Chapter Eight

Jung Hyuk looked at the main vocalist shocked. Hyesung seemed to be surprised by the answer as he lifted his palm onto his lips and tried to utter something. He wanted to get married, though in the sake of Shinhwa Changjo he thought he would be killed by the glares, but his heart and brain, though they had disagreements, said pretty much the same thing right now.

“But I thought…”

“I do love you, Jung Hyuk ah, but…” Hyesung took the hands into his and them. “…I…I don’t…feel ready yet.”

Jung Hyuk gulped, his face showing rather devastated horrify. He had always pondered that Hyesung was the weakest link in Shinhwa. What he had read from the magazines he had piled up into his closet for decades. He had known that stealing him deliciously from his brother would be easy and taking his heart wouldn’t pay anything to anyone. And he had seen all those interviews about marriage, how they all wanted to have someone to spend the rest of their lives with.

“But…I bought a ring for you.” Jung Hyuk murmured, giving the ring. “And I…thought you wanted this.”

“I do.” Hyesung smiled, cupping the face. “But not…yet.”

Jung Hyuk was confused as Hyesung butted their lips together and pecked him briefly. He had lost. Eric had been right. It was too soon whatever he wanted to do. Jung Hyuk bit his lip and looked at Hyesung, who he had begun to like during the dating. He had no heart to command him to say yes.

“If I give you time to consider it,” He said. “Will you think about it…one more time?”

Hyesung sighed. “I will. I promise.”

                ***

 Junjin lied on his bed, Andy peeling some apples and Dongwan reading a book when the phone beeped on the night stand. Junjin reached to take it with his working hand, the ribs aching from the bones, as he tapped it open and let out a gasp. He couldn’t reckon the day he had gotten a text from Hyesung, but when he did, he still couldn’t believe it.

He sat up and read the written message thousand times before he almost jumped from the bed and ran out to grab his shoes. Andy blinked his eyes but continued peeling the apple, and Dongwan looked at the door before he turned a page when Junjin returned back to the room and sat down onto the bed.

“Seriously? You won’t ask?” He questioned, placing the shoe covered feet onto Andy’s lap to tell him to tie the shoelaces.

“No.” Andy shook his head. “But now that you are here, got a text from Hyesung hyung?”

Junjin nodded.

“What did it say?” Dongwan interrogated. “Something that made you forgive him so soon?”

“He…was proposed to…but he said…no.” Junjin stammered.

Andy looked at the other guy across him as he turned his gaze back at Junjin and smiled at him when the laces had been tied. Junjin got onto his feet and adjusted the arm case, rubbing the elbow again. Andy got up and put the plate of apples to the nightstand and walked off.

“Where are you going?” The two asked in unison.

“Home, duh. If you are fine, I won’t stay here for nothing.” The maknae chuckled and exited the apartment. Dongwan exhaled exasperated and rose from the chair.

“He makes sense. See you later Jin.”

                ***

Hyesung sat on the bench in the park when he heard the familiar breathing behind him. He turned his head and flashed a smile as he welcomed Junjin to sit next to him. The younger lad sat down and avoided looking at the main vocalist.

“How are you?” They interrogated.

Junjin snorted. “I’ve been better.” He responded, hand on the cast. “And you?”

“I was proposed to, Jin, what do you think?” Hyesung answered.

They fell into silence.

“So…what really happened…to you?” The older guy asked.

“What do you mean?” Junjin either tried to play time to come up with a respond, or he really hadn’t any idea what Hyesung wanted to know.

The lead singer shifted his head and looked at the baby bird, his eyebrows scrunching down. Junjin bowed his head down and moved his legs in the air, brushing some dirt on the ground. It swirled under his shoes. Junjin wanted Hyesung to know the truth. But would he believe him?

“What happened to your face, arms, legs…?” Hyesung interrogated.

“If I told you,” Junjin commenced. “It would cost serious problems. First of all, you wouldn’t believe and I would attack you to make you realise. And second of all, I would have to prove it to you, but would you still believe it?”

Hyesung frowned as Junjin leered at him seriously. “What are you talking about?” The older guy retorted. Junjin stood up from the bench and stepped in front of his mommy bird, looking at him sincerely. Hyesung blinked his eyes.

“Hyung, don’t marry him.” The taller one mumbled.

“I am still considering.”

“Hyung…”

“Junjin…” Hyesung hissed. “It’s my future. I don’t care if you guys hate him…because I love him.” He continued.

The baby bird scowled devastated when Hyesung stood up. They goggled at one another more than before. This time the gazes were determined. Junjin knew Hyesung was frightened. He could see it, hear it. Even the text message had been timid. He stepped closer and lifted his working arm onto the shoulder. He placed his forehead onto the other and waited for Hyesung to hug him back.

“If you choose him,” The main vocalist heard the murmur. “This will be the last hug you ever receive. I love you hyung…but I can’t handle the pain. I will endure it. But I can’t handle it.”

Junjin withdrew and wiped off the tears that flooded on the man’s face and grinned. Then he stepped back and tossed his body around, receding from the shorter lad. As soon as Junjin was at the exit of the park, Hyesung collapsed onto the bench and fisted his hands onto the thighs. The whispering words entered his ears once Junjin had disappeared and the furrow on the forehead deepened. What pain?

                ***

Junjin threw his mobile phone to the small desk next to the door. He saw two pairs of familiar shoes and a smile appeared onto his lips as the fact that the two members hadn’t left him after all occurred in his mind. He was grinning even wider when he stepped into his room and stopped instantly, seeing Andy coughing blood and Dongwan leaning against the wall.

“What…what happened?” Junjin asked.

Andy coughed more blood and looked at Dongwan as if telling him to explain. The oldest of them grumbled and held his arm.

“Jung Hyuk visited us…apparently…your precious mommy bird had spilled out about your little meeting in the park and he came to see you.” Dongwan stated. “Only thing he said was that we should have kept you still and never let you go…because…you know…he would then beat us. And I think provoking him really does make him mad…so…we took the hits for you.”

Junjin bit his cheeks.

“And…he said something about cheating on him…but I don’t know.” Dongwan muttered and closed his eyes to the aching pain on his upper arm.

“Jin ah…” Andy whispered. “Maybe it’d be better if…you…” He coughed again. “…avoided Hyesung hyung…until he is outta way.”

Junjin nodded.

“For Hyesung’s sake…do it.”

                ***

Hyesung was hanging out with Jung Hyuk once the break had begun. Minwoo had told them to have 10 minutes to do whatever they needed and Hyesung had gone out with Jung Hyuk and the rest to have a cigarette. Andy, Junjin and Minwoo had already went in when Dongwan had announced that he feels alone as a non- smoker and commanded some of them to accompany him. So it was Eric, Hyesung and Jung Hyuk who stayed outside.

Eric was crouched down on the ground, puffing the smoke in and then out. Hyesung held his cigarette between his fingers and inhaled.

“Are you sure you don’t want any?” He interrogated once exhaling. “You can accept them if you feel like it.”

“No, I told you, my love, I do not smoke.” Jung Hyuk said and smiled.

“Are you sure? Are you sure you don’t do it when you’re stressed?” The main vocalist asked, being obnoxiously loud. Eric sighed on the ground and damped his cigarette after he had gotten up. “Because I am very sure I tasted smoke when I kissed you last week.”

Jung Hyuk sensed the rage that was seething inside him. Eric widened his eyes in shock and looked at the ground, all the cigarettes he had smoked. Then his eyes visited Hyesung and the brother, who was looking directly at him. Jung Hyuk wanted to kill him. That look didn’t tell anything else but murder.

“No, love.” Jung Hyuk spoke gently. “I do not smoke. Maybe you thought you tasted it. Or maybe…maybe…you kissed another man.”

Hyesung felt his heart stopping for a fraction of a second as he sensed Eric behind him.

“But…” Jung Hyuk chuckled absurdly. “You wouldn’t mix us, right?”

The slightly older guy was now looking at Eric. The leader fisted his hand and glared over Hyesung’s shoulder, feeling the anger and shock of the realisation inside him. Hyesung nodded.

“And that someone who you kissed would have said no…to your request…anyways…” The oldest at the moment mumbled. “So, I do not think you should think about the taste of smoke anymore. It was me, but you just tasted you.” He explained. “Let’s not talk about this anymore, love.” He spread his arms and asked Hyesung to come into them.

The shorter lad nodded, but somehow he felt unaccomplished.

Eric tardily strode past them and when he was behind his brother, he stopped and looked over his shoulder. He caught Hyesung looking at him, but as soon as he took another look, the main vocalist turned his gaze away and closed his eyes.

Eric watched him and Jung Hyuk and before he would lose his mind, he walked away.

                ***

Late at night Eric entered his apartment. He was exhausted; to everything. He had no strength whatsoever to even remove his shoes as he plodded towards the living room and collapsed onto his couch. He heard something coming from the kitchen. But being paranoid didn’t belong to his senses, not even after Shinhwa Broadcast’s hidden camera. He closed his eyes.

He heard something again.

“It’s just Gomdori.” He said, asserting to make him feel brave.

“No, brother.” Eric’s whole body tensed when he heard the voice. “It is not your precious dog.”

The twin brother sat up quickly and stared at his brother. “What are you doing in here?” he retorted, standing up.

Jung Hyuk laughed and advanced him, reaching his hands onto Eric’s collar. He straightened it and slid his hands down, drew them back and punched the stomach, the air rushing out of the mouth. Eric lost his balance and fell onto his knees. Jung Hyuk laughed again, and slapped his brother with the back of his hand. Eric damned that he was wearing rings.

“So you kissed my boyfriend.” Jung Hyuk mumbled, his voice so coarse and evil that Eric was petrified. “You…kissed…my…boyfriend.” He pushed the guy down by the head and kicked the stomach hard and mercilessly. “You…kissed…Hyesung!”

Eric gasped, the tears running down. Jung Hyuk grabbed the hair and lifted his brother up, enjoying the loud screams of agony.

“You have no idea how much I want to crack your neck.” Jung Hyuk threatened, landing both of the palms onto the neck. “You have no idea how much power I have to do it now…here…let you die. You don’t know…”

Eric bit his cheeks and tongue. He did so not to spill out anything that would harm his Hyesung.

“You love him.” Jung Hyuk stated. “But you won’t have him. I will make sure…that he says yes to my proposal. If not,” He pulled Eric’s hair and made him stand onto his feeble legs. “I will kill him.”

The evil twin pushed his knee against the diaphragm and cackled when the weak body of the noble and great leader of Shinhwa curled and the man was gasping and crying. Jung Hyuk squatted down and the face, pouting supposedly apologetically.

“Aww…poor brother.” He murmured. “So weak.”

The one last kick was enough to cause Eric to pass out.

                ***

Hyesung lied under his blanket and wondered. Stupid really, but his thoughts had run thousand miles ever since that weird conversation with Jung Hyuk outside the practice room. Actually, all the times that man wailed about his non-smoking habit, made something inside Hyesung feel different. He wasn’t feeling like Jung Hyuk’s smokeless life would affect him, not at all. He appreciated his choice. But…

Hyesung turned to his side and frowned, feeling the heart in his chest speeding up. He put his hand onto it and tapped slightly. What if. What if, as Jung Hyuk had suggested, he had kissed a totally different man? Hyesung sensed all the blood rushing towards his cheeks. What if…what if the one he had touched, had been…Eric? The little prince let out a gasp and shook his head, not believing himself.

“Ridiculous. That’s…that’s nonsense!!” he crooned against the pillow.

Jung Hyuk hadn’t lied when he had spoken that it was him Hyesung had kissed. And Hyesung wanted to believe that. There was no way it was Eric. No. Na-ah. It was Jung Hyuk; Mun Jung Hyuk. Hyesung wouldn’t touch anyone else but him. Never.

Still.

He was conflicted. His brain brought up several ‘what if’ – questions which all led to that leader full of charisma. Hyesung shook his head more fiercely now. He didn’t love Eric. He loved Jung Hyuk. He loved the twin. He loved the other version of the not so perfect Eric. He loved someone who looked like…him. Hyesung lifted the pillow onto his face and screamed.

What the hell was wrong with him?!

He couldn’t love Eric.

He wasn’t allowed to do so.

He shouldn’t.

He wouldn’t!

Hyesung threw the pillow away and lied on his back, staring at the ceiling. His breathing hadn’t regulated yet and there were still thuds against his chest. He just didn’t know to whom his heart beat at the moment.

He didn’t.

Hyesung turned his head and saw the shimmering diamond ring on the nightstand. All he wanted was to be happy. He was that. All he wanted was to prove Eric and others wrong and show that Jung Hyuk was a human being. He wanted to prove that he loved him.

A smile plastered upon his face as he took the ring, admired it and slipped it through his finger.

“I will, Jung Hyuk ah,” he whispered and closed his eyes.

I am so so so sorry.