Weeks have already passed that I've been on hiatus, EXO were still rehearsing for their new comeback. This was how the idol life would be. Rest, Rehearse, Play, Rehearse, and so on. But for SMEntertainment, It wasn't. You need to rehearse from 5pm to 10pm and if you're not yet done or if the mentors told you to stay, you have to. Because there is no word 'disagree' on them. Once you've disagreed, you just have wait for their tongues to shut your mouth and make you embarrassed. 

In this past weeks of pain on my body, I've realized that I shouldn't leave them on what they should have be. That I shouldn't leave the fans nor EXO behind because I don't want them to be disappointed neither. I shouldn't be selfish to think about myself and my own body. I should continue my dreams and not only because of Sehun, but because of the fans who kept on supporting me as well. Enduring this pain and hard times might be difficult for me to overcome, but as long as there is Luhan on stage, breathing, There will be life for my fans. As long as there are EXO-Ls out there, EXO should be as one and keep reaching the stars. We might be famous, but it doesn't matter because we will keep our heads bowed to the fans who still there for us.

I love the members. EXO-K and EXO-M were my family. I won't be shattered around just because of this weak health. I should keep going. 

For the fans,

For the members.

For Sehun.

Mom was worryin too much about my health. She kept on saying to take care of myself and if my body collapse, I should leave the fandom. But I told her I won't leave because of the fans. Right now they did a fan project. Tweeting Please be back Luhan is very touching. Though I didn't leave. But I think it's because I left for 3 weeks more that they've missed me. I wonder if he missed me as well. I remember going out on the coffee shop and I've listened to their song for the very first time because I don't like KPOP. But sometimes, I didn't manage to hide it, and so that was the start. The start of struggling to be a fanboy and the start of being an Idol. I'm glad Minseok hyung invited me to join this fandom because this was really amazing. You will see different types of people who have the same interest at you, be with them, be friends and even in Virtual world. I'm really happy when I joined the fandom. It was very awesome that everything matters even the single thing about my followers. I really hate it when someone unfollowed me on SNS during when I was a fanboy of this group. Because I don't want to lose friends. But when I became an Idol, I got many friends and that friends I treasured really loved me. I felt so good whenever I saw them, and whenever I see them yelling and cheering us. If fans are glad if they see their bias on stage, We're all glad as well because we came to meet and to have fun with all the fans. Even though sometimes, It's only in one night. I also wished there weren't tickets or the price made lower. Because I don't like other fans browsing on the internet and just streaming online. It made me feel down. They're paying because of our talents. Now that Iam an Idol there is no turning back. Even if Youngmin is getting into my nerves, I won't do that. We'll just stay as OT12 no matter what happens. If we got broken, everybody will be here for each other and OT12 will be forever. I don't want to see fans cry.

So I will be strong no matter what.

I want them to cry because of happiness. 

I went inside the airport for my flight and my mom was waving at me. Mom has been back in China after I joined and became an idol. She was reading fans comments on youtube and then she told me about the positive ones. That I have many fans in China. I knew it. Hometown is where I will be and I won't leave it.

The flight was fine. I was sitting in the middle of the plane because I will get dizzy if I sat in front and at the back. The fansite noonas kept on capturing me when I was sleeping so the flight attendant woke me up. 

After I got on the Incheon Airport, I straightly went into the mall to buy them some goods and foods that I think, they like. I've got allowance from my mom and my salary is enough to buy some pizzas and chicken especially for Jongin. I would like to taste Kyungsoo's food as well because I already miss it.

I drove past into the SMEnt building. I stopped and parked in the parking lot. I am really excited to go back in my work and to see them as well. I got a message from my doctor and the hospital told me that do not over use my energy because the symptoms is slowly fading and it means I'm back. I really want to see them. "HELLO KYUHYUN SUNBAENIM~" I greet and bowed to him. He bowed as well. "How's your vacation?"

"I'm already fine and strong. I've overcome my sickness and now, I'm already healthy." He laughed and so I went straightly to the practice room. I saw my mentors and they we're happy to see me as well as choreographer-nim who was working hard to manage and to clean our steps. "Luhan, are you really okay already? We've been finished the whole song."

"Wow. It's alright~ I have the fighting spirit. I can do it. By the way, Where are they?"

"To think of it, I think they're on the dorm right now."

"THANKS!"

I ran and halted into my dorm. I went nervous.

*click*

"HELLO GUYS! I'M BACK!" Their jaw fell and I saw others burst in tears. I saw Sehun rushed in front of me, hugged me tightly and crying like hell. He was saying something but I can't understand him because he was crying like a child. "I-I THOUGHT YOU ALREADY L-LEFT"

"Who the hell told you?!" 

He changed his face and smirk. I miss that smirk he did. I miss him. Sehun rushed his lips on mine and we exchange breath. "I miss your lips Luhan. You're mine again."

"You grew taller Sehunaa."

"Excuse me. Luhan why are you here?"  An SM staff rushed. "Go on, Mr. Youngmin won't be accepting you already. You've already been kicked out to this group. You now have already 2 choices.

Leave? or be a staff.