head from my knees remembering something.

“Wait… you have a brother?”

Kai seems shy to answer that but he does. Perhaps he realizes that he needs to regain my trust and does so by confiding.

“Yes. But he doesn’t live with us. He left us to be on the other side of the river.”

“With the dominant muse on the other side?”

Kai nods.

“Something like that.”

I don’t want to pry more. I don’t think doing so will get me anymore points. Rather than just uncomfortable he also looks sad, different from the times he pities me. It’s more personal and I feel I ought to do something. But instead of me having to do something it’s Kai who speaks first.

“We were always together even when we came to this world,” he said softly. “But we never see each other anymore.”

“Just because he’s with the other muse? Can’t you just see him the once?”

“You don’t understand, Sehun,” Kai says sounding and looking frustrated and I know not to press it further.

We sit in following silence shoulder to shoulder deep within our own thoughts. I don’t understand. He’s right. But maybe if someone told me everything and not just bits and pieces I would. I realize I wasn’t so receptive to the truth in the beginning, but I’m trying now. I really am. It’s a matter of life or death after all.

“You’re right…” I finally speak again. “I don’t understand.”

I turn my head to look at him and he looks at me. He’s nothing like Tao. Nothing. Tao’s eyes are so open and filled with innocence and love. He’s so pure where Kai is dark. It’s no wonder I was convinced he was a demon for so long. There is nothing open about his gaze and I feel like I’ll never be able to read him. In the short time I’ve known him I’ve seen so many facets of Kai but which one was the real one.

He’s been everything from kind to cruel to me.

He bends down and closes the gap between us and just like that, as sudden as the first, I have my second kiss.

My eyes remain open and I can see his are closed as he presses his lips hard against mine. When he pulls away, a slight smirk playing upon his features, I can only utter one word.

“Why?”

He doesn’t answer. He just leans in again for another kiss. This time however my eyes are forced to slide shut as he then moves to pin my shoulders to the wall and he opens his mouth into the kiss. I squeeze my eyes shut and gasp letting my lips move shyly against his.

I have no idea what I’m doing so my mouth basically hangs open as he closes his mouth over mine again and again in a series of wet kisses. Does he know what he’s doing? Because I seriously do not.

And then he pulls back, though his hands still rest on my shoulders. I’m red and pleased to see him looking just as flushed as I am. The chaste kiss from the other day is the past however because he come close again, this time slipping his tongue into my mouth. My tongue moves on its own, touching against his experimentally and I feel like I need to lie down.

My arms rise to clutch at his shirt sleeve and he shifts my body so that I fit directly in his arms.

When we break apart again it’s like he’s cradling me and I’m clinging to his biceps for dear life.

“Why me?”

“I don’t think you’d like the answer if I told you.”

His answer is cold but somehow I was expecting it. Our eyes meet. His mouth is set in a hard line, as if anticipating me pressing for the clear answer. I don’t though. I think I’m content with that. And for the first time right away I’m pretty sure he’s telling the truth.

I don’t want to know the answer to that question.

----

The next day I’m not even surprised by the empty desk at school. Tao is no longer around. I’ve lost my first and only friend.

-to be continued-

AN: Tao is coming back next chapter!!! So what do you think of Kai? Do you trust him? Do you think he's lying or just being secretive? Anyway thanks for reading and commentng and subscribing.

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