“So, you do know what you need to do first, right?”

“Uhmm. . . “

“You need establish a connection with her! It’s the first step!”

“Uhm? . . .”

Deukie looked completely lost. He was lost. Lost in Minzy’s eyes. He just couldn’t believe this was actually going on. For the first time in like, forever, he was alone and intimate with Minzy. Well, intimate was rather an overstatement, but it sure felt intimate for him. Like, he was actually having a conversation (trying to have one) with her, just the two of them, alone, in a room. Ever since his crush on her grew bigger and bigger, he was slowly losing even the capacity to say hi to her, so for him to be suddenly alone with Minzy, it meant a great deal. And it made him so nervous he couldn’t understand a thing from what she was saying.

On the other hand, he just couldn’t comprehend the fact that he got stuck in this stupid situation, against his will. Pretending to be his brother, pretending to have a crush on Sora, pretending to be taught by Minzy on how to win Sora’s heart. This was NOT at all how he imagined his relationship with Minzy would progress.

It was however a type of progress, more than he ever managed to develop on his own.

And so here they were, the two of them sitting together on the floor in an empty dance studio, having their very fist lesson. Life surely is ironic, isn’t it?

“Donnie! Do you even hear what I am saying?!” Minzy snapped her fingers right in front of Deuk’s soulless eyes, trying to catch his attention.

“Yes, yes, I’m trying to understand . . .”

“Good, now hear me out. You need to reach out to her! The best way to go around this kind of things is to feel familiar to her, right off the bat, even though you barely know each other. That’s how you establish a connection the fastest way possible, but it’s a tricky thing to do. It’s, for example, as if you were to first get in touch with a long lost relative. You have all the reasons to be quickly intimate with each other, yet you have to be cautious not to exaggerate. So, you need to, first thing, get in touch.”

Deuk only intercepted tiny glimpses of Minzy’s beautiful explanation, the words continuously spinning around and passing right by his ears.

“I need to . . . what?! . . . I need to TOUCH HER? Do girls just like to directly go to PHYSICAL CONTACT?! And that’s only the first step?!”

And my innocent was wondering how to say a humble "hello" to you without looking like a creep.

“HUH WHAT?! TOUCH HER?! NO NO ABSOLUTLY NOT!” Minzy desperately swung her hands in the air gesturing an obvious ‘NO’. “GET IN TOUCH I said GET IN TOUCH oh god!”

“Oh, that makes more sense . . .” Deukkie lowered his gaze to the floor in embarrassment.

Great! Now she definitely thinks I am a creep.

“Oh god, I knew you were kind of a player Donnie! But not to this extend!” She giggled. “No wonder you always spend such short periods of time with one girl. You must skip a couple of steps right from the start!”

Wait, that’s right, I am my scumbag brother. She thinks my brother is a creep. That’s great then!

Deuk proudly exhibited a pleased smile, which just so happened to perfectly fit with what his ‘scumbag’ twin would’ve done in this context anyway.

“But this time around you must really like Sora, right? You can’t even seem to talk to her so it’s totally different! Love can change even the most confident personality. This is SO cute!” Minzy clenched and shook her fists from the cuteness overload.

Deukkie raised his glance and fondly examined the girls reaction.

You’re cute.

“But you do need to talk to her!” she spoke again. “You need to make conversation! You need to get to know her. Ask her loads of questions, let her talk about herself, people love that!”

“Questions? What kind of questions?”

“Well, anything! Even the most basic ones are good, to begin with.”

Deuk’s expression darkened a little as he tried to concentrate on finding a suitable question.

“Well, then how about . . . something like . . .” he eventually found a question and asked it with a hesitant, yet hopeful tone: “What’s the weather like today?”

No positive feedback came unfortunately, as Minzy just dumbly stared at him with disapproval.

“Are you freaking serious? What’s the weather like today? What the heck do you think she is? A freaking meteorologist!? Your local station’s wheatear-girl?! I’ve never heard anything so stupid in my entire life!” her laughter instantly filled the room.

“Okay, fine! Forget that then. . . I just really don’t know how to do this.”

Finally quelling her laughter, Minzy intervened with further explanations:

“How about you try something more personal? And to prevent another dumb question, yes, you should DEFINITELY SKIP asking her name. HA HA HA!”

“I was NOT going to ask that!” He frowned again while thinking of another, let’s hope, better example.

“What’s your favorite color? . . .”

Minzy’s reaction this time around was clearly on the positive side, as she smiled with the corner of , amused by the innocent, childish, sweet question that first came up in the mind of this fully grown-man.

“This is definitely an option. But I’d say this would be more suited for making friends on the first day of kindergarten, don’t you think?” she chuckled.

“I guess so, yes . . .”

“But it’s a good begging! In the right context it might even work as it is.” Minzy nevertheless encouraged his effort. “Let’s work from it. I’ll give you some examples too, so you get some inspiration. That’s how conversations work anyway. I say something, you say something and one subjects leads to another. Ok, so I’ll start then. Let’s imagine I am Sora and I meet you down the hall. Whenever two people meet, the first thing they say is inevitably a question anyway! So I’ll say: ”

Deuk averted his gaze and nervously looked around the room for a moment, taken aback by the sudden role-play.

“Uhm . . . Hi, Sora . . . I’m fine, thank you . . .”

Minzy glanced intently at him, as to suggest she was waiting for his turn to ask a question too. After a brief moment that seemed like an eternity, the clueless boy caught the message:

“Oh! And you?!”

“I’m great! I just got back from the cinema.”

Another moment of silence settled within, point at which Minzy started to infuriatedly whisper at Deuk:

“Ask me what movie I went to!”

“What?! But it’s your turn to ask a question” he whispered back.

“What?!” Minzy was even more dismayed. “It doesn’t work like that in real life! It doesn’t matter whose turn it is for god’s sake! Just ask a question when you have the opportunity. Just keep the conversation going!”

Minzy cleared her voice and went in again:

“So I went to the movies. . .”

“Oh, uhm . . . What movie did you see?”

“Titanic! I’ve already watched a thousand times but it never gets old. What’s your favorite movie?”

“Ugh, well, I can’t think of one now . . .”

Minzy started whispering again, trying to come to the rescue:

“Don’t worry; you don’t need to have a definitive answer. Just try and ask another question when you don’t know what to say!”

Deuk nodded.

“What’s your favourite color?”

“. . .” Minzy sighed and put her hand to her forehead in frustration.

OH! So we are still continuing the conversation then! OK. I need to ask something related I GET IT, I GET IT, OK?

He quickly rectified his question:

“Do you like movies or series more?”

Minzy’s eyes suddenly sparkled with a hint of hope:

“That’s great! Making comparisons is a great way to come up with new questions” she whispered and gave him a proud thumbs-up, then went back to her act. “Oh, I guess I like series a little bit more. The stories are more complex and the characters have more time to grow and develop. I love intricate plots!”

It was Deukkie’s time to whisper now, as a sudden important dilemma had formed in his mind and required immediate solving:

“Minzy, did you answer this truthfully? Or are you still acting?”

“Huh? Well, I am just telling you whatever I would’ve answered if you were asking me. It’s not like I can possibly know what Sora would think, right?!”

At that exact moment, Deukkie’s face lit up with a sudden wave of divine inspiration, infinite questions starting to flow inside his mind like an endless river.

This means I can literally ask her anything about herself and she will answer sincerely. I can find out all her favourite things! I CAN FIND OUT EVERYTHING SHE ENJOYS DOING! This is the best day of my life! Oh my god, I need to write everything down so I won’t forget a thing she says!

“Minzy wait a second then! I need to get my notebook, so I don’t miss all your answers – I MEAN – all this great questions ideas for Sora!” He rushed to his backpack, got a notebook and pencil and sat back on the floor right next to her.

“You like complex storylines? Do you also like reading then? You must like long novels! What’s your favourite book? –“

“Oh wow! That’s great Donnie, keep on going! Don’t forget to write all of them down!”

“No, no, but wait! Answer all of them, please!”

“What? Me? You want me to answer?” Minzy quizzically raised one eyebrow.

“Yes . . . it . . . it helps with my creative process, simulating a dialogue, you know? So I can come up with even more questions!”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, yes! It’s just like a real conversation, right? You ask questions and you get answers that inspire further questions!”

Deuk was amazed with his own capability to bull, but hey, he finally got to sorta have a form of conversation with his crush, and who wouldn’t kill for that.

“Yeah, you’re totally right! Well, then, to answer the first question, yes, I LOVE reading! Novels are my favourite! I have so many books I loved, but the first one that I can think of was the one I read last summer while we were on tour . . .”

Deuk diligently wrote down every one of her words, while sneaking occasional peeks to admire the bright, happy expression she was bearing as she talked and talked about her favourite things.

 

____________________________________________

 

Bommie was sitting on her bed, very late at night, her eyes screwing up at the bright light of her phone, as she had been holding it above her head face for several hours already, in what seemed to be an eternal texting marathon. Her hands were numb and her fingers were tingly, as she tapped another message, hoping it would be the last one and she could finally go to sleep.

Her texting partner, on the other hand, didn’t plan to end the conversation so soon. He had been intensively trying to keep the conversation going, and he wasn’t stopping now.

[2:23AM] BOM: Leave me alone

[2:23AM] BOM: I don t care

[2:23AM] BOM: I am serious I don t care. This is stalking. I am being assaulted

[2:23AM] TOP: But waittttttttttt

[2:23AM] TOP: I have more things to tell you

[2:23AM] BOM: No. No you don t. You can’t possibly do. Enough is enough.

[2:23AM] TOP: Kangaroos have three s.

[2:24AM] BOM: oh my god

[2:24AM] TOP: ISN T THAT IMPRESSIVE

[2:24AM] BOM: Go

[2:24AM] BOM: Away

[2:24AM] BOM: If I hear just one more ‘fun fact’ from you I swear I am blocking your number

[2:24AM] TOP: BABY ELEPHANTS THEIR TRUNKS FOR COMFORT.

[2:24AM] BOM: WHAT ARE YOU NATIONAL GEOGHRAPHIC I REALLY DO NOT CARE

[2:24AM] BOM: oh god no! WHAT I MEAN IS

[2:24AM] BOM: I DON T CARE ABOUT YOU

[2:24AM] BOM: I CARE ABOUT BABY ELEPANTS. I’M SORRY BABY ELEPHANTS, MOMMY BOM LOVES YOU

[2:25AM] BOM: But seriously STOP IT leave me alone I want to sleep

[2:25AM] TOP: Pigs can for up to 30 minutes

[2:25AM] BOM: ARE YOU SERIOUS

[2:25AM] BOM: HOW CAN YOU GO FROM CUTE ELEPHANTS TO THIS

[2:25AM] BOM: HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE THIS MUST BE A FAKE ONE

[2:25AM] TOP: no it’s not. BBC earth says it totally happens

[2:25AM] TOP: ion duration is typically 4-5 minutes, but can last up to 20 minutes.

[2:25AM] TOP: you said you don’t care, but see? I told you these are interesting!

[2:25AM] BOM: Oh my god wait are you seriously researching this at 2 in the morning!?

[2:25AM] BOM: Never mind, it would’ve actually been way worse if you just happen to know these things by heart

[2:25AM] BOM: I can’t believe you kept me awake for so long

[2:26AM] TOP: Up until now you would’ve texted Ji Seok instead anyway, stop lying

[2:26AM] TOP: I have done no damage

[2:26AM] BOM: WHAt

[2:26AM] BOM: EXCUSE ME? So what?! It’s my freaking business

[2:26AM] TOP: Since you waste your time texting with idiots I thought you might as well just text me instead and I’ll teach you a lesson, by sharing some educational knowledge. I am a humanitarian I am showing you the way

[2:26AM] BOM: How will I EVER use the fact that a koala has three s?!

[2:26AM] TOP: a kangaroo*

[2:26AM] BOM: WHATEVER

[2:26AM] TOP: Well it seems like you definitely won’t ever use it because you can’t even remember a simple piece of information correctly

[2:26AM] TOP: We can go back to artistic education then, maybe you memorize visual material better. I know many other amazing artists, I have more masterpieces to show you. I’ll send you more pics

[2:27AM] BOM: NO

[2:27AM] BOM: NO WAY

[2:27AM] BOM: NO MORE PICTURES OF CHAIRS

[2:27AM] BOM: PLEASE

[2:27AM] BOM: MY CAMERA ROLL IS FULL OF FURNITURE PICS

[2:27AM] BOM: I ve seen MORE THAN ENOUGH FURNITURE FOR A WHOLE LIFETIME

[2:27AM] TOP: There can never be such thing as too much furniture

[2:27AM] TOP: Fine then, I ll stop for now. You can go to sleep if you want it so bad

[2:27AM] TOP: Do you even have to wake up early or anything? Do you have anything to do? Like let’s say a date with a douchebag or something?

[2:28AM] BOM: stop calling him a douchebag. You don t even know him

[2:28AM] BOM: and as a matter of fact no, I don t have any dates at the moment. Ji Seok is busy these days, he has some issues to solve with the club

[2:28AM] TOP: great then. We’ll talk tomorrow then. Good night

[2:28AM] BOM: HELL NO WE WON T

[2:28AM] BOM: DO NOT TEXT ME EVER AGAIN

[2:28AM] BOM: DO YOU UNDERSTAND

[2:28AM] BOM: HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE BYE

But TOP was going to text her again. He planned to text her every day, every hour, every moment he could, every second if it was possible. This was his new plan, his new approach. He figured, since Bom was always on her phone lately, always talking to that bastard Ji Seok, the only effective way he can end their communication was if Seunghyun made sure she was texting him instead. If TOP would always talk to her, this meant there was no time for Ji Seok to fit in her time. And TOP was determined to get rid of Ji Seok. Any kind of contact with him meant a great potential danger for him and most importantly for his sister’s happiness. And Seunghyun couldn’t let anything else happen, not when things were going so well for everybody.

____________________________________________

[06:11AM] SEUNGRI: I am sorry, ok?

[06:11AM] SEUNGRI: it can’t be that bad, right?!

[06:11AM] CL: It’s visible and obvious and impossible to freakin hide. YES it is THAT BAD

[06:11AM] CL: I can’t believe you did this right before I HAVE TO GO ON NATIONAL TELEVISON what has gotten into you?!

[06:11AM] SEUNGRI: don’t make me sound nuts, it’s just a love-bite! I’m sorry, again, I didn’t realize it was gonna turn to be that visible.

Chaerin was in the car, on her way to recording a reality show in which she had the honor of being a guest. A show with celebrities guests about healthy life-style, nutrition and fitness. All the good stuff, you know. Everything seemed great, right? Her only problem at the moment was just that red-purplish hickey on her skin that had gradually and visibly formed on the front of her neck this morning, much to her horror. It was Seungri’s work, obviously. They had spent some pleasant time together the night before, not thinking about what terrible consequences it could generate. Chaerin was now totally freaking out over the colorful patch from her neck, trying to think of a natural, very quick way to hide it from the crew, the producers, the cameras and, well, from the whole country.

[06:11AM] SEUNGRI: I just got a bit carried away, I am sorry. But come on it s not like u didn t enjoy it *smug emoticon*

[06:12AM] CL: I can’t believe this. I am an independent grown woman yet I have to behave like a teenager that needs to hide hickeys from her mother

[06:12AM] CL: What will I do oh god

[06:11AM] SEUNGRI: just put some make up on it

[06:12AM] CL: IT S A FITNESS THEMED BROADCAST I WILL BE DOING SPORTS I WILL BE SWEATING NO MAKE UP CAN RESIST THAT

[06:12AM] CL: BESIDES THAT it’s so big and dark, no foundation is strong enough to cover this

[06:12AM] SEUNGRI: geez fine, just pretend ur lazy or something then. You re the celebrity just act like one and let the others do the work

[06:12AM] SEUNGRI: and ohmygod is it REALLY that dark?! Damn this means I am really good at this, I am impressed myself. I have to see my work can u send a pic

[06:12AM] CL: Why am I dating you

[06:12AM] SEUNGRI: Because I give good hickeys, that s why *wink emoticon*

[06:12AM] CL: kill me pls

[06:12AM] CL: AND NO PICS REQUIRED THE WHOLE COUNTRY IT S ABOUT TO SEE IT ANYWAY JUST WATCH ME GET HUMILIATED WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD

[06:12AM] CL: WHO AM I KIDDIN I BET EVEN NASA CAN SEE IT FROM THE OUTER SPACE

[06:12AM] SEUNGRI: Fine, fine, calm down. No pics then. Cmon I m sure it s not that bad. Why not try a scarf then?

[06:12AM] CL: Wow you are a true genius. I’ll just show up in a tracksuit, sneakers AND A ING SCARF. A perfect fitness outfit for filming ON AN INSIDE FILM SET

[06:13AM] SEUNGRI: ur a fashion icon I bet u can pull that off, nobody will question you. It won t be the first weird thing u d wear anyway

[06:13AM] CL: HAHA NO. You are definitely not helping, you are only making matters worse by being your annoying self. I ll just figure something out. I ll see you later when I will also kill you. bye

[06:13AM] SEUNGRI: Babe I am sure it s gonna be alright. And so what if u have a love bite, people won t even probably look. Oh my god I just had a brilliant idea USE A DISTRACTION just wear one of those deep cleavage sports bras or something! Show more skin and I guarantee no man will look at any other part of your body! There you have it, you just took care of half of the audience!

[06:13AM] CL: Yeah that’s it, just e your girlfriend on national television, that’s how you solve a problem! I might as well just show up , let the full judging kick in, what’s a hickey next to

[06:13AM] SEUNGRI: Babe seriously now I was just kidding YOU CANNOT SHOW ANY CLEAVAGE LIKE EVER OK

[06:13AM] CL: GOOD BYE

[06:13AM] SEUNGRI: SERIOUSLY OK?! AND NOTHING TOO TIGHT EITHER. ALSO NO SHORTS

Chaerin, yet totally annoyed with her boyfriend’s stupidity, was thinking about one thing that Seungri said. The idiotic cleavage joke gave her an idea. She obviously wasn’t going to go show any skin, but she could do quite the exact opposite: cover as much as she could. Witch clothes.

CL peeked quickly at the clock and did a quick time calculation. The filming wasn’t set to begin before 7 AM, so she had enough time to conduct her plan. When she thought about what kind of sport garment could be appropriate enough to fit these crazy circumstances, suddenly, a clear image of Dara, wearing a very high turtle-neck sweatshirt popped into her head. Dara wore it for a pictorial with addidas, just last week. It was a high end fashion, yet sporty type of piece which could pass perfectly as just a stylish activewear jacket that a fashion-forward celebrity would totally wear. CL was saved.

She immediately asked the chauffeur to change directions, as they were about to have a quick stopover at Dara’s place where CL could snatch the sweatshirt that would save her reputation.

____________________________________________

 

We switch our focus to Dara’s bedroom herself, where the girl was soundly sleeping. Well, not so soundly after all, since inside her head the gears of her mind were spinning at full speed as she was traveling to the realms of intense dreaming. A specific dream to be exact, as you’ll soon recognize.

“I have no idea why I didn’t realize this earlier, but you are the most joyful and winsome person I must’ve met in my life. I swear, you can instantly cheer up anybody’s spirit.”

“Whaat?!? ME?! NOOO WAYYY. . .” Dara laughed it off and shook her head in disbelief.

“But I mean it!” The man insisted. “You are always so thoughtful with each and every employee or stuff member and you always manage to make people laugh and feel good. That’s why it’s so pleasant and easy for anybody to collaborate with you. I don’t know any person working in this building that would resist your hilarious personality, myself included.”

“ME?!? HILARIOUS?! No, no, no. . . You must be joking! These things you’re telling me are just too much! HA HA HA, REALLY NOW!!” Dara was dizzy and tired, but merrier than never. Her last energy resources were draining out rapidly, triggering at the same time another curious process, which made the girl perceive anything as being outrageously comical, hence the isterical laughter.

“No, I am serious! Look, I spend so much time in this damn building, right in this damn room, I often work so late at night that I don’t even get to go home for days at a time. So you can imagine: I hate this place, I am sick of it. But seriously, since you came in here, the whole room just brightened up. It literally looks more colorful, the atmosphere is so pleasant, and it feels warmer. Your simple presence changed the room completely to me. You have a special, jolly vibe that you bring along wherever you are going. You’re something special.” The man fondly smiled to her.

“HA HA! REALLY, STOP IT PWA PWA PWAAA!” Dara’s shrilled again, her reaction irrationally intensifying, as she was laughing her head off and holding on her stomach from so much pain.

“YOU ARE SO FUNNY!” her hysterical laughter eventually cooled down after a while and she now found herself staring at the person in front of her with an idiotic smile playing on her lips. As Dara was sitting absent-mindedly like that, she didn’t even realize how the man accompanying her started to lean forward, gradually inclining his head to the right. In a matter of seconds, her head instinctively tilted to the opposite direction, to match his. She could now sense his warm breaths getting closer and closer. It didn’t come as a surprise that right in the following moment, his lips touched and smoothed her owns. This sent chills down the girl's spine, while a lovely, warm feeling started flooding every part of her body. She shut her eyes and parted her lips, letting her partner fully in. She felt like her blood started rushing for the very first time, it felt like electricity travelled inside her veins. Her hands daringly reached out to him and embraced the back of his neck, driven by an urgent urge to push him as close as possible. She wanted it all, all of him, right in that moment.

*RING RING*

“Oh my god not now I am busy!” Dara mumbled through the kisses.

*RING RING*

“CAN T YOU TURN YOUR PHONE OFF I AM ENJOYING MYSELF OVER HERE” She violently pulled away and frowned with a mean expression, ready to beat somebody up.

*RING RING*

By the third ring, it was finally clear to Dara that the mysterious phone was actually ringing in real life, and only temporarily transferred itself into the alternative universe of her dream. Her brain eventually filtered the information it was receiving and our girl was now fully restored to her conscious state, fuming with anger if I may also add. She bolted upright in her bed and violently snatched her ringing phone from the nightstand, just before she started to madly scream at the person from the other line:

“HELL IS MADE FROM PEOPLE LIKE YOU!”

“Oh god, I sure have committed some sins, but don’t you think that’s kind of an overstatement?” Chaerin asked quizzically from the other side, confounded by Dara’s aggressive mood.

“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?!”

“It’s 6:40 to be exact, yes, I am familiar with the time. In fact, I am quite in a hurry because –“

“YOU INTERUPTED ME. YOU INTERUPTED MY SWEAT DREAM. I WAS HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE” Dara cut her off midsentence with some more screaming.

“Oh - I am sorry I woke you up then?”

“DAMN RIGHT YOU SHOULD BE SORRY. Now EXCUSE ME I’ll go back to sleep AND MAYBE just maybe I can take off from where I was left – “

“NO NO, wait a second, please! I am really sorry I called you so early in the morning but I need your help. I am going to record that fitness broadcast this morning and I need to ask you for that high turtle neck sweatshirt you wore last week for the addidas photo shooting. Do you remember what I’m talking about? Do you still have it?”

Dara took a second to process this wave of information, but was so preoccupied with her own problems that this newly presented issue didn’t capture much of her interest. However, she bluntly came with a simple answer, just to quickly get it over with and go back to her sweat dreams:

“Yes, I do have it. It’s right here in my dresser.”

“OH THIS IS GREAT THEN! Open up the door, I am downstairs right now, I’ll come up to take it.”

“Ok.”

The transaction was quickly and effectively completed, without any further question from neither of the sides. As soon as Dara closed the door after CL, she instantly run in her bedroom and plunked back into her bed, keeping her eyes forcefully shut, waiting for episode two of her romance series to drop.

*BEEP*

Only a few silent minutes managed to pass unbothered, before an earsplitting beep suddenly pierced through Dara’s ears, making her jump upright again already for the second time that morning.

It was of course Dara’s phone again, only this time the screen was lit up by a text message.

Ready to implode in hysteria, the girl instantly grabbed hold of her phone to read the message that ruined her chance of finding love.

[6:52AM] BOM: Did you know kangaroos have three s?!

Dara’s eyes glared over the letters on the screen once again, making sure her eyes were seeing the right information. Yes, she was indeed seeing well.

[6:52AM] BOM: How on earth is that even possible?! Can they be pregnant with three tiny kangaroos at once then?! hmmm

[6:52AM] DARA: Why. WHY. WHYYYYYY

[6:52AM] BOM: IKR?! IT S SO WEIRD. I thought I was the only one creped out by this. I just can’t stop thinking about it since Seunghyun bothered me with fun facts this night.

[6:52AM] DARA: WHY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[6:52AM] BOM: Oh

[6:52AM] BOM: What?

[6:53AM] DARA: WHY CAN T I EVER HAVE WHAT I WISH FOR. WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE HATE ME.

[6:53AM] BOM: ???

[6:53AM] DARA: I WAS SOUNDLY SLEEPING AND HAPPILY DREAMING WHEN CHAERIN CALLED AND BROKE HELL LOOSE WITH HER PERSISTENT RINGING

[6:53AM] DARA: AND NOW I WENT TO SLEEP AGAIN WITH HOPE THAT MAYBE JUST MAYBE THE MOMORY IS STILL FRESH AND I CAN CONTINUE MY SWEET DREAM FROM WHERE I HAVE LEFT IT AND THEN YOU

[6:53AM] DARA: YOUUUUUUUU

[6:53AM] DARA: YOUU CAME AND RUINED IT ALL

[6:53AM] DARA: WITH SOME STUPID ING KANGAROOS

[6:53AM] BOM: hey hey hey the kangaroos have absolutely no fault in this, do not drag them in it

[6:53AM] BOM: I am so sorry then, I just lost perception of time, I stayed up all night I guess. I only realize this now, I didn’t even know it was morning already. That stupid Seunghyun messed up my biological time completely I swear he just kept texting and texting and texting . . . He managed to scare the sleep away from me.

[6:53AM] DARA: Guess that makes two of us who cannot sleep UGH

[6:53AM] BOM: why the didn't you put your phone on silent tho

[6:53AM]DARA: ...

[6:53AM] BOM: BUT WAIT A SECOND! What dream were you talking about?! Is it THE dream?! YOU HAD IT AGAIN?!

[6:53AM] DARA: Yeah…

[6:54AM] BOM: WHAT

[6:54AM] BOM: HJKKHKLLGJLJLFD

[6:54AM] BOM: OH MY GOD YOU HAD IT AGAIN

[6:54AM] BOM: TELL ME, ANYTHING NEW?!?! ANY NEW CLUES?!

[6:54AM] DARA: Oh well, actually, yeah

[6:54AM] DARA: It was even longer this time

[6:54AM] DARA: And believe it or not… the kissing part was even better OH GOD IT WAS SOO GOOD

[6:54AM] BOM: AASDJSKHKSKsD

[6:54AM] BOM: PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU SAW HIS FACE THIS TIME

[6:54AM] DARA: NO I DID NOT TTTTTTT

[6:54AM] DARA: He talked a lot more this time, though. There were more details. He mentioned it again that he works for the company, but this time he also added that he often works at the HQ late at night

[6:54AM] DARA: And, well, he said some other sweet stuff too kkkkkk

[6:55AM] BOM: OH MY

[6:55AM] DARA: The thing is he said he works right in the room where we were. Too bad I can’t remember this room either

[6:55AM] DARA: I can’t believe I can’t remember anything properly

[6:55AM] DARA: MY STUPID, STUPID SELF! I SWEAR I AM NEVER DRINKING ANYTHING EVER AGAIN

[6:55AM] BOM: Don’t make promises you cannot keep

[6:55AM] BOM: Don’t worry. You HAVE TO eventually find him, right?

[6:55AM] BOM: You can start looking for people that work late nights in the building. There sure can’t be that many people who do this, right?! The possibilities have narrowed a lot now!

[6:55AM] DARA: Yeah I guess, so…

[6:55AM] BOM: OK NOW TELL ME MORE ABOUT WHAT YOU TALKED ABOUT

[6:55AM] DARA: It wasn’t much of a conversation, I told you I was just laughing like a lunatic, he did all the talking. So well, he said he works there and . . .

 

____________________________________________

 

Man, I am sweating like a pig. I am overheating in this damn sweatshirt, it’s so heavy, it covers everything. NO PROBLEM, IT’S GOOD THAT IT COVERS EVERYTHING, IT’S WHAT I NEED. Just bare the suffering a little longer, Chaerin, you can do it! UGH! Stupid show, stupid hickey, stupid boyfriend!

CL had been running and jumping and gasping for air, demonstrating and trying out various new fitness techniques. She had been carefully listening to the guest that was a professional nutritionist, talked about the latest diets trends and tried a bunch of healthy (also totally tasteless) recipes. All in all, this totally turned out to be a perfect show for your average fitness freak.

Chae finally got a chance to sit down and take some time off. The host and the rest of the guests, CL included, took a sit and were now all together in a circle, waiting to film the next and last segment of the show. Up next was a part that had an interview format, where everybody was going to casually sit and talk. The last theme that the show approached was related to body image, to the appearance, and so here came the role of the celebrity guest. Because what better examples can one find out there than the desirable, well-worked bodies of the countries’ most famous people.

The host was looking through her prompts, getting ready to start.

“Welcome back! In the last segment of our show we are going to talk about body image, the perfect standards and the real reasons behind why many of us actually seek to take up fitness and a healthy lifestyle. Because we all know we have all the reasons in the world to take care of ourselves, but unfortunately, it often happens that many of us only start to actually do it purely because we desire a better appearance. Nevertheless, as shallow as it seems, this is still a good enough reason to put people on the right track. Let’s begin then!”

The guest and audience gave an enthusiastic clap.

“So here we are, in a society that highly values appearance. Who else knows more about the pressure of looking pretty than the people whose job is to always look pretty? Of course we are talking about celebrities! Tell me, CL-shi, you are a fashion icon, an accomplished singer and a person whose face and body many people will inevitably associate with the ‘perfect look’. Is this a privilege or a burden?”

“Thank you for the compliments firstly!” Chaerin chuckled. “I’ll tell you this, it’s definitely a job, as you have already so well described it. I have to look my best, to perform the best, so it’s part of the job description! What I find to be the darkest side of it it’s the fact, as you also mentioned, that many people look up to me, to this image that I display. This means that on the other side I feel like I have the responsibility of reminding everybody that what they are seeing is far from perfect. There’s a lot of work that goes in my performances, in my image, in my body, of course, and all of this makes it to be a far cry from reality. CL is fun, she seems perfect, but me, Chaerin, I am just human. What I am saying here is, yes, go ahead and work out so you can be a better you, but never expect to meet the unreal standards of ”

“So well said, CL-shi!” The host and the rest of the guests from the set nodded in agreement.

“So, you do work out for your well-toned body, right?”

“Oh, yes, definitely! I need to watch what I eat, avoid excesses and I have to regularly hit the gym. I am sure I speak in the name of most celebrities when I say we have to work very hard for it! In fact, I can tell you this: the YG gym is almost always full! Besides this, dance practices are a lot of effort as well.”

“Ha, ha! You tell me this then, who among YG family do you think has the best body?”

Before CL could even think about an answer, a high-spirited person from the audience let out a piercing, loud scream:

“SEUNGRI OPA!”

What would usually only pass as an innocent adorable little gesture of love, coming from an overly-passionate fan, had on the contrary created an intense state of panic and vexation for CL. Upon hearing the name of her boyfriend, her mind irrationally decided to stop working and her heart started to beat faster, in panic.

The rest of the cast simply started laughing.

“Ha, ha! Look, we already got a suggestion! So what do you think about Seungri-shi’s body, CL-shi?”

Chaerin, believe it or not, started to instantly sweat even more, after she already had been sweating all morning. The stupid hickey already made her tense up right from the beggining but now this was the last drop. She started fidgeting, desperate to come up with a normal answer that wouldn’t raise any suspicion. Not like there was any rational reason for anybody to have any suspicions. Nobody knew about their relationship, not even their closest friends. This didn’t matter one bit for CL, who was already thinking about the wave of dating scandal articles that would certainly pop up next morning, once she would say anything even remotely hinting at any type of relationship she could be having with Seungri.

So Chaerin finally gathered her strength and did the only logical thing one could think of: she started to aggressively dis Seungri’s body, criticizing anything she could find about him and denying the possibility of her ever having any appreciative feelings towards him:

“HA HA SEUNGRI?! No way, he is the laziest person I know! He really doesn’t have a great body AT ALL. He may have had an attempt once, in his youth, when he used to have a trace of abs, but it’s all certainly gone now! And you know what is the worse!? The fact that he thinks of himself as being the best damn looking guy in the whole country! He would never shut up about his looks! When in fact, If I may say so, he has the worst body in YG!”

Taken aback by her own flow of mean words and realizing that it might come off as being a little too much, CL started to awkwardly chuckle in an attempt to lighten things up a little.

“Ha, ha! But it’s nice to see he has such passionate fans! Ha, ha!”

“Yes, fans will always regard their idol as their number one! But as you said, it’s nice to have a reality-check from time to time, like you so well just showed us right now! Ha, ha!” Thankfully, the host didn’t raise an eyebrow at CL’s rather curious outburst, so the show continued just as normal.

It was actually really welcomed for a celebrity to talk about another celebrity, as it was sure to raise the ratings. Such little funny stories just passed as a normal way of exaggerating facts for the TV, a well-known strategy everybody used in talk shows. As bad and uncomfortable as CL usually felt when she had to go to a show, this time around might have just ironically turned out to be her best, most entertaining appearance on TV yet.