Haeri's POV

I woke up.

It was still early, the sunshine had not yet peeked through my blinds and there was no sound of my mother stomping through the kitchen. Instantly I felt heavy, like an anchor was attached to my body and I was thrown deep into the ocean. It was like an instinct, an inevitable hunch that prompted me, whispering incessantly in my head, telling me I needed to 'work'. I slipped out of my sheets, my feet touching the cold floor. I put on my sweatpants and went straight to the treadmill, did not even spared myself a glance in the mirror like I always do in the mornings. There was nothing worthy to look that. 

I ran for about an hour, but then it became two, and finally ended after three hours of non stop running. I couldn't stop. And I felt better, rejuvenated, even if my throat was dry, and my stomach grumbling in anger. The conversation with Baekhyun a few days ago still pushed its way to the forefront of my thoughts but I tried to disperse it. His touch still lingered on my wrist, and I couldn't get his unreadable expression out of the recesses of my mind. How his honey brown orbs stared at me---like they were in pain. But what I was doing wasn't wrong. It was for the better. 

I walked into the kitchen when the smell of scrambled eggs flared my nostrils. My mouth watered when I saw the plate of a hearty breakfast: sizzling sausages, sunny side up egg with an orange center, chicken bacon and peanut butter sandwich---just the way I liked it. My mother had her back on me; humming to herself while cooking on the stove. I started to make my way towards the table unconsciously, I was so so hungry, when my feet stopped. 

No! my mind screamed. It was all a big, sick, greasy trap, it warned. If I let them into my mouth, I knew immediately that I would never ever forgive myself. And just like that, I came back to my senses. Sweat dripped from my forehead like rivulets, and the fan did not give much help to cool me down. I needed to find an excuse because I was sure she wouldn't let me skip my breakfast today. It was still early and the bus hadn't arrived yet. On other days, I could always dash through the door without touching the food; the bus becoming my saviour. But not today. 

"Mum?" I managed to croak. 

"Yeah?" My mum turned to look at me, wiping her wet hands on her apron.

I hesitated, my eyes trained on the floor. 

"Oh come on, Haeri-pie. Theres still plenty of time to eat. You don't have to rush today." 

"I'll just...can you pack them? I'll eat on the way to school." I quickly amended. 

"Sure thing. Make sure you finish them okay?" 

I nodded silently, but inside I was asking for my mother's forgiveness. 

While waiting for the usual morning bus, I threw away every little bit of my breakfast in the trash can outside my house, cringing at the heavenly smell. When the bus came swerving, I couldn't help myself but to crane my neck to spot any sign of him around the area, but deep down I knew, that he couldn't possibly have forgiven me. Even though I assured him that I was alright, even though I told him that I was only going on a diet, he still didn't approve. But I knew what I had to do, and nothing was capable of changing my mind, not even my best friend. 

I had almost forgot that today was the big day. It was a bliss to realize that I had finished my project a week earlier than the due date so today was only the presentation. If I got good credits for this, it would help to contribute in my extra-curricular marks that would push me to a good college. The crowd was thick and heavy, like soup. It was really warm in the hall; filled with the students' conversations and admiration, and some even bickered, at the portrait's projects portrayed. The lights were blindingly bright now that I noticed it, and the hall smelled heavily of mashed up perfumes and sweat and watercolor and the cheesy smell of tacos.

I didn't realize I was clutching so hard to my phone until someone who was assigned beside me asked if I was okay. I checked my phone again; perhaps a text had magically appeared from last 45 seconds I had glanced, but there wasn't. He would come, right? He promised he would come to his girlfriend's art presentation. Reminding him yesterday was the only thing I remembered.

Just the word 'his girlfriend' made me feel slightly queasy with happiness. Baekbeom and I didn't actually start with a good note, but no one had ever looked through me completely. It was so sudden that night when he asked, when he said I could change him, and maybe it was the overwhelmed euphoria, or the thought that someone actually found me attractive, that I said yes. It was wonderful, to know that at the end of your boring and ty day, you had someone that thinks about you, and cares about you, and wanted you. It was more than I could ask for. 

I scanned through the crowd, and the minutes ticked by felt like hours. The show was about to start, and there was so sign of him. I felt a burning sensation in my eyes, the tears threatening to fall. The disappointment came surging, creating a huge black hole that all the hope within me. I glanced at my artwork---a picture of a girl with surgery stitches around every inch of her face: indicating her struggles with the her own beauty that she was too blinded to see. On her crestfallen facade, I wrote all the words that she was burdened to be: flawless. perfect. vibrant. acne-free. model. pretty. pretty. pretty. slim. skinny. skinny. skinny. skinny. skinny.----and felt like tearing it up. The amount of effort I had put into this was indescribable, so I had no idea why I was being so emotional right now.  

All of a sudden, my phone vibrated with a familiar ringtone that I hadn't heard in a while. I frowned. It was undeniably Baek's ringtone. Slowly, I swiped my finger across the screen and put the phone close to my ear. 

"Hello?" 

There was silence. I could only hear his slow breathing. But then: "Look up." he simply said. 

I lifted my head slowly and found him waving among the sea of students sitting on the bleachers in the hall. Baekhyun was holding his phone against his ear and had a ridiculously huge smile on his face. When our eyes finally clicked, he let his hand fall. 

"Stop making that sad face, yeobori." Baekhyun spoke, still locking his eyes with me through a distance away. I could see he was pouting adorably.

I smiled. It was warming to hear him call me that, like the feel of summer on your skin. Baekhyun gave me that nickname from the combination of my name and yeobo, after I couldn't stop laughing when the kids called him my yeobo at the park on the first day we met.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, in utter disbelief and surprise and gratitude. 

"You kidding? What made you think I would miss my best friend's biggest art presentation?" 

"But I never told yo-" I started, but he cut me off. 

'I know, its okay." Baekhyun chuckled, finally averted his eyes from me and stared down, but he didn't look angry at all. If anything, it was a look of understanding. Then he spoke: "Make me proud. After this we're going out for an outdoor movie. I already bought diet coke and those crazy salad that you always ate and im not taking a no as an answer." 

I don't deserve you. Why are you doing this? 

I nodded slowly while holding the phone so tight. I couldn't hide my smile anymore. Baekhyun probably saw my approve even from the ridiculous distance between us. 

"Okay." I whispered, and he waited until I hung up first before he did. 

Baekhyun came down from the bleachers and stood near my table when I was about to start. The judges were inspecting my work and asking me questions, and I was feeling lightheaded from all the nervous emotions crashing inside of my stomach like waves against the shore. I looked up at him, and he was giving me an assuring smile, as if telling me, I'm here. I got you. Slowly, even though it seemed out of reach, I finally finished my speech about my poster and answered all the questions surprisingly calm. The judges nodded in approval and moved to another station. The results were going to be announced next week, and Baekhyun knew we had no reason to stay anymore. 

"Let's go," he took my hand and guided me through the crowd. His grip was tight, and firm, and he held my hand like he was scared I was going to disappear if he let me go. 

We took the bus to somewhere along the outskirts of town. There used to be an airport here, and beside it was a wide field of nothingness. Baekhyun brought a picnic basket with him, and it looked awfully cheesy that I couldn't help but a bit. I didn't know where we were going, but I was glad for the temporary escape. The last time we went out like this was when we were at the beach, and it felt ages ago. There was still no reply from Baekbeom when I checked. Baekhyun noticed how I always glanced at my phone, and there was an unreadable expression on his face, but he said nothing. 

The bus came screeching to a halt as the doors flew open.

"We're here," Baekhyun grinned adorably, and led me out of the bus. We were greeted by a wide expanse of land. There were picket fences lining around the field, and I saw a huge white screen situated at the far end, with some other people laying on blankets, waiting for the movie to start. Flowers dotted the grass, and trees and leaves shivered by the slightest breath of air. 

"Where are we?" I gaped at him. I never saw anything like this before. 

"I'll show you. Come on," he ushered me to the fence and helped to lift me up. He grabbed me by my waist and heaved me up so that I could cross over. My cheeks became hot when I held his shoulders for balance. I hoped he didn't notice how I shivered slightly from his touch. After handing me the basket, Baekhyun flung himself over the fence with ease and landed with his feet. He dusted his hands and took the picnic basket from my hands. We walked side by side to where the people were gathering. 

There weren't that many spectators, just enough to build a half circle around the screen. Most came as couples or duos, and some even came in groups of four while others came by themselves. They didn't register us when we started to make our way towards the half circle. Baekhyun and I found a good spot in the middle but not too close to the others. We sat on the blanket that he brought, as the the sky started to change to splashes of orange, red and gold. 

Then the movie started to play. It was a romantic comedy movie, and I immediately forgot about the world and all of its contents. My temporary world right now only revolved around this movie, Baekhyun, and the blanket of stars above us. He had his arm worked as a pillow as he silently watched the movie. Sometimes he would laugh, and his eyes would turn into half crescents, and his mouth forming the adorable rectangle shape. Other times we would cackle together, or cursed at the main character for being so stupid, or argued on who was more suitable for the heroine. Baekhyun had offered me diet coke and nothing else. I realized that he didn't want to push me. He was giving me space to choose. He brought salad and tuna sandwiches and strawberries. I took a bite out of the strawberry as the weather started to get chilly.  

"Are you cold?" he suddenly asked. I nodded. There was no point of lying when I could get freeze to death. I wasn't wearing any cardigan either. Without another word, Baekhyun lifted his left arm and pulled me close. I rested my head comfortably on the space between his shoulder and arms, and fitted my body perfectly in the hollow space of his arms, like a key to a lock. He draped a blanket over me, and my arms softly to give me heat. 

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked softly, careful to not sound too loud because the movie was still ongoing. 

Baekhyun turned his face and looked down at me, his eyes searching mine. He smiled a little but it did not quite reached his eyes. "Do you want me to be honest?" 

"More than anything." I admitted. 

He took a deep breath and stared at the sky above us. "Because I miss you. And I want to spend every possible moment with you. More than anything." 

For a moment my breath was caught in my throat. I forgot how to speak. My heart was thumping loudly in my ribcage. I was staring at him, and the stubble on his cheek was slowly coming to focus, and his puffy eyes from lack of sleep. 

"I'm sorry, for yelling at you the other day. I guess I just hate that we were slowly becoming strangers, and I couldn't fix what had broken between us." His voice sounded defeated and his features looked vulnerable in the moonlight. 

"That's not true," I whispered, but I knew he was right. 

"I just wish things could go back to the way it was before." 

Me too, I thought silently. Even though it was hard to admit, but I knew, and he felt it too, that there was an unbounded force pulling us apart, building up a huge force field between us. 

"Give me your hand," he said. I did, without objection. I held out my hand to him and he took it, tracing small patterns on my palm. His fingers traveled to my wrist, and I saw him comtemplating about something. I wanted to pull my hand away, ashamed of the fat accumulating it, but he held it tight. He slowly pulled out a pen from his pocket and uncapped it with his mouth. The tip of the pen danced across my wrist, and Baekhyun smiled when he was done. 

You're beautiful was written on top of the blue veins protruding on my wrist.

I felt my eyes stung, and the reality of the situation started to slowly sink in. We could never go back. We had hurt each other, and we could never go back.

Baekhyun embraced me tighter as the sobs racked my whole body, the pull of sadness shaking my body in tremors.

"Baek---" I choked.

"Shh, it's okay, I'm here. You can cry, baby girl. Everything will be fine, I promise." 

When he said that, I only cried harder against his chest, dampening his shirt. I felt bare, and weak, and exhausted. He was the only person who could make me feel so small, and yet so protected in his arms. I had never been the kind to cry so easily. Maybe time had worn me out, and maybe all that had happened propelled me to become weak, scraping all my strength. 

Baekhyun leaned in and planted a soft kiss on the crown of my head, something he never did before. I felt my insides melt and my heart fluttered fervently. His lips stayed there for a moment, and I closed my eyes. He murmured something, but the dark and strong tug of sleep pulled me away. 

Baekhyun's POV

The ride back home was bumpy, but the night was silent, and calm. She was laying on my lap on the bus seat, mumbling something in her sleep. Thankfully she was small enough to fit her body through the two seats. I absent-mindedly played with her hair and twirled it around my finger. She smelled like vanilla and grass. I wished we could stay like this forever. And I wished I could kiss her, so badly. 

I was staring out of the window when she stirred in my arms. I saw her eyelids fluttered open, and her brown eyes met mine. 

"Did I wake you up?" I asked softly, and pushed a strand of her hair away from her face. 

She shook her head profusely. Then, she fixed her posture and now our gaze fully met. "How did the movie ended?" 

I pretended to remember and made a long hmm sound. She laughed and hit my arm playfully. 

"It was a dumb ending. The guy married someone else, and she moved to another town. And it ended just like that. I mean, how could you possibly have in your right mind to end a story like that? And expect us to assume they live happily ever after, not together?" 

"That's stupid." she shook her head, but then she seemed far away, deep in her thoughts. "But Baekhyun-ah, maybe that's what life is." 

"What do you mean?" I frowned, as her hand found mine and she fiddled with my fingers. 

"I don't know. Maybe, things aren't always supposed to be right; sometimes they have to be wrong. Because only then we can learn from that, and it shapes and molds us into a better person. Maybe the guy wasn't meant for her, and even though she lost the love of her life to someone else, maybe she thought she could find happiness in another far away place and have a better life." 

Her words made me think, and then I realized that she was right. In some ways, it's okay to feel lost, or afraid, or weak; the feelings are inevitable. It is how we pick ourselves up and learn how to walk again, learn how to breathe again, and find happiness that we deserve along the way. 

The bus stopped abruptly and I knew we had arrived. We walked silently back to her house, and there were a million things running through my mind at once: what should I say to her, how to say it, how to end this perfect moment between us. There was a knot in my stomach, and my insides swirled, making me nervous than I already was. I was about to turn to her and say something when she suddenly stopped walking and stared ahead. She blinked a few times, as if confused. 

And then I saw him. Baekbeom. Standing at her front lawn. 

And the reality of it all crashed like glass, shattering my hopes and everything within me. 

"Haeri-yah!" he called out, and came running towards her and scooped her into his arms and hugged her so tight I started to feel sick. I turned my face away. 

"Babe, where have you been? I tried calling you so many times but you didn't pick up. I was so worried. I'm so sorry I couldn't make it today, I really am." His words sounded pleading, but so fake to my ears. Haeri was frozen in his arms, like a statue, and she looked uncertain when he pulled away. Baekbeom turned to me, and there was a warning in his eyes, a glint, like a tiger's. 

"What the hell is he doing here?" 

Haeri quickly stepped between us. "We went to watch a movie. He's just walking me home." 

"You what?" There was anger in his voice, boiling, the rage was bubbling within him. "Are you trying to prove something, Baekhyun-ah?" he hissed between clenched teeth. I felt my nails bit through my palm in a fist, trying to calm myself. There was no point of fighting with him. I already lost. He had her. I had nothing. 

"No, I'm not." I sighed, and looked over to her. "I'll see you tomorrow." 

She merely nodded, a look of desperation in her eyes, and I turned around and walked away with a heavy feeling in my chest. 

Haeri's POV

There were tears in my eyes, but I didn't know why I was crying. We fought, but I felt nothing. I tried to explain, to make it work, but he just pushed me away, and told me I was worthless. But then he said he was sorry and tried to apologize with a kiss. I felt myself give in, trying to feel anything, anything at all, but there was nothing. 

Baekhyun's POV

As the months passed and the leaves shriveled and died and replaced by new ones, everyone was buzzing, excited, talking about the same thing: homecoming. The hallways were busier than usual, with all the decorations and balloons and banners hung in blue shades. Invitations were passed, and questions were asked. 

Everything was a blur and didn't matter much, because all I see was her. How she was changing and becoming someone else. She was losing to herself---losing to her body that didn't look like hers anymore. There was a war inside her head, and she was losing. 

A/N: 

I hope this chapter didn't ! My important exam is coming up really really soon >.< I hope I can do well hihi wish me luck!