fifteen

The phone seems to ring indefinitely. I hide in the corner of the classroom with the phone pressed to my ear.

Ring. Ring.

It only goes on and on. I give up after the third try.

Tao doesn’t want to speak to me.

I know it isn’t something I should be upset over. It’s my fault anyway. I break promises as soon as I make them. It was I who chased him away. Still, my heart aches somehow from regret.

Didn’t he say that he loved me? If Tao who loves me isn’t by my side, but Kai who never once came close to showing he does still remains with me, then who really is my friend?

When I leave school that afternoon, Kai joins me. It’s wordless the way that he comes to my side and matches each of my steps. I don’t even bother to glance over at him. As we near the exit my eyes focus on the spot where Yesung fought the homer but there is no sign that it was ever there. The grass is a beautiful green and a few art students sit on the patch with sketchpads on their lap none the wiser.

I sigh and turn away as we pass through the iron gate. I’m the one who starts the conversation.

“Are we friends?”

I look over at Kai with what I hope is a neutral expression. He glances back at me but instead of confusion or contemplation his eyes portray mirth. He’s amused and I feel quite small under his gaze.

“Didn’t we agree to say that I wasn’t your friend?”

I shrug, “Maybe. But things have changed since then.”

And they have. I remember when he taught me how to fly, all of his advice, as well as the kisses.

“How so?” he asks.

“I told you I’m glad that we meet,” I sigh, “And I meant it even though—“

I clamp my mouth shut. I was about to admit that I absolutely felt that I couldn’t trust him.

“Even though what?” he pries.

I shake my head. He laughs and drapes his arm over my shoulder, as he usually does, and brings me closer. To any outsider we must look like a pair of typical teenage boys.

“We’re not friends. We’re more than that,” Kai finally says and he winks.

“Huh?” my brows furrow. “Like—“

He cuts me off when he leans down and kisses me. He has a tight grip on my shoulder and when my arms move to his chest to push him away he only clutches at my harder. I don’t hate it when he kisses me but we’re in public. It’s embarrassing.

When he finally breaks the kiss he looks at me with his deep and dark eyes. We’re still spectacularly close and I know he can feel the way my heart is beating. With my hand to his chest I can feel his.

Does this mean we’re lovers? But I never agreed to this and he never told me if he liked me. I’m not even sure if I like him. I can’t even understand his thinking of motivations.

“I like you,” Kai says as if reading my mind. “Don’t rely on Yesung any longer. I’ll protect you.”

“But I thought that threat was gone.”

“It is,” he assures me and finally lets go of my shoulder.

I back away from him as well.

“But just from here on we’re like… well, like partners.”

“Partners? Like a bond?”

“Two muses can’t bond,” he informs me. “More like… I’m your boss.”

“Wait what?” I’m shocked and suddenly it all clicks for me.

He approached me while I was still weak, saved me, taught me, tried to keep me away from other stronger muses like Yesung, and made me indebted to him.

The reason why he chose me was to control me. He wanted to make a minion of me. It was so weird but then again last time he did briefly mention something about muse politics.

“So Yesung is?”

“My boss,” he supplies. “And I’m yours.”

“I don’t get it. Is this why you said I wouldn’t want to know why you approached me?”

Kai shrugged indifferently, as if he doesn’t really mind anything I say. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case.

“Didn’t I tell you when we first met? Music is brutal. Art is brutal. Don’t you want to live?” he replies.

I feel like I’m about to burst from anger and I turn to walk away from him.

“Where are you going?” he calls after me.

“Home,” I said, spinning around to level him a glare.

He doesn’t say anything else, just keeps his hands in his pocket as he stares back at me. I turn again and this time he just lets me keep walking away. He likely hasn’t given up. He’s just aware of the fact that he always knows where to find me. Also I figure we both recognize that unless I run to Yesung I have no one else to turn to.

I ride the train home without incident or thought. I actually run through my music in my mind. My fingers mimic the correct positioning as I hold onto the overhead ring. It’s practice.

When I get off at my station I continue to run my music through my mind. It’s soothing and soon because of it I’m able to disconnect myself from how Kai has made me feel.

I don’t care. As long as I can play my music isn’t that all that matters? The hunters aren’t after my life anymore so that means everything will calm down.

Perhaps it’s the way I’m raised that makes me still cling to these human relationship ideas, but it unsettles me to not be able to at this point call Kai my friend. If I vocally, rather than tacitly, agree to follow him will he reveal his secrets to me? There is still so much that I need to know.

I’m thinking these things as I near my house. The windows are darkened showing that no one is home yet there sits a lone figure by the front door. The street is lit enough for me to see who it is and I break into a run towards them.

“Tao!” I call as if he’s some sort of apparition.

I didn’t expect to see him here. In fact, I didn’t expect to see him ever again.

He looks up and stands as I approach. It is evening and I know he hasn’t been to school in days and yet he’s still wearing his uniform. He smiles, his dark circled eyes revealing the soft radiant light I’d only been able to dream about as of late. I feel my stomach flutter.

“Oh Sehun.”

Why does my name sound so good coming from his mouth?

“I was so happy you called,” he says walking down towards me..

He stops right in front of me and reaches out, taking both of my hands in his.

“I knew you’d call. I knew you’d come to me.”

His laces our fingers together and lifts both of my hands to his face, closing his eyes as he nuzzles into them like I’m his source of security. He opens his eyes, still pressing his cheek to my knuckles, and our eyes meet. I can feel the words against my skin when he speaks.

“I knew you loved me too.”

-to be continued-

AN: annnnd Tao returns! But at this point I think Sehun is attached to Kai whereas before he was only attachd to Tao. Does anyone here think Tao's character is creepy? Or is he a more trustworthy person than Kai? Or do they both seem super shady? haha what's a Sehun to do!? My fav character actually became Yesung but he isn't planned to pop up for awhile

Thanks for reading! thanks for comments (gimme comments i love them and i eat them for dinner). And thanks for subbing! Oh also upvotes too! None of my actual friends are reading my fic becasuse it's so weird so thanks so much everyone!