Chapter 17

A cough was heard behind me, making me twirl in a circle only to find a nurse come out of Rylynn’s room.

“Excuse me miss, I was just wondering if you were ready to see your daughter, she’s awake,” she suggested in a low and sweet tone. Both Jackson and I didn’t delay for a second and barged our way past her and into the emergency room. Rylynn lay on her bed, her body spread out across the mattress like a frail sheet.

She had a mask cover her face, and wires run across her body. Seeing her like that reminded me of the endless treatments that she was forced to undergo over the past few years that ultimately led to absolutely nothing.

Jackson had beaten me to her, practically sprinting towards the bed that held the very sick girl. His fingers ran through Rylynn’s hair as he began to mumble a few words in her ear. I was moved by his sudden outburst of affection.

Rylynn giggled dimly at what Jackson had whispered so secretly. Her eyes struggled to stay open but I could tell that she was trying her best to stay awake.

“Rylynn, dear, how did the doctors treat you?” I asked, pulling on Jackson’s collar and shoving him away playfully.

“I don’t remember, I was asleep,” she answered with barely any energy left to dispense. “Mommy, I want to play. I don’t want to rest anymore.”

Jackson made himself comfortable on the chair beside the bed and leaned forward to hear Rylynn’s every word. Her hand attempted to push against the sheets in order to sit  herself up without success. Jackson picked up her frail body in his arms and placed her on his lap as he sat comfortably on the bed. Her body slumped down low once I rubbed her cheek.

“We can play over here, Rylynn,” assured Jackson with a high pitched voice. “You have to get better first. You’re very sick. So it’s best if you stay here so your mom won’t worry.”

“But I’m always sick. I’m tired of always being in the hospital.” Her hair stuck to the fabric of Jackson’s very sweaty stage clothes. He played with her thin fingers. I could tell that he was trying to stay strong in her presence, wiping away any show of weakness that he had earlier.

“Rylynn, why don’t we have fun here? Right now?” suggested Jackson, giving me the signal to sit on front of him. His eyes were shinny from the tears he was holding in. His voice was not nearly as playful as he was trying to be, not sounding in a very good mood.

“What can we do in here? There are no toys!” she remarked, pouting almost.

Jackson took out a pen from his pocket and lifted Rylynn’s body higher on his lap. He gently scooped her petite hands in his fingers and began to draw on her pinky. As I watched the two bond, I quietly sat beside Jackson on the bed, not able to utter a word.

“This is you, Rylynn,” he commented after drawing a happy face with short hair and a dress on the tip of her finger. He began to scribble on her ring finger now, this time it was a taller woman figure with a t-shirt and pants. “She isn’t very pretty, is she?”

“Is that mom?” asked my daughter with a faint grin on her face. Jackson tapped her on the head, tying his best to smile himself.

“It’s good that you recognize your mom for looking this bad.”

I glared at him for making such an unnecessary remark, but he was too busy with Rylynn to notice my dark expression. I could sense the sting in his heart every time he closed his eyes to take a moment to breathe.

After a contemplating her hand, Jackson began to tackle Rylynn’s middle finger with the pen, drawing a stick man now. He was biting his lip as he took his time to draw the figure.

“This is your dad.” Jackson gulped down all the saliva that clogged the black on his throat before pronouncing his name. “Mark.”

Rylynn giggled seeing her father’s awkward looking drawing on her skin.

“Doesn’t it make you happy that you got to meet your dad, Rylynn?”

She nodded, letting out every ounce of energy to beam widely.  Her grin slowly dropped into a line, her eyes shrinking.

“Where are you, Uncle Jackson?” she asked, disappointed that he wasn’t drawn as well.

“Huh?” expressed Jackson, in part confused.  

“You didn’t draw yourself,” she pointed out, giving him her index. My eyes grew in surprise as I witnessed my daughter’s unusual request. “I love Uncle Jackson too.” Jackson was taken aback, freezing for a couple of seconds until I nudged him to come back to his senses.

Before Jackson could even press the ball point on her skin, the curtain that boxed Rylynn’s space swung open, revealing a shadow that we all recognized.

Mark’s eyes were drowning in tears, his eye bags darker than they had ever been before. His already pale skin became a shade of white. He was a mess. I jumped on my feet abruptly once Mark stepped forward, running towards him and grabbing his shoulders. A spot of blood dripped out of the sleeve of his jacket, making my eyes dart in that direction. There was no doubt that he punched something without thinking again, perhaps out of anger for my mindless words and for the shocking news I had revealed earlier.

“Daddy!” called Rylynn with an expressive attitude to her voice, although it came out frail.

“Mark, what did you do to yourself?” I questioned sliding my hand from his shoulder to his bloody fist.

“Can I speak with Rylynn?” he ignored and requested with his husky voice in desperation. “Alone?”

“Mark, why did you hurt yourself?” I whispered, hiding his hand with my body to avoid scaring Rylynn.

“Just let me talk to Rylynn alone, please Lina.”

He was tearing up, his breath hitting my nose gently. My wrath from earlier had magically vanished as seeing Mark in that state was my weakness. I gave in and pulled his hand towards the sink, washing away the stains if blood to hide from Rylynn. After patting it dry with paper towel, I turned towards Jackson and pointed towards the open curtain, telling him to get out. He eyed me viciously, not agreeing with leaving Rylynn with his best friend, but finally made a move when I slapped him on the shoulder.

“Rylynn, I’ll be right outside with Uncle Jackson, your dad wants to speak with you alone,” I assured with a high pitched voice and kissing her on the cheek with much affection. Jackson rubbed Rylynn’s cheek and stood near the bed, staring at Mark with an aggressive glare, as if he wanted him dead.

I tugged on Jackson’s sleeve and pulled him out of their sight, hitting him on the chest. I took one last glance behind me, finding Mark picking Rylynn in his arms, carrying her, and allowing her chin to rest on his shoulder. Even if it felt weird seeing them like that, I figured that it would most likely be the last time he would get a chance to be with his daughter.

“Would you quit staring at him like that? Look, I know that you’re mad, but you don’t need to be such a hot head. Do you have anger managements?” I slapped my knuckles on Jackson’s forehead to calm him down.

“How can I not? That piece of crap doesn’t deserve to even be here.”

“If you don’t stop blurting out nonsense, I’ll bite you again,” I threatened. Loosening my claw on his wrist, I peeked past the curtain and into the room as I tried to listen to what the two were talking about, but I heard nothing. Mark whispered every syllable, Rylynn half listening, half asleep.

Jackson leaned forward, standing behind the curtain at a relatively close distance, pushing me close so we could get near the scene. We watched as Mark held Rylynn with such care that allowed him to represent the essence of how he once treated me, before everything fell apart.

After a moment of stillness and no movement, Jackson finally turned his back to the scene, avoiding looking at my daughter at all cost. It was obvious that he was on the verge of breaking down.

“I can’t do it anymore. I can’t watch this. I might kill someone.”

Jackson stood there for a good five minutes, facing the wall of the hallway in agony that brutally stung him inside. I came to the conclusion that it was useless to try to comfort him now.

Minutes past and Mark hadn’t stopped whispering in Rylynn’s ear, yet I still couldn’t depict a word coming out of his mouth. At some point, he began to speak gradually louder, even calling Rylynn’s name. I began to feel confused once Mark started to tap on her back and nudging her for a couple of seconds. After persistently shaking, Mark suddenly came to a halt and turned his eyes towards me. They were filled with fear and resent.

In that moment, I understood. Rylynn’s body pressed on Mark’s chest, her fingers loosening their grip, her head slipping off Mark’s shoulder. I froze, showing absolutely no emotion.

Without a word, Mark’s pretty, brown, pleading eyes didn’t lie. In her father’s arms, she left us.

***

“Noona, just sit down, we’ll take care of everything,” assured Bambam, shoving me down to sit on a pillow on front of a bowl of soup. My eyes scanned the hall that PD-nim rented for the funeral.

“But I have to serve the guests,” I protested, trying to force my way out.

“We got this noona!” he assured, referring to all GOT7 boys running around, greeting guests, cleaning tables and giving out food. Even if I promised myself to push through and hide my weak side, I failed miserably. Seeing the person I loved the most in the world lie dead in a coffin wasn’t exactly a situation that I could possibly, in any light, see in a positive way.

I stared at my food, not able to find any motivation to eat. My heart wasn’t even able to bear walking over to the coffin at the front to check on my daughter. Even if I accepted all of this to happen eventually, it was hard to believe, despite my mental preparation, that the moment had finally come.

Thankfully, all the boys were so helpful during the most difficult moment of my life. Although Mark and Jackson were still pretty out of it, I could sense that they were trying to stay strong, at least for the funeral. I got them to promise me that they wouldn’t fight and pretend to get along, just for today. That way, I would have one less thing to care about.

“Lina!” called Jaebum, tapping on my shoulder and bending his knees to the level I was sitting at. “You’re parents and sister are here.”

My eyes searched for my family as I swallowed all my tears and gulped it down my throat. Spotting them near the entrance, I hopped on my feet. They had booked an emergency flight and managed to get on a plane within a week.

“Thank you Jae Bum oppa, you didn’t have to cancel your schedules to come here, you know.”

“Don’t be silly. It is our obligation towards Rylynn to be here today.” Hearing my daughter’s name made my heart sink. “Lina, be strong. I know it’s hard, but we’re here for you. So cheer up. Smile. Oh by the way, you are much prettier than your sister. Just thought I’d point that out.” I bowed to acknowledge his warm encouragement, scoffed halfheartedly at his random remark, and proceeded to brush off the pain, making my way towards my parents. Before they could spot me, some people beat me to it, throwing their hands all over my parents in respect.

Jackson, being his friendly self, greeted them with care whereas Mark signaled them to move in the direction of the coffin.

“Yes, I believe we spoke a few years ago over the phone regarding your daughter,” introduced Jackson when approaching my mother.

I picked up the pace, jogging to stop them. I pushed both aside and squeezed my way between them to stop them from spilling out any more information.

“Mom!” I called, and for some reason began to tear up like a river once I threw myself in my mom’s arms. In turn, I moved to my father and sister’s side and welcomed them in the same manner. I didn’t normally show any affection towards them, but I didn’t care at this point. Jackson and Mark were sort of stunned, not really knowing how to react on front of them as it was such a sudden appearance. “How was the flight?”

“It was a pain. I couldn’t sleep because my heart was breaking for poor Rylynn,” she explained in a sleepy vibration in her voice. “You’re father here barely talked either. I don’t even know if I’m ready to see my granddaughter in this state without getting a heart attack.”

I addressed myself to the two boys who had awkwardly witnessed the reunion. “Jackson, can you go prepare three bowls of soup? And Mark, please take them to where Rylynn is.”

I covered my mouth, realizing that I said something wrong.

“Mark? Isn’t that the guy…?” began my sister, her jaw dropping to the floor.

“You’re the one who got my daughter pregnant?” my father recognized, raising his voice with every word.

Happy Reading! God Bless!