Do You Remember Me? (Heechul&&YOU)
SUPER JUNiOR&&YOU; [ ONE SHOTS ]
.o0o.
Title: Do You Remember Me?
Author: Natalie1093
Characters: Kim Heechul&&YOU
.o0o.
“I’m sorry..”
“I didn’t mean anything bad to happen to you..”
“It’s been years..but I still feel the same..”
“But I can’t tell you that I love you..”
“I don’t have the right to..”
“For what I did..”
“And for what I caused..”
“I’m sorry..”
“You..”
“Do you still remember me?”
.o0o.
[07/09/09]
“Heechul hyung!” I turn my head to find the other members of Super Junior at the back of the bus playing cards, the others like Kyuhyun, had their eyes glued on his PSP, Kibum who had his hat on which meant that he was asleep. I turned my eyes to settle my view on my only hyung, the oldest, Leeteuk who celebrated his birthday a few days ago, yes, we got drunk. I watched as Leeteuk played with our dongseangs and he motions me to join them, I shook my head and turned to watch through the window bus. Now, it was my turn to turn 26, this time for the first time in a long time, I’m going home. As I watched the trees go by, memories of my life before fame came into mind.
[ Flashback ]
“Happy Birthday Girly!” I turn my head, annoyance written all over my head as I see a pretty girl walking down the stairs towards me, hiding something behind her back as she smirks.
“Park _____ah! How many times to I have to tell you not to call me that?” I reprimanded her, gosh, this woman..She’ll be the death of me someday, I swear. She sat next to me on the piano seat; she smiles at me which was really rare thing to see since she had a cold yet with a speck of warm personality. I really treasured that about her.
“I have something for you.” She said as she waves a long piece of paper in front of me. I was about to take it when she moved her hand backward, indicating that she had no plan to give it to me yet.
“Yah! It’s MY birthday today and you ask me to meet you here at YOUR house and to sit before YOUR piano.” I said pouting and mumbling under my breath, crossing my arms. She laughs at me and opens the piece of paper and places it on the piano. As she does this, I watched her memorizing every detail of her. Omona..She really is beautiful, but most people say I’m the pretty one and trust me, I don’t like it. I look at her, as she positions her fingers on the keys.
I look down at her fingers as she starts to play. I have never heard her play this song, I watched her fingers, she made no flaw, and it was as if she had memorized this for so long. I looked up at her, she wasn’t looking at the paper where the notes were written nor did she look at the keys. She just looked straight ahead, with a gentle smile on her face. I looked at her, I couldn’t take off my eyes off her, I can say at this moment, in my 16 year old life, and this might be the best birthday ever.
Suddenly, she stops playing. My heart sank but then she looked at me and smiled then from sinking, my heart soar. She takes the piece of paper and folds it and she gives it to me. I looked at her then at the piece of paper. She motions me to take the paper and I did.
“Heechul ah, I’m sorry for the crappy present, I couldn’t give you anything good right now.” She said, putting an apologetic smile on. As I was going to tell her that she gave the exact opposite she stood up and went inside the kitchen, probably getting some drinks since she knew I came here before she even woke up. I look at the piece of paper; I opened it and took a look at the title.
“Remember”
That was the title. I don’t know why it was the title, I left it be. I examined the paper, I noticed how many times it was opened and folded, this was probably the only copy she had and she decided to give it to me, my cheeks flushed. I looked around; ____ was still inside the kitchen. I placed the paper on the piano and positioned my fingers on the keys and I tried to play the song, I concentrated on my fingers, then I looked up at the paper, I kept making mistakes it was so frustrating.
I tried to play it again, until I felt something over my hands, it was pair of small, pale hands over mine. Those hands helped me play the song; it guided me in playing the song. I didn’t need to look up to see who it was. I knew it was her.
As the song came to an end, she hugged me. I tensed up and relaxed again. I leaned against her as I was still seated and she was hugging me from behind while she still stood. I turned around to face her, she placed her hands on my cheeks and smiled.
“Happy 16th Birthday Kim Heechul.” She whispered and placed a kiss on my forehead. She takes off her lips from my forehead and placed her forehead against mine. We stayed like that for who knows how long.
[End of Flashback]
“Hyung!” I broke away from my thoughts and saw a happy and excited Eunhyuk coming towards me, wobbling as the bus was moving. Finally, he reached my seat and plopped next to me.
“Hyung, aren’t you excited to come back home?” Eunhyuk asked. I pushed my past thoughts away.
“Ahh, the thought of coming home is nice, but the thought of aging is scary. My face went from a V shape into a U. Eunhyuk ah, I’m expiring.” I said touching my face.
“Teukie Hyung! Heechul Hyung is worried about aging again!” Eunhyuk yelled over to Leeteuk Hyung who sat next to Kyuhyun. Everyone immediately went from the back of the bus to the center of the bus, where I and Eunhyuk were seated. I swear if I were seated at the front and if everyone came rushing in from the back to the front, the sudden change of balance might get us into an accident, plus since Kangin gain weight, it’s a good thing we’re at the center. Ahh.. Kangin should lose some weight, his wife took good care of him and I mean his wife from “WGM” just so you know. None of us are married, yet.
“Yah! What are you guys doing?!” I exclaimed as the members took seats near mine.
“Hyung, don’t be sad, we still love you even though your old.” Donghae said. I knew he meant well, but I couldn’t help but yell.
“Yah! I’m only going to be 26! Not 60!” I yelled. Donghae made an “eep” sound. I sighed and patted his head.
“But thanks anyway.”I said. After all, he really did mean well.
“Heechul ah, you know we’re born on the same year. We’re still young.” Our Leader, My only hyung in the group, Leeteuk who celebrated his birthday a few days ago said.
“Hyung, your personality can deal with getting old, mine can’t” I argued back. All of the members nodded in agreement.
“Hyungs since you two are 26 now. You guys should start finding a wife.” Kangin said.
“Ahh..I should, shouldn’t I?” Leeteuk said. I looked straight at him, knowing that he left the one girl he wanted to be with for fame.
“Heechul hyung, you should get a girlfriend. So you’d stop kissing us.” Sungmin said laughing. I yelled again.
“Yah! I already said I was sorry!” He laughed along with the other members. Suddenly a familiar song played on the radio.
“Uwaa~ C’mon Hyungs !” Kyuhyun said as he sang his part of our latest song “It’s You” .
And for the ride, we went along with it with smiles, jokes and singing along the radio. But at the back of my mind, I wondered if she’d still be the same and if she’s living well.
“_____ah, I miss you.” I thought.
.o0o.
In a few hours we arrived at our destination, Hoengseong, Gangwon. It was still July 9th and it was dark. We walked down the street, with only backpacks behind our backs since we shipped our stuff at my house a few days ago. We expected the town to be fast asleep.
How wrong we were…
“Heechul ah!!” Me and my members turn our heads away from the overwhelming sight of adults with their children, teenagers even the elders wide and awake, surrounding them were stands for food and games and bright lights. We saw my mother running towards me, my father close by and my sister walking towards me.
Aha! I should’ve known that my mother told everyone in town that I’d be coming home with Super Junior. Ahhh..this woman, she has a big mouth but I love her anyways. As my mother chokes me with her loving hug, my father pats my back and my sister gives me a kiss on the cheek knowing she and my mother are the only ones that can get away with kissing me.
The Members greet my parents and my sister. Fans from my hometown immediately crowded us, and asked for our autographs, taking pictures and greeting me a happy birthday. We didn’t mind, we love our fans, our job but there was always a price to pay for it. For Leeteuk, it was leaving the only girl he loved to have it. And I had someone else to pay for it. It wasn’t fair.
Now, since the elders, adults and teenage got their turn, it was the kids turn. To tell you the truth, I’m a bit afraid of kids, bur when I was doing “Good Daddy”, my fear has lessened. But, I took care of only one kid. Now, kids were all over me, since I came from here and it was birthday, they were asking me questions, I couldn’t answer since they were throwing it at me like eggs. Ah. I’ll never take care of kids, they’re scary. But she likes kids.
Suddenly, the crowd of children suddenly ran off us, probably to play. But instead, I thought of the wrong reason. There in front of my eyes, was her. I and my members looked at the scene. Children running up to her, she smiles at pats each of their head.
“Ah, she seems more popular with the kids over here than us.” Leeteuk joked.
“Uwaa~ She’s really pretty.” Kangin said.
“And Hot.” Kibum added. I looked at them, jealousy threatens to come out, but I just remembered, I don’t have to right to be jealous. I calmed myself down and decided to scan around the area. I noticed that Sungmin was at the pizza booth, spinning pizza dough; Eunhyuk was looking around for food with Shindong with Donghae behind them watching Kyuhyun playing STILL with his PSP. Yesung and Ryeowook at the Kareoke booth where they probably got dragged there by fans, I wouldn’t blame them, they’re awesome. Hankyung and Siwon were with us, but were busy taking pictures with everyone.
As I looked at her talking to the children, the member’s words, I couldn’t hear them. For my eyes from her head when to her right ankle, after all these years, after what happened to her, after what I caused, she still had it, the bracelet I gave to her.
[Flashback]
Today was my 19th birthday. Ahh.. I can feel the effects of aging catching up to me. This birthday was supposed to top last years. But noo…something had to come up. Stupid Flu. I scratch my head and kick the trash can in my room and went out of my room. It was already night time, my birthday was almost ending. Ah. After my 16th birthday, every year for my birthday, I’d go to her house and listen to her play the song she wrote for me and she’d give me a kiss on the forehead. Yes, we never kissed on the lips. We’re innocent.
I walked through the hallway that was leading to our family room. I decided if she couldn’t play for me since she got the flu. I’ll play it for myself. I was about to enter the family room when I heard someone press a key from our piano. A bugler! I grabbed my sister’s Hello Kitty umbrella and prepared myself to smack that bugler silly. As I entered the living room, I was surprised, I put down my sister’s Hello Kitty umbrella, and I didn’t expect to see what was in front of me.
In front of me was her, sitting in front of the piano, paler than she was , cheeks flushed, her hair tied in a half ponytail. She wore her night gown and put on a pink blanket, her blanket was thin, how was that supposed to keep her warm?
As I looked at her, she didn’t bother to turn to me; she knew I was there, the moon light hit the exact spot where she and the piano was. Odd… I ignored that and I asked myself how did she get in my house when all the doors were locked? I look down on the floor; I saw leaves on the floor, and a few petals. Ah, she went through the garden and used the copy of garden door to get inside the house. I looked at her again, she positioned her fingers on the keys and looked straight ahead and started to play MY song.
As I watched her play my song, I went near her, careful not to make a sound. At last, when she finished playing I had already reached standing behind her. She turns around, still seated, she looked up at me. Looking at her closely, I can see how sick she was. I instinctively kneeled down; she looked down at me, curiosity evident on her face. I took her hand from her lap and took something from my pocket, which I was holding on from how many weeks now. She eyes grew wide and she begins to shake her head, I ignore her and placed the bracelet around her wrist. I placed her hand on her lap and let go. She dropped her hand to the side and the bracelet fell.
We looked down on the floor, I looked at her and she looked at me, we looked down at the bracelet. I picked up the bracelet, apparently it was too big for her wrist, I looked down and caught sight of her ankle, and I looked at the bracelet again. I took her feet and placed it on my lap. She furrowed her eyebrows, trying to figure out what I was doing. I placed the bracelet around her ankle and placed her feet back next to her other one.
“Hmm, what do you know, it fits.” ____ said. As she lifted her right leg slightly and smiles.
“Heechul ah, are you sure this is a bracelet? Maybe you don’t know the difference of a bracelet and an anklet” She joked. I looked up at her, amusement written on my face.
“Yeah and apparently, you’re skinnier than I thought.” I said showing her my smirk. She smiles at me, she puts down her leg and leaned onto me, she placed her hands on my cheeks; I took note on how hot her hands were, probably from the fever she has. She placed a kiss on my forehead, like always. She broke away and placed her forehead on mine, our eyes closed, we stayed like that for what seemed like forever.
“Happy Birthday Heechul.” She whispered.
[End of Flashback]
“Heechul!” I finally came back to my senses as I heard my mother’s voice. I looked at her ankle again, but she wasn’t there anymore. I looked up and saw my mother coming towards me and the others, she was holding onto something or particularly, on someone. I looked at my mother’s arm and my eyes followed to the hand she was holding on to, my eyes widened as I looked at the hand my mother was holding. I didn’t have to look at the person to see who it was. Why did my mother have to do this? Does she know what I did to her? I couldn’t escape since the members were all around me and if I make a run for it, surely they’d stop me and won’t let me go unless I tell them what’s wrong. Obviously, I didn’t tell all of them. Aishh..This means I have to face her.
All of a sudden, my heart went through the roof, my hands began to sweat, and the cold night air didn’t seem to affect me since I started to sweat. Aigoo~ they’re coming closer. Thoughts of escaping rush through my mind, all stupid and idiotic attempts that won’t even work. I tried to calm myself. Suddenly, as if I didn’t notice, ____ and my mother were in front of me.
“______ah, do you remember my son, Heechul?” My mother asked her. My members who were with me were now silent, curious of why my mother was asking this girl in front of me if she remembered me. She looked at me with those piercing black eyes of hers; I could hear my own heart beat. The way she looked at me, the way her eyes pierced through me and drew me to her. She still had me, of this I am sure of.
“I’m sorry, I still don’t remember anything, Mrs. Kim. “ She said as she looked at me apologetically then at my mother. She looked at me again, trying desperately to remember me, to remember anything. But after a few seconds she gave up and apologized again. My mother sighed and patted the back of her hand.
“It’s okay dear; I thought that if you saw Heechul again, you’d remember.” My mother said as she still held onto her hand and smiled sadly. The members kept quiet, some went to look for the others to avoid the situation, and others were behind me, trying to find something distracting. I looked at her, trying my best to assure her that it was okay. When deep inside, I knew it wasn’t. Because of me, she had to suffer like this. The price for MY fame was HER memory. It wasn’t fair.
Suddenly she looked at me, eyebrows furrowed and she went closer to me, she looked at me intently. Suddenly her eyes widened and stepped away from me. I, my mother and the other members looked at her surprised. She turned around, not saying a word. My heart sank, even though she might not remember me, she might I have sensed that I am a danger to her. She had to stay away, she just had to. But still, I wished it didn’t have to be this way.
“Ahem.” I turned around to face the stage that the town’s people prepared. My mother stood beside me, the members that were with me, behind me. The other members that were scattered to the various booths and games and the towns people also looked at the stage.
There she was, holding the microphone, with a piano beside her. I looked at her, examined her again, she looked lost and scared and she might not have even thought this through but kept strong.
“Everyone, I noticed almost everyone has a gift for the birthday boy.” She said into the microphone while pointing at the tables full of gifts.
“Ah. It seems like I’m the only one who doesn’t have a gift.” She said. She looks down and looks up again, she still didn’t like talking in front of crowds.
“So, I want to give my gift to him. I don’t know what, but I’m sure it’ll be good enough, I think.” She said. She places the microphone on its stand and went to the piano. I heard she didn’t forget the basic skills and more importantly, she didn’t forget to play the piano; she became a piano teacher because of that. But she never played “Remember” since I wasn’t there to let her play it. I looked at her as she hesitantly places her fingers on the keys.
She looks down on her fingers, not knowing to play. She looked at me, and pressed one key. One note was all she needed, she tears her eyes away from me and looked straight ahead and started to play. I listen to the song she played.
“This song, it couldn’t be. “ I said to myself as my mother and members continue to look at her playing. My hand dived inside my right pocket as it searched for something. At last, I took a piece of paper out. It was old and has been opened and folded so many times. I opened it and looked at it. I looked at the title “Remember” and I looked at the notes, matching them with the song she was playing. My eyes widened, I couldn’t believe it. She was playing, “Remember”, the song she wrote for me, and the song she played for me from my 16th to my 19th birthday. She remembers “Remember” and she doesn’t even realize it. She was playing the song that the two of us kept a secret for so long. She was playing MY song.
I felt as if tears were going to fall. I looked at her, playing MY song. I looked at her looking straight ahead, as she played, like always she never made a mistake. I looked at her blank expression. But her eyes gave away, confusion. She didn’t understand why she was playing that song. She didn’t know how important it was for us. This was going against my pride to cry. I can’t cry. I refuse to cry. My head swirled of sweet memories, until the one memory I’d like to forget came back to haunt me.
[Flashback]
[October 2002, 10:10 pm]
“_____ah!!” I screamed as I ran towards her. When I reached her, I kneeled to the ground and took her lying body in my arms from the cold ground. The driver of the car panicked and made a run for it, not bothering to stop to help the girl he just ran over. My friends were behind me calling the ambulance.
“____ah, wake up. Don’t leave me. _____ah, can you hear me? It’s me, Heechul. ____ah, stay awake okay? “ I kept saying as I shake her a bit and shake her cheek lightly to keep her awake. I brush off the strands of hair on her face to the side of her head, I looked at my hands, it had blood on it. HER blood. I hold her close, whispering and begging her not to fall asleep, to stay awake. I felt her arms wrap around my neck, I knew she was in pain as he let a groan as her arms were around me.
“Heechul ah, please don’t leave me.” She whispered in my ear. I held her closer, afraid that if I let her go, she’ll die.
“Sshhh..It’s gonna be alright. Just stay awake for me, okay? Don’t fall asleep.” I whispered back.
“Don’t leave me.” She whispered again, her voice getting softer. I nodded, this was the only time she asked me to stay, for the past months, and she knew I was planning to come to Seoul to audition, but her personality won’t let her. Ahh.. she just had to think of MY happiness.
If only she told me to stay earlier. If only she didn’t chase after me, running after the van I was riding in. If only I got out of the van in time.
If only…
“Where’s the damn ambulance?!” I shouted as I turned to look at my friends. At that exact moment, I heard sirens around me. Everything became a blur then, All I could remember that she was taken from my arms; the feeling of emptiness swooped through me as she was taken away and placed on a stretcher. I wanted to scream at the medics and threaten them to make her okay. But I knew I couldn’t do that. Instead, the medics asked me and my friends if one of us were her relatives. None of us said a word. I climbed on the ambulance. Before the doors closed, I looked at one of my friends, he nodded and took his phone out, I knew he was going to call her parents. As the doors closed, I turned to look at her, I wanted to get out of the ambulance and find the bastard who did this to her but at the same time I wanted to be near her and keep telling her to stay alive.
So now, you might be asking if I stayed. I did. I looked at the watch tower as we passed it by,
10:35, that’s when the countdown started,.
.o0o.
It had been an hour or two since we came in the hospital, _____ was already out of the operating room and in her room.
Here I was, sitting out on the hall while her family was inside, waiting her to wake up. I thanked God or whoever was up there for saving her. Her family was worried sick when they got here. But they never blamed me for what happened to her, instead they comforted me. How blind were these people? I did this to her! If it wasn’t for me, she’d still be fine, over at her house, playing the piano. She wouldn’t be here, lying unconscious on a hospital bed.
I let out a big and frustrated sigh as I run my fingers through my hair. I stared at the wall and looked down. I forced myself to stand up from the chair and proceeded at her room. I stood there, staring at the door, not knowing what to do. I looked down at the door knob; I reached for it and turned the knob. I heard a “tick” and pushed the door to open it further, I opened it slightly and I heard voices.
“_____ah! My Baby! You’re awake!” I heard her mother say, I was about to open the door fully to see her but when I was about to I heard ______ say something.
“Who are you?” I heard her say, I completely froze. Why did she say that to her mother? What was happening? The doctor said she’d be fine, what was this?
“_____ah, it’s Umma. _____ah, do you remember me?” I heard her mother say, her mother was panicking. I heard her father calming his wife.
“Umma? Who are you people? Where am I? Who’s this _____ you’re talking about? Is she your daughter? “I heard say. I took a peek to look at her. She looked so lost and confused, my heart wrenched.
“Who are you?” I heard her say again. I looked at the clock at her room, still hiding from her and her family by the door.
12:00 midnight. That was when my world stopped.
[ End of Flashback ]
As she finished playing, the crowd applauded. I again managed to escape my horrid memories. She stood up and bowed in front of the crowd. I looked around, my mother, Super Junior and the towns people, knew nothing of that song. My family and neighbors only knew of that accident, but never that song, never that bracelet around her ankle, nothing.
I couldn’t take it anymore; I needed to get away from here. I quickly turned away and walked as fast as I can, away from the street, away from the crowd, away from my mother and my members, away from the stage and away from her.
At last, I had arrived at an empty street where the watch tower stood. I stood at the center of the street at the very same spot where it all happened, when everything changed, where she paid for my fame.
“Why?!” I shouted to the sky. Why did this have to happen? Why did it have to be her? Why couldn’t it just be me? Questions swirled in my head. If she didn’t lose her memory, I would’ve come back here every year, not just now. If she was okay, I would’ve stayed and never become “KIM HEECHUL” Korea knows. I would just be Kim Heechul, Park _____’s Kim Heechul, _____’s husband.
But it was too late, it was almost 7 years and she still remembers nothing, she lives through new memories, no old ones. She now lives a life without me and it kills me because I still live a life that has her in it. Why did fate had to be so cruel? This isn’t the Kim Heechul you know talking, but the real Kim Heechul. The Kim Heechul you see on stage and on TV only a part of what I am, The REAL Kim Heechul is the one Park _____ is with, without ______ the real Kim Heechul no longer exists.
“Heechul-sshi!” I turned around to see her, running towards me. I did nothing but stare at her, my eyes might be playing a trick on me.
*BEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!
Behind ______ was a car, driving towards her, the driver couldn’t stop. I looked at _____ who turned around and froze at the sight of a car driving so fast towards her, surely going to crush her.
“No!” I shouted as I ran towards her. This isn’t going to happen again, I won’t let it. She has already suffered so much. I won’t let her go through that again.
Everything seemed like it was going through slow motion, I grabbed her by the shoulders at pushed her out of the way. Luckily, I was also saved, if I were even a millisecond late, I would’ve been ran over. Me and _____ landed on the ground. I was on top of her, we looked at each other. I blushed, I quickly sat up, and she also did the same.
“Ouch.” She said rubbing her head. I stared at her, she looked at me. Suddenly she covered her face with her hands, and then she placed her hands above her head, her eyes closed, she screamed in pain. I directly took her hands off her head and placed my hands on her face and tried to calm her down.
I stopped talking as soon as she stopped screaming, with my hands still on her face, she looked at me. I looked at her, her expression, it was different, and it was as if she was trying to remembering something.
“Girly?” She said, innocently. She quickly gasped and pulled away from me and covered with her hands. I looked at her eyes wide; I grabbed her shoulders and looked at her. I then placed my hands on her cheeks again and looked at her.
*DING DONG DING DONG
The watch tower rang, indicating it was 12:00 midnight. It is now officially my birthday.
My eyes full of determination and hope; I took a deep breath and hoped to the heavens.
“Do You Remember Me?”
-END-
.o0o.
“I’m sorry..”
“I didn’t mean anything bad to happen to you..”
“It’s been years..but I still feel the same..”
“But I can’t tell you that I love you..”
“I don’t have the right to..”
“For what I did..”
“And for what I caused..”
“I’m sorry..”
“You..”
“Do you still remember me?”
.o0o.
Author’s Note: Yey~ after a week of working on this. It is finally finished! Yey~ and just in time too. Phew. If you’re wondering why this one shot is so long, like I said, I have been working this for a week now, YES. Even when I was sick. Lol. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter. Sorry for my errors my English isn’t that good. Lol.
Please Comment.
This chapter is especially dedicated to my Oppa, my one and only love, Kim Heechul!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEECHUL OPPA~! *does heart sign*
Take Care~
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