Chapter Four

Jikyun stood near the edge of the rooftop. If she will take another step back, she would be dead meat for sure. She was just so close to the edge; the edge that will end her life. To suicide is her best option in the moment, but it is the worst decision to be made, ever. “Good bye, world. Good bye, sasaeng life. Good bye, Baekhyun,” She silently spoke before taking a step back.

Jikyun felt the gushing feeling of the air on her back as she fell from the roof top. It was already 4 o’clock in the morning and soon, the sun will light up the whole South Korea. Her fingers tightly hold onto her pen.

“This pen is a sign that I ever existed,” She barely whispered as she let go of the pen. Her eyes watched as the pen flew and fell right next to her. Jikyun slowly closed her eyes for making such a dumb decision. But she has no choice but to deal with it. She has no other option to save her at the moment.

Well, Baekhyun could have saved her and defend her against SM’s manager, but nah. Jikyun isn’t that delusional to expect such a thing. She could actually imagine Baekhyun saving her by dragging her downstairs and kicking Soo Man with his Hapkido techniques, but no. That. Is. Not. Going to happen. Never in a thousand years.

Would Jikyun really think that Baekhyun will have feelings for him, no. She isn’t that stupid to assume that much. She did anticipate Baekhyun will show up after he called her but she won’t expect this time. Hell, Jikyun’s not that close to Baekhyun for that to happen. In fact, they only met just 24 hours ago.

Jikyun opened her eyes. Her lids felt like they were a thousand times heavier than usual. She peeked through the room. The lights weren’t very dim or very bright so she quickly saw where she was. It was a room that has no other color than white. “Did I really survive?” She mumbled inside her thoughts as she felt her body in just a piece.

“Oh, shoot. That Soo Man will surely hunt me down now that I’m not yet dead,” She whispered inaudibly when a woman interrupted her, “You know, I learned from medicine school that talking to yourself is one of the signs of actually losing it,” A woman in white told her.

“Ughhh…,” She cleared hoping that she’ll get the attention of the other person inside the room. Seconds later, she didn’t reply which pissed Jikyun so much. Is she deaf or is she playing deaf? Jikyun cleared once again. Not going to lie but if this woman won’t answer she’ll definitely burn her alive or chop her in pieces.

“Oh,” The woman gasped as she shifted her gaze at Jikyun. She blurted out loud while turning into her, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening!”She then took her headphones off of her ears. The woman was in a nurse outfit so she assumed she was a nurse and she was in a hospital. The woman possesses a crazy aura that Jikyun hated so much. Actually, she wasn’t in favor of positive people, she hates them.

“How can I help you?” The nurse asked before turning her attention back at her table. Jikyun just rolled her eyes as she slightly distant herself away from the nurse’s direction. She hates really positive people. All this time, she has been chasing him and nothing always happens. It just freaking hurts to see happy people when she was dying out of everything.

“Uhm…Ca-can I have a walked a-around?” She stammered as a response to her question. Even though Jikyun relay hates this kind of people, she still respects them as huan being. For one they have the right to be respected. But actually, people never respected sasaeng fans’ rights.

“Oh, sure. Just make sure you’re just around in case I need to talk to you,” The nurse replied with a slight smile. Jikyun quickly hopped off of the hospital bed and slipped her feet into the slippers.

“I hate hospital rooms. They are so boring. You could easily die out of boredom after being inside one,” Jikyun whispered before she walked over the door and opened it. It’s better to stay outside and do something rather than to spoil up inside the room.

The usual hospital scent lingered through her nose. It was that boring medicine-like smell. Honestly, the scent smelled like railings of metal, nothing but metal. It makes people sick. Hospitals are where people are born and die. How could the doctors stay at this place?

Jikyun took a look around and found three girls sitting near her room. They look all the same but different. The girls remind her of her friends because they had their noses onto their phones. They all looked addicted to mobile phone. You could also hear the famous sentence usually said by sasaeng fans from them, “Fingers, type faster! Don’t fail me now.”

Jikyun sat beside one of them and took a peek through her phone. “Hey, how’s the news?” She smiled sheepishly as all three of them looked at her at the same time with the same blank, wide-eyed expression.

“Haven’t you heard?” They all growled at Jikyun. Same words, same pronunciation, same way of uttering and same tone, everything is the same. Not to mention, they’re clothes were just the same. What the first one has, all three of them have. They were just in different colors. A bonnet, a jacket, tight jeans and a pair of boots.  They somewhat resemble sasaeng fans…in a way…

All three of them cried out loud before slamming their phones in your face, “EXO-M’s Kris will be leaving EXO!” You were shocked but not that shock. You knew from the start that there will be big news. Why would actually EXO members create their instagram accounts at this stage of their career without any reason? You knew that there would be something big that will happen. But you didn’t know that that something will be about Kris.

Kris is like, this cold guy on camera but off camera, he’s this sassy, y leader. He’s too hard to resist. And also, that aura that both he and Tao possess is just so cool. Kris is actually a very hardworking leader. He loves every member of EXO-K. He appreciates and encourages them to try their best on stage. And with their first win, Jikyun saw how Suho cried. Suho cried like a puppy, he was just so ­– wait, who am I talking about again, Suho or Kris? Oh, yeah. It’s Kris, forgive me for mistaking.

Kris actually looks like a badass, a gangster diva. And actually, on most fanfiction stories Jikyun have read, Kris is a jerk. If Kris isn’t a jerk on a fanfic, then he will be this y wolf or demon or vampire who loves ing the original character. But nah, everyone will miss Kris, won’t we?

“No way! Is it confirmed? That is not true.” Jikyun shouted in shock as her forehead roughened. The three nodded with the same pace and same pattern.

“Yes, it’s already confirmed. We’ve seen it on different sites. Soompi, Allkpop, Koreaboo         -they all reported that SM has confirmed it. We’ve also been sending e-mails to SMEnt. And also, Chanyeol and other members unfollowed Kris’ instagram,” They all said at once. Gradually, Jikyun was already irritated of how their voices sound together so she just backed away and started walking around the hospital.

“Pffft. If it was Baekhyun who left EXO, I’ll definitely cry my ovaries out before jumping off a cliff,” She said to herself as she took a turn and passed through the emergency room.

“It was a good thing, Kris isn’t my bias. Messages to those fans those were lost. Why does it need to be Kris anyway? I mean, he’s been doing real great and everyone’s already seeing him just the way they should. Chicken-is-not-my-style Oppa, Galaxy-Oppa, Cold-guy Oppa, I’ll always remember that you exist,” She mumbled as she trailed down along the hospital. She wasn’t really sure if where she’s going but for sure, she was hurt.

Kris may not be the prettiest rose in the bouquet but he is the coldest ice cube in the cup. She started remembering Kris’ contribution to the Korean-pop music, “Agh, yes. He won the best blonde hair on one year. He is known for that y wink from EXO Showtime Episode One. He also said, “Ddeokbeokkie is not my style,” And oh, boy! He also played the original character’s cousin role on one of the fanfiction I was read-“ Jikyun’s voice was interrupted by a tired lady’s voice.

It was the nurse from the room, earlier. “I’ve been looking for you, Ms. Yong.” Jikyun greeted with a smile. “Oh, hello.” The nurse let out small pants as she tried to catch her breath before actually saying something. She approached Jikyun by running like crazy and waving her name.

“You were instructed to go to this place,” The woman in white told her after catching her breath. She showed her a paper with the address of the place Jikyun was required to visit. At first Jikyun’s head was filled with thoughts. “Who instructed me to go there? Why do I need to go there? And why is the verb used was instructed not any other verb like told or something?” But then, she just ended up shaking her head as the thoughts faded in her mind.

There was a part of her that said, “You need to go, Jikyun!” but then, there was also a part of her telling her to not go. But she just shrugged the second thought and grabbed the paper form the nurse’s hold.

“Well, this is it,” Jikyun muttered to herself as she took another step closer to the black gates. She was sent to a mansion in the middle to a place called “God Knows Where”. It was a huge mansion having its walls painted in cream and black. But before you get to the real mansion, you will first past through the giant gates, giaaaannntttt. The gates looked like they were from the Victorian era. It was painted in black with cute and sassy patterns around.

Jikyun tried to open the gates bu they were locked. She then started explaining herself, not really sure if someone could hear her, “Hmm…I was instructed to go here?” It came out as a question but then, the gates opened without any signal at all.

“Oh, okay. I’ll just pass through,” She told herself as she walked pass the gates. She walked approximately 6 minutes across a garden filled with dead plants. The roses were so colorless and so as all of the other plants that were supposed to be colorful. They all withered and the dead parts of the plants were just all over the place Jikyun was walking.

There was a flower that was completely a whole but colorless that was on her way. Jikyun just walked around it as the cold breeze hit her back with a tingling sensation. The whole mansion looked so colorless and lifeless. And I literally mean lifeless because there was no living soul miles away from the mansion. It was colorless, lifeless and emotionless.

Jikyun just shrugged everything away and proceeded to walk. She then found herself in front of the huge wooden doors. The wooden doors color to her eyes was maroon but how could wood turn into maroon? And also, the doors looked like it was built hundreds of years ago because of the insects already nibbling onto the wood and that it looked so weak.

She knocked a couple of times but there was no answer. She tried again but then there was still dead silence. Jikyunwere pissed and pushed over the limits because, is there even anyone in that house? Hell! She’ve been talking to herself the whole time but really, until now no one ever answered her.

Jikyun was so afraid that it might tremble because of how old it looked if she would knock once more so she just silently opened it, checking if it wasn’t locked. Guess what? The door was completely open the whole time she was knocking.

There completely no person inside, instead there were books and pages all over the place. There was this desk at the middle and it looked so old. The room resembled a library because all those shelves and book scattered. Jikyun’s jaw dropped as she has never seen so many books before. But she completely regained her composure and closed .

 “Uhmm…Hello?” She called out loud before her voice echoed. A woman from below the desk showed up. She looked like she was in her late 20’s, probably older than Jikyun. Her hair was black and silky and was tied in a bun that fits her small petite body. She took out some ripped-off pages off of her hair and eventually dusted her outfit before straightening up.

“Oh, hi there. You are…?” The woman asked waiting for Jikyun’s answer. “You must be the librarian,” Jikyun anticipated while pointing her finger at the woman.

Jikyun told the old woman her name as the woman scanned through a list with different names written on it. “Oh, Yong Jikyun, eh? Come over here and we’ll start the interview,” The lady said with a smile in her lips before removing a torn up page from the heel of her shoes.

“Wait, what, interview? Why am I supposed to get an interview Ms. Librarian?” Jikyun interrogated her while dashing behind her back as both of them entered a room connected to the one they were earlier on. “Am I getting a job?” She asked again but the woman remained silent.

Ms. Librarian sat on the chair behind the table and told Jikyun to seat on the chair in front of the desk. Jikyun settled herself and waited till the librarian broke the silence. “Name?” She asked sternly without even looking at Jikyun while shuffling and browsing through her paper works.

“Yong Jikyun, didn’t I told you that already?” Jikyun answered but a question was thrown back at her as the librarian proceeded.

“Parents’ Name?”

“Yong Janghyun and Yong Jinhee.”

“How did you spend your life before?”

“Wait, huh, before?” She wanted to ask the older woman but just shrugged the though off.

“As a sasaeng fan.”

“A sasaeng fan, huh?”

Jikyun nodded as a response.

“Do you have siblings and how did you treat them?”

‘I was an only child. But I do have a cousin whom I hate so much.”

“Oh, okay. Have you ever had a crush before or someone you adore?”

“Yes. I love this guy named Byun Baekhyun, why?”

“Don’t ask. Birth date?”

“7^th Day of May, 1993.”

“Date of Death?”

“May 9, Two-Wait what?” Jikyun was just answering the question when she realized what it really meant. The woman’s eyes narrowed and just rolled her eyes. Was Jikyun really dead?

The librarian stood from her seat and instructed Jikyun to follow her at the very back of the room. The woman opened a metal box revealing the corpse inside. Jikyun saw her body, her gray cold corpse inside the box. “Am I really dead?” She questioned herself as she took a closer look to the body.

No doubts, it was really her. It was her body that very same night. It was her face plastered on the body. It was her signature bangs and her curly hair that covered the body’s whole back. It was her, but how come she was standing beside her body?

“A-a-am I r-really d-d-de-dead?” She asked out loud pointing her index finger at herself. But the librarian just kept herself silent as if she didn’t hear anything. The woman cleared and proceeded with the questions.

“Is this your body?” She asked Jikyun. Jikyun felt a tinge of electricity shot her back. “This is absurd! Why are you asking me if that’s my body! What are you thinking? Are you a psycho?” Jikyun wanted to smack her sentence against the librarian’s face and rub it against it.

She stammered, “Y-yes.” The woman again asked a question which is most likely the question not to be heard.

“Cause of death?” She inquired after getting back to her seat. Jikyun swallowed the lump forming in as she froze. Who would want to answer a question of why you’re dead? Sure, she jumped off of that building. Sure, she wanted to die, but this?

“I…I jumped off of the edge of a building.” The woman raised a questioning brow at her, as if asking her if it was suicide. “Yes, it is suicide.”

The lady spoke, “Take something from your body, something that’d help you to remember yourself. So we could get rid of it, it smells like dead.” Jikyun stared at her body, trying to remember and process in her head what could she take from her body. The light bulb flickered as she tried to find her pen.

She was hoping it was around her neck but there was nothing in her neck. She checked her body’s pockets and its backpack but found nothing. She also checked her palm and remembered she let go of it while she was falling. It must have not been near her body and fell somewhere else. So she just took her phone instead.

“Oh, okay. Let’s just wait if you could cross.” Ms. Librarian spoke before both of them left the room.

While the librarian sorted something, Jikyun stayed at a seat near the scattered books. She was asking herself if she was really dead. Thousands of thoughts were running in her head. Where is she? How did she get in the hospital? Did she really survive? Is she in South Korea? What will happen to her? What is this messy place?

All of the thoughts sent her to a deep slumber as she waited for the librarian. After a few hours, the librarian came back and tried to wake Jikyun from her sleep. “Jikyun, Jikyun, I got the results,” She softly hummed while shaking Jikyun’s shoulder.

“Oh-oh.” Jikyun’s eyes opened up before she wiped the edge of her lips.

“You couldn‘t across as of now. You’ve wasted your whole life stalking someone,” The woman told Jikyun sternly as the two just stared at each other.

“So…where will I go? Will I stay here?” Jikyun was just so confused. She didn’t know what that meant. Cross? Where will she cross? She was so pissed of how the librarian lectured her for wasting her life. Even here in the afterlife people rant about her, seriously. “I didn’t waste my life!”

“You can go back to your world now,”

Jikyun found herself in the middle of crossing through her window. “Wait – Where am I? Why am I here?” She asked herself before she withdrew her foot from outside the window and brought it back inside her room. She paused to close her window with a loud strike. She then realized she was supposed to sneak out of their house and meet with other sasaengs.

“Oh, so I’m alive? Wait, am I really alive or am I a spirit?” She paused to touch her body and realized she was solid, not invisible nor translucent. There were a lot of questions rushing through her head. All she knew was that she was in a hospital that smelled like copper and then she was sent into a library-like mansion and now; she was inside of her room just about to cross her window.

Oh, balls! What is happening here? Is she really dead? Is she alive? Was she reincarnated? She took a time to process everything and took a seat on her bed. Her face didn’t show any sign of shock or any other emotion; she was just staring at space and just thought of everything.

She wasn’t feeling anything and just stayed calm and thought about what was going on. Her palms were laid beside her on top of her bed, resting against her soft and fluffy bed sheets. “Hmmm…So, a woman just told me I was dead and showed me my body – am I dreaming?” She rested a hand upon her chin and thought deeper.

Her fingers lingered through her neck to search for her pen, but it wasn’t there. She looked and ruffled through her drawers but didn’t saw a thing. Her desk was cleared after she looked for it. But still the pen was gone. She peeked under her bed and saw dust and spider webs. She evn checked her bathroom if it was there, then it wasn’t.

While looking on the sink, she was her face. It was her face 24 hours before the incident happened. It was her face still fresh-looking and fine. “I may be resurrected –“

“I should go see the doc—“ A loud thumping sound stopped her. Her attention was then shifted to her window she just recently closed. Pass her bathroom doors, through her bed; she saw a familiar face behind her lavender curtains.

“H-hey, I needed a place to hide – Mianhe,” The familiar guy said before taking a 90 degree bow. Jikyun’s jaw dropped and just a wave of shock washed over her body as she saw who it was. It was the guy she was chasing for, for years! A voice at the back of her mind told her, “You will be coming back to your world to fix your screwed life. You need to obtain emotions you’ve lost, though.”

Her body trembled as she saw who it was, it was Byun Baekhyun! Baekhyun with a white string attached around his neck. It was Byun Freaking Baekhyun. Jikyun was so surprise as she can ever be like there were no words coming from !

This was such a coincidence to happen, of all houses Baekhyun chose Jikyun’s room to hide? But why is Baekhyun hiding in the first place?

“Byun…B-byun Baekhyun…” Jikyun mouthed slowly as she froze in place. Her eyes eyed that pen hooked upon that string. It was hers! This can’t be happening…This is not true. She saw her dirty pen around Byun Baekhyun’s neck. “Did he really care? Did he even care about me?!” Jikyun was so curious and shock of what was going on. Her heart was racing so fast that nobody could even catch it. Her heart pounded loudly against her chest as she looked onto Baekhyun’s eyes.

Baekhyun brought back the stare that sent her heart thumping so hard and loud. The sound of her heart beating echoed through her ears as she thought of evrythinga nd tried to absorb what was happening.

“Was it all about emotions as of now?”

“Congratulations, Jikyun! You’ve earned the emotion of shock and curiosity!”

Author's Note: Hey guys! As you all know this is a contest entry and I need to follow the rules of the contest, and so the story will only have 5 chapters. I'm so sorry. I wanted to give more but then it's limited. I have a lot of thoughts and ideas but yeah :/ Anyways, if I'll be out of the contest, I could continue, but if I will be proceeding to the next round, I don't know what will happen. I joined to win and to not lose but guys, on June 22, I'll reveal if there'll be more or not. 

Thank you very much everyone! <3 To FunkyFunkyChenChen thanks! 

SARANGHAE, CRISSY (CUTEISMYSTERIOUS) <3