four

I think it was the most beautifully I’ve ever played. It wasn’t the most complex and neither was it perfect but it was beautiful. I felt it more than in the tips of my fingers. My heart buzzed with feelings and the music washed not over me but through me.

Was this how music sounded when played with passion?

My fingers were shaking when I finished and the room was so calm. I truly felt alone and I was no longer afraid.

“Kai,” I said, turning to where I thought he would be but he was no longer there.

I packed mythings and exited the room, gasping as I opened the door only to come face to face with Tao. I was supposed to have gone home and he cause me still here but I didn’t care enough to cover my lie.

“That song…” he began.

Oh, had he been listening?

“It was so…,” he wrung his fingers together and next said the thing we usually avoid saying to other music students. “You’re really good.”

Unwittingly I blushed.

“Th,thanks.”

“No! I mean it! I haven’t heard such passion in a really long time,” Tao said.

He turned slightly away with a reflective look in his eyes.

“I’m glad I don’t play the same instrument as you. I don’t want that competition.”

Ah, and there it was. Finally, Tao showed his long hidden music student spirit.

“Are you joining chamber or a quartet?” he aske

I shook my head, “I’m a soloist.”

Tao’s shoulders sagged, “That’s a shame. I’d totally love to play with someone as good as you.”

I wanted to protest that I wasn’t good. I’d heard the same compliment for years, having started saying at age 2, but it never embarrassed me quite as much as it did then when it was from Tao.

“I… I’ll think about it,” I said.

Tao’s face brightened and I had to look away.

I don’t know what compelled me to say that. Doing chamber or a quarter would cut into my solo practice time, after all. Symphony orchestra seemed good enough without adding more but the mere thought of disappointed Tao over ruled such thought.

“Say, are you feeling better? Should you even be playing?” he asked.

“It’s fine,” I muttered. “Just nerves.”

“So even someone like you gets nervous, huh?”

I pursed my lips.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to be so rude,” Tao’s face softened. “I don’t know what came over me.”

I didn’t bother telling him that that’s what music does; it makes you brutal.

“I really do want to be friends and now that I know you play as you do it’d be even more awesome to have you around.”

“Thanks,” I replied awkwardly.

He smiled awkwardly back.

“I mean it. You seem really interesting, Oh Sehun.”

“Really interesting,” another voiced echoed and I freeze at the sound of that voice whispering in my mind.

Tao tilted his head, “Sehun, are you fine?”

“Ah, yes,” I say straightening. “But I think I’ll head home anyway.”

“OK,” Tao smiles. “Don’t let the nerves get to you, OK! You’re great!”

I get home. The entire way back my mind was blank but as soon as my room door closes behind me I know I should have savored that silence. The demon called Kai is there seated on my bed.

“How did it feel?” Kai asked without greeting. “To have me inside you?”

I bristled.

“You played better than you ever have before… Thanks to me. If you allowed it you’d be unrivaled. Just let it in.”

“No.”

I keep my reply short and move to get out of my uniform.

“Tao seemed to like it.”

I whirl and glare, “Leave Tao out of it!”

I don’t know why but I feel defensive at the mention of Tao. He seems as pure as one could be in the music world and the thought of this demon entering and spoiling him drives me mad.

“What? Don’t worry. He’s felt it. He knows how I feel.”

“You—“

“All of you classmates do. They’re not as stubborn as you. The only difference is if I don’t want them to they can’t see me, can’t speak to me and definitely can’t hear me. They’re not even cognizant that they feel me. But you… ”

“What are you?” my voice wavers. “What do you want from me?”

“I already told you. I want you to play.”

“And I did!”

“Yes, it was splendid.”

“I don’t want to play!” I protest.

“Then why do you?”

I look down, “It’s… it’s the only thing I know how to do.”

There is silence and I look up only to see the wraith staring back at me with soft and sad eyes. It was the face he made earlier when he told me he wanted me to play. Why was this so important to him.

“Sehun,” his tone is no longer mocking. It’s soft and maybe even kind and sorry. “I don’t think you understand. If you don’t play you’re going to die.”

“I’m already dead!”

“No, you’re not dead yet,” Kai shook his head. “Be glad you’re not dead yet. I saved you, today. Without me you’d be…”

I feel a chill run over me and I rub my arms and look away.

“You’re just trying to scare me to keep playing.”

“And if I leave right now what will you do?”

I hug myself tighter.

“That’s right,” he continues. “Whether I’m here or not you’re going to keep playing.”

I can’t refute that so I still say nothing.

“Do you know why?”

I shake my head.

“Because you already know if you don’t you’ll die. Really die.”

“I…” I feel my eyes begin to sting as I blink hard. A large lump is lodged in my throat and I fall backwards to sit upon my bed. “I don’t want to die.”

“I know.”

I rub at my arms trying to keep away the cold creeping into me.

“Then play,” he says.

“But why? Why is it like this?” I ask, looking straight at him now. “I never asked for any of this.”

“You don’t have to. You were born like this. You and I we’re the same thing. We’re Muses: consumers of passion.”

-to be continued....

AN: there ya go! an update. thanks everyone who reads, subs, upvotes and comments! it means a lot. so what is a Muse? well find out next time ^o^