It's like you're my mirror, My mirror staring back at me

“Kangin hyung!” Hyukjae exclaimed. He was waving his arms to Kangin excitedly, relieved that a familiar face appeared right when he was unsure of what to do next. He had just arrived in front of the dorm’s building and was wondering how he was going to get into the dorm without breaking any laws.

“Annyeonghaseyo!” Kangin exclaimed back enthusiastically while doing a 90 degree bow.

Hyukjae was puzzled on why his Kangin hyung was greeting him informally but he was too ecstatic to worry about that. He sprinted towards Kangin and hugged him tightly.

“Hyung! I am so happy to see you! You remember me right? Please tell me you remember me!” Hyukjae’s questions were shooting Kangin before he even had a chance to answer any of them.

“Err, Elf?” Kangin raised his eyebrows, his expression was full of hope that his guess would be right.

Hyukjae let out a huge sigh. “You don’t remember me.” The sound of disappointment made Kangin felt slightly guilty.

“I am sorry, there are just too many ELF. Why don’t you tell me your name? I will give my autograph and I will try my very best to remember your name, ok?” Kangin said.

Hyukjae glanced at Kangin, somehow touched by the kind offer. However, he could not hide his disappointed face.

“Its ok, thank you.” Hyukjae uttered and started was to walk away. He felt his head and shoulders heavier and somehow could not gather enough strength to stand tall.

“Hey wait!” Kangin yelled as he ran after Hyukjae. “Are you ok? You look pale.”

Hyukjae looked up and glanced at the concerned Kangin. He smiled weakly. “I am fine hyung, thank you for asking, you are always so full of concern of everyone.” He smiled weakly.

“Do you want some water?”

“No thanks….but can you help me with something else?” Hyukjae asked.

“Sure, if its something within my means, I will.” Kangin answered.

“Please take extra care of Donghae for me will you?” Hyukjae sighed.  “He tends to be clumsy and often forgets his things. Its lying around everywhere and I can’t be there to remind him anymore. Just remind him to write the important stuffs down. Oh, and when he gets inspirations, tell him to jot it down in that pretty notebook of his, with his name on it.” Hyukjae reminded Kangin.

Kangin eyed at Hyukjae suspiciously. “Errr, ok, I will.” Kangin paused and inspected Hyukjae’s face. “You are a big fan of Donghae?”

Hyukjae chuckled and revealed his gummy smile. “I guess....Please, you need to remind him about his car keys too. He often misplaces them and often had to trouble manager hyung.”

“Wow, you really care about him. Oh well, he is very handsome and one of the more popular members.” Kangin smiled widely. “I will pass this message on to him. Thank you, I am sure he appreciates such concerns.”

“Oh, one more thing hyung, be careful if you go out with your girlfriend ok? Perhaps it’s a good idea not to go out in the day? There are just too many eyes watching.”

Kangin’s dropped jaw, shocked by the words that were just released from Hyukjae’s mouth.

“What did you just said? How …..how did you….?”  

“Long story.” Hyukjae sighed. “Please be strong for the rest, they need you now since Teukie hyung is away in army.” Hyukjae lightly tapped Kangin’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you are dating.”

“Take care!” Hyukjae yelled as he walked off leaving the disturbed Kangin blinking his eyes in disbelief.

“He must be a sasaeng!! How else would he know all those details?!” Heechul snapped as soon as Kangin finish talking. He was back in the dorms and was relating to Heechul his bizarre encounter with this male fan.

Upon reaching the dorms, Kangin immediately sat down next to Heechul who was lounging on the sofa lazily watching his Korean drama. Heechul is seldom out if he does not have a schedule. He preferred staying indoor to play with his games, his cat and watch television.

Since Heechul was just released from the army, he had lesser schedule then the rest.

Kangin frowned and shook his head. “He does not seem like a sasaeng to me. For instance, he appeared relaxed and casual when he spoke to me, like, it’s a usual thing. The weird thing was, I was also quite comfortable with him, I did not feel like he was suspicious or anything like that.”

“You are crazy. Please don’t get too close to strangers next time! Especially weird ones like this!” Heechul snapped and pushed Kangin’s head, reprimanding him.

“Hyung, do you think he is one of Donghae’s fan boys? He seemed really concerned about him.”

“Maybe. I don’t know, that boy is too pretty, of course all the crazy sasaeng fans belong to him.” Heechul uttered without taking his eyes from the television.

“Look who is talking. All the sasaengs started from you…..you and all your crazy fan services.” Kangin replied. “I am warning you. Never ever kiss me on the lips or I will punch and disfigure your pretty face forever.”

Heechul burst out laughing. “Ok ok….I get it. Don’t worry, I am older and more matured after leaving the army. Anyway, you know me, I have a girlfriend!”

“You mean that pillow of yours….hmm…ok THAT is your girlfriend. This is absolutely normal.” Kangin scoffed.

“Yah!! She is the best girlfriend I ever had ok!” Heechul argued.

“What’s going on? I can hear you two hyungs from outside. Fighting again?” Donghae entered the dorm. He was dressed in black blazer with his hair styled up and his make still fresh on his baby face.

“Donghae!! Good that you are home. Your hyung met with one of your saesang fans today. Just now Kangin - ” Heechul announced.

“Aish, let me be the one to tell him!” Kangin interrupted Heechul, placing his palm onto Heechul mouth to prevent him from saying more. Heechul was well known for spilling beans.

“Oh?” Donghae looked surprised and turned to Kangin. “Really?”

“Hmm..yes? I don’t know. It was weird. Did anyone followed you around recently?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.” Donghae shrugged his shoulders.

“Aish this kid. He NEVER notices anything!” Heechul interrupted again.

Donghae laughed gleefully. “Hyung, there are so many fans, how could I notice?”

“It’s a guy. You have a sasaeng fanboy.” Kangin said, wearing a serious expression.

Donghae laughed even louder. “What?! Hyung, are you sure? Perhaps he is just a fanboy, not a sasaeng. Hyung, you two always exaggerate.” Donghae answered calmly.

“No no no… he is different! He…” Kangin was about to explain when Donghae signaled him to stop.

“Hyung, no offence. Later ok? I have to rush back out, I came home because I forgot something and manager hyung is waiting for me downstairs in the car.” Donghae started walking into his room, leaving his two hyung to shook their head and stare at him with a concerned look.

Donghae turned the knob of the door to his room and strolled in. He headed straight to his study table, where his pretty notebook was lying on it. He carried it into his hands and smiled to himself. For some reason, he has grown so attached to the notebook. It was a safe place for him to write his thoughts, his insecurities and his feelings. He preferred writing down his thoughts rather than talking about it to the members. He was not known as the most eloquent and sometimes he does stutter whenever he is expected to answer interview questions quickly.

Which is the main reason why he disliked doing interviews alone. Being with the members was a good way for him to camouflage behind them. Being an emcee was out of the question for him, he preferred acting and composing songs quietly.

He opened his notebook carefully, not wanting to destroy it with his well-known ‘iron’ hands. He turned to the last page he wrote on the night before and reread what he wrote.

Still you

Still you, you, you, I haven’t forgotten you (only you)

Still you, you, you, I’m still the same, yeah

Am I hurting? (I am hurting)

I don’t know (I don’t know), oh no yeah (Cause baby I say)

He ran his fingers down the page and sighed. He had no idea where this verse came from, the words just flew to him as if he was writing this about someone. Whereas in actual fact, he was not. Sure, the fans did ship him with Siwon and often call them the ‘SiHae’ couple but all those were merely fan services. Siwon was clearly straight even though he likes to display his affection to the members openly. Since the fans love it so much, they started doing more, just to tease them and make them happy. It was all an act, it was not real.

Donghae closed the notebook, suddenly remembering that his manager hyung was waiting for him downstairs. He gets lost in his thoughts so easily, was hard to stay focus. He strolled to the mirror to check his face and hair before leaving. His hair was neatly styled but some strands were loose so he pushed it back where it was supposed to be. Out of the blue, an image of man appeared in the mirror. The man looked like he was standing behind Donghae in the mirror. Shocked, he turned his back to check but the man was not there. His image was only in the mirror and he appeared faded, but Donghae could clearly see his full figure and face.

Donghae frowned and rubbed his eyes profusely to make sure he was not seeing things. He looked back into the mirror and the man in the mirror was still there, standing at the same position he was before. For some reason, he was not afraid, he was not worried that the ghostly figure might hurt or disturb him. In fact, he was curious on who he was.

The man in the mirror stared at Donghae with a gentle gaze and smiled widely at him, revealing his gummy smile. His smiled was friendly, assuring and almost familiar.

“Who are you?” Donghae asked.

The man smiled even wider than before, still shooting him with the same soft look. Donghae frowned, baffled by the appearance of the man in the mirror. He lifted his arms up to touch the mirror when he heard a loud thud behind him.

Someone just slammed his door opened.

“Donghae!! What is taking so long?!”

Donghae turned his back. It was manager hyung.

He turned back to look at the mirror but the man in the mirror was now gone, leaving only his own reflection in the mirror.

“Errr…hyung…did you see that?” Donghae stuttered, still unsure whether what he saw was real.

“Saw what?”

“The man, in the mirror….” Donghae explained as he pointed his fingers to the mirror.

Manager hyung stepped closer towards him and inspected the mirror. He turned to look at Donghae.

“Very funny, let's go, we are running late.” He said as he grabbed Donghae by the arm and started to drag him towards the door.

“But hyung…there was someone in the mirror…..” Donghae’s words trailed as he was dragged out of his room.

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Hello everyone!! Yes, I am still alive!! I am really sorry for the delay in updating after I came back from overseas. I was sick (again!) and work was really crazy. Plus I kinda lost inspiration since D&E concert in Japan started since reality is suddenly better than fiction. Lol. A lot of eunhae fic writers wanna give up writing after reading the happenings at honeymoon concert! Hahaa...

Anyway since i have not updated in a long time, I struggled with this chapter slightly. I can't seem to write as smoothly so if this chapter , sorry. I will get back into momentum.

Hope to hear from everyone! I have never not updated for more than a month! (If you have been reading my previous fics you would know I ALWAYS update at least once a week.) Tiil next update, talk to me!!! Haha.