Chapter 16

We rode in the back of the ambulance, watching the paramedics examine Rylynn’s frail body. She was breathing heavily, her wet head tilted to the side. Jackson squeezed my fingers as I stood near the edge of the bed.

“What’s going on?” he asked, my entire focus still on Rylynn’s moans and quickly rising chest. Mark was standing behind the tall paramedic, seemingly in panic. I ignored Jackson, feeling his comforting fingers slide down my skin.

“Is she your sister?” asked the man holding the breathing mask. I nodded and moved forward to face him.

“She’s my daughter,” I answered, though I could see the tint of disgust that he was directed at me seeing how I was very young to be a mother. He quickly brushed it off with a tight glare and felt Rylynn’s pulse.

“I noticed that your child has lumps on her chest and abdomen. Has she been to the hospital to have this checked before?” he inquired, pulling up her frail body. My hands travelled away from Jackson’s and towards Rylynn’s as I wanted to burst into tears.

“It’s neuroblastoma,” I gave a short answer, clearing my throat from the lump that had been stuck there for quite a while. “She has neuroblastoma.” The man’s expression went dark, his glare from earlier went black, almost as if he felt sorry for me.

It pained me to admit it, but there was no hiding it now. Watching Rylynn twitch in pain the way she did made me forget that there was a secret to be kept.

“Neuroblastoma? Wait, isn’t that some sort of cancer?” mouthed Jackson, tugging on my sleeve and panicking with much urgency. At that very moment, the truck doors had opened as paramedics pulled out the sliding bedding out of the vehicle and into the hospital building. I followed from behind, eying my daughter, not knowing how to react.

“Lina, what’s wrong with Rylynn? What do you mean she has neuroblastoma” questioned Jackson, walking sideways, shoving his face in my way. I finally came to a halt once they brought Rylynn to the emergency room, slamming the grey doors in my face. Seeing that I wasn’t paying any attention to him, he grasped my wrists, pulled me aggressively and leaned forward to have our eyes at the same level. He gazed at me for a while, as if to search for my complete sincerity.

“Lina, tell me you were joking when you said that Rylynn has neuroblastoma. Please!”

His eyes were filled with hope that everything was going to be okay. Mark had slowly crept up to the side, shuffling his feet on the ground, and staring right at the floor. He had not uttered a word since we had left the music station and he seemed completely out of it at this point. It was now or never.

“Rylynn’s going to die, Jackson,” I said clearly, enunciating at every word, while letting out a sigh of despair. My gaze scanned the two boys who stood in utter distress. Jackson’s eyes grew wider than I had ever seen them before. His lips quivered and shook as his voice struggled to escape his mouth. Mark, on the other end, lost complete sense in his feet, even leaning against the wall to keep balance. His hands gripped on the fabric of his shirt as his breathing became shallow.

“H-how?” began Jackson, sweat draining down his brow. “How can that… Lina, would you quit fooling around? I hate it when you joke around like that.”

“Can you quit thinking that I’m messing around all the time?” I shouted, raising my arms in the air. “Why would I joke about my only child dying? Sometimes I wish I could just twist your neck and hit you across the face a few hundred times, because you’re stupid and I hate you, Jackson.”

My head turned towards Mark, who didn’t seem to be in a good state.

“And you!” I screamed past Jackson, and directed my frustration towards Mark. “I hate you! This is all your fault. Everything is your fault! None of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t been such an in the first place!” My head was about to explode as I held in my tears as much as I could. Mark finally managed to lift his eyes from a daze and stare at me with a sorrow like no other. He pushed his weight back on his toes and walked down the hallways, far away from me as possible. I could sense the resentment, the pain, the regret.

I suddenly felt my body wrapped in a tight embrace once my knees dropped low and almost hit the ground. Jackson’s fingers circled my waist gently, as I watched Mark disappear past the mob of nurses.

“Why does that idiot always make me feel like crap?” I muttered, putting everything in my power to calm down as my chest rose uncontrollably. I felt a pulling towards Mark, telling me to go after him, but I couldn’t seem to move out of fury.

Looking back at Jackson, my heart softened seeing him tear up, barely listening to anything I was complaining about. In the rare occasion that Jackson cried, I always felt scared and sort of angry at myself for making a guy bawl. He stared at the emergency room that Rylynn had gone into with the rabble of doctors treating her.

Taking a few breathes to bring myself back to my senses; I realized that both Jackson and Mark must have been taking this news just as roughly as I did when I first heard it. In reality, at that moment, I wasn’t at all in shock because I knew that Rylynn would eventually pass away, but I was more upset that the day that I least anticipated had finally come.

Taking a few steps at his side, I swallowed all the tears that were on the edge of my eyelid, holding myself strong to avoid making matters worse. I gave him a few minutes to daze off before intervening and breaking the ice.  He looked terrible, as if he had been told that it was his own child that was going to die.

“How did you manage to run so fast anyway? Half your is practically spilling out of your pants,” I remarked randomly, trying to lightened the mood.

“You’re not funny, Lina,” responded Jackson, not even trying to hide his tears. I decided to pull on his wrist to get him to sit down and listen. I slipped my fingers between his and squeezed them tightly. His eyes were bloodshot, his face was pale and his lips were dry.

“You weren’t even supposed to find out,” I began, biting my bottom lip.

“How long ago did you know?” he cut me off before I could go on.

“She’s been sick for a long time, but we only found out when she was over a year old. By then, the cancer was in her spinal area and couldn’t be removed by surgery. At that point, things just got worse.”

“So there really is no hope? You’re just going to give up?” His voice cracked as it exited his throat. I nodded, my eyes not leaving him for a second.   

“I had no choice to accept that she wasn’t going to survive. She stopped going to the hospital three months ago. There was nothing they could do there anymore.” I paused for a second, letting him process all the information first.  “Rylynn wanted to see her father,” I whispered dimly, trying to hold myself up on my own. “That’s why I came here as a last minute resort. I wanted to make sure that she met her father before she died.”

I could feel his limbs shake.

“I wasn’t planning on telling you originally, but things just happened that way. I thought that I could just go back home after this and never come back. That way, nobody would ever know that she was sick. Nobody would ever get hurt.”

“So you wanted to deal with all this by yourself? Did you really think that Mark would forget about you? That I would forget about you and not care for the rest of my life? Are you stupid?”

My guard dropped, shutting my eyes, not wanting to hear any more.

“Ya! I am stupid. So what? I can do whatever I want. Neither of you two have any right over my daughter anyway!” I fought back, my eyes growling. I held my face but inches away from his at a pretty uncomfortable position. Before he could utter a word in response, a doctor came cruising through the door and stood on front of us.

“How is she?” I asked, letting go of my grip on Jackson and pushing past him.

“I’m assuming that you already understand what’s going on…” the doctor made sure.

“Perfectly,” I confirmed with assurance, almost forgetting ever conversing with Jackson in the first place. The doctor held a document in his hand and took a step closer.

“Then you wouldn’t at all be surprised if I told you that things aren’t looking all too good at the moment,” he said with a regretful tone. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I tried to keep myself from crying.

“She doesn’t have much time left, does she?” I asked, already knowing the answer. He nodded, even more remorseful that he already was.

“I’m afraid not. I’m sorry,” I took a deep breath to contain all the bitterness.

“Thank you for letting me know,” I responded only partly in my right mind.

“Are you kidding me? What kind of doctor are you anyway? If she’s sick, it’s your job to do something,” fought Jackson, pushing his way towards the specialist. My arms went around his torso to pull him back from going further in his frustration.

“Would you calm down idiot? You’re making me nervous!” I shouted in his ear. My chin went over his shoulder as he shoved some more.

“This incompetent brat that calls himself a doctor can’t even do his job properly,” he stated aggressively, his muscles tensing up like crazy. My head tilted to the side as my lips were pressed to his neck. I could feel his tears drop all over my blazer. The doctor apologized, giving out a bow and walking away to give us a moment.

Jackson took three steps forward, harassing the doctor as he stepped away from us. I pressed against his chest to keep him down from advancing. His perspiration made his shirt soak in his sweat.

“Stop blaming everything on innocent people. Do you even have a brain? I just told you that the doctors can’t do anything for her anymore!”

I bit him. It was the only way to get him to stop twitching. My teeth left a red mark on the side of his neck as he gasped in pain.

“Are you insane?” he screeched, pushing me away from him and pressing on the blot left on his neck with his fingers. He was catching his breath from all the sobbing. I had never once seen him cry so carelessly before; to the extent that he seemed completely out of it. His hair went in all directions, the contour of his eyes swelling in a bright red color.

It looked pitiful almost.

“Jackson, what are you crying for? You have no reason to cry.” I asked, almost in a whisper.

“What do you mean? I have every reason to cry. My daughter is dying!”

At his words, my heart couldn’t help but flutter. I didn’t know what to feel about Jackson calling my daughter his own. It was the first time he had ever sincerely made that clear to me.

“I don’t understand you, Jackson. Normal guys leave their girlfriends if they found out that their girl accidentally got pregnant, whereas you’re claiming to be Rylynn’s father even if she isn’t really yours. You’re crazy!”

“Lina, for as long as Rylynn is your child, I will always consider her to be mine regardless of what anyone says.”

“But Mark…” He cut me off before I could finish.

“I don’t care about Mark. He doesn’t mean anything to me anymore,” he expressed with hatred and anger gushing out of his eyes. I had never seen him so angry at his best friend the way his face conveyed it. It scared me. “I just love Rylynn so much. I thought that even if I couldn't love you because it would upset too many people, at least I could love her and that would be enough. But even that I won't be able to do, because she's freaking dying. And it's killing me inside!”

His heart was breaking.  

Hey! Hope everyone is doing well.

Well sorry for making things turn out this way. :(

The end is nearing quickly.

Sorry for not updating in a while. Blame it on GOT7 and their comeback.  "A" is my new obsession.  I'm so hooked to that song, it's insane.

God Bless you All! Thank you!