Chapter 11

I carried Rylynn’s tiny body and dragged my suitcase out of the plane, entering the Korean airport with a sigh. The air was the same as I had left it four years ago.

Rylynn moved around in my arms, looking in every direction with excitement.

I took my phone out of my pocket, and began to call Park Jin Young PD-nim for that ride he promised.

“PD-nim.” I had never gotten out of the habit of calling him that, even if I wasn’t even part of the company anymore. “Where are you? We just got out of the plane.”

“A driver should be waiting for you once you get out. Just look around a bit. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be there myself,” he apologized sounding a bit resentful.

I scanned the area and found a man with a blue shirt holding up a sign with my name on it.

“Found him,” I confirmed before hanging up. I marched over to the driver as he helped me with my bags. After loading them into the company van, I made Rylynn sit next to me in the backseat. She was twitching in anticipation, not being able to sit still for even a second. Her legs swung back and forth, her bum making the whole car shake almost. I held onto her waist as there was no car seat for children and fixed the two braids dropping to the side of either shoulder.

Looking around, I came to the realization that it was sunny, warm, and beautiful.

“Ahjussi,” I called out in my rusty korean while he was driving. “Are you bringing us straight to the hotel?”

He nodded from the rearview mirror, giving out a warm smile. I sat back, trying to stop my body from dying of anxiety. The thought of being back in the place I was , the place where I was heartbroken, the place where I cried against my will more times than I could remember.

The drive wasn’t too too long, but long enough for Rylynn to become restless in her seat.

“Mommy, are we going to see daddy yet?” she asked in anticipation, even throwing her doll to the side because she was so excited. I nodded explaining that we were going to the hotel. I didn’t want to destroy her hopes so I avoided telling her that we were probably not going to even see her father, whichever one that may be.

Eventually, we drove into a familiar street, making my heart beat twice as fast. The JYP building was right on front of my very own eyes, the front poster pasted with 2pm, 2am, WonderGirls, MissA, 15&, Baek Ayeon, Sunmi, and… GOT7. GOT7, Rylynn’s favorite group ironically, although she didn’t know that one of them was her father. She was naturally drawn to them for some reason as much as I didn’t want that to happen. Her favorite was Bambam, and thankfully not someone else.

It had been 2 years since GOT7 had debuted in Korea, two years after I left.  

The car came to a stop on front of the posters of the JYP building, causing Rylynn to speak endlessly. The engine stopped rumbling, making me sort of confused as to why the car had stopped here when we were supposed to go to the hotel.

“Ahjussi, why did we stop? Is there something wrong?” I asked, leaning forward, holding onto Rylynn’s hand.

“Park JinYoung texted me a few minutes ago telling me to bring you directly here instead of the hotel. He wants to see you, I guess,” he explained, opening his door and leaving way for me to get out of the backseat. Seeing the front door of the building that I used to come in and out of regularly made me want to puke.

“Mommy! Look! My favorite groups!” She lifted her head to look at the huge poster above her, beating me out of the car. “GOT7! Look GOT7!”

I froze. Then I trembled.

“Rylynn stay with me,” I said, unable to budge from my seat until the driver put the suitcases on front of the open car door for me to take. Finally, I gathered up the courage to get out of the vehicle.

“Park Jin Young said that he is in a meeting right now and that you should wait inside. He will come get you in half an hour.”

I bowed, still in utter shock. I was not prepared mentally to come back here just yet. I was practically praying that the GOT7 boys were not around. Even if I didn’t want to, my body began to move mechanically, dragging both the bags and Rylynn towards the front door. Though my brain was telling me to run away, my feet forced me into the building like a magnet drawing another one to itself.

The guards stepped aside, letting me passed as if they already knew who I was. The main hall didn’t change all that much, with a few tweaks here and there. Rylynn was pulling me in as I was too dazed to resist. The sofa where I used to study my Korean was still there surprisingly, in the corner of the room, bringing back old memories of Jackson leaving me a drink on the arm of my chair.

Even though I was told to wait in the main hall, my body kept moving forward towards the stairs. I picked up Rylynn and began to climb up the first flight that I used to dread going up.

I mindlessly made it to the recording rooms, the floor where I had always felt a sense of comfort. It made me miss singing, hearing all the wonderful voices echoing throughout the studios. Rylynn pulled me across the hallway, too fast for me to handle. She eventually broke free from my grip, running on her own.

“Rylynn! Get back here!’ I shouted across the room, walking a tad bit faster.

“Lina noona?” I heard a familiar voice behind me, causing my heart to almost stop, even forgetting that I was chasing my hyperactive child. I turned towards the open door behind me and saw Yugyeom walking over. I wasn’t sure if it was excitement or anxiety that took over me in that moment.

“Yugyeom!” I whispered, my voice not being able to fully come out of my throat.

“What are you doing here? It’s been so long!” He had a big smile plastered on his face, though in reality, I was trying to get a glimpse behind him to see who else was in the room. Before I knew it, Bambam was coming over to embrace me as well.

Thinking that the two other figures behind them were Mark and Jackson, my eyes grew.

“Who is this?” asked the one who I finally recognized as JB. I had only ever cross paths with him years ago. My chest released the pressure it had mustered from my beating heart, knowing that it wasn’t who I was worried about.

“This is Lina. She used to be a trainee here, remember,” explained Bambam, stepping aside and revealing me to the rest of them. “The one who Mark and Jackson… You know…” He trailed off.

“Oh so you’re the one who Jackson and Mark used to fight over! I heard about you,” proclaimed a voice coming from across the room. It was Jr, who was getting up from the piano bench along with Youngjae. It was weird not seeing them on a computer screen. Like the boys I already knew, they were extremely good looking. It was no wonder that they were added to the group right after I left.

“Yah! Hyung, you can’t go around saying that!” warned Yugyeom frowning. Jr ignored the remark and abandoned the piano.

“I’m Jr. by the way. Looks like you ran away before we could meet a few years ago.” His smile was heartwarming and reassuring when he addressed himself to me. His clothing stood out as unique, artistic and different. “This is JB hyung and Youngjae.”

I bowed, in part to cover up my trembling fingers.

“I know. I’ve been following you guys since you debuted. I’m a fan of yours,” I beamed, though the circles of boys around me made me feel sort of uncomfortable. “And so is…”

It struck me when I was about to pronounced her name that Rylynn wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

“Just a sec…” I began to panic, walking out of the room and scrambling with my bags, struggling to get across the hallway. I slapped myself internally, feeling stupid for forgetting about my own daughter because I was nervous about a bunch of ba-

That bastard… His dark hair with spots of lighter strands covered his face slightly, giving him a bad boy overall look. Jackson Wang. Yes, that bastard… was standing before me. His jaw dropped slightly at my presence, his stare giving me shivers across my spine seeing that he had grown so much since the last time we saw each other.

My gaze trailed to the girl beside him, around whom he rested his arm. I quickly recognized her as being Nayeon, giving out a much more mature vibe than she had a few years ago. Her eyes grew in shock as well.

Their show of affection sort of threw me off guard, causing me to make an unintended face of disgust. Jackson pointed at me, stuttering in wonder.

“Lina, wh-wha-what?” Not being able to finish his sentence, he dropped the arm resting on Nayeon’s shoulder and moved slightly forward.

“I-I don’t have time to talk to you right now,” I said coldly, feeling sort of annoyed. I wasn’t quite sure why I was feeling this way. It might’ve been due to his letter full of lies, maybe even the fact that he hadn’t once spoken to me since I left, nor did he come visit me as he had promised. Seeing him all touchy with Nayeon was the perfect cherry on top.

How could he come to my dorm before I left Korea, hold me and kiss me the way he did, write me a letter, and then ignore me for the rest of our days? He shouldn’t have given me false hope the way he did.

If I wasn’t in public, I would’ve probably hit him by now.

“Someone’s in a bad mood,” he teased, laughing a bit at my coldness. I clearly did not find anything funny, rolling my eyes and moving past him and pushing on his torso with my arm in the process. Jackson watched me walk by, his smile disappearing seeing I was furious. After giving him a powerful glare one last time, I proceeded in my determined search for my daughter.

A couple of steps away from Jackson, I lifted my eyes, ready to scan the hallway to find a little girl roaming around on her own. But to my surprise, the little girl I was searching for was coming towards me… in the arms of a man.

A man… Her father.

As Mark and I came in eye contact, not a word was uttered, not a sound heard. Though we didn’t say anything, we both knew that I wasn’t too please to see him. I blinked a few times seeing Rylynn with her biological father.

Mark held Rylynn with a gentleness like no other, his arm wrapped around the legs and his other hand making sure she wouldn’t flip backwards. He was even more handsome than I remember.

“Mommy! I found Mark ahjussi, your favorite GOT7 member!” she proclaimed shamelessly. I twitched as she held onto Mark’s neck and hugged him tighter.

“Mommy?” whispered Mark, whose gaze jumped from me to Rylynn over and over. I was in trouble.

“Sweety, come here. We have to go.” Was the only excuse from getting out of the situation.

“B-but...”

“Mark is very busy. You don’t want to bother Mark when he’s going to record an important song, do you?”

Rylynn nodded, frowned, her guard dropping down. Mark let her land safely on her feet, his eyes still fixated on me. Looking around a few times, I pulled Rylynn away, trying to get us  out of the awkward situation that would inevitably leave Mark suspicious.

They both looked almost alike, and I didn’t want anyone to see that.

I sped down the stairs that I had come from, struggling to carry all my belongings with Rylynn in my arms as well. She remained quiet until we got at the bottom of the stairs, her face hiding in the crack between my shoulder and neck. Though she was disappointed that she couldn’t meet her favorite group in the world, I knew that it was best to leave in a situation like that.

“Lina!” I heard a shout behind me. I ignored it and continued walking, knowing exactly who it was. “Are you even listening to me?”

“WHAT!?!” I said, clearly irritated. Jackson jolted backwards with my sudden burst of emotion.

“I just wanted you to slow down, jeez.” His idiom was calm, laid back and confident as he had always been.

“Oh! Now you decide to talk me…” Both of us were locked in a long and dramatic silence. He knew exactly what I meant by that, his eyes filled with guilt dropping for a second.

“Actually, I came to talk to this young lady,” said Jackson referring to the tiny child in my arms. I scoffed, annoyed at his distance. Clearly, he was trying to test my patience. “What’s you’re name, pumpkin?”

A smile lit up her face once Jackson spoke to her.

“Rylynn…” she answered.

“Rylynn?” Repeated Jackson, his eyebrows raised.

“Yes. My mom said that she named me after my dad’s favorite song.”

Jackson turned his gaze to me again, resting it there for a long time. His lip curled up in a discrete smile, almost unnoticeable at first sight. I bit my lip, almost worried about how much more Rylynn was going to reveal. This is exactly what I was afraid of.

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