------one month later--------

From BuRin:

dude. I heard Mark and SeMi broke up.

To BuRin:

What???

From BuRin:

I heard from SeMi herself. She told her friends in the washroom today

To BuRin:

…..

From BuRin:

I think she is the one that dumped him. She sounded pretty cocky and was kinda like whatever.

To BuRin:

Damn… I hope he is okay..

From BuRin:

You should go talk to him

To BuRin:

What? Why me?

From BuRin:

Well you guys got closer and aren’t you the only one he opens up to?

To BuRin:

We are not that close…

From: BuRin

Come on, everyone is worried about him. He is so quiet. No one knows what he is thinking about.

To BuRin:

but it’s awkward…

From BuRin:

WHATEVER! I’m sure Jackson wouldn’t mind.

To BuRin:

Okay...fine...but I doubt he would say anything

I placed my phone down and looked up at the board, and glanced over at Mark with his eyes closed. I took out my pad of neon pink sticky notes and scribbled on it.

Hi :)

I then ripped it off the stack and stuck it on Mark’s book right in front of him. He slowly opened his eyes, even though I don’t think he heard me stick it on his book. He picked up his pen and scribbled on top of the same note.

hey :)

How are you?

alright, you?

Seeing that the small piece of paper is already full, I ripped off another piece.

I heard about you and SeMi..

It got around faster than I expected haha

do you want to talk about it?

can I?

Of course! :)

Would Jackson mind if I took you away from him tho?

Of course not! I’m going to smack him if I can’t even talk to a friend.

okay :) Today after school?

mmkay :)

-------------

“did you talk to him about it?” BuRin rushed up to me with all the boys around her except for Jackson.

“going to right now” I adjusted the straps of my backpack on my shoulder.

“see I told you guys he would want to talk to her” BuRin turned around to prove to the guys.

“Sup guys” Jackson sang.

“hey” everyone greeted him. Jackson naturally s his arm around my waist to pull me closer.

“I can’t hang out today” I looked up at him.

“why not?” he asked.

“I have to talk to Mark” I said honestly. His expression hardened ever so slightly, if I didn’t know him for such a long time I wouldn’t have noticed.

“he broke up with SeMi and he needs someone to talk to” I explained.

“Yeah hyung. Don’t be jealous we are all worried about Mark hyung” YoungJae pointed out Jackson’s jealousy.

“I’ll call you when I’m done” I said as I noticed Mark approaching us. I pulled Jackson into a hug before walking up to Mark.

“Let’s go” I said as happily as possible even though I feel totally guilty for leaving Jackson like that.

“Are you sure Jackson is fine with this?” Mark asked.

“Of course he is” I said without looking back at Jackson.

Mark and I exit out of the school and walked to our old elementary school. I have no idea why we decided to walk here, but we just ended up at the sandbox that we used to play in. The same sandbox he made his promise in. Little kids sat in the sand, building castles and some knocking them down. Mark and I sat down on the fresh spring grass.

“The snow is finally gone” I sighed happily.

“I thought you liked the snow” Mark commented.

“I do..but sometimes I just get sick of it” I said while pulling on the grass for no reason.

“so..what happened..?” I asked awkwardly.

“things didn’t work out” he shrugged.

“did you try fixing the problem?” I asked.

“..no…” he mumbled. I rolled my eyes and felt anger boil inside of me. This is how we ended up apart for such a long time. It’s because he never tried to fix the problem. It pisses me off because I would try to fix it while he doesn’t care. Then when I’m finally getting over him, he has this look that makes me feel sorry for something that I didn’t even do.

“maybe that’s your problem.” I said bluntly.

“what is?” he asked.

“You. You never try to fix the problem and you expect her to fix it.” I grumbled.

“...I’m sorry…” he sighed.

“don’t say sorry to me. Say sorry to SeMi, go before it’s too late” I said.

“No. I’m saying sorry to you.” Mark said.

“...why?” I asked and looked at him.

“because I didn’t fix our problem” he looked right into my eyes. I feel my vision blur as tears started to form.

Why does he have to bring it up now??

"________, I'm sorry" he said quietly. “I didn’t reply after your confession because I didn’t want to lose you if things didn’t work out. I can’t risk losing you. You were and still are too special to me. I know it is horrible for me to tell you this now. You and Jackson look extremely happy together and I don’t want to ruin that because Jackson is my close friend and you are someone I care about. I don’t want to see you get hurt again because of me.”

I looked away, having no idea how to react to this. I got up from the grass and rushed away, while my tears threatened to fall. I held my hands over my mouth to keep me from crying out loud and I just let my tears roll down my face silently.

Why does this have to happen now? I thought I could finally let go of him. I thought I could finally just let myself fall for Jackson without having any worries. How the hell am I supposed to react to Mark saying that I am someone special to him and that he still cares about me?? How am I supposed to treat Jackson fairly if I just heard this from Mark??

BzzzBzzBzz

I looked at my phone to see Jackson’s callers ID appear. More tears rolled down my face to see that Jackson is calling me. He is always there for me when I am in trouble. I am using him. I swiped to answer, but I did not say anything.

“hello?” his comforting voice hurt me instead. The voice that I always feel so safe to hear is hurting my heart instead.

“_____?” he became more worried.

“hello? ____ are you there? Where are you? I will come right away” Jackson started to panic. My heart ached to hear him like this. Without saying anything, I ended the call and continued to walk away. Thoughts flooding my brain and my heart feels like someone is stabbing it multiple times.

“_____!” Jackson’s voice called. I looked up to see him panting for air, but he ran up to me.

“what happened??” he grabbed both sides of me and made me look at him. Just looking at him made me cry even more. Why does he always have to be here when I need him to comfort me? I am just using him. I don’t want to do that.

“Leave.” I forced the word out of my mouth.

“what do you mean?” he asked, completely confused.

“Leave me alone.” I stuttered and walked out of his grip.

“No. I am not going to leave you.” He grabbed my wrist with a strong grip. I let my tears fall silently while my back is still facing Jackson.

“Please…” I pleaded.

“tell me what happened. It hurts to see you like this” Jackson said with his hand still around my wrist.

“I don’t deserve you…I am just using you.” I turned around to look at him. His eyes are full of pain, but he still looks calm, like he expected me to say this.

“I know you don’t actually like me. You still couldn’t let go of Mark.” Jackson said.

He knows???

“I..I like you so much that I went along when you pretended that you like me” he said quietly, his voice full of pain. I feel like I’ve just been shot in the heart.

“I do like you. I just couldn’t forget about Mark, I-I tried so hard to let myself fall for you. But I’m afraid to. I’m scared to fall in love with you. I don’t want to lose you” I cried.

“I promised you that I would be there for you no matter what” he said. I only looked at him while more tears rolled down my tear stained cheeks.

“why are you so nice to me?” I asked.

“because I love you” Jackson looked right into my eyes. My heart feels like the piece are sticking back together after hearing him say that, but the guilt is killing me.

“Don’t say you love me. I can’t say those words back to you” I cried.

“It’s too late, I’ve already fallen in love with you” Jackson wiped a tear away from my face with his thumb.

What am I going to do now??

WHOAAA I DID NOT EXPECT THAT TO HAPPEN! i JUST BEGAN TO WRITE AND THIS HAPPENED LOOL Well honestly I planned for this to happen later on, but I guess it could happen now..LOL So I guess this is a bonus chapter to make up for my future hiatus LOL I have a feeling that all of you guys would go all like : OMGGG ASVNSFNVI:FNVA! It’s okay if thats how you feel! I understand! I actually went all crazy when I was writing this LOL

-Lorddumplings :)