Hello,

I recently got a new subscriber. I was very happy so I went back to my file of non-finished fanfics and decided to finish and post one.  I feel like I have lost any gains that I had made since my last fanfic (not that an improvement was evident. ) Anyway I hope that you like it. The story is set in the same universe of Shadow a Angel.

Enjoy and do not forget to subscribe and comment!

whateverisnextisokay

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Bang Youngguk walked inside his room tired after a long week of dealing with territorial negotiations. There were individuals in the organization that preferred violence to solve territorial disputes, but not, Yongguk. He wanted to deal with the dispute diplomatically. Maybe that was going too far, he just did not want to lose whatever was left of his soul. Therefore, if there was a chance to solve the issue without major losses or without violence then he would do it.  There was nothing noble about him or his modus operandi.  Rather, it was desire to keep the dirtiness of his profession away from himself just enough so that he could remain a moment longer with his angel.  It was only when he was near Himchan that he was able momentarily forget about his past and the grime that came with it.  Yongguk is a realist so he knows that the reprieve is temporary and that he is not deserving of staying near Himchan, but he is selfish and as long as Himchan wants him he will stay.  On second thought, he would stay even if Himchan did not want him.  Many thought that the driving force behind Yongguk’s motivation was gratitude toward Himchan and the Boss, but it was not gratitude.  By the time that the Boss and Himchan had saved him, at the short age of seven, Yongguk had lost any ability to experience positive human emotions.

Yongguk walked toward the shower. He probably had about half an hour before he was interrupted.  As the hot water touched his skin he allowed himself to be immersed in old memories.

The first time that he saw Himchan, he was at the brink of death.  It was the surprising strength in the hold of the six year old and the warm tears running down his face that allowed Yongguk to remain alive.  At that time, Yongguk was ready to die, especially once he saw that he was in the hands of an angel. However, once he started hearing the soft pleas coming from Himchan begging him to open his eyes, Yongguk realized that he was not dead.  At first he felt disappointment, but as he felt Himchan’s insistence he decided that it would be unfair to give grief to the human angel with brown cat-shaped-eyes so he fought for his life.  It was not easy. There had been considerable damage to his lungs and the malnutrition and the abuse certainly did not help, but Himchan had come to visit every day and threw tantrums whenever he was not allowed to stay as long as he wanted.  At one point, he even convinced (more likely threatened and manipulated) his father to set up a bed next to Yongguk’s in the hospital.

At first, Yongguk had been defensive, even cruel to Himchan, afraid to be conned.  Especially after seeing how Himchan had everyone wrapped around his pretty little fingers.   In fact, it took him a full year to realize that he was, in fact, trapped.  The realization came when Himchan asked 9-year-old Yongguk to go with him to his cousin’s princess teamed party.  Hyosung was five years old, had an infatuation with Yongguk, and wanted him to be her prince.   Of course, Yongguk refused.  He could still remember the way that Himchan looked at him. It was a combination of disappointment and disbelief.  Himchan tried to cajole him into agreeing, but when that did not work he brought the big guns.  With teary eyes he told him “Well, do as you please.  You are no longer my friend.” Then he turned and walked away like the diva that he is.  At first, Yongguk had not taken his words seriously.  That threat was not new.  However, his view soon changed when Himchan disappeared from his life.  He stopped showing up in randomly in his room; there were no more surprise hugs or bunny smiles.  He also took away Tatsmato and Shishimato. He had not thought that he would care, but strangely he cared. He soon found himself secretly (attempting, he had not mastered his shadow skills at that time) following Himchan, thirsty for his attention.   He did this for five days.  He finally broke down on the sixth when he saw Himchan giving Zico a prince costume.  Yongguk could not hold it back anymore.  He walked to the laughing couple and rudely snatched away the costume.  He brusquely took Himchan’s hand and dragged him away. 

“Let’s go Himchan.  I think that I saw Hyosung  arrive.”  He had a small grudge against Zico since then. If Yongguk had not been too busy attempting to save his pride he would have noticed the small smile playing in the younger male’s lips and the little effort he had to put into “dragging” Himchan away.  It was not until years later that Yongguk questioned the reason as to why the costume was such a perfect fit if his body.  Yongguk knew for a fact that his and Zico’s measurements were completely different.  His angel was cunning.

Yongguk smiled one of those private smiles that could only be brought about by memories of Himchan.  He dried his hair, getting ready for bed.  As he made his way towards his dresser an insistent knock was heard.

“Yah, you changed the lock again!”

 Himchan.  Yongguk laugher silently.  Himchan hated to be kept from his objectives and at this point he wanted to come in to annoy Yongguk.  Himchan loved just barging into his room, especially after long trips.  Yongguk had been away for five days.  The longest they had been apart in some time.  If Yongguk was honest to himself he would admit that missed Himchan, but he enjoyed annoying him more.

“There.”

 Came the exited voice of Himchan.  A big smile on his lips. He had opened the door. Yongguk was not surprised. Himchan could be dedicated when motivated.  Once Yongguk started locking things from Himchan he soon learned to crack locks.  Yongguk knew this, and it was actually the only reason why he kept changing his locks.  Yongguk could deny nothing to Himchan. The only times in which Yongguk could remain firm was if Himchan was in any type of real  danger.

“Took you longer than usual.” Yongguk replied with his deep voice, hiding his amusement. Himchan pursed his lips and arranged his features into a cute face.

“You are evil.” Himchan said playfully as he walked toward Yongguk, discreetly looking for any scars or injuries. 

“I am okay. I am not hurt.” Yongguk knew that Himchan worried.  That was the second reason why he tried to avoid violence. Himchan nagged too much.

“I do not care.” Himchan visibly relaxed and made his way to Yongguk’s bed.

“What are you doing?” Yongguk asked as Himchan made himself comfortable in his bed. 

“Nothing much. I decided that I will sleep here tonight.”  Yongguk glared.  He loved being close to Himchan, but sleeping in the same bed always tested his limits. He was tired. He did the work of ten days in 5 days just to be able to get back home (a.k.a Himchan).

“Himchan, I am tired. Go to your room. I cannot put up with you tonight.”  Himchan just looked at him unimpressed and then proceeded to scoot to his side of the bed. Yes, they each had a side of the bed.

“Get in.”  Yongguk glared at as he settled next to the ulzzang.  Himchan snuggled next to him.

“I already told my dad that you are my bodyguard.  You are not allowed to have assignments away from me.” Himchan commanded. Yongguk smiled glad that he was missed.

“You said that you were sleeping here, not that you were going to speak my ear off.”  Himchan glared at him and settled on his chest.  He closed his eyes and within minutes he was fast asleep.  Yongguk looked at the sleeping man. Even as the son of a mafia boss Himchan remained untouched by the filth surrounding him. Yongguk was finally at ease. Yes, sleeping with Himchan tested his limits, but he could not deny himself.  Even if he burned in hell, he would remain by Himchan’s side. He would never be his equal or be deserving of whatever level of fondness Himchan had for him but he didn’t care.

No, it was not gratitude. It never was. It was the temptation of the forbidding, a yearning for the impossible.

It was always Himchan.