I woke up, washed up and grabbed my already packed luggage. I knew the inside was a complete mess because I have barely packed my own luggage before. I usually had Hyukjae the neat freak to do it for me. Unfortunately, he was once again busy last night as he spent the night outside of our dorm; somewhere; probably with another girl.

As I dragged my silver Samsonite luggage out of the room, I saw Hyukjae seated on the living room sofa in the dark. It was only 5am and none of the members were awake yet. He had his shades and cap on even though it was still dark.

“Are you ready?” He asked softly.

“Yeah,” I replied with the same volume.

It was awkward silence throughout the entire drive there. I hated it. I was so angry at Hyukjae, at myself and at us. This was supposed to be something we both looked forward to, a dream come true, and here we were travelling towards it in a less than excited manner. I unconsciously gripped the bottom of my jacket, tugging at it in a frustrated manner.

“Stop pouting,” Hyukjae said as he placed his hand over mine.

That small action served its purpose as I obeyed his command and felt my mood get lifted slightly.

Even though it was still rather early in the morning, we were greeted with a hoard of fans at Incheon airport, flashing us with their cameras and shoving banners of “D&E Japan Tour” in our faces. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for our fans but all I wanted was to get on that plane, sit next to Hyukjae and get some much needed rest.

As we passed through security, Hyukjae had to remove his accessories and what shocked me were his swollen eyes and heavy eye bags. Wasn’t he having the time of his life last night? Why did he look like he had stayed up all night crying? Did his “naughty nurse” girlfriend dump him after a short relationship? It couldn’t be that though, Hyukjae had never cried over a failed relationship since Gina. What was eating him?

“Are you ok Hyukkie?” The words escaped my lips the moment we found our seats.

It took a few minutes before Hyukjae started replying. I waited. I waited because I wanted to hear his answer and I knew he needed time to compose himself.

“Erm…erm…I was just a bit nervous. I’m afraid I’ll miss my home and everyone back here in Korea. I can’t imagine being away for so long and going on a tour by myself. I’m just worried…”

“But Hyukkie you’re not alone, I’m here,” I smiled at him and held his hand in mine.

At that moment, as he looked into my eyes and smiled his gummy smile at me, everything felt perfect as the plane took off, heading towards our destination, embarking on our dreams.

The next few days in Japan before our first concert was heaven was earth. It truly felt like we were on our honeymoon. There was no stress, we could walk on the streets like normal people, hell we were even holding hands and taking photos as we strolled down the streets.

Practice was relaxing and entertaining as we met up with the Japanese crew. We were done by 5pm every day and even had time to shoot cute little videos to post on my Instagram in between practices.

We then spent the evening in our hotel room just chatting to each other comfortably, as two soul mates. I imagined if we were married, this is exactly how we would be spending the rest of our lives together.

*warning Eunhae japan tour spoilers ahead*

“Eunhae! Eunhae! Eunhae!”

Before I knew it we were standing on the platform which was due to be lowered for the opening act. I wouldn’t deny, even with my favourite guy standing right beside me, even with this being something I’ve been dreaming off my whole life, I was dead nervous. My grip around the pole tightened significantly as I stared down at my feet.

Then an all familiar sensation returned to me as I felt fingers under my chin, lifting my head towards my right.

“We’re gonna rock that stage Hae. You can do this. We can do this. This is what we’ve been dreaming off. Day 1 Eunhae tour let’s go!” He ended