How to destroy a date: Idiot Edition - Part I

YG Enterdatement

 

“If there is one thing in this world that I absolutely hate that would be packing stuff.” CL complained over the phone, buried in her room under clothes, cosmetics and other things. “I mean, sure, I love travelling, but having to pack and unpack the damn luggage before and after that it’s just horrible. “ She heedlessly picked up a random pair of socks from her bed and threw them in the opened suitcase. It was clear how much she liked doing this, given the fact that she paid much more attention to the trivial telephone conversation she was struggling to maintain with her boyfriend from the other end of the line.

“I’m sorry for you, babe. But that’s just how it works. If you travel, you’ll have to pack. And we sure have a lot of travelling to do.” Seungri stated, not making much of a difference for CL's bad mood.

“I know, I know, but it still . The only way I can enjoy doing this would’ve been if I was traveling with you towards a deserted tropical island or something. And even then I’d probably just leave with whatever it is I am wearing at that moment.  It’s hard to be fashionable you know? You always have to plan your outfits and organize your clothes. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I just didn’t care about this kind of stuff.” She found some other scattered socks and placed them neatly in the suitcase, along with the many carefully folded outfits.

“Ha ha! Don’t tell me you don’t enjoy shopping for expensive clothes and wearing the most fashionable items. You would’ve gone crazy if you weren't preocupied with this sort of stuff. You’re way too good at it, fashion is part of you now. Besides that, you look smoking hot in everything you'd wear. And you wouldn't need much clothes with me on that warm island you were talking about.”

Chaerin could feel the playful smirk forming on Seungri’s lips at that moment, causing her to widely smile as well.

“You’re such a player, tsch. I get how good at smooth talking you are, but did you also remember what I talked about with you earlier? I hope you bought the stuff I asked you about because I have absolutely no time to go fetch them myself, and I really need them for the trip.”

“Of course I did, they are all packed in the car, just going to pass later on and drop them, when I finish here, at the HQ. But I still can’t understand why you need so much hand cream, for real now.” Seungri was slightly amused, thinking about it. His girlfriend needed a couple of different travel goods and the boy offered to get them for her, which gave him a slight idea of how complicated it is for most girls to pack their luggage properly. 

“Ugh, don’t you know how dried one’s hands can get in the airplane? Just think a little, please . . .” CL replied with the most obvious explication ever.

“But it’s only a 2 hours flight till Japan. And what about all that hairspray? There are like 4 full bottles.  You’ll come back in like 3 days and you won’t even have to style your hair yourself there. It’s just a photo shoot, so the stylist will do it for you at all times.”

“Whoa, you talk so much, my head hurts. Just stop asking so many questions. I won’t use them all at once, have you ever thought about that? But I do need most of them to pack in my luggage now, because I ran out of many such little travel supplies. Anyway, thank you very much for getting them for me. I really appreciate it.”

“Any time, baby. I’ll see you later. Go on and finish packing.”

“I will, my y panda, thanks! Bye bye!”

CL barely ended the phone call, when her cell rang yet again, right in her left ear, causing her to startle in surprise. She answered instantly:

“Seungri! What is it? My gosh, you little dumb man, you scared me! What did you forget?”

After a brief moment of silence, a rather shy voice, which was taken by surprise by the prompt reply, answered hesitantly with another question:

“Chaerin unnie? Here is Minzy . . . I am sorry if I am interrupting something?”

“Minzy?! OH MY GOD, Minzy darling! My dear, I am sorry, I just thought it was . . . And noo way, I wasn’t doing anything, just packing my luggage and, uhm . . . yeah, Seungri, he keeps bothering me, you know? He is super annoying, as always . . .”

Minzy took yet another brief moment to puzzle out CL’s words, her short silence being packed with suspicion and concern. She eventually said:

“Unnie, I noticed that a lot lately, is he really a problem for you? I am a bit worried, I mean, I know he is just a cocky and over self-confident guy, but if he is giving you such a hard time we could do something about it – “

“NO NO NO! Nothing like that! Ha ha! He’s just playing around, don’t worry! Anyway, what’s my favorite maknae up to?”

“Well, nothing special, just wanted to check on my unnie and maybe help her with the impossible mission of having to pack her suitcase. I know how much you hate that. Do you still need the stuff you asked earlier for? All the cosmetics and cream you need for the trip? I know you ran off some things, I can get them for you if you still – “

“That’s so kind of you, but no, thank you. I solved that problem, don’t worry. Thanks sweetie.”

“Sure, anything for my loving unnie. Can I help you with anything else?”

“No, nothing you can do. I just need to stop procrastinating and actually finish packing. Gotta do it myself, unfortunately.”

“Good luck, then! Have a nice trip to Japan and an easy photo-shoot!”

“Thank you, Minkki. Bye- bye!

 

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T.O.P was subtly sneaking on his tip-toes in the room where Seungri’s just finished his phone conversation. He reached out to the maknae’s back and gently tapped it, like he was a prehistoric cave man who saw a civilized man for the first time.

Seungri was struck with an eerie feeling as soon as he was touched by the crawly hand. This instantly sent shivers down his spine, making him yelp and turn around, nearly dropping his cell.

“HOLLY YG PAPA ON A BED OF ROSES! WHAT THE HECK MAN?!?”

“SHhhhhhh” Seunghyun had a rather stooped posture, looking like an old little scared man. He held a finger to the boy’s lips to shut him up. “Stop yelling. I have a secret mission for you.”

“A secret what?! You never cease to amaze me! Are you on drugs on something? I NEARLY DROPPED MY PHONE. This would've been the third damn time replacing my phone this month! I ain’t buying another one again! Not after Daesung stole the last one! You people are all against my mental sanity, I swear.”

“Stop whining, you call that a problem? I have a serious issue right now.” T.O.P bent over a little closer to the clueless maknae, acting like his usual weird as self. He articulated every word, whispering them into his ear: “I need an urgent lift. You have a car. You’re gonna help.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa man. I don’t know what dirty business you got yourself in, but don’t drag me in as well. I wasn't serious about the drugs, but it looks like it is actually true. I don’t even want to know, don’t tell me anything. If the mafia comes and tortures me, I won’t say a word, so they will never catch you – “

Seunghyun bluntly gave his friend a smack on the back of his head.

“Seungri, what the heck?! Snap out of it, idiot! It’s not even close to what your retarted mind is making up. I have to go to a meeting tonight and the agency chauffer I have talked to about it announced me just now that he can’t make it, because of some personal last-minute emergency. I have to be there by 8PM, it’s already 7 and there are no other chauffeurs available, cause it’s obviously way pass their working hours. Soo, I am here to kindly ask you to do me this little favor, you are the only one I could find that can help me right now. ”

“Wow, ok, I got it now . . .” Seungri bit his lip in anxiety, thinking how he promised Chaerin to leave her the stuff tonight, but he couldn’t just refuse a friend in need. He looked at his desperate looking hyung and, convinced by his puppy-dog eyes, eventually accepted.  “OK hyung, I can give you a lift, it shouldn’t take long, right? You said it’s a restaurant, what is the address – “

“THANK YOU SO MUCH! I’ll tell you the address in the car! Let’s go already!”

 

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Seungri was dragged to his car in the parking lot in like 2 miliseconds, while T.O.P already teleported in the passenger seat, right next to him, waiting for the panda boy to start the vehicle.

The maknae eventually turned the key in the ignition and the Porsche’s engine roared instantly.

“So . . . where are we heading to?” he asked his impatient hyung.

“Sinchon district, Guldari Street, No.  19.”

“All right. Just let me turn on the GPS system so we can drive off . . . Wait a second! Guldari Street? This sounds so familiar . . .” Seungri’s expression was instantly enlightened when his ‘brilliant’ mind eventually linked the street’s name to a well-known destination he frequently visited, mostly at night. “I think I know this address! It’s that awesome exclusive night club, Myeongseong, right?! Oh god, I love that bar, best celebrity hideaway in the whole city!”

“Celebrity what? Night club?” Seunghyun wasn’t even paying attention. “I never heard of that. All I know is that it’s a restaurant and that I need to be there by 8. So would please just drive us there?”

“Oh, yeah, sure, right away. But I can swear it's the same street.”

 

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Right in front of that specific address, Bommie and her date were now starting their fantastic evening. Ji Seok was gentlemanly enough to have picked her up, as it is properly done. He carefully took care in the same manner of all the other little details for the rest of the night. He was now escorting the girl to the entrance of a little, family-like restaurant which was located on the same street as his night club, more exactly, right next door. They opened the almost undetectable, shadowy, old door and came across a flight of stairs, leading to what it appeared to be a basement. The pair went downstairs only to find a cozy, welcoming, dimly illumined room, a small underbuilding structure, redesigned and decorated as a rustic family-restaurant. The room had about 8 little tables dispersed around the place, each of them covered with a hand-made plaid tablecloth, on top of which a proud vase with fresh flowers lain.

Bom was taken aback by the folksy beauty of the place. She couldn’t stop looking around, examining every corner of the rather simple room.

“This place looks absolutely amazing! I would have never known such a lovely, intimate little restaurant was hidden between all the bustling night clubs and bars from this area!”

“Well, only a few people know about it actually. It is a pretty special place, for a special occasion.” Ji Seok broadly smiled.

“Hehe, I bet it is! But why is it that it appears to be so empty? I mean, this place is completely deserted. We can’t be the only customers, this restaurant is way too pretty.”

“Well, this isn’t really the usual atmosphere around here. The thing is that, to tell you the truth, the owner is an acquaintance of mine and allowed me to kinda rent the whole place for tonight.”

Bom was yet again left utterly impressed by this men's words, who was now charmingly smiling at her.

“Are you kidding me!? You are completely crazy! This must be the nicest thing anyone ever organized for me!”

“My pleasure. I am just glad I can spend some time in your lovely company, in such a splendid place. Moreover, I must be very careful with choosing such locations. You can’t just go around and dine out wherever you wish. We can't forget you are such a well-known and loved celebrity . . .”

“Oh, trust me, I can never forget it, even if I’d want to. Kkk . . .”

As the pair was casually chatting and giggling, out of the blue, without Bom acknowledging it, the silhouette of a kind-looking, sweet, serene old man materialized right behind their backs.  His soft, gruff voice lazily dispersed through the warm evening air:

“Welcome to my humble lair! I am extremely happy you like it! May I take care of your coat, sweetie?”

Bommie was taken by surprise by the sudden appearance of this warmhearted elderly man who spoke so gentle, almost whispering. It took her a few moments to actually realize he was really physically in front of her eyes and not some sort of a cliché-character from a fairytale.

“I am so sorry, my dear, I must have startled you. I haven’t even introduced myself. I am Kim Ho-Joon, or, much more preferable, Uncle Kim, as everybody calls me. I have been the proud warden of this little, modest place ever since I know myself and because of Ji Sook-shi’s kindness, I still am today. He helped me to keep this little place running when I had to face the fierce completion of the modern, more popular bars and clubs.” Uncle Kim explained and smiled meekly to the young man.

“Ahjussi, it would’ve been absolutely tragic to lose this piece of heaven. Not to mention the restaurant is your home as well.”

“This restaurant really is my life”

The passion and devotion outlined by this old man’s voice triggered a warm stream of happiness inside Bom’s heart, which floated all the way to her lips, forming into a radiant smile. She spoke:

“Ahjussi, this place is truly beautiful, it’s such a relief someone as dedicated as you takes care of it.”

“Thank you, darling. I am lucky to have such lovely guests! Here, let me take your coat and show you to your table.”

 

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“Prepare to turn right at the first intersection, in 300 meters” The GPS lady’s voice broke the silence.

Seungri was obediently listening to her directions and from time to time would even check the screen to see the map, but in fact he kind of knew pretty well where they were heading. T.O.P on the other hand, was as impatient as a 9 year old child, annoyed by the length of the trip and the boring atmosphere.

“Turn right at the first intersection in 100 meters”

“Ughhhhh, is it really necessary to repeat every single sentence 3 or 4 times before you actually need to do it???”

“It’s just how the GPS works . . . nothing much I can do.”

“Turn right at the first intersection and then drive ahead for 2 km”

 Seungri turned right and kept silently driving. T.O.P checked the hour and sighed:

“How much longer is it going to take? I need to be there by – “

“By 8 o’clock, I know, I know. You repeated that several times, just like the GPS lady. Only that she is so much less annoying than you.”

“Fine, fine, just keep on driving and hurry up if possible.”

Seunghyun cleared his throat and smacked his lips a couple times, with a fixed gaze.

“Gosh, I’m so thirsty, my mouth is sooo dry. Do you have any water around here?”  He started to look around the car right away, mindlessly searching for anything to cease his thirst. He then instinctively turned around and checked the backseat, where 3 considerably massive shopping bags were lying.

“What’s up with these? You went shopping? Maybe you bought something to drink as well, right?”

 Seungri didn’t even realize what his fellow friend was doing. He was just concentrating on the road and on his thoughts, not bothering to react at all.

In the meantime, Seunghyun reached out for the bags, grabbed a random one and started rummaging through it:

“GOD this is heavy! What do you have in here?  . . .” He pulled out a small, pink, shiny container with the inscription ‘Hydrating hand lotion’ printed on the package. “What the heck!?! Hand cream? That’s weird . . .” He shoves his hand in the bag again and grabs another similar bottle, examining the label: “Strawberry cream cupcake protective balm. Wow, ok?” He had an amused look on his face when he turned to Seungri and asked: “So, is this good? Would you recommend it? Or did you just buy it for the flavour? I always wanted to know if this brand it’s worth it.”

In exactly the next moment, the car was filled with boisterous, raucous howls of laughter, coming from T.O.P’s side, where the poor guy was continuously leaning back and forth, holding his stomach. Only then did Seungri understand what his friend was doing, but it was already too late.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHEN DID YOU GET THAT? PUT IT BACK IMMEDIATELY”

“ HA HA HAH HAHAA . . . STRAWBERRY FLAVOUR HA HA . . .”

“DID YOU HEAR ME? LEAVE THAT, GIVE IT TO ME NOW!” The panicked panda tried to snatch the lotions from the laughing-hyena that was in the passenger seat, right next to him, but he couldn’t reach too far from the steering wheel, nor could he look in other directions for long periods. And apart from that, Seunghyun was always keeping the two containers out of his reach, while laughing hysterically.

“OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS HA HA HA . . . FREAKING HYDRATATING LOTION HA HA”

Seungri tried stretching back and forth a couple more times, unfortunately to no avail and eventually dropped it out. He went back to fully concentrating on the road,  waiting for another round of mocking rethoric questions.

T.O.P calmed down in the end and wiped the little tear that formed in the left corner of his eye. He rifled through the stuff in the bag again, surprised and amused by every discovery:

“Extra-hold hairspray, Aloe-Vera face mask, renewing cleansing oil and mango lip butter. Man, you sure know how to take care of yourself.  HA HA HA! What the actual freak are you doing with all of these?”

“Ugh, don’t you know how dried one’s hands can get in the airplane?” Seungri rolled his eyes while holding the stirring wheel firmly.

T.O.P stared at him for a moment and blinked a couple of times in confusion.

“Uhm, actually, I really didn’t know.”

“Gahg, I was kidding man! Ha, ha! But seriously now, they are not for my personal use. I’m just dropping them off later.”

“Who do they belong to then? And why on earth does this person need them in such a colossal quantity?”

“Oh, well . . . you see . . . they are for . . . my, uhm . . . SISTER! Yeah, she needs them for some of her friends too, I think. What do I know man? Girls' stuff, right? Ha ha . . .” The boy scratched the back of his neck with one hand and peaked quickly at his friend with suspicion.

“Well, if that is the case, I should just put them back, right? Very nice of you, by the way. Such a dedicated brother.”

“In 100 meters prepare to turn left” The only feminine ‘presence’ from the vehicle had spoken again, after a short break.

“Just when I thought you forgot about us, lovely GPS lady. By the way, I actually forgot something, my thirst! Please tell me you have some water somewhere around here before I come across other strawberry short cake labeled stuff.”

“It was strawberry cream cupcake, please. And there should be a bottle of water in your door’s pocket, just slide a hand alongside your chair.”

“Yeah, you’re right, thanks. I really hope we get there soon, I am already bored.”

“We will.”

 

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- 5 minutes and 1 km later -

“I told you I know this place! This is exactly the same street! I was so sure about it.” Seungri pointed out as they drove by the ‘Guldari Street’ sign. “It’s right over there, no. 19, here we are. And look! Exactly next to it it’s Myeongseong, that club I was tellin you about? Man, I wonder if it’s open tonight. I can do some partying.”

Seunghyun looked around through his window and examined the surroundings.  He glanced at the posh, futuristically illuminated facade that was sure to catch any passersby’ attention and it then struck him.  He realized that not only did he recognized the club, but he also knew the ignoble owner of it as well.  T.O.P frowned and averted his gaze to the next building, which was an old, slightly decayed, but pretty well kept tiny hut, lost between the colossal, modern construction. Its only entrance was an inconspicuous little door with the numbers 19 displayed on 2 ceramic plates on the wall next to it. Seunghyun opened the car's door and got out of the Porsche. He went directly to Seungri’s window and knocked in the glass until the confused maknae eventually pressed the power window button.

“Yes?”

“I’m going inside.” He pointed at the old, little door of the restaurant. “I have to do something, you just wait for me here.”

“Wait here? What? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY . . . ?! YAAAH I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOUR STUPID TO RETURN! I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH IT WILL TAKE YOU TO FINISH YOUR DAMN BUSSINES! I HAVE A LIFE TOO, YA KNOW!? YOU CAN’T JUST – “

But T.O.P already rushed inside the hut, leaving his friend to holler alone from his car.

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Comments

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Fr0zenMus1c #1
Chapter 25: Whoah! Everything is so freaking messed up T^T Please continue this story, authornim..
daragon_vip #2
Chapter 25: I hope Ji and Dara relationship will start blooming soon ^^
More daragon moment please authornim!!!!
Topspring #3
Chapter 25: I cant stop smiling with topbom moment...theyre weird and adorable, alien couple indeed kkkk


More topbom moment please...
ILovePikachu2
#4
Chapter 24: Pls pls pls make Dara realise that the person she has been looking for is Jiyong!!! I thought the kiss would make her realise but I don’t think that’s the case

TOPBOM is so adorable!

More DaraGon and TOPBOM please
tha_beib #5
Chapter 24: Top to the rescue!!!!
Poor Bom T.T
daragon_vip #6
Chapter 24: Omg more daragon moment pls!!!
naru___
#7
Chapter 23: Can't stop laughing when read the daragon part, hahaha. . . Also the last scene of Minzy got fooled by her leader, can't help it. I hope the next chapter got funnier than this ;-)
RolDeej #8
Chapter 23: Hmmmm....I love Dara but Dara in this story is a pest....not sure how I feel about the latest chapter.... Hope you update soon, Authornim!
rovien_21
#9
Chapter 22: kyaaaahhh.. cant wait to ur nxt update authornim.. fighting..
RolDeej #10
Chapter 22: More DaraGon interactions juseyo! Thanks Authornim, hope you’ll update soon.