Sehun admitted he didn’t think this through.

Everything that happened after running into Ji-eun quickened into a blur. Shock had blanketed his mind, leaving only natural instinct to direct his next actions. The next thing he knew, he was in the passenger’s seat gripping onto a duffel bag full of his essentials with Jongin driving him to the airport.

All the other times Sehun had been nervous - speaking in front of a dozen cameras, being scolded by his usually calm father - didn’t compare to those terribly long fifteen minutes stuck in that car. He felt like he was seconds away from imploding, fingers drumming on any available surface impatiently. Sehun knew he had screwed up a lot in his life, but if he was even a second late this time, he didn’t think he could ever forgive himself.

When Jongin screeched to a stop, Sehun hopped out the car only to stop and stare up at the night sky. There, illuminated by the moonlight, was an airplane shooting across the sky.

For a second, Sehun felt a spark of fear at the fact that Luhan might have left already.

But it couldn’t be. According to the airport’s website, the flight wasn’t leaving until another thirty minutes. Flights were always delayed, but never pushed forward.

So, Sehun pretended briefly that the airplane was a shooting star and wished that there would be a hailing storm, a hurricane, anything, so all flights were cancelled. Even if it was cancelled for only this day, he still could have the time to say everything he didn’t have the chance to, go on that Seoul tour they never went on, give them both the closure they never had.

Shaking his head, Sehun broke himself out of the trance. Time was slipping past too quickly for him to be standing there and making childish wishes.

Once he was in the airport, Sehun realized just how little he had planned. Feeling lost, Sehun apologized to all the Luhan-resembling strangers he had stopped in his frenzy to find his runaway (ex-) boyfriend. He ignored the slight possibility that the strangers he had stopped might have recognized him despite his sunglasses and baseball hat.

Sehun scoffed, thinking back to the downtown date, where he had to shield himself from anyone who had crossed paths with him. He had been more worried about other people recognizing him than spending time with Luhan.

That wasn’t what was important. Not anymore.

Sehun glanced up at the huge board listing all the flights. Thankfully, there was still a little room in his panicking mind to think logically, and he zoomed in on the only flight heading to Beppu in the next hour. How fortunate. What was even more fortunate was that the flight wasn’t full, so after impulsively purchasing a ticket from the airplane company’s check-in desk, all he had to do was hurry through security screening.

Sehun knew what he was doing was pure insanity. Leaving his country on a whim just because Luhan had decided to study abroad without even notifying Sehun was probably one of the stupidest decisions he had ever made.

But when he finally spotted Luhan’s mop of black hair by gate A4, Sehun couldn’t picture himself doing anything but this, right now. All the consequences, the fallout, the media blowing up about his disappearance, all that just vanished from his mind the second he saw the slightest glimpse of Luhan before the latter boarded the plane, because at last, Sehun could feel something inside of him click into place. He could finally breathe.

“You’re really lucky,” said the worker who scanned his ticket right before he boarded the plane. “You barely made it on time.”

Sehun merely smiled. It was true. It did feel like the universe was on his side in this moment, like it was a sign that maybe, maybe he was finally doing something right.

¤¤¤

After the seatbelt light flicked off, Luhan quickly unbuckled himself. Thankful for being in the aisle seat, Luhan quickly made his way to the back where the restrooms were.

Luhan in a breath of artificial-tasting air. Somehow, he had never felt freer than being stuck in a plane full of a little less than two hundred other people. But with that freedom, there was an underlying sense of nausea and nervousness, too. This was the first time he’d be living on his own, and in a whole other country to boot.

Locking himself in the small restroom, Luhan stared at his distorted reflection under the dim, gaunt lighting. This is where I want to be. Right? Then why do I feel like I left something behind?

Luhan splashed some water on his face to wake himself up. The flight was only two hours, so it wasn’t like he’d get a lot of sleep, nor was an economy-class airplane seat the ideal napping spot.

Sliding open the door, Luhan had on his eyes on the ground so he only saw a pair of expensive-looking leather boots. He expected the boots to back up when Luhan took a step forward, but they didn’t budge, letting Luhan face-plant into a broad chest.

“Sorry,” Luhan mumbled, even though it wasn’t his fault. When he side-stepped, the boots did the same.

A little annoyed, Luhan finally glanced up. And nearly let out a shriek.

There, standing right before him, was an unexpected, completely exhausted Sehun pinning him down with a piercing, determined stare.

I must be hallucinating, Luhan thought to himself and rubbed his eyes. He was tempted to splash water on his face again. There’s no way Sehun would actually be here.

But then Sehun was stepping into the washroom, pushing Luhan back until the space was completely filled with him and Sehun, somehow managing to fit two adult men. Granted, Luhan was almost pressed right up against Sehun’s chest, and they were so close Luhan could feel Sehun’s breath hitting his face with every exhale. Locking the door behind him, Sehun turned to face Luhan once more. His eyes were focused solely on Luhan, drinking him in.

“What are you doing here?” Luhan asked bewilderedly. He couldn’t even be furious anymore, or hurt. A lot had happened in the past four hours, the past four weeks, and Luhan couldn’t find the energy in him to remember what they were fighting over before it turned into a contest of who could hurt the other more.

Sehun lowered his head, closing the distance between them. The proximity wasn’t making anything easier. “I… don’t know. I just needed to see you.” Hurt slipped into his voice. “How could you not tell me that you were leaving? How did we get to this point where I don’t even know which country you’re in anymore when we used to know what the other was doing every hour of the day?”

Luhan glanced away, trying to distance himself as far away as possible without having to sit down on the toilet seat. He said, with an unmistakable catch in his voice, “You know exactly how.” Luhan sighed, risking a glance back up at Sehun’s almost pleading eyes. “You really lost your mind. How could you follow me onto the plane to Japan? What about all your responsibilities?”

“They don’t matter. They aren’t what’s important,” Sehun responded quickly, resolutely. So sure, so confident that this was the right choice. Luhan envied him for that; doubtless decisions were a hard thing to attain.

Luhan felt hands pressed against his cheeks, gently turning his head so he’d finally look Sehun in the eyes. And Luhan knew, he knew he shouldn’t be making this so easy. But Sehun had chased him onto a ing plane, for God’s sake, and they were both clearly tired of treating each other and themselves like .

“I’m sorry,” Sehun said softly, still cradling Luhan’s face in his hands. “I, I had this whole speech I went over in my head while I was running to you, but I can’t remember it now - now that you’re actually here in front of me. I don’t know what else to say but sorry.”

“Sehun.” Luhan brought his hands up to hold onto Sehun’s wrists. He smiled despite the prickling at his eyelids. “It’s okay. It’s my fault. I started this whole thing. I left so you didn’t have to deal with me in your life anymore. We’ve already hurt each other enough, said our apologies, and we should have went our own separate ways. I may have at one point, but now, I’m not doing any good to you.” Blinking furiously, already feeling the tears pooling, Luhan gulped, trying to swallow down the emotion. “I should have never gone to the engagement party, should have never kissed you the first time, should have never put on that wig in the first place.”

Sehun was trembling slightly at this point, and Luhan wanted to wrap him in the tightest hug and never let go. He let his hands drop, taking Luhan’s down with him. Sehun asked in a tiny, shaking voice, “Do you regret it?”

“I regret a lot of things I did as this mistake ran its course,” Luhan said firmly. He in a breath, gathering the courage to take the next step.

“But, Sehun, how could I ever regret you?”

Sehun stared at him, first out of disbelief that quickly morphed into shock, and finally, softening into that look of pure adoration, of forgiveness, of a million kind and brilliant qualities that had made Sehun the shining, bright person he was right now. Luhan found himself regretting many more things now, like not having confessed to Sehun earlier so they wouldn’t have taken the longer, painful route, so he could have arrived here much, much earlier. It saddened him how much time they had wasted.

But Sehun didn’t agree with him. “I don’t regret anything. If you hadn’t come to the Castle, we might never have met. Through all the choices we made, idiotic and brave alike, we somehow had managed to stumble our way to each other.” He grinned and rested his forehead against Luhan’s, pressing even closer. “Because everything we did made us the people we are today. And I, Oh Sehun, am positively in love with the Luhan of right now.”

It was too easy, way too easy, to abolish the mere centimetres separating them and grab the other into a much-awaited kiss. Their lips molded against each other, as they did countless times before, and this time, it tasted of hope. Pure, painful hope in its full glory. They took their sweet time, hands gently holding the other like they couldn’t believe something like this had taken so goddamn long to reach, and if they moved too fast, too brashly, it’d disappear in a wisp of air.

It was less of a kiss, and more of a promise of the many more to come.

¤¤¤

Even though Luhan had never travelled before in his entire life - he hadn’t even seen an airport in real life - navigating through customs and grabbing his luggage was an easy feat. He just had to follow the crowd. Hailing a cab to drop him off at his dorm wasn’t difficult either, and required limited Japanese.

It was a little pathetic, but the hardest part about all of this was trying to hold onto every bit of his sanity not to drape himself over Sehun.

To Luhan’s credit, Sehun looked way too good with his locks falling into his face, like he had run a hand through it last-minute to get rid of the previous clean-cut style. It made Luhan want to mess his hair up even more.

And it certainly didn’t help that Sehun kept touching him at every given opportunity. Nothing too obvious, just brushing against his arm or pressing up against his back when they were in a crowd or tugging Luhan back gently by the wrist or the hem of his shirt every time he wandered too far. Every touch burned Luhan to the core.

By the time they reached his dorm, Luhan realized he was a little too high and giddy that he forgot about the fact that Sehun had just upped and left his country without so much as telling a soul (besides Jongin).

A little worried furrow appeared between Luhan’s eyebrows when he opened the door. His roommate wouldn’t be arriving for around two more weeks, but there was no way his roommate would be fine with the Prince of Korea living with them.

Lost in his thoughts, Luhan didn’t notice Sehun quickly locking the door behind them and setting their luggage on the ground before sneaking up from behind Luhan.

Arms circled around Luhan’s waist, pulling him back against a sturdy chest, inciting a loud yelp from the older. Sehun murmured in his ear, “What are you thinking about?”

“You’re so touchy!” The crease between Luhan’s eyebrows disappeared as he laughed, “What am I going to do with you?”

“We’ll figure it out.” Sehun buried his nose further into Luhan’s neck, voice tickling the older’s skin with every word. He said comfortingly, as if he heard Luhan’s unspoken answer. “Together.”

¤¤¤

It felt like a dream that was stretching on for more than just a night, more than the next handful of days spent together.

Sehun fit into Luhan’s life so easily. There was another toothbrush, another mug, another pillow - when Sehun wasn’t using Luhan’s arm as one - like Sehun was meant to be there. Grocery shopping, waking up to seeing Sehun’s face first thing in the morning, taking walks and eventually getting lost in Japan’s streets. Even lazy evenings spent watching crappy late-night television were complete with trailing, feather-light grazes and drowsy murmurs.

It was easy to forget, being in a whole other country. They were separated from all that tied them to the lives they lived and people they were just days ago. Luhan forgot that Sehun was a prince, and that by the time his roommate would arrive and the school term would start, both of them would have to start finding ways to push their lives forward. There were jobs to find, classes to attend, explanations to come up with.

It’s not that either of them didn’t know their days were numbered. They both dutifully neglected the huge issue at hand, because how long had both of them been waiting for this chance? If only for a moment longer, a couple days more, they’d take advantage of this precious time to finally be happy beside each other.

But even if it was easy to forget, one day, they’d have to remember. They can’t dream forever.

¤¤¤

It was the mundane moments that hid the timer counting down their days.

Sehun and Luhan never really got to meet or date the conventional way, so their normality in the dorm was definitely welcomed.

One thing out of the ordinary, though, was Sehun attempting to cook. For the entirety of Sehun’s stay, they ate either Luhan’s cooking or take-out. But, tonight, Sehun was determined to learn how to make a simple dish. It was a little embarrassing, being twenty years old, and not being able to cook anything besides ramen or fried and scrambled eggs.

After hearing the click of the front door close, Sehun knew Luhan was home.

“How was your day?” Sehun called out from the kitchen, head craning back to catch a glimpse of his boyfriend. He could see Luhan taking off his jacket and slinging it on the couch. Seeing Luhan’s slumped figure, Sehun bit his tongue to keep from scolding the elder to hang up his jacket.

Luhan was out job-hunting before his school term started. Even if his family had enough wealth, Luhan didn’t feel comfortable relying on money he didn’t earn himself; he was too used to providing for himself. Judging from Luhan’s lack of response, Sehun could tell his search wasn’t successful. It was rare, but there were moments when Luhan felt down, too, and Sehun wasn’t always sure how to make him feel better.

“Hey, Lu?” Sehun lifted a spoonful of the fried rice from the pan. “Can you come and taste this to see if it’s alright?”

Wordlessly, Luhan trudged into the kitchen. Sehun held up the spoon, dropping his mouth open. “Say ‘ahhh.’” When Luhan rolled his eyes, Sehun upped his antics and started dipping the spoon down and up. “Here comes the airplane!”

“Oh my god,” Luhan grumbled. “What are you, twelve?”

Sehun laughed, “Yeah, out of ten.”

At that, Luhan let out a snort. He grabbed onto Sehun’s wrist to steady the spoon and bit down. After swallowing, Luhan waited a few moments just to relish the agitation and impatience clear on the younger’s face. Finally, he said monotonously, “It’s so bland.”

Dropping his smile, Sehun lowered his head to peer at Luhan closely. Usually, Luhan would have cheered up already at this point of Sehun’s lame jokes, but judging from Luhan’s closed off expression, Sehun knew from experience that Luhan wouldn’t want to talk about it right now.

“I won’t ask what’s wrong,” Sehun said softly, reaching out for Luhan first. The elder hesitated, before taking a step forward and crumpling into Sehun’s arms. He rested his forehead onto Sehun’s shoulder, hands clutching on the hem of the younger’s shirt.

“I’ll tell you tonight, but let’s just stay like this for now. You smell nice,” Luhan’s voice was muffled in Sehun’s shirt. “And it was pretty good for your first try. Try adding soy sauce next time.”

Softening, Sehun smiled, knowing Luhan didn’t expect him to reply. With one hand, he patted Luhan’s head comfortingly and the other he rubbed soothing circles into the elder’s back. When Sehun was feeling down, Luhan would use the same calming method on him, and it worked wonders. So they stood in the middle of the kitchen, silently breathing each other in.

Even if there were no glowing flowers or sharply fitted suits, there was still a magic of their own in their regularity.

¤¤ ¤

It was an ordinary day when Luhan woke up.

He was eating cereal while sitting on the floor in front of the television, which was currently on the news channel, and simultaneously scrolling through the texts Baekhyun sent him on his phone. He could hear Sehun singing off-tune (cutely, in Luhan’s opinion) from their bathroom as he showered. Just a regular start to his morning.

Luhan heard the bathroom door opening. “Luhan?”

“Towels are in the bottom right hand drawer!” Luhan called back, with an exasperated sigh. He had specifically reminded Sehun that he washed their towels yesterday night, but of course, the younger forgot.

The bathroom door closed with a quick, “Thanks!” and Luhan turned back just in time to hear what the anchorwoman was broadcasting.

“...was what Queen Krystal said. According to her updates, the young Prince-”

“Lu, the towels aren’t there!”

“Keep looking!” Luhan shouted back quickly as his eyes stayed glued to the screen. He didn’t understand what was happening due to his limited Japanese, until they cut to an interview with Queen Krystal.

The Queen looked as calm and peaceful as ever, as she said, “While Crown Prince Chanyeol is preparing for his wedding, Prince Sehun is enjoying his trip to London. After declaring his engagement to Ms. Luna, he decided to take a well-deserved break-”

“Lu, I found the-”

“Sehun, for god’s sake-” Luhan groaned, finally dragging his attention away from the television, only to get an eyeful of Sehun with nothing on except for that towel he took so long to find. Even if Luhan would normally like to see that much skin, this was not the time. “Okay, I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything.”

“Fine,” Sehun grumbled back, trudging into his room.

Shaking his head, Luhan turned back to the television right when the anchorwoman switched to another topic about a robbery downtown. But Luhan remembered what he heard. Apparently, Sehun was halfway across the world in London.

“So what are you up to?” Sehun asked, plopping down next to Luhan on the floor. An arm s its way around Luhan’s shoulders, as comfortably as always, and Luhan breathed in the scent of their soap drifting from Sehun. His hair was wet and dripping water onto Luhan’s shoulder, but he didn’t mind. He had more pressing issues at hand.

Setting his cereal bowl down, Luhan faced Sehun. “Why is your mother covering for you?”

“What?” Sehun blinked, glancing between Luhan and the television. Seeing that it was on the news channel, understanding dawned. “It’s not a big deal. I told Mom I needed a couple days off, and only her  and Jongin know where I actually am.”

“How long are a couple days?”

Sehun frowned, getting a sense that something was wrong. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Luhan lowered his brows in frustration, “you can’t stay here forever. What am I going to tell my roommate? Nice to meet you, oh, and by the way, the Prince of Korea’s rooming with us from now on.”

“Are you kicking me out?” asked Sehun, eyes narrowed in disbelief.

“No, that’s not - of course not,” sighed Luhan. He ran a hand through his hair, thinking it was way too early in the morning to be tackling this issue. Both of them knew it was coming. But now that they were actually going through it, Luhan didn’t know what to say to make things better. “I can’t ask you to stay here.”

“So you’re kicking me out,” Sehun repeated flatly. Setting his jaw, Sehun’s expression shut down in that way whenever he was trying to mask his hurt when they were arguing. Taking Luhan’s empty bowl, he stiffly stood up. “I’ll put this in the sink.”

“Sehun, Sehun wait-” Luhan got up with him, following him into the kitchen. He watched as Sehun kept his back to him and filled the bowl with water. “It’s not like we have any other choice. We can’t just run away from everything and live here in Japan for the rest of our lives! You need to go back.”

“Without you?” Sehun asked over his shoulder. He scrubbed Luhan’s bowl, then wiped it clean and set it off to the side. Luhan always found it irritating as hell whenever Sehun did things for him like making his bed or cleaning their room while they were arguing. It was like he was making a point. Even if we’re not talking right now, I’m still in this with you. Like all this would make up for his past behaviour.

“We’re barely in our twenties, Sehun. I don’t even have a proper job yet. We can’t rush into this relationship headfirst. We’ll regret it after.” Luhan frowned at Sehun’s back. “We won’t be happy living like this.”

“Are you saying you won’t be happy with me?”

Luhan looked away. “I - I don’t know. Anything can happen.”

“I’ll pack my things,” Sehun bit out the words and quickly brushed past Luhan into their room. Swallowing hard, Luhan pressed the heel of his palm against his eyes, trying to erase the image of Sehun’s disappointed, betrayed expression.

What played before his eyes was a memory from a few nights earlier.

¤¤¤

In retrospect, it might have been the emptied bottles of soju littering Luhan’s dorm room floor, or the low humming of The Beatles from the tiny television in front of them, but something prompted Sehun to uncurl himself from Luhan and pull the elder up.

“What are you doing?” Luhan asked, a little disappointed at the lack of Sehun’s body warmth but mainly amused.

“Got hit by a little inspiration,” Sehun grinned and pulled Luhan closer with a tug, one hand settling on the small of Luhan’s back and the other intertwining their fingers together. “Let’s relive the past. The one moment I think I really fell in love with you. Or, at least, accepted it.”

As Sehun started swaying side to side, Luhan’s face scrunched up into a cringe. “Are you seriously talking about ballroom dancing?”

“No, you idiot,” laughed Sehun with a red face from the dim lighting and alcohol. He stumbled slightly, and tugged on Luhan’s hand. “C’mon, dance with me.”

Rolling his eyes, Luhan agreed and stiffly followed along. Like he could ever say no to Sehun. But it had been a while since the lessons, and Luhan naturally forgot the steps. So Sehun led him along with his familiar murmurs of “one, two, three, one, two, one, two, three,” under his breath, and the movements all came back to him as they continued.

Suddenly, it struck Luhan. His mouth fell open. “Ah! The maze!” His eyebrows rose in confusion. “You fell for me in the maze?”

“I liked you since the beginning, if I didn’t make it obvious enough-”

“You flirted with literally all the girls,” Luhan cut in.

“Hey, that was because I only agreed to this stupid marriage thing because of my mom, and I decided to make the most out of it. That’s why I was rather… flirtatious.” Sehun winced when Luhan accidentally stepped on his foot. Pulling Luhan back into position, he quickly added, “But my eyes always found its way to you whenever you were in the room, and my mind did the same thing, too, when you weren’t.” Sehun slowly rested his chin on Luhan’s shoulder, pressing so close he could feel Luhan’s heartbeat through their thin layers of clothes. “But in the maze, I finally felt the connection. You let your guard down and smiled so brightly that I couldn’t think of anything else I’d be doing but loving you. I think that could have been one of our happiest moments.”

Luhan hummed in return, basking in the warmth of alcohol simmering in his stomach and the feeling of Sehun’s skin on his. He found that a drunk Prince meant a loose-lipped, brutally honest Prince.

“Hey, Luhan?” Sehun murmured, voice dropped low.

“Mhm?”

“When were you the happiest?”

Luhan felt Sehun’s hold tighten on him, squeezing him gently. He smiled, “Right now.”

And it was the truth. Luhan couldn’t feel more at peace than in his cramped dorm with Sehun’s arms wrapped around him, swaying together. They must have looked foolish, drunken, clumsy limbs attempting classy ballroom dancing - it looked like they were more draped over each other than dancing - but Luhan couldn’t find an inch of him that cared. How could this ever be wrong, if they were so happy?

“I think I would have always found you, you know,” Sehun whispered after a long pause. He lifted his head from Luhan’s shoulder so their eyes were locked. “Whether you were a girl or a boy, I still would have found you. In our next lifetimes, if you were a prince, instead, or if you were an idol or a soccer player or a chef, I will find you and I will fall in love with you every single time.”

Luhan laughed, leaning forward and pecking Sehun’s lips. “How can you be so sure?”

“Because it’s too tragic to imagine a universe where I lose you,” Sehun whispered against Luhan’s smiling lips. His words dragged out a low chuckle from the elder, interrupted by light kisses that resembled laughs more than actual kisses.

¤¤¤

After drying his hair with a towel and tossing it onto a nearby chair - Sehun would have yelled at him in the morning to hang up the towel if they weren’t fighting - Luhan climbed into bed, pulling the blanket up to his chin. It was quietly dark, save for the occasional flash of light peeking out through the closed curtains from a car driving by outside. But Luhan didn’t have to see to know Sehun had his back to him.

Shifting onto his side so that Luhan was staring Sehun’s locks, he reached out to play with the hair. It had been a while since Sehun got a haircut, and his hair was now falling past his nape.

“What are you scared of?”

Luhan’s voice broke through the calm. Sehun stiffened under his touch, but didn’t make to move away.

After a few bated breaths, Sehun shifted onto his back, eyes peering at the ceiling. He said softly, “That you’re going to run away again. That I’ll lose you in the span of however long it’ll take you to come back.”

“I’m not going to run-”

“Says the guy who booked a flight to Japan without telling anyone.” It would have come out as a bark if Sehun didn’t keep his voice hushed. For some reason, they both felt the need to keep quiet in the darkness. It did nothing to diminish the tension.

Luhan’s voice was barely there when he reached for it. “Says the guy with a fiancée.”

“Why are we doing this, Luhan?” He can make out the shape of Sehun’s head turning to look at him. He can imagine the devastated, tired look on Sehun’s face. He can imagine that same look on Sehun’s face as more years pass by if they both stay here in Japan. “Why are we fighting?”

Why were they fighting? They finally jumped past all their obstacles and here they were, in honeymoon phase, but Luhan was messing everything up. They were supposed to be happy together, right?

“Because,” Luhan spat out. “Because I want to!”

“Lu-”

“We need to talk about this. We need to put everything on the table, everything filthy and good. I don’t want to chain you here, just waiting for me to finish up my year here in Japan. What are you going to do once I start the school term? Are you going to wait here everyday until I come home?”

“I, I’ll find something,” Sehun insisted. “I’ll get a job.”

“You’ll hate it. You’ll hate what your life became. You, scanning items in a grocery store, or serving rude customers in a restaurant, that isn’t meant for you. And you’ll hate me.”

“Luhan,” Sehun shifted closer, voice coloured shocked and hurt. “I’ll never hate you.”

“You will. I can see it.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“We already booked your ticket,” Luhan said.

“I’ll cancel it.”

“Don't be stupid.”

Luhan could hear Sehun clench his teeth. “Are we breaking up?”

“No.” Luhan remembered bumping into Sehun’s suitcase when walking into the bedroom. “Maybe. I don't know.”

“What do you want me to do?”

The answer wasn't difficult to guess. It was, however, very difficult to actually say.

“I’ll miss you,” Luhan said before wrapping his arms around Sehun. And Sehun let him.

¤¤¤

So that was how Luhan got his boyfriend to fly back to Korea, knowing that they might not see each other again. By practically begging him to leave.

Sehun left a day after their midnight conversation. Luhan saw him off. This time, it was Luhan who wished for a typhoon to hit to prevent the airplane from flying. Anything that could take this decision out of his hands.

Sehun pressed a quick kiss to Luhan’s forehead. Then he was gone.

¤¤¤

The second Luhan got home, he locked the door behind him, slumped down onto the couch, and curled up, bringing his knees to his stomach. His whole body was numb, save for a muted hurt in his heart that he had grown used to.

He stayed there like that for a while, and he probably would have continued if not for his phone ringing. Sighing, Luhan pulled it out of his jeans pocket. He diminished the stupid hope of it being Sehun - it was Baekhyun calling.

Luhan pressed the cool phone against his ear and stared up at the white ceiling. He made a mental note to buy glow-in-the-dark stars and glue them up there, to help with the homesickness.

“How are you holding up, Lu?”

“Better than I expected,” Luhan admitted. He honestly wondered if he was going to start crying when Sehun left, but it just felt like there was nothing inside of him, not even tears left. “It felt like something clicked into place after the move. Like I’m finally on the right path. I still miss you guys, though.”

He heard a sigh from the other line and some rustling, probably Baekhyun sitting up in bed out of agitation. “That’s not what I’m talking about, and you know it.”

Luhan got up and walked over to the balcony. He slid open the door, biding himself more time until he responded. He breathed in the unfamiliar air he was still getting accustomed to but already loved. The street was quiet, and he could barely make out the telephone wires dividing the gentle night sky into little rectangles.

“I just don’t know what’s going to happen,” Luhan said after gathering his words. His voice sounded more controlled, but the choked-up feeling in his throat is still there. “It’s not like he could stay here forever, you know? Eventually, he had to go back and - and I don’t know, we’re both so young. And I don’t know if I can wait for him like this. I don’t know if I can watch him get married.”

“Are you thinking of ending it?”

It took a long time before Luhan responded, “I… I’m not sure.”

That was a lie; of course Luhan thought of ending it. But he knew he wouldn’t have the guts to do it. Not having Sehun in his life, and reducing himself to an outsider, to a mere citizen who’d watch Sehun grow up, marry, bear children, and live his entire life through the news were not things Luhan could choose on his own. It’d have to be Sehun who left first.

“The guy chased you to Japan,” Baekhyun said,“This doesn’t excuse his past behaviour at all, but it’s clear he loves you. I’m not sure he can live without you.”

Dangling his arms over the balcony railing, Luhan snorted. “Don’t be silly. Of course he can.”

“Well, I’m just saying Sehun’s serious about you, okay? If that’s not already obvious enough. I…” Baekhyun sighed, sounding slightly embarrassed. “I’m actually jealous of you two. I mean, of course I’m rooting for you two because I want you to be happy and you’re obviously happy with him. Even if you two went through some crap because you two are idiots. So I want to see you two work out, because - well, frankly, because Chanyeol and I didn’t.”

Luhan softened, immediately saying, “Baek, you don’t have to.”

“I know. I just think you need to hear this,” Baekhyun said lightly, “Chanyeol loved me, but not to the extent that Sehun loves you.”

“That’s not fair, Baek. Chanyeol’s position has more pressure,” Luhan insisted. He didn’t want Baekhyun thinking he had been given less love than he deserved.

“They’re still both princes.” There were rustles again, probably Baekhyun shrugging. “Sehun will receive a lot of repercussion, too. Yet he still chose to follow you. You see the difference? It’s how much you mean to him. I know you won’t, but if you wanted him to, Sehun would drop everything to be with you. He’d do anything and everything to keep you by his side.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that he’s engaged and everyone will flip out if we decided to go through with this. This is more than just us,” Luhan said firmly. He didn’t want to show how much he wanted to believe what Baekhyun was saying was true. That was just foolish hope, in the end.

“Nobody will know if you two will last. But I think you should really give this a shot. He’s worth it, Lu, he’s worth a chance.”

Hesitating, Luhan tapped a few fingers against the balcony. The last time he had backed away when given a similar choice to give Sehun a chance, Luhan had ended up wallowing in misery for a good month and made the two of them go through unnecessary pain. Inhaling shakily, Luhan asked, “You think so?”

“Does it matter what I think?” Baekhyun clucked his tongue, sighing. “All that matters is that you believe in yourself and Sehun. You’ll need each other more than ever if you really choose this path.”

The prediction of what was to come in the future made Luhan’s head drop. Little by little, the upcoming battle was inching along by the day. And Luhan had to be ready when it hits, because maybe, being by Sehun’s side for the rest of his life would be worth it.

“I’ll take this one step at a time, First, before I even begin to actually consider this, I have to focus on myself,” said Luhan. It was true. He had just come back from two weeks spent with Sehun; he ought to have some alone time.

“Alright, take your time,” Baekhyun laughed. “You know he’ll wait for however long it’ll take.”