“Sometimes you need a break down, like yelling at everyone, cry until you fall and can’t breathe. Then you feel better. And if you don’t, at least people will know you’re not okay…”

Song inserted in this chap: Love Against Will (Qing Fei De Yi) by Harlem Yu (credit to owner)

25th April 2014, Beijing, China

Song Won Seuk was having photo shooting for his latest CF in a studio today. The schedule has been crazy in the past 2 weeks and this was the third time he travelled to China already since his new CF was confirmed.

They were having a short break now and the stylist coordinator was touching up his makeup and hair for him. He saw Park Shin Hye was sitting at the corner, alone. It’s very obvious her mind was not there and was just looking blankly at something. It has been 2 weeks already since she officially transferred to work with him. Sometimes, he wondered why Shin Hye didn’t request to become an artist. She definitely has the outlook and the most important thing was she can act very well. Whenever she was working around the crews, she will work very professionally and the smiles she wore on her face, he was sure everyone was convinced that she was alright. But when she’s alone, like now, her real self will surfaced.

Song Won Seuk made his way to Shin Hye and took a seat beside her. Shin Hye was still in her deep thoughts when she realized his sudden appearance.

“Reminds me to make a complaint with your ex-boss when we are back to Seoul tomorrow.” Won Seuk said, looking at her.

“Meo?” Shin Hye couldn’t get what he was talking about.

“You are responsible, you are capable, you are hardworking and you are smart. But you work like a robot without feelings. You don’t even notice your boss was having a short break and I’m actually waiting for you to get me some drinks. And you just sit here daydreaming. You don’t really care for your boss, do you? Or you are just being unfair because I’m not as handsome as your ex-boss.”

Shin Hye glared at him before let out a soft laugh. “I don’t really take care of him last time. He was the one who took care of me. Whenever he had a break, he will get Manager Han to buy us drinks and what I need to do was just to sit right in front of him. So I’m basically doing the same thing now.”

“Wow. That was so romantic, huh? So please reminds me again, why on earth you want to break up with him?” Won Seuk asked.

Shin Hye pursed her lips and she felt a pain in her chest when he mentioned the word break up. “Because I like you more and wish to work for you.” Shin Hye said, trying to hide her real emotion behind the joke.

“Haha… Yeah right.” Won Seuk laughed sarcastically. “But since you still can joke around, I assume you are alright.” He looked at Shin Hye again before he continued. “Did you call him? Or did he call you?”

“No.” They haven’t seen each other since they came back from Qingdao 2 weeks ago. No calls, no texts, nothing. She guessed he was busy filming his new movie Gangnam Blues now and it’s actually a good thing that he was busy. So he will not have the time and energy to be sad and think about her.

“I heard he was busy filming his new movie and Manager Choi said his filming schedule was crazy. They were filming day and night and he can only take a short nap in the van every day. And there were a lot of fighting scenes. He lost quite a lot of weight.” Won Seuk told her.

Shin Hye was now looking at him worriedly. “Lost a lot of weight?” She tried to look for his filming photos online every day but she couldn’t find anything. She knew the agency and the production company are trying to stop all the photos to post online before the movie release.

“We will be back tomorrow and we don’t need to travel for at least 2 weeks. I’m sure you will bump into him and you will see him yourself. Even you’re not with him anymore, you can still care for him as a friend. So don’t try to force yourself to do something that will hurt him and you.” Won Seuk patted softly on her shoulder before making his way back for the shooting.

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“Cut! Good job Min Ho. We will take 45 minutes for lunch break now.” Min Ho bowed politely to the director before making his way to the van outside. Manager Han was following behind him. Min Ho gets into the van and leaned his head back and closed his eyes.     

“Yah! What are you doing here? We already bought the lunchbox over there and you better go grab something to eat. You looked terrible.” Manager Han said.

“I’m supposed to look terrible in the movie. So don’t worry. Is a good thing that I looked terrible. Just leave me alone. I need to sleep for a while. I don’t have any appetite.” Min Ho replied, still with his eyes closed.

Manager Han let out a deep sigh. “You are supposed to look terrible physically but not emotionally. You have been working day and night and just sleep less than 2 hours every day. Since “you-know-who” left 2 weeks ago, you hardly eat anything and look at yourself. You lose so much weight and looked unhealthy. If you miss her so much that make you can’t even eat and sleep at all, then just call her. Or else you have to move on. Stop torturing yourself and stop torturing me.”

“I’m alright. If you know I only slept for less than 2 hours every day, then leave me alone and let me rest now. I’m not hungry.” Min Ho said as he put his arm to cover his eyes.

“She’s at Beijing with Song Won Seuk now and she will be back tomorrow.”

Min Ho opened his eyes immediately and looked at his manager.

Manager Han sighed before he continued. “You were asking me about her schedule, right. I’m telling you now. She’s with Won Seuk in Beijing. She was flying around China these 2 weeks with him. I’ve been refusing to let you know because I don’t want you to be affected by this. It’s very obvious she was trying hard to avoid you. I think you should give her more time and give yourself more time.”

Min Ho looked down and chuckled to himself. “I just don’t understand what exactly went wrong. We were still okay when I had my concert in Japan. That night when we were in the karaoke in Qingdao, I can feel it. The way she was looking at me, I’m sure she still loves me and she was even crying. I can sense she was hiding something from me. But I just don’t understand what is going on. And now she’s far away from me with a guy who definitely have feelings for her. I feel helpless.”

Manager Han shook his head and let out another sigh as he patted softly on Min Ho’s shoulder.

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Shin Hye was lying on the bed in the hotel room and was playing with the lock and key charm hanging on her bracelet. The key to my heart. This sweet line was written on the card when he gave her the bracelet. How long was that? She touched her wrist softly and she could barely see the scar already. It seems long ago but it feels like just yesterday.

Someone pressed her room’s doorbell and shook her from her deep thoughts. She pushed her body up lazily and made her way to open the door. As predicted, it was Song Won Seuk.

“I know you will say no if I ask you to accompany me for dinner. So I’m going to change another way to ask you. Since the last time you make a big hoo-ha when you drag me out for lunch, you have to pay me back now. Remember the lounge we went last time? We will just grab a fast dinner, I promise.” Won Seuk said as he blink his eye at Shin Hye before she could open .

Shin Hye let out a defeated smile before nodded her head.

The lounge was still the same, still cosy with a live band playing some soothing Chinese song to entertain the guests. But it felt more comfortable compared last time because it was not decorated with some romantic flowers around this time. Won Seuk was enjoying his spaghetti while Shin Hye was eating her salad mindlessly.

Won Seuk saw the leftover on Shin Hye’s plate when he finished his food. He shook his head and sighed. “You didn’t eat anything today and you can’t even finish up this few pieces for leaves now? You are killing yourself slowly. Should I transfer you back to your ex-boss and stop all this nonsense already? I don’t want people to see how good you looked when you were working with him but look like a zombie when you are working with me.”

“I’m just not hungry. I’m alright, don’t worry.” Shin Hye assured him with a smile. But her attention was distracted when she heard a familiar melody played by the live band. She turned to the small stage in front of them when the live band started to sing.

♩ ♪ ♫ ♩ ♪ ♫

It's hard to forget the first time I saw you
that fascinating pair of eyes
In my mind your image couldn't get it out of my head
When I hold your hands and feel your tenderness
It's really a bit too much for me to handle
Your innocence is something I want to treasure
if you're wronged by anyone I will grieve
♩ ♪ ♫ ♩ ♪ ♫

----------

Shin Hye: “W-what are you doing? You shouldn’t…”

Min Ho: “The more I resist and push you away, the closer I get to you. I have no intention to make the situation worse. So stay away from me before you get hurt. I don’t know how long I can hold myself not to cross that line.”

----------

Shin Hye: “I was so worried the whole night waiting for your text to see you are back home or not but you don’t even bother to reply me.”

Min Ho: “You were not angry of hyung scolded you because of me but was angry because I went to Min Young’s house and didn’t text you when I’m back home? Is that jealousy I smell?”

----------

Shin Hye: “If a person like Park Min Young, a rising star at that time couldn’t work it out with you, what makes you think an ordinary girl like me can do it?”

Min Ho: “I know it would be risky and I’m selfish. I keep asking myself over and over again last night. What if it doesn’t work out? What if I hurt you in the process? I tried to find hundreds and thousands excuses to stop myself from being selfish but what if it does work out? I’m ready to take the risk because that person is you.”

----------

♩ ♪ ♫ ♩ ♪ ♫

I'm just afraid I will fall in love with you 

Dare not let myself come too close to you
I fear not having something to offer you 

Loving you may require a lot of courage too

I'm just afraid I will fall in love with you

Maybe one day I won't control it anymore
Thinking just makes one suffer

I just can't help falling in love with you
♩ ♪ ♫ ♩ ♪ ♫

----------

Min Ho: “Is that how you feel about me?”

Min Ho: “I know is not easy to be with someone like me. I was afraid too but I just couldn’t let you walk away from me. I don’t know what mess I will drag you into but at this moment, I just want to be selfish for once.”

----------

Min Ho: “I heard people said a heart shaped lock with a key on a bracelet represents you and your lover that will be together forever.”

Shin Hye: “I love it. It’s very beautiful. Thank you.”

----------

Min Ho: “Do you know what red roses means? It means I love you. I love you, Park Shin Hye.”

Shin Hye: . “I love you too, oppa.”

----------

♩ ♪ ♫ ♩ ♪ ♫

What’s the reason why I suddenly met you again
I really really don’t want to
fall into this love trap...

I'm just afraid I will fall in love with you

Dare not let myself come too close to you
I fear not having something to offer you

Loving you may require a lot of courage too

I'm just afraid I will fall in love with you

Maybe one day I won't control it anymore
Thinking just makes one suffer

 I just can't help falling in love with you