I can't get over the smell of this small, two bedroomed house. It smells like a home, looks like a home and makes me wish I had a home. Bom truly is beautiful, Aiya is nothing but innocent, I can't thank them enough for offering me food for my empty, rumbling stomach. The food was amazing, Bom's cooking was much like my mother's, making me think about my childhood once more. 

I can't help but feel comfortable here, the atmosphere is truly very comforting and I wish that I could stay, although I must find somewhere to sleep as I feel as though I have already intruded too much. Bom has put Aiya to bed, the pure, young girl put up a little fight, but fell asleep none the less. 

 I keep finding myself smiling when I look at Bom, everything about her speaks beauty. Her smile is like a disease, a pleasant sight none the less. Although I can't help but feel guilty, as I feel like I'm cheating on the woman I'm searching for, I feel like I've done something unforgiving, although I know it's my mind telling me things to make me upset, I truly feel as though I am doing wrong. 

The tension in my body must be clear, as Bom keeps her eyes on me, in a sight of almost what seems like pity. I've never been good at hiding when I'm uncomfortable, sad or upset, and only one girl has seen all three of my most frightening moods. I find myself sighing as I realize I truly do miss her, more than anything, but I can't help but wonder if she misses me all the same.

I can't imagine what my life would be like if I lost her, I'd be a complete wreck, I'd have nothing to live for. Everytime I look at either of the two girls in the same house as me, I can't help but wonder if my son/daughter is like Aiya, and if the woman I love is like Bom. I see a lot of qualities in the two of them that I truly do like.

"So, Seunghyun." Bom breaks my train of thought. "Do you have somewhere to stay?" She questions me, concern in her voice as she looks at me, her eyes are bright, big and beautiful. It takes me a while to think of something to say, although there's no need for lying, I can't help it as everyday I lie, not only to people around me, but to myself.

"Yes, I was going to stay in a motel." I smile towards her, wondering if she posseses the quality to read me like a book, to see through the fakeness that I pathetically planted onto my lips, to see the truth behind my breaky voice. 

"Oh." Her voice sounds saddened all of a sudden, I can't help but wonder why she asked that question. "Well, if and when you need somewhere to stay, that's free..." Her voice stopped as she tried gathering her own words. "My door is always open. Aiya has really taken a liking to you, and she normally dislikes men more than anything." I look to the room where Aiya is peacefully sleeping, maybe if I stayed she'd have a smile on her face as she woke up, I begin wondering if Bom's words were true, if she truly did have a thing with men, and if I was the only exception. "And you don't seem like a bad person, so I would trust you to stay here." My eyes meet the beautiful girl's once again.

Was everything she saying true, or was she just toying with my head? I honeslty can't decide yet. 

"Ugh." My face begins to burn up, I don't know why I am blushing, she isn't hitting on me, well I hope not anyway as I am in love with someone else. "I wouldn't want to be a bother." I cough, trying to clear my throat, as well as my cloudy mind.

"Oh please, it'd be nice having a man in the house. No one would try to break in anymore, knowing there's a guy living here." She laughed, I can't help but feel nothing but concern for their safety. I knew this was a rough area, but people truly are nothing but scums of the earth. "I mean-" Her eyes look away from mine as she, herself begins blushing slighty. "That's if you stayed." 

I can't help but feel slightly forced towards staying here, somehow I feel the need to protect these two young girls, I feel the need to stop all the bad people from entering their lives, especially Aiya. I laugh uncomfortably, trying to ease the now blushing mess I happened to be. 

"I'm sorry, it's just that you have that bad boy image about you, and I'm just worried about leaving Aiya alone here, especially in this area. People don't care if you're a girl, your age, your looks, they'll cause trouble for you if they know you're weak, and I just want to protect her from that, and I know having you here would do exactly that. Since I work all hours of the day, meaning I can't even walk Aiya to school in the morning." Everything seemed to blurt out of , it was like she wasn't thinking about what she was saying, maybe she felt comfortable talking to me, although I don't agree with everything she has said. 

She continues on for a few moments, telling me how much safer she'd feel if I stayed the night, I need to make my decision. Do I stay and protect them, or do I leave because I fear getting attatched to new people. My eyes have not left her lips, I feel the sudden need to place mine, gently onto hers. Although, I fight my urges back, reminding myself that I am in fact, in love. 

"I guess I can stay one night." I smile at her, hoping that it makes her feel better about living in a rough neighbourhood, with a younger sister, even if it was only tonight. Her face lights up once again, she smiles brightly at me again. I can see it in her eyes that she feels much better about me staying, knowing that I am infact quite intimidating looking, and I can easily scare away any bad people if they try to come inside their home. 

"Oh thank you." She jumps up and wraps her arms around my neck, immediatly taking her body back, realizing that I was still a stranger, and not feeling completely trust worthy of me yet, which I understood completely. Her cheeks and ears went a bright shade of red, she seemed to think it was a mistake and felt slightly ashamed. 

"I can stay as long as you need me too Bom, honestly. I feel the need to protect you, and Aiya." I wished my lips hadn't parted, as we both sat there, awkwardly and full of tension. Something about Bom makes me feel like a man, and makes me want to become even more of a man than I am, she makes me want to act my age, although still be a child at heart, as I can see that's the perfect way to describe her personality. 

She stands up and encourages me to follow her to a room, she walks over to the wardrobe and begins throwing clothes towards me. 

"These were my father's clothes, so they're a little out of date, but should do for at least sleeping in." She smiles at me, walking out to give me as much privacy as I need. It's a little weird as I start undressing myself, feeling as though someone is constantly watching over me, making me paranoid about every little noise that run through the now quiet house. All I can here is the tv on the lowest volume and water running as Bom seems to be doing the dishes. 

I look at myself in the dark, quite dusty mirror. This is clearly Bom's room, as there are posters all over the walls, makeup all over the cupboards and the room is full of pastel, girly colours. I can't help but feel sorry for myself, as I look into the mirror I see nothing, just a stranger looking back at me. It doesn't even look what I imagined myself to look like, I don't see anything special about myself. All I see are bones, skin, facial features and legs. 

I sigh as I look at my body, I remember when I was healthy build, but now I see nothing, I'm wasting away, and although I knew it was bad for me not to eat, I couldn't bring myself to eat an entire meal. Even Bom's food I couldn't eat every last bit, although it was delicous and I so desperatly wanted too. 

A knock at the door scared me a little, as Bom walked in, covering her eyes with a hand. I covered my body in shock, I couldn't help but feel shy about having a girl in the room when I was so vunerable. 

"I can't see, don't worry. I just need to get something." Bom laughed lightly, slightly parting her closed fingers, although I didn't notice her eyes looking me up and down, although I can feel it. "Could you please pass me the makeup brush, the small one." I quickly turn to my left, they're all small and I have no idea which one she is asking me to pass to her. I reach one hand towards the cupboard and hand her the first one I pick up, she laughs hysterically and begins walking out, taking her hand away from her eyes. 

"Thanks." She laughs as she closes the door behind her. I continue to stand there, feeling exposed as I try to calm my breathing. Once I'm dressed completely, I walk out of the room. I can't manage to look at Bom, thinking that she may have seen something I wished she hadn't, she can't help but smile as I awkwardly enter the room she is in. 

"Do you not get much attention from girls Seunghyun?" She is trying to hold back the laughter as I clench my jaw, my eyes are looking everywhere but at her. I cough harshly, trying to show her that I don't feel comfortable. "I'm sorry, I just thought you'd be used to girls seeing you half ." Her laughter escapes loudly, I fear that she will wake up Aiya who has school in a few hours. 

"Well I'm not." I harshly deny her joke. She stops laughing, her expression changing as she realizes she must have gone a little too far.

"I really am sorry Seunghyun, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. It won't happen again, promise." She takes her eyes off me, while her voice becomes saddened. I can't help but feel bad, as I realize she didn't mean any harm. I look at her, not knowing how to make her feel better. 

"It's okay." I smile, while placing my hand on her leg, she turned her head towards me. I begin to wonder if I had made some sort of move on her, that made her feel violated. I took my hand away hastily, and placed it neatly in my own lap. She smiled and looked in the same direction I glared into. 

"You're so shy, and awkward." She giggled slighty, her laugh felt like music to my ears. "Well, I guess we better get your bed set up." She smiled as she stood up, heading towards the other side of the house. I began feeling guilty once again, wondering if I was a sinner, a player because I made physical contact with another woman. A beautiful woman, a very natural young woman. I ran my fingers through my thick, dark, messy hair. I tried relaxing, but nothing was helping. 

I felt the need to leave, even though I promised I would stay to protect her, and if not her Aiya. I so badly wanted to walk out and start searching for the woman I love, I feel as though the quicker I find her the less confused I will feel, although there is the chance it will make me more confused, and I'm not sure if I want to feel worse than I already do. 

-I tossed and turned all night, not being able to sleep comfortably. Bom infected my dreams, her smile and her laugh. I dreamt that we were sitting alone in her bedroom, I kissed her, my filthy hands all over her body. The atmosphere was intense, I began sweating as I laid above her, my head in the crook of her neck, my lips exploring her, making her feel like a woman. The door opens harshly, I turned around to see none other than the woman who bought me here in the first place, tears falling down her beautiful, slim face, she can't stand to look at me while my hands are all over a younger, beautiful woman. 

I sit up, the sun is up, my head pounding, my chest panting. I feel another presence in my bed, I look down to my left, Aiya is snuggled up in my blankets. I feared my dreams, I feared Aiya knowing what was running through my mind, as children are experts in that filter of things. She rolls over towards me, her hands touching my thigh as she twitches towards my body, trying to keep herself warm against the heat of my exhausted body.

I looked up at the clock, it was 6am, exactly. The house was quiet as I sneakily moved my body back down, Aiya's facial expression becoming sour as I wrap her small hands around my waiste. I turn my body towards hers as I push her soft, dark hair out of her face. I began wondering how long she had been in my bed, how much she had seen, why she felt the need to sleep with me. 

I closed my eyes once again, not wanting to sleep but wanting to relax. Aiya's face moves into my chest, her snores become slightly louder, her drooling mouth resting against me. I wrap my arm around her as I lift the blanket over her cold, small body. She slowly opens her eyes and looks up at me, smiling. 

"Good morning Seunghyun." Her voice is tired, I smiled down at her as she changes her position to make her body look like she's back in her mother's stomach. Her knees dig into my crouch area, causing a slight pain to run through my body, but I imagine she is my own daughter, and can't help but adore her. 

"Good morning Aiya, do you have school today?" I make small talk, as her mind is still clearly as cloudy as mine. She nods as she rubs her eyes, a few eyelashes falling onto the matress. "Well you have a few more hours before Bom wants you to go, I will walk you today." I smile down to her, trying to encourage her to fall back asleep in my arms. A large smile infects her face, causing me to forget my horrible nightmare and smile at her pure, innocent face. 

"Really?" Her voice is high pitched as she almost squeals. 

"Yes, but you still have a few hours, so go back to sleep and I'll wake you up when I feel you should get up." I need to get out of the bed, I need a ciggarette, to calm my mind and place the tension into the air. Although, remembering I have none left I sigh in what sounds like agony. 

I end up walking around aimlessly, not knowing what to do, but not wanting to go back to sleep. I look back at the clock as I sit down in the chair, beside Aiya's small body. It's 7:30am, I feel the need to wake her. I place my hand lightly on her arm, shaking her as gently as I possibly can. Her eyes open slowly once more, she looks at me. 

"Do I have to go to school today Seunghyun?" She whispers, obviously not wanting Bom to know of her question. I smirk slightly, imagining this conversation with my own child. 

"Why don't you want to go school, school is fun right?" I question, my voice whispering back at her as I feel Bom has no need to hear this conversation. Aiya shakes her head into the pillow, sitting up. 

"I like it, but I don't have any friends." She sighs, it seems as though this is a normal conversation for her to have, which makes me greatly concerned and saddened. 

"What about those kids last night, were they not friends?" 

"No, they pick on me, they call me fat." She sighed rubbing her tired and upset eyes, trying to hide her tears from me, although I pretend not to notice. 

"Oh, well you should ignore them. You know, I was bullied when I was in school too, I used to be a very heavy person." Her eyes open wide in disbelief that I used to be big. 

"You're lying." She accused in a childish way.

"I'm really not, they used to call me horrible names. But you know what I did to make everything okay?" I question her, she shakes her head. "I remembered that I was a good person, and that got me by. I didn't have friends, just like you." I lied, I did have a few good friends back in my childhood, although I never kept in contact. "You're beautiful Aiya."

"Would you be my boyfriend?" She interupted me, I laughed slightly, feeling rather flattered.

"If you were a few years older, for sure!" I smile down at her as I sit up on the messy bed with her, placing my hand on her back. "But really Aiya, you're beautiful. You're always going to be, if you know you are, no one can change that. Believe me. Let me ask you something Aiya, is a butterfly beautiful or ugly?" I asked, knowing the perfect example to use, she thought for a second, which I was quite shocked at, while leaning back into my body. 

"Pretty." She smiled, the answer was obvious.

"Okay now, try to imagine it ugly." I suggest, not quite knowing how to word what I wanted to say. I didn't realize Bom standing at the door frame, listening into our conversation. Aiya closed her eyes, and tried to imagine the butterfly as ugly.

"I can't." She admitted, wondering where I was going with this.

"Exactly, now think of yourself as a butterfly, do you see yourself as ugly or pretty?" 

"Pretty." She said once again. 

"That's right, you're a butterfly Aiya. And those kids who are picking on you at school are nothing but stink beetles, true beauty is more than skin deep." I smiled, wondering if any of that made sense to her young mind. She laughed at the thought of her head on a butterfly's body, but seeing herself as beautiful for the first time. 

Her small arms wrapped around my waist, holding her body tight against mine. I returned her hug once again, Bom smiled and walked back to her room, feeling as though no more words were needed. 

"I'll go get ready for school." Aiya smirked while limping towards the room. 

"Hey Aiya, we'll go to the park after school okay?" I smirked at her, promising something so simple, although I knew it meant more than anything to her. Her face lit up as she squealed slightly. 

-I hadn't seen Bom all morning as she was getting ready for work, although Aiya was now ready for school, and I was dressed myself. I wrote down a note for Bom, incase she began worrying where I had gone with her little sister. 

Bom,

I convinced Aiya to go to school. You're probably going to be gone when I get back, but don't worry. I'll pick her up too.

Seunghyun.