It had been a while since Luhan went back to Hole in the Wall. He wished he could say it was because he didn’t want to remember all the bitter-sweet memories with Sehun, but it was actually because he had no clue how to get to the café. It wasn’t one of those things that nagged at the back of his mind, though. Luhan doubted he would have gone back on his own, even if they did serve good bubble tea.

So he had to stumble his way through the streets relying only on his phone. He got there eventually, albeit at least ten minutes late, and it was like a walk down memory lane as he recalled the walk by the Han River and snippets of their conversation. It was so easy back then, and Luhan missed it terribly. Even if he really shouldn’t.

Luhan had a million thoughts flying through his head by the time he reached the café, and more than half of them were escape routes and danger signs. He tried his hardest to ignore them, forging on until he pushed open the door and entered the casual atmosphere.

He spotted the Prince in a second. There weren’t many people, which Luhan remembered was why Sehun liked Hole in the Wall so much, and the decor was simple enough that his eyes skimmed over them without a second thought. It also wasn’t hard to miss Sehun’s dominating, confident aura in the way he held himself, even if he had dressed down to blend in. He was a prince through and through, after all.

Luhan in a breath and pushed back his shoulders. He can do this.

When he actually reached Sehun’s side, he had no idea what to say. Hey? How’ve you been? The usual conversation-starters were too casual. And besides, he knew the Prince hadn’t exactly had the time of his life for the past week or so.

In the time that he spent debating over a simple introduction, Sehun barely shot him a glance before saying, “Sit down. I ordered for you.”

“I - ah, thanks,” Luhan replied oh-so-gracefully and took his seat. His tongue felt large and clumsy and he took a sip of what he thought was taro bubble tea to give his hands something to do. Already, Luhan’s bravado was failing.

“So what did you want to speak to me about?”

Sehun sounded so tired and done with their conversation that hadn’t even started yet. Luhan steeled himself and tried to face Sehun. It hurt. The lackluster glazed eyes that stared with caution and betrayal, the hardened, controlled expression, the dark bags under his eyes. This was all because of Luhan, and yet Sehun had agreed so quickly to meet up with him here. Why?

Luhan wasn’t sure he would do the same if Sehun switched roles with him.

Clearing his throat, Luhan set down his cup and made sure Sehun was listening before he started, “I wanted to say I’m really sorry. About everything. About all my lies and everything I’ve done to you.”

Sehun raised his eyebrows with an unimpressed stare.

“I know this will be hard for you to hear, but you still came, so I took it as a sign that you’re ready to listen. I hadn’t exactly been the most honest when I… I showed you who I really was. But I’m here to tell you the real truth.”

Sehun asked softly, “And how do I know it’s the truth this time around?”

“I can’t make you believe me. But I’ll still try.”

He waited until Sehun looked up from his hands in his lap and said a simple, “Okay.”

“Right, okay.” Suddenly, Luhan felt a new batch of nervousness. He wanted to put every ounce of sincerity and emotion into what he was saying, but he had never been great with words and expressing himself. He took another sip to wet his dry lips. “Okay, at first, I agreed to this crazy plan because my sister was already engaged to Yixing, which I mentioned before, and I assumed that I would have been eliminated soon. But when I got here, I realized I was far in over my head. Because of you.”

Sehun glanced up at that. Luhan hesitated before continuing, “You, this prince, who looked as if you were carved out by angels. And you, for some unfathomable reason, liked me. You were so easy to fall in love with, and I just got caught up in this tangled dream that I never wanted to wake up from. I tried telling myself that I wasn’t lying and that no one was asking the right questions so I didn’t have to answer and that it would all be over soon. But it was. It was deception. And I’m sorry. I was scared. I knew you - you were going to leave me. I thought it would have been better if I kept this up until I got sent home, but every time you kept me from leaving.”

“You thought I would have married another woman and let you go?” Sehun finally spoke up and the first flicker of emotion, though angry and harsh, crossed his face. “Did you not believe me or trust me at all? All this time, what was I to you?”

Luhan simply replied, “You’re a prince to me. And I’m a country boy. You think we’d have a happy ending?”

Sehun scoffed at that, running his hands through his hair to mess it up even further.

“I was selfish, I know. I wanted to spend as much time as I can with you.” Luhan’s voice started choking up and he shoved his trembling hands into his pockets to hide them. “I believed you, but I didn’t believe myself. If you found out, it’d make it that much easier to leave me behind. And I was the most wrong in that part, because I did all that so I would be the one who left first.”

Sehun shook his head. “Why are you telling me all this?”

“Because you deserve at least this much. You deserve the truth and the closure. And… I want you to see me as I am. The Ji-eun you knew from before, that was a part of me as well. But only a fraction. I can’t do anything if you hate me now and I don’t expect you to forgive me. I just wanted to say I’m sorry. And-”  Luhan bit his lip, “-I did love you. I know I’m horrible in expressing it, but I did.”

The two of them sat in silence after Luhan finished. Sehun was unreadable. Luhan had no idea what the Prince was thinking.

“You’re still selfish, you know.”

“Excuse me?” Luhan blinked. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that.

“The closure that comes from you telling me. This isn’t for me, it’s for you.” Sehun met his eyes with a piercing glare. Luhan barely stopped himself from flinching. “You want to get that all off your chest and relieve yourself from the guilt so you could say, ‘Oh, I apologized,’ and go on your merry way. It doesn’t matter if I believe you? Yeah, that’s just you shoving the responsibility off to me. Did you even stop to think about how I felt this entire time?”

“I’m really sorry, Se-”

“Don’t call me that. I don’t want to hear my name coming out of your mouth,” Sehun all but growled. Luhan nodded, swallowing down the burning in his throat and feeling it in his stomach to the very core.

He continued staring at the table when Sehun stood up to leave. He didn’t look up when the Prince tossed a rich purple envelope with golden detailing next to Luhan’s cup. He waited for Luhan to slide the letter out of the envelope before placing his hand flat on the table and leaning in way too close to whisper into Luhan’s ear, “You know what the worst part is? Even after all this, I can’t bring myself to hate you, no matter how much I want to.”

The Prince slowly drew back, savouring the stricken look on Luhan’s face. During the entire exchange, Luhan was staring at the engagement ring on the hand that Sehun seemingly put on purpose right in Luhan’s line-of-vision. Luhan briefly shut his eyes. I don’t have the right to be upset over this.

Luhan focused on skimming the rest of the letter, not wanting to watch Sehun stride out the door. It was an invitation to Sehun’s and Luna’s engagement party next month. He vaguely recalled Ji-eun saying something about a party over the phone, but he hadn’t paid any attention. It wasn’t like he would be attending anyway.

But here he had an invitation delivered personally by the Prince. And it stated at the bottom, You are personally invited to join us in celebrating Prince Sehun’s marriage! Your attendance is mandatory.

Why would he give me this? Luhan reread the letter, noticing the date. It clashes with my departure. That’s a good enough excuse not to go, right? Does that count as an emergency?

Luhan furrowed his brows, glaring at the headache-causing piece of paper before crumpling it up and shoving it into his pocket. He had come here to clear things up for everyone, but Sehun just gave him a bucketful of questions in return.

Luhan coming here to end their conflict might have just opened the door to a bigger fight down the road.

¤¤¤

Jongin wasn’t kidding when he meant the chase was on.

Kyungsoo had prided himself on the ability to avoid the butler, but he had managed to forget that Jongin also knew the chef’s entire daily routine like the back of his hand. The only reason Jongin hadn’t stalked him down the last time Kyungsoo gave him the cold shoulder was because he wanted to respect the chef’s request for him to back off.

But after a few days of hiding behind plants, sprinting down hallways, and crashing at another chef’s room, Kyungsoo noticed that Jongin’s appearances had decreased significantly. Until for an entire day, he hadn’t seen the butler once. He had felt a huge sense of relief, because running away was seriously tiring, but there was still the smallest bit of disappointment, too. He was a fool in the end, after all.

Kyungsoo thought after everything that happened, Jongin finally got the blatant hint to leave him alone. Of course, this was Jongin he was talking about. Kyungsoo should have known better than to let his guard down, because that was exactly what the butler was waiting for.

The chef was in the kitchen, as usual, cooking up some chicken broth to go with the ice cream Prince Sehun requested. Prince Sehun had personally asked for Kyungsoo to make it, since most of the staff had the day off now that all the contestants (excluding their new princess) was out of the building. It was also a rather odd order. The staff knew broth and ice cream was Sehun’s favourite break-up food, but there would be rumours flying around if they found out the Prince ordered this special dish during his engagement.

Humming, Kyungsoo decided that the soup would be done soon and walked to the freezer to get out the ice cream. It was nice, taking a break from the crazy buzz of the kitchen. He had gotten some rest days under his belt to lighten his eyebags and rest his sore back, too, so it was refreshing to get back to work.

Little did he know his peace was soon to be disturbed.

Swinging the freezer door open, Kyungsoo tip-toed and reached into the fridge. Frowning when he couldn’t find what he was looking for, Kyungsoo took a step back and peered into the freezer. That’s weird. I swear we had a full chocolate ice cream container the other day.

“Are you looking for this?”

“Oh my god!” Kyungsoo started and whipped his head around so fast he nearly bumped into the freezer door. His blood ran cold. It was the one voice he dreaded the most and yet, had once dreamt about for nights in a row. “Jongin?”

The butler winked in response. Rolling his eyes, Kyungsoo frowned when he saw the open ice cream container in Jongin’s hand, a spoon in the other.

“You can’t eat the ice cream,” Kyungsoo protested, but made no move to grab the container. He shut the door behind him, thankful for the excuse to turn his back to the butler so Jongin wouldn’t see his facial expression.

“Sehun sent me down here to tell you to forget about the order. He’s not hungry anymore.”

Kyungsoo furrowed his brows in worry. “The Prince should at least eat something. Go take the broth up to him. It’s almost done.”

“Okay,” Jongin agreed lightly, happily.

“Right. You can leave now.” When the butler made no move to do so, Kyungsoo sighed and pinned Jongin with a glare. “What are you still doing here?”

“I don’t think we ended on a nice note last time,” Jongin set the ice cream down and tossed the spoon into the sink with a clatter. “And you haven’t given me a chance to explain myself. But now we’re alone.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Kyungsoo scoffed, “You took advantage of me when I was in a vulnerable state, what was I supposed to do? Throw myself into your arms?”

“Okay, first, I’d like to apologize for that. I’m sorry. Really. It was impulsive but I, I wanted to know what it’d feel like to actually kiss you for once. For my entire life, there was this barrier between us that I couldn’t break. You were - are my best friend and I was scared to do anything to screw that up.” Jongin bit his lip, eyes downcast. “I still managed to do that, anyway.”

“The classic best-friend excuse, huh,” Kyungsoo sat himself down on the counter, too tired to run away anymore, too wary to fall for Jongin’s puppy act, no matter how much he wanted to. Either way, he couldn’t see himself escaping this conversation any longer. “You can see how hard it is for me to believe you.”

“I know,” Jongin sighed. He lifted his head, the stare in his eyes heavy and sincere. “But I meant it when I said I love you.”

“No one can get over Prince Sehun that quickly and fall in love with a chef,” Kyungsoo said, not out of hurt but matter-of-factly, like he honestly couldn’t believe why anyone would fall in love with him. “You’re just confused because of my random confession, and how both of the men you loved before love each other now. I’m just an easy back-up plan.”

“No, it’s not - Sehun, he’s a habit. I always remembered taking care of him and worrying after him and loving him, because that’s what I was raised to do. And it was really easy, safe even, to love him, because I know it wouldn’t work out so there was no hope and thus, minimized the heartbreak. He was a celebrity to me, in that way. And Luhan was the person who made me realize it, that there were other kinds of love than the one I felt for the Prince.”

“What are you trying to say?” Kyungsoo asked cautiously. He started fidgeting with his hands to shake off the feeling of Jongin’s stare.

“It’s impossible to compare you two because you’re far different people and so it makes sense that I’d have far different feelings for all of you. I’m trying to say that maybe my feelings for you is the right kind of love.” Jongin stepped forward slowly, not wanting to scare Kyungsoo, and held his hands to stop them from fidgeting. His eyes were downcast and staring at their entwined fingers. Kyungsoo hated how he noticed Jongin’s pretty, fluttering eyelashes. “You’re not a mind-reader, Kyungie. Don’t assume all the time without asking me. You shouldn’t be able to know what I’m thinking.”

Kyungsoo pried Jongin’s hands off of his and hopped down onto the ground. He stared up at Jongin, saw the apprehension, the worry, the fear, and smiled coldly, flashing all teeth and no gums, “I never know what you’re thinking anymore.”

When the chef walked past Jongin, the butler made no move to grab him or turn to watch him go. Just as Kyungsoo reached the doorway, Jongin called out, “Why can’t you give us a chance?”

The words were desperate, but Jongin’s voice held more exasperation than anything. Kyungsoo gave a short burst of dry laughter at that. “I’ve been giving us a chance for at least a good five years already, probably more. And I’m tired, Jongin. Of waiting on you. Of watching you make the wrong choices.”

“You think you’re the wrong choice?” Jongin asked incredulously, bordering on hurt.

“For you, yes. And it took me a hell of a while to figure that out myself.”

“Kyungie-”

“My name is not Kyungie!” Kyungsoo barked harshly. Quickly, he reined back his anger at the sight of Jongin’s scared, puppy eyes. He rarely lost his temper at Jongin. Kyungsoo’s way of handling anger was cold silence, not storms of anger. “It’s  Do Kyungsoo. We’ve known each other for fourteen years; how do you not know that yet?”

Jongin opened his mouth, and his foot shuffled a step forward, then back, as if he didn’t know where exactly to place himself.

“Then again, I suppose there are many things you don’t know about me. Simply because you didn’t pay attention. But I can’t blame you for that,” Kyungsoo was less hurt, more musing, at this point. “You didn’t even know about my feelings for you until I basically spelled it out for you.”

Jongin bowed his head with nothing else to say but, “I’m sorry, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo replied gently yet sternly, “If you’re really sorry, then don’t come after me like this again. Whatever you’re searching for, you’re not going to find it here with me. I had hoped we could be friends after my feelings were resolved. I can tell that won’t be the case.”

The chef walked out of the kitchen without a look back after saying his piece. He didn’t see how Jongin slumped against the counter, jabbed the spoon into the ice cream container, and shoved the chocolate spoonful into his mouth viciously. He didn’t see how contrasting the scene was from the previous time he walked out on Jongin. Because Kyungsoo didn’t see all that, he wouldn’t have known that Jongin had learned just what it felt like to have someone you’ve known and loved for ages slip away from your fingers and into a body of a stranger.

¤¤¤​

The next time Luhan broke out of his routine of work-study-eat-sleep was to meet up with Baekhyun. He missed his best friend’s endearingly annoying face. Jongdae was chill, but Baekhyun had that irreplaceable energy and besides, he wanted to check up on how the brunet was doing.

They arranged to meet up at Baekhyun’s new workplace, a bar fifteen minutes away by car. It had more business than Jongdae’s, with its dim lighting and wood tiling, indie musicians on stage and bizarre drinks with a mouthful for a name. From first glance, Luhan knew it was definitely not his way of spending a Friday night.

Thankfully, Baekhyun was there to whisk him to a tall table with equally tall chairs off to the side before he got lost in the crowd of black and grey. Nobody except for him was wearing any colours. Even Baekhyun, who favoured his bright oranges and blues was dressed in a simple black, fitted t-shirt and ripped skinny jeans. His hair was swept upwards and dyed a lighter shade of brown, almost grey in the lighting.

“Here,” Baekhyun slid a bright blue drink in front of Luhan. “Don’t worry. It’s raspberry soda.”

“Thanks.” Luhan took a sip, letting the liquid settle in his mouth. It tasted artificial. It tasted like fizzy bubble tea. “You doing alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s great for once, surprisingly,” Baekhyun laughed, taking a sip of his own drink. He drummed his fingers impatiently on the table. “How are things with you?”

Luhan shrugged. “I’m getting by.”

Suddenly, Baekhyun slammed his hands down on the table. Luhan’s glass toppled over, and he caught it swiftly before it rolled off the edge. Baekhyun was too excited to notice, however, and blurted out, “Okay, this small talk is making me nervous. We’ll get to all that catching up stuff later but I have something important to tell you - not that your life is unimportant but you know what I mean.”

Luhan opened his mouth to reply but Baekhyun cut him off again, “You cannot believe what came into the mail the other day.”

When Baekhyun didn’t continue, Luhan rolled his eyes, knowing it’s his cue to ask, “What came into the mail?”

“This!” Baekhyun whipped out a horrifyingly familiar purple letter out of his pocket and slapped it onto the table. Luhan reached for it and slowly pulled out the invitation. He blinked his eyes, wondering why the words were swimming around on the page for a second. He read the letter while Baekhyun went on, “ I don’t know who sent it but did you get one?”

“I-” Luhan quickly set the paper down and blinked again. He couldn’t find himself telling Baekhyun about Sehun, for some reason. “Yeah, I got one, too. I’m not going, though.”

“Really?” Baekhyun deflated a little.

“You want to go?” Luhan gaped at him. “Are you insane? Chanyeol and - and…” Luhan cleared his throat and glanced around them to see if anyone was listening. No one was, but he still lowered his volume. “He’s going to be there! It’s his freaking engagement party. Now tell me why in the world I would go.”

“But that means I have to go alone!” Baekhyun whined, dropping his head in his hands. “I know who’s going to be there, thank you very much, but I don’t have a good reason to not go. Unlike you, with your fancy move to Japan and all.” The brunet sniffed. “You traitor. Leaving me behind all the time.”

Luhan sighed, “Honestly, what’s the worst that’s going to happen if you don’t attend?”

“Fines? Insulting the Royals? No one in their sane mind has ever declined the royals of anything, especially not their balls.” Baekhyun’s voice grew shriller by the second. “Who in the world sent me this punishment?”

I have a guess just exactly who, Luhan mused to himself, but wisely chose not to voice his thoughts.

“Lu, can’t you just think of it like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? We can just drop by, make sure whoever sent the damn invitation knows we’re there, and then leave.” Baekhyun turned his puppy-dog eyes to full blast, which wasn’t quite effective with his winged eyeliner on. “I can’t walk into there alone.”

Luhan dropped his head onto the table with a thud. “I can’t believe you’re actually convincing me to do this.”

“It doesn’t matter what happens there because you’re leaving the country right after.”

“My flight is literally that evening.”

“We’re not staying long.”

“We have to buy tuxes and style our hair and-”

“Don’t worry, I got that all covered, I mean, I’m a walking masterpiece everyday so.” Baekhyun gestured to himself cheekily.

“Oh, god,” Luhan lifted his head, rubbing at the red spot on his forehead where it hit the table. Sighing, he shut his eyes. “Fine.”

“Yes!” Baekhyun exclaimed and clapped Luhan on the back way too hard. “You’re the best human shield ever. And a decent friend, too.”

Luhan knocked the hand away, shaking his head. “You better buy me a ton of those raspberry sodas. With alcohol.”

“I thought you didn’t drink-”

“Alcohol. Lots of it.” Luhan glared at the offensive purple invitation sitting all-too-innocently in front of him. “I’m going to need it tonight.”

¤¤¤​

“So this is where we’re gonna be sleeping together soon?”

Luna stood with arms on hips in the middle of the largest, fluffiest bed she had ever laid eyes upon. There were six pillows at the head and layers of blankets. She didn’t doubt they were made of the finest down and silk. The wallpaper was probably gold, too, with the way it shimmered in the afternoon light.

“You can sleep here and I’ll just stay in my old room,” Sehun said from behind her. Luna turned around to face him with an unamused expression, and he raised his hands. “Hey, I don’t want to move all my things into this room.”

Luna huffed, not fooled for a bit, “You can have the servants do that for you.”

The Prince shrugged, trailing his fingers over the walls as he blankly took in the bare room. Not that it was unfurnished, but because there were no signs of personality in here, and he couldn’t imagine ever connecting with this room, not like his old one.

Then again, maybe it was best to start over with something new.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Luna muttered softly.

“I know,” He replied lightly.

“That was the worst marriage proposal in all of history,” Luna said in her usual flippant, detached manner. It was clear that she had never fancied him all that much, and yet here they were, engaged. “It should have gone to Luhan instead.”

Sehun dropped his hand from the wall.

“He really loves you. And if you really loved him, too, you would have known he wouldn’t have done this without a proper reason.”

“You always speak like you know everything,” Sehun glared at her. “If we’re going to be married, you’re going to have to learn what not to say in front of me.”

“What makes you think I’ll follow those rules?” Luna crossed her arms defiantly, eyebrows raised.

“Don’t kid yourself. If you wanted to leave, you would have already. Whether it’s because of some situation back home or you just love Seoul so much, I don’t care. But as long as you’re here, you’re going to become a princess. And princesses watch what they say.”

“Maybe it’s just me,” Luna said tauntingly when Sehun was on his way out the door, “but I don’t think I’ll ever be the princess. Or at least your princess.”

Sehun rolled his eyes, yet for some reason stayed lingering in the doorway to humour her. “And who do you think my princess should be?”

Luna shrugged playfully, “Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet her at the ball.”