{ 5 }

When I woke up this morning, I was sweating bullets and my pillow was soaked, but I wasn't sure if it was sweat or tears. I swung the comforter over my body and crawled out of bed, making my way towards the bathroom groggily. After taking a cold shower and slipping into my crinkled school uniform, I headed downstairs with my hockey stick bag securely tucked in my school bag that I slung over my shoulder. I didn't have to check the house to know that my mother had already left for work.

Like any other day, she purposely left early so she wouldn't have to face her son that made her face wrinkled in the corners in disgust. 

It was better to ignore the pain. Sooner or later, the ache will start to dull over the span of time until another pain takes over. Humans are like that. They can't tolerate with the same pain forever. They'll move on, find another source of pain to cope with, and then the process repeats itself. 

I was still trying to tolerate. 

After grabbing a couple of energy bars and chugging down a bottle of milk, I stepped outside and closed the door behind me just as the bus pulled at a stop a few metres from my house. While biting down Kellogg's honey oat cereal bar, I jogged towards the bus and lifted myself in using the door as a handle. There were only a couple of passengers onboard---a few juniors from my school and a girl that had her face shielded with a black hoodie, sitting at the seat in the middle aisle---and none of them looked too happy to be here either. I silently chose a seat beside the window just as the bus lurched forward. 

I pressed my earphones into my ears and drowned out the world. 

I had a feeling like someone was watching me but I pretended to not notice. 

We reached her neighbourhood, and a bunch of kids got on. I lifted my head up, expecting to see a familiar face smiling back at me, her lips only twitched in one corner when she beamed, her hazel eyes that were soft like honey behind her framed glasses that she wore only to school that lighted up the dark parts of my soul. 

But she wasn't there. 

Instead, a girl with crazy hair, bright red on top of curly, plopped down on the seat beside me, taking Haeri's usual spot. She had on a plaid shirt, a man's shirt, with scarves wrapped around her wrists. There were a dozen necklaces hanging around her neck that could probably belong to her ancestors. She was big, but not a bad kind of big. More like an awkward kind of big. She looked up to me briefly and gave me a quick nod of her head. 

"Sup?" 

She was staring at me. I blinked at her dumbfoundedly and after assuming that I was most probably mute, she shrugged and digged her pointer finger through her nose and casually smudged it on the front seat. 

You've got to be kidding me. 

I shifted closer to the window and fought the urge to cringe. The bus started to move again over the bumpy road, and I leaned my head against the seat; my thoughts finding its way back to Haeri. She promised we would go to school together on Mondays, and she made me promised to save her a seat because we would usually share earphones to listen to my playlist before going to school. She loved Oasis and Radiohead just as much as I do, but her favourite band was The Maine, and she never stopped bragging to me about how hot John Callaghan's voice was and how she loved his pronunciation of window that sounded like win-dough. She would always sing along, but I never sang in front of her. 

Into Your Arms boomed through my ears when I felt my phone buzzed in my backpack. I squinted at the bright light emanating from the screen and my heart leaped. 

Message from Haeri

Baek. . . . _{7.05 a.m} 

What's wrong? Are you okay?? _{7.06 a.m}

My heart was racing at the utmost speed and I felt my hands becoming cold.

She didn't reply. 

Haeri? Is everything okay? Where are you? _{7.10 a.m} 

My phone gave out a quick buzz. 

I can't believe you would do this to me. _{7.12 a.m}

What did I do? :( _{7.13 a.m}

Did I somehow pissed her off? Did she find out about my feelings? that's not good.

You've replaced me with a new best friend. Guess she's a lot prettier than me, huh? >.< _{7.15 a.m}

My eyebrows scrunched in confusion. The bus swerved into a new corner and we weren't that far from reaching school. The sun was peeking through the clouds and pedestrians shuffled along the pavement. The red-headed girl who sat beside me that resembled Princess Merida with kick- arrow skills---I only noticed it now---was gobbling up some chips like she hadn't eaten in days. My fingers were about to type back a reply and ask Haeri what in God's name was she talking about but then it hit me. 

What if. . . .

I whipped my head and turned to glance at the girl with the black hoodie sitting at the opposite aisle next to my seat. Earlier when I got on the bus, I didn't notice the brown curls poking from the opening of her dark hoodie, and her framed glasses hidden underneath her sling bag. And the fact that I felt someone was watching me throughout the ride. . .she was here all along. She didn't look at me, or pretended not to notice, but I saw her hiding a small smile. 

Haeri must've got offended that I gave Merida the seat that I was supposed to save for her. Did she purposely got on the bus early and disguised herself to see if I would keep my promise? 

She was a piece of work. Her action was ridiculous, but I found myself smiling too. 

My fingers tapped against my phone screen and I pressed Send. 

Yeah, I did. I got tired of u. Did u know my new best friend likes to pick her nose? We have so much in common. _{7.18 a.m}

I never thought our friendship meant that little to you. How could you, baek? _{7.18 a.m}

I smirked and typed back a reply; my fingers dancing across the keyboard in a fast motion. 

Thanks for the two months one week and four days of whatever we had. It hasn't been a pleasure. FYI I've always hated the little mole under your right eye _{7.19 a.m}

I could hear her gasp slightly. I tried to hold back a laugh. She quickly sent in a reply.

I hate your rectangle smile and God you look ridiculously horrible right now with your disheveled scraggly hair and your big nose and skinny fingers that resembles a girl's. You need to get a nose job _{7.20 a.m}

You need to stop drooling over me and pointing out every perfect features of mine that you secretly imagined before you go to sleep ;) _{7.20 a.m}

. I hope you step on a chewing gum. _{7.21 a.m}

Ouch. I thought we weren't going that far :(_{7.21 a.m}

Oh I just did. I hope you step on a big, sticky chewing gum filled with someone's stinky saliva and would never be able to get it off from your shoe >.< _{7.22 a.m}

You're a horrible person. I'm going to tell my new best friend about the awful things you just said to me and she's soo going to flip her booger to you _{7.22 a.m}

I heard her laughed, so I turned my head to look at her and smirked in victory. Her eyes traveled to mine and and she stuck her tongue out childishly at me. The bus finally pulled to a stop in front of the school gate and all the other students filed out, including Merida. Haeri got up from her seat and before she could lift her books, I went to her and snatched the books from the seat and hoisted them up against my shoulder. She peered at me curiously before trying to reach out for her books but I pulled it away and gave her a small grin. 

"Let me make it up to you. I'll hold your books from now on." I said, and she simply lifted her eyebrows in amusement. 

Using my other hand, I reached out for her face and pulled down the hood slowly from her head. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders, and my hand lingered beside her neck. I pulled a string of her hair slightly and she wasn't moving at all. She wasn't looking at me either; her eyes focused on my neck tie. We were standing so close and now I could see her face clearly. When she looked up at me, for a moment I had a feeling none of us breathed. My hand fell from her hair when I realized we were late. 

I grabbed her arm and led her out of the bus. When we stepped into the school compound, Haeri had a mocking smile plastered on her face. 

"What happened to your new bff?" she asked. 

"It didn't work out for us," I shrugged, and slung my hockey bag further up my shoulder, my other hand carrying her school books. 

"Bummer," she feigned remorse, and I simply rolled my eyes at her. 

"Anyway. . ." I started. "What's wrong with my nose?"

Today was the big day. We had practiced for months, and coach had finally assigned me as the team captain of the team. Most were fine about it, but you couldn't deny the fact that some weren't all that happy that it was me to take the lead. We were up against Sejong High School to make it to the finals, and I was more than ready to prove that I deserved the spot as team captain. Haeri was sitting at the bleachers, giving me a wide smile. 

"BAEKHYUN!" she shouted, waving her hand. 

"OH?" I shouted back, shielding my face from the scorching sun.

"KICK THEIR BUTTS!" she yelled and I burst into laughter. 

I jogged back to the field and took my position. The spectators were already cheering for their favourite team, but Haeri was the loudest. I smiled. 

I'm going to win this. For her. 

My grip on my hockey stick tighten when the whistle was about to be blown. 

The only thing I remembered was the loud booming of the crowd around us when I scored the final goal. It happened by so fast, that I didn't manage to stop and think about how my thighs were throbbing painfully, how my lungs burned and begged for air, and how my muscles ached in every part of my body. I plopped on the ground and took in huge gulps of air just as my teammates surrounded me and lifted me up in the air; chanting my name.

I felt a sense of victory, and happiness engulfed me like an addictive drug. I laughed, and this time it felt right. It felt real. With the advantage of a high vantage point, I tried to look for her in the sea of crowd, but I couldn't find her. Everyone started to congratulate me and slapped my back and shook my hand, so I did my best to not look distracted. I couldn't shrug off the thought that she probably had already left, and didn't stay back. It was like doubting her, and I felt wrong to doubt her, but it made my heart deflate more that she wasn't there to congratulate me. 

After the series of celebration, I went back to the locker room and tried searching for her, but to no avail. I walked out of the locker room and saw someone standing beside the door, waiting. She turned around and when she spotted me, her face immediately lighted up. It was the girl from my classroom that I still didn't remember what her name was. I walked up to her. Was she waiting for me?

"Hi Baekhyun." she said. 

"Hey." I replied, feeling a little bit awkward. "Why are you here?" I didn't mean for my tone to sound like I didn't want her here, but she was taken aback from my question. But then she immediately shrugged it off and smiled sheepishly at me. She had jet black hair that reached over her shoulders, deer-like eyes, and her face was free from any make-up that you could see the acne problem that she had. Her demeanour was timid, like a mouse. Her skirt was way over her knees and her socks were short; vanishing in her shoe. 

"I. . .um. I wanted to congratulate you. You were. . .amazing.  And I. . .I just thought. . ." she struggled for words and I simply chuckled. 

"Yeah?" 

"I wanted to give you this." She held out her hand and revealed a box of chocolates. 

"Oh." I said. I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. "I, um, I can't accept this." 

"W-why not?" She looked disappointed, and I instantly felt a pang of regret for turning down her gift. 

"No no no. I mean, it's not that I don't want it. It's just---", I tried to form the right words to say but then I sighed and gave her a smile. "You know what, I'm kind of hungry right now." I reached out for the chocolates and she handed to me willingly. 

"Thanks." I said sincerely, and she beamed like I just granted her wish.

"I have to go. I need to find someone. Catch up with you later." I waved at her, and then she simply turned around and watched me go. I had only walked a few steps when Haeri turned from a corner of the hallway and saw me just as I saw her. Her face lit up like a glowing star and my heart inwardly melted from her smile. She was happy to see me. She ran towards me and threw her arms around me. I laughed and spun her around in my arms with one hand, lifting her slightly from the floor. She had a tight grip on my neck, and she was laughing too. 

"I knew you'd win, Baek. I'm so proud of you. I'm so so so happy for you." 

"I know." I said, letting out a sigh of relief and squeezed her tighter. I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want her to let me go. 

"And I'm sorry for not being there to congratulate to you earlier, something came up and I---," she started and her voice sounded troubled but then I cut her off. "It's fine, you're here now. Let's get some ice cream. I'll treat you." 

She finally pulled away and narrowed her eyes at me. "No you dufus, you won the game. Ice cream will be on me." Then her eyes traveled to my back and her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Oh hi there!" she greeted and waved, and I turned around confusingly to look at the earlier girl. She was still there, staring at us. Damn I really need to ask her what her name was again. 

"Hi." she said curtly, but her tone came out forced and the earlier smile she that gave me wasn't there. She was gripping to the side of her skirt tightly.

"I'm Haeri. We're in the same class right?" Haeri tried to initiate conversation, completely oblivious to the tension rising between the three of us. 

"Yeah. I know who you are." she spatted out, and Haeri's face fell like she had just been slapped to the face. "You know, this isn't the place for you guys to act lovey-dovey to each other like this freaking place belongs to you. Aren't you aware of that?" 

I blinked at her sudden burst, completely taken aback by what she said. Haeri's face was furrowed, but she didn't look angry or anything. I was about to defend our ground, but then she spoke again. 

"And anyway, are you guys a couple? Because best friends don't hug each other like that." she said mockingly and I felt the heat creeping up to my cheeks. I looked over at Haeri and she was staring at the girl, but her expression was unreadable. I knew her well, and she wasn't the type to get angry easily, especially on inconsequential things. She handled her situations well, and I admired that trait about her. I was a broken piece of skin and bones deep inside, and she was the only one who could put and piece myself back together. 

I didn't know what this girl's problem was, but I could never stand back and simply watched. "Yes, she's my best friend and I wouldn't trade her for the world. Ever. If you think it's wrong to hug your best friend in public and simply sharing happiness together, then there's something wrong with you. And just for the record, she means a lot to me and I don't care about what other people say about us." I said sternly, unable to hold back the words tumbling out of my mouth. Haeri reached out and pulled me back, and her face was a mix of surprise but there was a warmness in her gaze. 

The girl snorted and crossed her arms across her chest. "You'll regret this, Baekhyun. Mark my words." Then she turned around and walked away from us. When she finally disappeared around a corner, I felt my jaw clenched in anger and my body trembled to control the emotion that would pour out of me any second.

"Baek, it's okay. Leave it alone." 

I looked up at her and she was giving me an assuring smile. I didn't even know why I was angry, but I was. She reached out for my shoulders and pulled down my face to look her in the eyes. "Screw what she said. We're going to be okay. Okay?" 

"Okay." I said weakly. I realized that I didn't want to lose her, even if she wasn't mine for me to lose. She nodded and smiled at me. 

I swallowed heavily. "And what I said to her just now. . .about how much you mean to me, it's true. I just want to make sure you know that I was telling the truth." My eyes pleaded. 

"I know." she murmured.

But she never said it back to me; if I meant the world to her just as she was to me. 

{ A/N }

Long update for you guys :) I won't be able to update next week since I have a school camp going on and I need to focus on my exams. But please be patient with me! Leave comments and upvotes! It will encourage me to write ^^ Thank you so much for reading, lovelies <3