"See what I have to go through to take care of you?" Yongguk muttered, humour swimming in his eyes as he hoisted the younger on his back. 

Himchan simply let the other get him on his back, still not confident of his own legs(because they seriously felt like jelly and he's not so sure that they could support him at the moment). His arms were lead to wrap around the older's shoulders and he simply obliged, resting his head on the crook of Yongguk's neck (and damn it because he smelled of rain and something so Yongguk it made blood rush up Himchan's neck and face).

"Let's go home," the elder whispered with a small sigh of relief and Himchan almost didn't catch it if he wasn't so close to the elder. It sounded so nice that Himchan had to keep repeating the phrase in his head, unconsciously grinning before burrying his face deeper into Yongguk's neck.

"Yeah," Himchan muttered against Yongguk's neck, "let's go home". He didn't know why it sounded so appealing to him(because since when did the word 'home' sound so welcoming?) but he couldn't really care less so he simply let the grogginess take over.

"I like you the best," Himchan found himself murmuring before he could stop himself. 

"That's something," the elder said with a chuckle and Himchan found himself tightening his grasp around the elder before saying; "Everyone leaves me behind," with a small sniff and the elder had to stop for a moment in panic before moving on(because he learned how honest the younger becomes when intoxicated and that he should let the younger speak his mind for it was the only way he knows how to help).

"Everyone keeps on moving forward and it's lonely being left behind and all," Himchan continued with a small chuckle not really knowing how to stop now because Yongguk and his comfortable silence is never about not knowing what to say. His silence means 'keep talking', his quiet demeanor means 'I'm listening'; all of this about Yongguk says 'I'm here' in so many ways. 

"Why can't I be better?" if he was talking to Yongguk or himself, Himchan didn't know. "Why am I like this?" so much questions went through his head, he didn't notice the tears coming until he felt Yongguk gently patting his legs, hushing him down(as if to tell him he was wrong and to stop his nonesense).

With the feeling of the rain against his back, his heart thumping in his chest(and he's kind of scared that Yongguk would notice but the elder said nothing so Himchan simply assumed it was fine), and the faint sound of Yongguk humming a random song by some foreign artist he recognized as Rick Ross, (who knew rummaging through Yongguk's precious--as the elder always said-- record collection and taking his ipod when Himchan forgot his own would come in handy at a time like this?) Himchan let the sleepiness start to take over his exhausted mind.

It's been so long since the last time Himchan felt like a kid; been forever since he found himself relying on someone other than himself. He never let anyone see him weak; always wanting to be seen as someone reliable and strong, but being with Yongguk simply gave him the chance to be the one taken care of. One look from the elder and his walls come crumbling down, leaving him vulnerable and--to his surprise-- free. It felt nice.

The rest of the walk back to Yongguk's apartment was peaceful and comfortable despite the chilly rain and the soaked clothes. Himchan had no clue how the elder managed to get him into dry clothes and on the elder's cramped sofa without much trouble, but it was Yongguk and he always had his way no matter how lazy and slow it may be. 

He could hear the elder slump beside him on the floor with a sigh. He felt the elder's soaked hair and cold hand against his arm as he brushed his hair back. 

"You really like working me up, don't you?" He heard the faint sound of the elder's low voice but he kept his eyes closed because they seriously felt like they weigh a ton of pounds.

"Yah don't fall sleep on me," Yongguk said in a defeated voice before getting up and pulling Himchan along with him to put the younger on the bed. 

"Go get some rest," Yongguk patted the younger's head as he pulled the blanket over Himchan, making sure he was cozy and warm. Watching the younger be peaceful and content in his bed, snuggling further into his sheets made Yongguk calm and relieved. 

He somehow felt the need to keep the younger safe, warm, and happy; not wanting the image of a drunk and crying Himchan(very much like the first and second time they really spent time with each other) to make its comeback. 

Himchan is fragile and has many cracks despite the bright smiles that seem to be permanently put on as a mask to cover up. He is scared and has many flaws but he hides it well behind his bold character. He isn't perfect(cause who the hell is?) but Himchan is beautiful. Although he doesn't seem to have a clue.

"He was getting married," Himchan finally muttered, bringing Yongguk back to reality. He stared, blinking and dumbfounded for a couple of seconds before realizing what--who-- Himchan was talking about. Yongguk started to pull his hand away when Himchan grabbed it, keeping it flat against his eyes.

 Yongguk was stuck between keeping his silence like usual and taking the younger in his arms because pleading for him to stop crying seemed very appealing at the moment(who knew seeing someone cry could hurt this bad?). He felt the tears against his palm, felt them hot against his fingers and saw them fall over the side and trickle slowly down Himchan's pale skin. 

Swallowing unconsiously, Yongguk wished for the lump in his throat to go away, for the painful tumbling in his stomach to stop(because he's supposed to be comforting Himchan, not feel sick right now). 

"I knew it was going to happen eventually but still I," Himchan paused, sniffling and hiccuping now, "still I hoped he'd change his mind," holding on tighter as if it could save his life, "that he'd pick me." Yongguk felt all his energy leave him but willed his hand to stay where it was because it was Himchan and how the hell was he supposed to refuse the younger?

"He was there at the party," Himchan started shaking like a leaf but Yongguk couldn't even find the strength to panic or worry.

"He said he still loved me," Himchan said with a weak laugh and goddamnit because Yongguk could barely feel his now fisted right hand, "that he wants me back even though he's married," the tears wouldn't stop flowing despite how much Yongguk wished for them to dissappear and he hated it. Hated how powerless he was against this selfish man he barely even knew but despised so strongly (and never would he have thought he could feel this much hatred towards anyone).

"That ing ," Himchan muttered through gritted teeth, "that damn idiot," he took a deep breath,"of course I'd tell him to get lost," he continued, finally letting go of Yongguk's hand after a few minutes that seemed to be forever for the two of them.

Yongguk pulled his hand away, watching the puffy eyed Himchan try to recover-- and even though it wasn't the first time he's seen this particular sight, he sat there not knowing what to do. Not because he was clueless of what happened like the first time nor was it because he felt sorry like the second time but simply because he was stuck between wanting to comfort the younger and wanting to hate him for crying over someone so undeserving-- for not loathing and detesting the said man enough and making it seem like that all the stupid, selfish things he did were already forgiven.

"Sorry about this," Himchan tried to smile and 'no, don't even try smiling when you don't want to,' Yongguk wanted to say but refrained from doing so, "you must be exhau--" the younger continued when Yongguk put a warm hand flat against his eyes once more before leaning closer and capturing his lips.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Update! Phew finally! I apologize for taking forever /(  _ _)\ I hate myself for it too.....

But Yongguk! I wasn't expecting this outcome either but yeah sure, it works and i'm happy *ehemhopefullysoareyoualthoughitooforeverandiapologizeagainehem* 😄😅😅

Well, I hope you enjoyed it♥^^