He just kissed..

Sehun.

The fans stopped screaming and the Concert venue went silent. The murmurs and the whispers went louder as the 3.6.5 song was playing. I've been hearing my breathe so loud as my legs became weaker and weaker. Sehun was astonished. Maybe not because he didn't want it, but because he liked it. Why? She's a pretty girl compared to me. I'm a guy neither. I can't be with him. 

EXO didn't take it too seriously. But the most thing I've been hurt of is that, he kissed the girl back. 

"Luhan?" Yifan called me. He was beside me. I felt my warm tears dripping down on face. I left the stage without any further. He didn't follow me neither. He was just on behalf on his singing the song. I know the members were shock about me leaving the stage on behalf of dancing in front of the girl. I just don't know what to do so I walked out.

I went straightly to the comfort room. My manager asked me to change my lenses because I told him it was all because of dirt. Yet, I disagree and I told him it was nothing because I was about to pee as well. I'm not doing it though. I just lied. 

I faced the mirror straightly. I know fans might be waiting me but I don't care. Am I ugly?

Oh really. I almost forgot. Luhan you're a guy. She's a girl. Of course they can be. Look at you. You're not pretty. I should consider myself as a sasaeng too. I desperately trained and became an artist just because I wanted to follow him and talk to him. Because the reality is

I.. I don't Idolize him.

I love him...

The fans screamed when I went on the stage from backstage. To be honest I think fans are my loyal boy and girlfriends who won't leave me. They might change their love, and find a new one, but still they're always here no matter what. Idols should realize how lucky they are. They already have a million of friends to rely on. 

I walked in the middle of the stage. They were singing peter pan and they were scattered around. I stared at the organizer of the show, and I think she managed to meet my gaze. I did a hand signal and I think she got it quickly. 

Peter pan paused.

"Hello, Sorry for interupting the show. I just wanted to say thank you for all Luhan fans who gathered here in the concert. I know you all went here with a smile on your face and got through the long waiting line with patience because you know after that 5hours of waiting, you would be meeting us." I know what I am saying. I just need to keep holding. "For International fans, I know you're streaming out there and for those who are providing streams right now even though it's prohibited, thank you. I know providing livestreams was hard. AND I know streaming online was hard as well. It's like watching your idols in front of the wide screen, kept telling to yourself that you won't be seeing them. And knowing that you're not breathing the same air with them. I'm lucky to be in Seoul because that was my first time fanboying over this group. I might not be as loyal as you guys. I might be only a year fanboying on this group, but I would say it doesn't matter. Because sometimes the true fans were at their home, in front of a screen, watching this stream even though they have school for tomorrow. Spending their time voting idols until their fingers already hurt, and spending their night spazzing and supporting the group. And sometimes, the one who is fake and just using fandom over popularity of themselves is might be on the V.I.P seats. Yoon Bomi noona, If your here in front of me, you're so lucky to meet your idols. Congratulations for winning the ticket. You have been picked because you are true to yourself. You're raising fandom's pride; telling the whole world how much you liked us. You didn't have the fear to tell that us straight that you don't have money and you really want to meet your bias. That you've only tweeting me because I am the one who kept on communicating with fans. Well that's okay. Because of that, you're watching us live.

To all the fans around the world, to the fans who are up there in the seats, and to all the fans who kept on supporting us,
I love you guys. Thanks for supporting EXO. Let's be together till the end."

Peter pan played once again, with it's last stanza. Fans slowly raised their lightsticks, while wiping their tears.

시계의 태엽 도는 사이, 얼마나 달라졌을까? 널 써내려간 마지막 한 장을 넘겼지만 더
읽어낼 용기가 않아, 슬픈 글은 지워낼 거야.우리 얘긴 끝이 아닐 거야. 다시 만나볼 테니까. [As the hands of the clock spun, how much would have changed? I turn to the final page in which you are written but I don’t have the courage to read on. I will erase the sad writing and it’s not going to be the end of our story
Because I’m going to meet you again.] ♪♪

"How many times I will say that stay away from Sehun?! You're ruining the whole thing! The stocks are going down. With you, you're group will be down on the rankings." Kim Youngmin pointed his index finger on my temples. I glared at him straightly. But he still wasn't done on his speech. "Hunhan OTP made our popularity down and the stocks decreased in just because of your OTP. I already told you to stop talking to Sehun and focus on your work. This is not a playground. This is not a romance fanfic. You're working for money Luhan. You're working for industry. If you can't understand it, then leave the group. We don't need immature idols here."

"So you mean we need to be serious? How about the fans? So you want the fans to be serious about saving their daily allowances for us? That even though they don't have money and they can't afford the albums, they're still saving to support us? Is that so? So we need to work hard? Don't you know that fans and Idols are connected to each other? The more we get serious, the more they will be scared. After all your schedules we're messed up. How can we do our job which is to interact fans if we kept on working to different things. We are not your robots here. We joined SM Entertainment to pursue our dreams and to make people happy. If continue to be serious, fans will be stressed and might left the fandom. Don't you know that? I'm expecting so many things on you. I'm expecting we can learn a lot from you. Just because your Kim Youngmin. The CEO of the Kpop's popular entertainment. But I think I was wrong." It was Hyoyeon. A member of the popular girl group called SNSD. I haven't talked to her maybe because both of us were too busy with promotions but thanks to her. "You didn't know me Mr. Luhan."

Soon I know they will realize me. Soon I know they will understand. That I only joined because of Sehun. Not because of improving my talent and sharing my knowledge about training but because of Sehun. Through him and with God, I am here performing with EXO members. 

But I think, I'm not belong here.

All of them joined because they want to reach their dreams. They joined because they want to share something new about the fans.
Lately I've realized I'm so selfish that I only think about Sehun. About him ONLY. 

Yes, Hunhan is real. I love Sehun.

I will post only on this SNS where members can't follow me. I'll make this account private for a while and will be back if I want to do so.

I have a bad feeling about on what our CEO said earlier. He said I didn't know him and so I shut my mouth. Thanks for Hyoyeon noona for  'saving' me from Kim Youngmin.

I might not know what other moves will Youngmin will attack on me, but I should be prepared.

A/N: I'm sorry because I took 2[?] weeks before I update. I got WB (Writer's block) where I don't know what to type. ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ please continue to support my story! Comment below if you want to share some ideas with mine and Subscribe. :D Please Vote as well if you have some points x) 감사합니다 여러분~      짱!