People say that you can tell whether or not someone likes you by looking in their eyes. There was some silly scientific explanation about how when you felt attraction, your pupils dilated to allow in more light so that you could look at the person better. Sungmin didn't believe any of it.

Because if it were true, Haruki should have seen it in his eyes a long time ago.

He’d been interrogating a suspect when she first arrived, so he hadn’t met her when Leeteuk introduced her to the department. Instead, he’d met her later, when she was struggling with opening the door to her new office because someone had jammed the lock with gum. He’d helped her out by kicking down the door.

The first few months, Haruki had been the target of countless pranks. While it wasn't unusual for the department to welcome the newcomer with a bit of hazing, there was an extra layer of malice in these attacks, presumably because she was female. Sungmin never took part in any of the childish activity and his respect for Haruki grew as she took everything in stride. She never complained to Chief Park and she never fought back beyond giving her laughing tormenters a withering glare.

Her first partner had been Eunhyuk, who had dismissed all of her ideas without sharing any of his own. Sungmin, feeling sympathetic, had taken to discussing her cases with her. Somehow, they soon fell into the habit of meeting in the morning and chatting over a cup of coffee, even if only for a few minutes.

Haruki was strong, there was no doubt about it. But there were moments when they discussed their cases, when they talked about the victims and the lives they'd led when her mask would slip. Sometimes, he saw anger; more often, it was despair. That was when he realized she was more than she seemed. Beneath her hardened exterior, she was wounded and vulnerable and that side only ever showed itself when she was around him.

Leeteuk turned away to write something on the board. He felt a sharp elbow in his side and turned to Jonghyun, who pointed down the long table they were seated around. Donghae was sitting next to Haruki and he leaned forward, running his fingers through her hair before tucking a strand behind her ear. Jonghyun stuck his finger in his mouth and made a gagging motion, but Sungmin could barely manage a smile when he saw that she didn’t swat Donghae’s hand away.

Just because he’d realized that Haruki’s heart had always been with Donghae didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell to see them together. Ryeowook had become suspicious of how often he was away, “investigating.” Truth be told, there was nothing he was doing out there that he couldn’t accomplish in the office. The first day Haruki had come back to work, she’d greeted him with a hot cup of coffee and a smile so bright it had physically pained him, knowing what the cause was. It was an open secret that Donghae and Haruki were together and they rarely showed any signs that they were more than colleagues. Haruki was particularly strict about that, but seeing her face light up when Donghae approached her was enough to make his stomach twist.

Chief Park finally finished babbling and Sungmin applauded dutifully along with the others. As he rose to leave, he saw Donghae bend down and whisper something into Haruki’s ear. She laughed so casually that he stared in surprise. In all the years they’d been friends, she’d never smiled like that with him. He’d tried for so long to get her to open up to him, but she had been as secretive as a Chinese puzzle box.

It had been so easy for Donghae to get to where he wanted to be.

She caught his eye from across the room and waved. “Sungmin!” she called.

He pretended that he hadn’t seen or heard her and quickly ducked out of the room, ignoring Ryeowook’s cry of protest as he rushed out of the building and into his car. He didn’t want to see the happiness in her eyes when she looked at Donghae, which had never been and never would be directed towards him. He sighed, before gritting his teeth and slamming his hands against his steering wheel. What he’d said to her before he kissed her such a long time ago was still true.

He was a coward. 

A/N: Requested by ParkMyeonji. 

Well...this turned out a lot more depressing than I expected. I feel like I owe him another chapter, just so he can get closure...