I walk outside of the house, the air is fresh, cold and hits my face hard. Aiya links her hand in mine as she leads the way towards the school, now in a good mood from my encouraging words earlier. She pulls me along, happily and quite excited. I smile at the thought that this is what I would be doing with my own child, holding their hand on the walk to school. 

It must have continued raining last night, as their are puddles all over the ground, the side walk is glistening from the rising sun, although it's a rough area I can't help but think it looks beautiful this early in the morning. Mother's walking their children to school continue to look at me, a young, apparently scary looking man walking what they must think is his daughter to the same destination, I can't help but think it must look strange for a man to be walking a child to her school, as most men in this city are successful business men. 

I slow my pace down, as Aiya begins limping. 

"Would you like me to take you to the doctors after school Aiya, so they can look at your ankle?" I suggest, my words escorted by a polite, calming smile. She looks up at me, her eyes are so bright and bubbly, truly fitting with her personality. She shakes her head frantically, looking as though she was scared.

"No, I'm fine." Her voice is blunt, and rather angry. 

"Are you sure?" She stops, taking her hand from mine. I stop walking and turn to her, she is making her way towards a small rose bush. 

"I am fine Seunghyun, I'm not a baby." She picks a rose from the bush and walks towards me, trying to hide her pain in her ankle from me, although I can see through her smile. 

"Okay, okay Aiya." I laugh lightly, meeting her as I walk a little closer to her, gripping the rose from her hand and pushing it behind her ear and in her hair. "But if you're not a baby, then what are you?" I tease, smiling at her now trantrum looking body language and face. 

"I'm a butterfly remember?" She pouts at my smile and question. "You're the baby." She teases back, causing me to smile even wider. A group of older kids walk up to us, aggressively. 

"You're not a butterfly Aiya, you're a dork." They all laugh at the remark, I can now see the pain in Aiya's eyes as she tries ignoring them, looking at me and only me. I turn my head to the group of boys, they look at though they're a few grades higher than Aiya, I can't help but feel slightly angry and mad.

"And what's your name?" I smile to the obvious leader of their little 'gang', they all turn their attention to me, not knowing who I am or what I am about to say. 

"And what do you care?" He snarled back at me.

"I don't care, you know boys." I stand up, my height obviously scaring them a little. "When I was in school, I was told that if a boy picks on a girl, he likes her." The group of boys all look at their 'fearless' leader and start gossiping amoungst themselves. 

"Yeah, and how long ago was that? 100 years?" He laughs by himself, knowing this is a battle he can't and won't win. 

"Dude, now you like boys too?" They all start laughing behind him as I take Aiya's hand in mine and continue walking towards her school. I don't look back, as I can hear his group giving him hell as we walk away. 

"Thank you Seunghyun." Aiya says to me, looking up at my face. I look down at hers, her smile returns as she knows those boys won't be giving her any more trouble, I can't imagine how long this has been going on as I am sure this isn't the first encounter she's had with those bullies. 

"It's alright Aiya, no one and I mean no one is going to hurt you or your sister while I'm around, that's a promise." I let go of her hand as we reach her school's gate, she pulls me down to her level. 

"Can you give this to Bom when you get back home?" She questions me as she pulls the rose from her ear while pulling my arm towards her, she places the bright red rose in my hand carefully. I nod, promising her that I will infact give her sister the gift she picked out for her. She wraps her arms around my neck once more, tighter this time. 

I hear mother's aweing from the sight of a little girl hugging what must have looked like her father. I return her hug by once again wrapping my hand around her back, pushing her body closer to mine. 

"You have a good day okay, and we'll go to the park and get some hot chocolates after school okay?" I whisper into her ear, lightly.

"You promise you'll be right here when I get out at 3 right?" She whispers back to me. I nod and smile as I let her go, the bell is just ringing and all the children are now rushing towards the school and out of the cold air. "Bye Seunghyun." She smiles while fixing her backpack and rushing with the other kids. I wave back, smiling. 

My smile hasn't left my face since I began walking back to the house, the rain has started falling once more, although it doesn't bother me as I look down at the beautiful rose that Aiya has picked her wonderful sister. I start thinking about Bom once more, although this time nothing but friendly and wonderful thoughts are filling my head. She reminds me of the rose in my hands, beautiful but with rough edges and clearly some very terrifying secrets. 

I pass the lake I sat at for hours yesterday, the setting was still sad and the water still polluted, the lovely thoughts of Bom leave my mind and I am reminded why I came here in the first place. Not to make friends, not to look after two innocent girls, but to find the woman I love. I question if it's worth it, continuing to look for her as I realize she may not even remember me, and I may not notice her when I see her, she may have changed more than I can imagine. 

I sit back down, at the same place I did yesterday. If I look at the lake, I can't help but think about the hurt and pain that caused me to come to this city, the woman I'm searching for, I can't help but fear what she's actually like now, if she's still beautiful or is a waste of my time now. If I look at the rose I can't help but think about Bom, her glowing smile, her bright eyes, her beautiful nature. 

"What am I doing?" I think to myself, it's true that I don't love Bom but I think I may be starting to feel things for her, things that I thought I'd only feel towards one woman, the woman I was feeling confused about, I know I love her, but Bom and Aiya are confusing me, they're clouding my mind, and I can't help but think I may be better off with them instead of searching for a girl who may not even want me anymore.

For all I know she may have moved on, she may have another man and may have started a family with him, her children may be beautiful, her new man, if she has one may treat her a lot better than I did and not drive her away like I did. It's my fault she walked away, my abusive hands all over her body, I caused her so much pain, but after she left I had nothing, I still have nothing. 

I know now that I have grown up, but she may not even want me back, after everything I put her through. After all the cuts, after all the bruisers, all the hiding away inside, I don't blame her if she's moved on. Although I still hope she hasn't been able to find the will, I know if I can prove to her that I am a man now, we can both be happy in each other's arms once again, like we were before I started drinking. 

She gave up so much for me, so much that I can never give back to her, so much more than I can give anyone. I sigh out loud, in pain as I look around and away from the rose that was now causing me agony. Everything around me reminds me of one of the girls, Aiya, Bom or the woman I love. I bite my bottom lip, I feel like all eyes are on me, the lonely man sitting at the lake once again. I close my eyes for a second, trying to replay all the happy moments and memories from the past 5 years, everything good that I did and all the good and loving moments where I wasn't a monster. 

I feel a hand on my shoulder and can hear someone sitting down next to me, I raise my head quickly. The doll like beauty is sitting next to me, Bom. Her eyes where mine were glued too yesterday. She raises her other hand and lightly pushes her hair out of her face, smiling down at me with her beautiful, kissable lips. 

"Morning." Her voice sends a vibe through my body like none other, I can't help but truly adore her, although we only met a few hours ago, I feel as though I have known her my entire life. Her mother-like attitude, her eyes that reflect everything she's seen, bad and good. I sit up right, trying to act like a man and not the thing I used to be. 

"Good morning." I try to smile, although my face changes back as I realize my voice is breaking, I cough to try to hide my awkwardness from her, although she can see right through my expression. 

"Thank you for walking Aiya this morning, it's nice to be able to go to work and not worry about anyone hurting her while I'm gone." I look at her glad face, I start to feel sick, not in my stomach but in what feels like my heart. "It really means a lot, here's some money for today and a key to get back into the house when you're ready." She takes her hand off my shoulder as she hands me some money and a silver key, I can see it in her face that something is keeping her here with me, something deep inside of her. 

"I can't take this Bom." I sigh, trying to hand her the money back as I put the key in my jacket pocket. 

"Please Seunghyun, at least buy yourself some ciggarrettes, okay?" She stands up, towering over me as she holds her hand out to support me up. It's no use trying to argue with her as I deny her help, not needing it. She smiles and rolls her eyes, she begins walking towards what must be her work, although stops as few steps ahead of me. "It's probably a lot to ask, but could you walk me to work?" Her voice seems uncomfortable. I smirk as I walk towards her. 

Our pace is in perfect sync, our legs moving at the same time as we begin sharing jokes and smiles. I feel as though I can be my good, true self around her and I hope she feels the same. She keeps looking at me, even when there's silence between us, I can't help but wonder what she's thinking about, what she's trying to figure out. 

"Seunghyun." She breaks the silence rather fast, noticing that I am too looking at her beautiful, doll like structured face. I turn my adoring gaze away from her, trying to focus my eyes on something else, feeling guilty once again. "It really means a lot, having you stay with us." She begins as her pace slows down slightly. "I heard what you said to Aiya this morning, and I want to know, is everything you said true?" She questions, stopping in her tracks. I also stop and turn my body slightly towards hers. 

"Which part?" I question, worryingly.

"The part about Aiya being a butterfly, did you really mean it?" Her eyes shoot towards the ground, I can tell her little sister is the most important thing in her life, as they clearly have a mother nor a father to watch over them. I step towards her slowly, not realizing that my hand was raising her face towards mine. 

"Of course I meant every word, but while she's a butterfly, do you know what you are Bom?" I smile, her eyes making contact with mine as she narrows her eyebrows. She shakes her head slightly, I feel nothing but a pit of nervousness in my stomach as I feel eyes on me and her, our apparent intimate position, although I couldn't bring myself to pull my hand away, to take a few steps back. "You're Bom." I smile playfully, feeling a little awkward but not as much as I have in the past. 

"Yeah, I know." She laughs lightly, putting her hand on mine. "And you're Seunghyun." She playfully slows down her voice, teasing me. 

"No, I mean you're just you. I've never met anyone like you before Bom, you're beautiful, you have the kindest nature, I mean look, you're letting some random guy stay with you, and you're letting him stand this close to you with his hand to your face." My tone is a little too serious for my liking, although I can't pull my eyes off her, something makes me want to kiss her, although that's something I just can't imagine doing. 

"I...I just trust you I guess, I don't know what it is, but I do." Her tone is serious too as her eyes change from playful to slightly shy. A few seconds pass as both of us try to fight the urge to kiss the other, not knowing how the other would react, I don't know how I would. I don't know if I'd be able to stop myself from kissing her back, as I truly feel as though there's more here that what I'm allowing. Bom pulls away, fast. "I'm going to be late for work if I don't hurry." She lightly pecks my cheek as she begins running off, my eyes not leaving her as my hand is now touching my own face, the place her lips were a few seconds before.