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Title: My Christmas Wish List
Author: Natalie1093
Characters: Lee Donghae&&YOU

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“As the snowflakes fall...”

“My tears fall along...”

“And so does my heart...”

“If you could hear me now...”

“If Santa could hear my plea...”

“The only want I want...”

“Is you, only you...”

“Your name written on my heart..”

“Your name, the only thing written in…”
“…My Christmas Wish List.”

.o0o.

“This is SUPER JUNI-OR! MERRY CHRISTMAS!” Super Junior members chorused and waved goodbye.

“And we’re done!” The PD said and everyone in the studio clapped for a job well done. Hankyung hyung ,Kangin hyung and Kibum weren’t present and were at home for some obvious reasons.

“Heechul hyung.” I called out. Heechul hyung turned to look at me; he looked tired as always, he made adjustments to his schedules to his drama to replace Hankyung hyung for this show.

“Yes Donghae?” He asked as everyone else passed by us.

“Are we going back to the dorm?” I said excitingly, Heechul hyung nodded and then both of us started to walk to the parking area. Its 2 days before Christmas and everyone in Seoul has been busy with preparations. We finally get inside the car and started going back to the dorm. If you must know, Super Junior hyung, dongsaengs and I love Christmas. Well, mostly me. Ever since I was a child, I love Christmas. But 2 years ago, Christmas became the reason I knew how to love.

[ Christmas Eve, 2007 ]

“Freedom~!” I screamed out loud and raised my fist up in the air as I successfully sneaked out of our dorm alone, I know it’s bad. But it’s Super Junior’s day off and I didn’t get the chance to roam the city alone in a long time. Everyone started looking at me; I quickly fixed my glasses and pulled my coat’s collar to cover a part of my face so I wouldn’t be notice, we wouldn’t want a commotion during Christmas Eve now do we?

I held up my wrist watch near my face to look at the time, it was 10:00 am. I smiled knowing I had lots of time to play. Suddenly I heard crying, I turned around and right then and there under the big Christmas tree of the Town Square was a girl crying. I knew that you shouldn’t put my nose into other people’s business but something in me, dragged me to her and told me to comfort her. I suddenly then found myself sitting right next to her.

“Uhmm...Miss?” I hesitantly said, she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. She was beautiful, yes I can say that but her beauty wasn’t the thing that caught my heart, but it was her eyes, her deep, dark, mesmerizing eyes.

“Are you okay?” I asked her. She sniffed and gave me a “leave me alone” look and turned away. Now, any normal person would get angry and leave but for some reason I stayed at the same position, looking at her covered face, yearning to see her eyes again. My heart felt like it would break if it were not see her eyes again. I heard another sniff and quickly reached for my handkerchief and offered it to her. She looked at the hanky suspecting something but accepted it eventually. I quickly took her hand and dragged her to a nearby coffee shop.

“Yah! Where are you taking me?”

.o0o.

“You shouldn’t be associating with bad people.” She warned me as she had a hood of her jacket on that covered the upper part of her face which of course hiding her eye. I looked at her, she sat across me. My heart rate went up at her mysterious ways.

“Oh, am I supposed to feel threatened?” I said sarcastically, how could this girl be a bad person? She then took of her hood and looked at me. Her eyes caught me again but then I noticed a huge bruise, a huge black eye in fact.

“Omo! What happened to you?!” I said as I reach out to touch her eye but she swatted my hand away.

“What’s wrong with you?! “ She said after she swatted my hand away. She was right, what was a strager like me doing with a stranger with her?

“Nothing’s wrong with me, while you have something going on.” I said as I reached out to her again, this time she didn’t swat my hand away instead she stayed still as she let me examine her black eye as she examined me.

“What do you want from me?” She asked me as she finally swatted my hand away. I sat back and softly smiled at her. I also asked and thought to myself:

‘What the hell are you doing?’

‘You don’t even know her, not even her name’

“Lee Donghae, what are you doing?”

‘What if this goes out of the press?!’

‘Do I even care if they see me with her?’

‘What happened to her?’

‘Why would I care?’

‘Because I just do.’

“Yah.” She said. I instantly broke from my thoughts and looked back at her, she had a “You weirdo” look on.

“Do you care to tell me what happened to you?” I asked her. She raised an eyebrow; she must be thinking how a stranger can be so nosy.

“I ran away from home and tried to steal and I got caught which resulted to this.” She answered as she pointed at her black eye.

“Is that why you were crying?” I asked her, she nodded in reply with a sad expression to her face. Really, this girl, her sudden changes of mood and expression is supposed to be something annoying but it’s not, not because we have a bipolar member ourselves but all of her expressions and emotions good or bad are all so… enchanting. Suddenly I had a great idea.

“I have a great idea!” I repeated out loud. She suddenly jumped at her seat at my sudden outburst. I swear, I kept hiding my face with my coat collar yet again at the people around since I am still in disguise. I took out a random piece of paper I had inside my pocket and a pen. Hehe. I always leave stuff inside my pockets.

“What are you doing now?” She asked, curiosity and annoyance in her voice. I simply smiled at her and then looked down to write on the piece of paper.

“What’s your name?” I asked her. She looked at me no longer curious and annoyed but just annoyed.

“______.” She replied. I then went back to writing; after I was done I gave it to her. She took and read it with a surprised expression.

“Read it out loud.” I told her.

“_______’s Christmas Wish List.”

[ End of Flashback ]

“Finally home~” Shindong hyung said as we went inside our dorm after we dropped off the others down stairs, Shindong hyung directly went the kitchen and helped himself to some cookies he baked himself. Heechul hyung went over to Hankyung hyung’s room to check up on him and Leeteuk hyung did the same with Kangin hyung. I went to my bedroom and sat on my bed. I turned to look at my window and there, with all its height, lights and glory, the very same Christmas tree from 2 years ago. I looked at it with a heavy heart, how life can be so unfair.

[ Flashback, Christmas 2007 ]

And after so many hours of trying to convincing her to write something, I finally succeeded. She finally wrote a few things on them:

1.To finally experience a happy Christmas
2.To spend it with someone nice to me

There was supposed to be number 3 but she ripped it off before giving it to me.

“Okay. C’mon let’s go.” I said as I stood up and grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the coffee shop.

“Yah! What are you up to now?!” She asked as I kept dragging her around. I stopped and turned around with a smile on her face.

“I’m going to give you a happy experience for Christmas and to spend it with me, a nice person.” I said as I held her hand tighter, I saw her blush and she quickly put back on her hood to hide it. I smiled even wider and then started to drag her along again, this time she was a bit more willing to come.

.o0o.

[5 minutes before it’s officially Christmas 2007]

_____ and I walked hand in hand. What you’re thinking is right, I didn’t ever let go of her hand. For some reason I thought if I were to let go of her hand, I might never see her ever again which even in thought made me want to die. How can this person, who I have just met, have so much power on me? How is it possible that she even let me hold her hand without even knowing who I am or what my name is? We finally stopped in front of the Christmas tree where we met.

“Yah.” _____ called me. Since she didn’t know my name, it’s obvious that she would call me that huh. I looked at her.

“It’s already dark, and you’re still wearing sunglasses.” _____ said. She was right, it’s really weird to wear sunglass during the night but eh, I have my reasons don’t I? So I shrugged in response.

“Why are you still wearing your hood?” I asked her.

“Well, It’s because I have a black eye pabo.” ______ retorted and scoffed. I chuckled at her answer.

“Here.” She said as she presented me with a piece of paper with her free hand. She quickly turned her head as I took it and with my free hand and read it. It read:

3.To spend Christmas with someone special.

My heart fluttered and raced. But I have never been so happy in my whole life. But like a true man, I stayed cool. Even though I was afraid, I let go of her hand and faced____. I could see that she still refused to look at me. I turned her to face me; I quickly took her hood down, revealing her pretty face and eyes to me. She looked nervous with a blush on her face. I knew there were lots of people around but they were all too busy to see what people are doing anyways. Suddenly the clock tower struck twelve, it was finally Christmas. I slowly took my glasses off and showed her my face. ____ looked at me with a shock expression with an “It can’t believe it look!”

“Yah! You’re…” ____ said but before she could say anything else, I kissed her. Yes, this was the best Christmas ever.

[ End of Flashback ]

As that memory faded, I remembered what I said to Eunhyuk before.

“If you’re given a chance, even though the outcome may or may not be pretty, but taking a risk when given a chance might be the bravest things a person can do.” This is what I said to him, yes I took a risk. And if I were to take that risk to get hurt, to be judged by others just because the woman I love is different, then bring it on. I then heard Heechul hyung playing his, and I couldn’t help but be sadder. If to be an idol is so lucky, then why does it feel so frustrating?

I let out a frustrated sigh and scratched my head. I know, I got her right? Yeah, but the next day I never saw or heard from her ever again. That memory will forever be bittersweet to me. I quickly went to my bed post and took a pad of paper and pen and wrote something down. It wrote:

Donghae’s Christmas Wish List:

1. Cho _______

I smiled a bitter sweet smile, it wasn’t that obvious in the outside but I was heartbroken. To be able to fall in love at first sight, to be able to experience love on the same night and to lose it the next day was too overwhelming. I wish my appa were still here, to have him spend Christmas with my members, umma and my brother would help ease the pain because like me, my appa loved Christmas and he too fell in love with my umma at Christmas. I fought back tears as I brushed my thumb at what I just wrote. Suddenly my phone rang, I quickly wiped the tears that I thought I didn’t shed and quickly picked up my phone. It was already an hour before Christmas and I wondered who would call this time, I still had the same number 2 years ago though maybe a friend wanted to greet or something.

[ Phone Moment ]

“Yoboseyo?” I said through the phone.

“It’s me.” A voice replied and my heart skipped at beat, it was her.

“_____?” I said, not believing it was her.

“I need to see you ..For the last time.” ____ said.

“What?” I said, what did she mean by “for the last time”?

“Please..Donghae..please.” ____ pleaded trhough the phone. I couldn’t stand her being like this. I gave in.

“Okay, where should I meet you?”

[ End of Phone Moment ]

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“Name?” The officer asked. He was asking me the person I was going to visit. I adjusted my coat so he wouldn’t see my face.

“Cho _______” I replied and then he gave a look and directed me to a room. I entered. There was a long table with glass windows on them and a telephone thing on the side. I sat one of the seats and waited. If you’re thinking what I think you are then you’re right, I am currently in jail as a visitor. Suddenly I heard a tap on the glass. I looked up and met those mesmerizing eyes again. I looked at _____’s face , she looked thinner, she had bags under her eyes but nevertheless , she was still beautiful. She pointed at the phone thing and picked hers up, I did the same. I let my collar coat rest properly; it was just the two of us now.

“Hi.” ___ said as she tried to smile.

“Hey.” I replied.

“I’m sorry.” She apologized. I knew what she meant.

“Why didn’t I see you again?” I asked her, letting out my hurt. She looked at me with sad eyes.

“I got caught.” She answered. Yes, I remember, she got her black eye form before from stealing. Could it be that she got caught again?

“Did you steal again?” I asked her. She shook her head as she started to cry.

“I was framed.” She replied as she started to sob.

“What?” I said, disbelieving.

“The next day, when I was supposed to meet you again, someone placed a very expensive necklace in my bag and when I went out, I got arrested and I’ve been stuck here since then.” ____ explained.

“What? Well, leave it to me; I’ll get you out of here.” I said as I proceeded to stand up.

“No! It’s too late!” She said and with that I slumped back to my seat, I started to cry. How come everything came too late?

“Why?” I asked.

“I’m going to be transferred.” She said as she tried not to cry anymore.

“Where and when will you be transferred?” I asked, it hurt too much to think I won’t see here again.

“Later tonight, I don’t know where they’re taking me.” She answered. I didn’t say anything..it was clearly too much.

“I’m scared…” ___ said as she cried even harder.

“Me too..” I said. I looked at the watch it was already 12: 00 am, it was already Christmas. I looked back at _____ through the glass, we both still held the phone device.

“Merry Christmas..” I said sadly as I tried to smile. ____ also tried and smiled.

“Merry Christmas.” She repeated. I placed my free hand on the glass and she did the same. _____ looked at me while she was crying, even though she was crying she was still the most beautiful woman there is. This is the woman I love, no matter what, she’s the one.

“Saranghae.” I said as our hands were so close yet seprated by a thin glass and I gripped the phone with my other hand tighter as I cried even harder, seeing her cry and making her seeing me cry .

“Sarangahe.” She said and with that even though we’re so close there’s always something there between us. But even though she’s not by my side, my heart is by hers.

.o0o.

“As the snowflakes fall...”

“My tears fall along...”

“And so does my heart...”

“If you could hear me now...”

“If Santa could hear my plea...”

“The only want I want...”

“Is you, only you...”

“Your name written on my heart..”

“Your name, the only thing written in…”

“…My Christmas Wish List.”

.o0o.

Author’s Note: Uwaa~ it’s so late but…MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR~! I hope you liked this one. :D Please comment. :D

Take Care~