Chapter Six

“No, no, this ain’t true! Baekhyun must live forever, he still has a lot of years to spend with his loving fans! This can’t be true… No!” she thought to herself silently with violent head shakes of her head. Her finger travelled to the pages and as she noticed her anger was reflecting to her fingers, she decided to put back the book into its shelf.

As she passed across the bookshelves lining the room, she continued to the other room where names in L-P are located. She came to the adjacent bookshelf, containing the names in letter J. Her hands found a certain book, as if the book chose her or whatnot. It was as if an instinct that tells her to pick this maroon-coloured book with gold linings.

And yes, it was her very book. But the difference was, at the very front page, where her name was located, was a big purple mark stamp mark saying, “Deceased” in big, bold letters, as if emphasizing what just have happened. It kind of insulted her but she somehow she learned to accept the truth.

Through the old pages of the book which were already damaged by bookworms, showed her true life, her personality, who she really is, and everything about her. It showed pictures of her when she was born, at her early childhood, when she first got her tooth removed by the dentist and some special facts about herself, but the thing that caught her attention was a page simply layout with an only picture of a pen.

It was her pen she kept during those last days she lived. It was a pen which travelled throughout her last days, it was her pen. Her pen Baekhyun had touched, it was that pen of hers she treasured the most. Before she jumped off of the edge of the building she clutched that one pen, carve it on a stone, she lived through that pen, it was assign she ever existed.

The sight of the pen made her quite emotional. Her heart was captured by it, her tears were attempted to drop by it, her teeth clench because of it. It is the cause of her reflex actions. She used to draw stick figures on her notebook with it, make doodles on certain pages she have, create some short stories she post on various Korean-ized websites. It was that pen that made her alive. It was that pen that agve her life meaning. It was that pen that brought her colorless life alive.

If not because of that, she may have a doll-like, ghostly form when she was living, she may just be a normal teenager to everybody. She may not have heard about K-pop and its various forms of friendships and families. It was the best of the best, the grim of the crop, the pen.

It helped her live a life everyone wishes to have. It gave meaning and clear thoughts to her life. A pen can’t just always be a pen. A pen could also be your everything. She just realized it now, it was that pen which helped her for her survival. It was this time, this point of her life when she just thought of it, when she just paused for a second and remembered what that very pen brought to her, color and life. She just realized it now that’s he’s not breathing, now that she doesn’t need nutrients anymore, now that she isn’t visible by the human eye.

The pen, that blue pen, that pen of hers…

A pen which made her dream come true, a pen which brought life to her, a pen that made her into a form, a pen that made circular emotions for her. A pen she could reminisce, a pen she could think about, a pen which is the only thing in the world she consider as hers.

Her fingers slid over the very last occupied page. There, her eyes spotted that date, that date she died. Accompanied with a picture of her, just about to step on the edge. It looked like an article on blogspot. At the very top of the page was big bold letters, as if stating a headline, “Yong Jikyun’s Amazing Death.”

She found it disturbing having her pre-death picture on the book. Is it really necessary? It was quite offensive for her, stating how “amazing” her death was. But then, on the picture was Baekhyun. It wasn’t quite clear but it shows a perfect body silhouette of him. She knew it was his, who else would be there?

She jumped in joy seeing the picture. Her roughened head relaxed after seeing it. It was ever every sasaeng fan ever wanted to have, a picture with their idol. Fans tried sneaking inside artists’ dorms but failed. They did everything just for that one picture. That one picture that she always died to have. You could say she’s stupid for dreaming about a picture, but you don’t know how much it means to her.

A tear escaped her eye. Finally, she got what she wanted. It wasn’t clear, it wasn’t that high quality, but she was there, and he was also there. That’s what matters now.

As she opened her eyes once again, she saw the date. It reminded her of Baekhyun’s. She remembered that Baekhyun still has a long way to go. He still has to do a lot. Serve the fans, have a family.  “I pledge to myself to always keep an eye on him, I need to take care of him, for my whole existence.” Her whisper brought shivers to her cold body.

Under the page, was a small written note.

“Emotions completed: 34%”

Still a long way to go. Still have 66% to accomplish. But she don’t have a time for that. She quickly left the abandoned mansion and followed her instincts. Do I need to refresh you about The World of K-pop, fans’ instincts and their awesomeness?

Let me just remind you that you cannot simply call a stranger dumb for taking a way full of curves, stones and tacks on it, specially K-pop fans. Who knows, that way maybe the way to the light at the end of the tunnel, or the much-more-easier-looking road has hidden monsters on it.

An hour later, Gangnam-gu, Seoul

“Wow... did I left for a long time...? ‘Cause a lot of things had already changed...,” she silently whispered to herself, gazing through the Metropolitan Center of South Korea. It has changed, a lot. The billboards, the highway, the buildings.

By the word change, I am referring to the trend. All over the whole Seoul, was just one headline airing. Radios, billboard, loose leaf of newspapers, they were all saying one thing; Society Already Accepted Taeyeon and Baekhyun Dating

All over, it was flashing. It was the worldwide news. Just after she died, it was just a new daily gossip everyone wants to hear, now that she came back, it’s now for four months and accepted by fans. Time sure flies past. Yesterday’s just a problem and now’s more problems.

Headlines on newspapers.

Headlines on Korean News.

Arirang’s been flooded.

Fans’ comments created an online tornado.

Tweets, posts, were showering.

She missed a lot.

She felt guilt and anger inside of her. Not because her favourite bias on the whole wide world, for which she spent her years chasing is now dating, but because of how she wasn’t there to support him during the time fans barely can hold the truth.

Those time fans threw a lot of negativity and hate towards him, she wasn’t there. During those range of the clock that fans and the whole Earth can’t take the fact, she was gone. Before she joined the group of sasaeng fans, she pledged to always keep an eye to him, but now she failed.

The cold, polluted breeze of Seoul blew through her. She felt it. She felt the coldness, she even felt goosebumps forming. Just the right mixture of pollution and coldness to bring her down, to be disappointed. Her eyes became watery and salty-tasting water formed on her waterline, rolled from her eyes, down her cheeks so dramatically. “I guess she was right, I am a spirit.”

As the wind blew once again, it swept off a loos leaf of a newspaper. Jikyun felt it “pleading” on her foot. With the help of her hands, she slowly wiped away the tears but not the pain nor the disappointment, bending down to reach for the paper.

It was unlikely and strange to found some trash laying around the streets of the capital of a 1^st class country. If you would search all over South Korea for a trash, you would unlikely to find some.

It looked like it was forcefully ripped off with so much anger, pain. Torn with shaking hands, but still managed to be ripped. It was the first page of a daily newspaper. With Baekhyun and Taeyeon’s first dating news on it. She noticed the date was two months ago.  “So it was kept?”

She was just about to crumple it up and throw it when she noticed a note written just beside the article picture. It was written in red ink, you cannot really say it was ink, but... it says:

Dear my love, Baekhyun. If you will not break up with that fat Taeyeon, I will use your snowflake ring to kill myself. I love you.

Written in authentic Hangul writing and it was ink but blood. Definitely blood. The blood was still fresh. It gave Jikyun a signal that this girl might be out there somewhere. Jikyun scrunched it up and threw it while dashing to look for that fan. She secretly smiled to herself, “Sasaeng fans,” she guessed.

It was so predictable how a fan will be so desperate for Baekhyun to break up with her. It was so predictable and the usual sasaeng fan attitude she was used to. It was that kind of attitude she grew up with. That threatening message with red ink as always. Nothing has changed. Traditional sasaeng fans are still out there.

Wow, I missed noting Note: Heyya guys. Oh, so who decided to update? Meeee! I know, I know you ahve ebeen waiting guys (as if you are :3) But last week has just been a whole disaster, I had my exams, investigatory project, so I only had the time to update today. I, cuteismysterious pledge to make the updates regularly, weekly if possible :D Pray for me for my grades. Thank you everybody, do not forget to sub and comment all the way you want.

Commenting is like praying, communicating :3 We should communicate so I know who enjoys my story!

No oh, no oh, I cant breathe!

PS. Giving away 100Karma to whoever will first find what is wrong with this chapter. There is something not right, and now I am not talking about English grammar or spelling, I am referring to the plot. ouo

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Byeiiie! Have a good day and xoxo from Crissy (cuteismysterious) Follow me on Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/KhyuhyunWifey