2:37. Haruki rolled onto her other side and pulled her blankets closer to her chin, but she knew that once again, sleep would not be coming tonight.

If she closed her eyes, she could see the image of Taemin's smiling face burned against her eyelids. She could see Siwon standing beside him, raking his fingers through his hair the way he always did when he was thinking. She could hear the older detective's reassuring voice, which had the same calming effect in her mind that it had always had in real life, telling her to relax, everything would be alright.

And then he stumbled onto his back, a red stain spreading across his shirt. “Traitor,” he mouthed as his eyes grew glassy. His last word.

Dark purple bruises spread around the eyes and Taemin was staring back at her, that angelic smile still on his face. He reached a hand towards her as he came closer-

Haruki opened her eyes with a start. She shivered and drew her knees to her chest. Even with an extra blanket piled on, she still felt cold. She glanced at the clock again. 2:39. She sighed.

With Chief Park's nagging, she'd finally agreed to see Dr. Park Yoochun, a friend of Onew's. Even though she dutifully went once a week, for the first two months, she'd refused to open up to him. She had pointedly ignored all his questions until he'd one day stopped asking them. It was a strategy she was familiar with, one she had often employed in her interrogations, depending on the attitude of the subject. Often, those who kept their mouths shut began to wither and squirm under her silent, relentless stare until they cracked. It was all about using the right attitude, a mixture of pity and contempt that Dr. Park had perfected.

She'd put up a fight as long as she could, but she knew it was a losing battle before she even began. After all, that's the way it had always worked for her, wasn't it?

And so she’d started talking. She talked about her anger towards Taemin and criminals like him, how it had led her so close to crossing the line between cop and vigilante. She told him how sorry she was for the girls, including Ga-In and Hyuna, for being blinded by their anger and hatred. She told him everything that Siwon had said to her and how she hadn’t even had second thoughts about accepting his offer.

Soon after that, the nightmares had begun. Ga-In, Hyuna, G.O., IU, Chunji, L. Joe, Krystal, Hyorin, Tiffany, Seungri, all the faces from those cases that were dismissed, both victims and suspects alike, swarmed around her, as she tried to hide from their accusatory glares and smirking faces.

“Why didn’t you help us?”

“How could you betray us?”

“You’re really no better than we are.”

Around and around they went until they became a swirling red blur that bore down on her from all sides until Haruki woke up, gasping for air.

Before she started seeing Dr. Park, she’d been able to push all these thoughts out of her mind to focus on her work. But after she’d begun opening up to him, the memories welled up like blood from a reopened wound.

After seeing the dark circles under her eyes, Dr. Park had asked if she’d been sleeping well. She finally told him about the nightmares and how she’d finally let go of much of the anger, but not the guilt.

“You’re only human, Haruki,” he said. “You’re not responsible for other people’s actions and you can’t protect everyone.”

But on the one hand, she hadn’t brought Ga-In and Hyuna, who had already suffered so much, the closure that they deserved. On the other hand, she’d viewed G.O., Chunji and L. Joe with the same sneering scorn that they had shown their victims.

She rolled over to look at the clock again. 2:45. She sighed and buried her face in her pillow, resigning herself to another sleepless night.