“I’m sorry about earlier.”

Tiffany turned her head to Jessica, but the latter didn’t stare back at her. They were sitting side by side in a bus, heading to Tiffany’s apartment. Tiffany was feeling not good after they ended their kiss in the most awkward situation ever. Just when Tiffany thought things would get better, Jessica suddenly changed into a different person, again.

Jessica was bipolar. Tiffany didn’t really know if it happened just because Jessica was with her or not, but this woman is annoyingly bipolar. One moment she was being her, the real her that Tiffany started to accept, but the next moment she was back in being a very kind woman, just like in their first two meetings, and that confused Tiffany for sure.

One moment she was pinning Tiffany into the wall and kissing her until no end, but look at her now. Keeping a distance in between them, looking down to her feet and didn’t dare to look at Tiffany. She was so much different from before.

“Why? Do you think it was a mistake?”

Hearing that made Jessica brought her gaze to Tiffany. She exhaled slowly, her fingers intertwining with one another.

“Don’t you think?” She asked back.

“I asked you first.” Tiffany insisted.

Jessica turned her head to the window, avoiding Tiffany’s eyes, “Well… you probably didn’t expect that. I was being inappropriate and uh… kind of crossed the line?”

Tiffany kept staring at Jessica and realized the latter seemed nervous. She was like a young teenager talking to her long-awaited crush or something. Tiffany then chuckled lowly. Jessica was undoubtedly amusing.

“Why are you laughing?” Jessica asked with a frown.

“Because you’re cute.”

“H-huh?”

“You’re cute, Jessica.”

Jessica scoffed and avoided Tiffany’s eyes again, trying to hold her smile. She hates being called cute. Tiffany still remembers how often she used to tease Jessica by calling her cute and stuff. Jessica usually would be angry and the only way to cheer her up was giving her an apologetic kiss that only Tiffany knew how.

Good, good times.

“No.” Jessica mumbled.

Tiffany smiled, “Do you really miss me?”

The older woman kept her head down, trying to hide her smile from Tiffany but the latter caught it. And again, Tiffany found another reason to call Jessica cute.

“I do.” Jessica then nodded, smiling at Tiffany, “Like I said, you don’t know how much I’ve missed you.”

“So it wasn’t a mistake, then. You don’t have to apologize.”

Jessica’s smile faded and she stared questioningly at Tiffany, but the latter paid no attention at it as she sneaked her hand around Jessica’s left arm and leaned her head on Jessica’s shoulder. Jessica gasped.

Neither of them knew what was actually happening between them at the moment. It all started with an unfortunate kiss which ended abruptly as both of them pulled away from each other, realized they were basically no more than strangers. The unexpected confession remained questionable as Jessica started acting strange, as if she just made the most unforgivable mistake ever. And it tortured Tiffany, at facing how confusing Jessica was.

“What--”

“Don’t say a word.” Tiffany mumbled, eyes closed, “Please, let it be like this.”

Jessica was left stunned, before she finally relaxed. Tiffany was there with her. She was next to her, leaning her head on Jessica’s shoulder, what kind of dreams come true was it? Jessica then tilted her head to Tiffany’s and she stared at the window. A blissful smile plastered on her face because it, apparently, wasn’t a dream.

It was her fault indeed until the point where she sees Tiffany as a mere fantasy.

-

Hopelessly in love teenagers going on their first date, that’s probably the best description of both of them.

Jessica walked Tiffany until her apartment’s front door. They didn’t talk at all. None of them had something in mind to talk to. Actually they had, tons of them, but no guts existed. Like what Tiffany said, let it be. There’s still next time anyway.

“So…” Jessica finally started with an awkward smile when they had reached the apartment, “I guess it’s my time to go.”

No.

Tiffany pressed her lips to one another when she took some steps forward to Jessica and wrapped her arms around Jessica’s neck, hugging her tight. Once again Jessica gasped, her body went frozen. Tiffany closed her eyes as Jessica’s scent entered her nostrils, her cheek touched Jessica’s jaw, when surreal things became this real.

“Stay.”

Jessica kept silent. She wasn’t in her right minds to think straight.

“I miss you too, Jessica. Please, stay?”

The older woman was about to say something but all she could mutter was another gasp as she felt Tiffany’s lips brushing her jawline softly, making the world suddenly stopped spinning around her. That was funny, remembering the fact that she had kissed Tiffany before this and yet a simple peck could make her forget her everything but Tiffany in a moment.

“Please?” Tiffany whispered right on Jessica’s ear.

“O-okay…” Jessica nodded, even though she was still hesitant.

Tiffany then smiled brightly and let go of the hug. Grabbing Jessica’s wrist, she pulled her and said, “Let’s go, I have ice cream.”

Jessica’s smile re-appeared at the magic words. She nodded and followed Tiffany’s pull willingly, didn’t exactly know if it was because of ice cream or not. Things were getting less awkward for them as they entered Tiffany’s room. Jessica’s eyes scanned every corner of it, feeling so much familiar with the sight.

Soon they found themselves sitting across each other on the dining table. Each of them were holding a spoon, eating the coffee flavoured ice cream together. Tiffany had changed her clothes to pink pyjamas, as what Jessica had guessed. Meanwhile Jessica still had her shirt on but she changed her jeans to a not too short shorts Tiffany gave her.

“Tell me about it, you’d still prefer ice cream to cigarettes, am I right?”

Jessica chuckled. She lips and then bit it lightly, “I guess so…”

Tiffany then pouted and tilted her head cutely, “Then why do you smoke?”

“I know I should stop, but… well, I’ve tried once actually. But it didn’t work, so…” She shrugged.

“If I asked you to stop, would you?”

Jessica plunged a spoonful of ice cream into first before she playfully hummed, “I don’t know…”

“Jessica…” Tiffany whined, “give me your cigarette now.” She suddenly extended her hand.

“What?” Jessica frowned, clearly didn’t want to.

“Come on. Give it to me, your remaining ones.” Tiffany kept demanding.

“Alright.” Jessica gave up, reaching her jeans and took the pack of cigarette from its pocket. She then unwillingly gave it to Tiffany.

Tiffany smiled proudly before she cringed seeing there was only one untouched cigarette inside it. That pack had probably six until ten cigarettes and there was only one left. Tiffany sighed, but Jessica was back in busy eating ice cream.

“I’m not asking you to stop.” Tiffany said.

“Huh?”

“Well, I actually am but for now, I’m just asking you to reduce it.”

Jessica gulped the ice cream in silence before she hesitantly nodded.

“Promise?” Tiffany shoved her pinkie.

“What?” Jessica laughed at how silly it was.

“Come on, pinkie promise me first.”

Jessica sighed but she gave up anyway as she hooked their pinkies together, “Alright, pinkie promise.”

They then laughed together, silently realizing how they missed each other’s laughs.

-

“Yoong is probably my favourite dongsaeng in this whole world. You know, her antics and stuffs never failed in amusing me. She always has that charm in cheering me up every time I’m feeling down. She’s the type who doesn’t think much about her life and just letting it flow. I kind of envy her because of that…”

Tiffany listened to Jessica’s story with light nods. They were already on Tiffany’s bed, with Jessica sitting straight, her back on the wall, and Tiffany was lying on her back. They’ve shared many, many random stories to each other. And the story about Yoona was one of those. Tiffany likes Yoona, so she was excited in listening to Jessica.

“I guess she’s like, one of a kind.” Jessica chuckled.

“I think so too!” Tiffany added, “I only met her once and I already like her. That’s rare. Does she have a girlfriend? Or boyfriend, maybe?”

Jessica hummed, “I think she had one girl, months ago. She’s not a player, even though a lot of people think so. She’s just being kind to everyone. Because she’s pretty, a lot of people want to be with her, and she being kind is sometimes misinterpreted. Her job also doesn’t help much because she meets a lot of people, mostly desperate ones. That’s why.”

“I see… she must’ve been frustrated by it.”

“Err… not really.” Jessica shook her head, “Like I said, she doesn’t think much. But once she builds a relationship, she’s serious about it. That’s just too bad none of them lasted long. The longest one was probably… four months?”

Tiffany chuckled, “That’s the longest one?”

“Yeah.” Jessica smiled, “That brat.”

Both of them went into a comfortable silence that would’ve been perfect without the tickling noise of the clock. Suddenly Tiffany yawned, indirectly telling Jessica that she was already sleepy. Jessica smiled.

“You’re tired. You should sleep.”

Tiffany nodded then she tugged on Jessica’s shirt, “Yeah, we should sleep.”

Jessica’s smile faded, “You’re okay if I sleep here? I mean, I can sleep on the couch or--”

“Jessica.” Tiffany pouted, “Please?”

The older woman then smiled, knew she didn’t have any power to resist this woman. So she lied down, hugging Tiffany from behind. She reached the thick blanket and covered them both with it. Tiffany hummed a goodnight before she closed her eyes. Jessica kept silent. She bit her lip as she whispered,

“Tiffany?”

Tiffany only hummed and turned her head slightly to Jessica.

Jessica then leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Tiffany’s forehead. Tiffany’s eyes widened. They stayed like that for a while until Jessica pulled back, hummed another goodnight, and told Tiffany to go to sleep.

Tiffany obeyed. Smiling, she closed her eyes. She ignored her questioning minds and decided to just sleep. There’s still tomorrow. Just let it be like this for now.

Let it be.

-

“Fany! Fany, wake up! Hey!”

Tiffany groaned and rolled to her side, covering her head with the blanket. She recognized that voice but decided to ignore it. She was still sleepy and had no intentions to wake up. But the person was stubborn. Tiffany felt the bed sank a little bit as that person crawled onto her impatiently, yanking the blanket off of Tiffany.

“Fany!”

“Ah, what the hell?!” Tiffany opened her eyes a little bit and sighed because it was Sunny who was currently, hovering on top of her, “Why are you so noisy?!”

“Why do you think I am?!”

“Just shut up-- wait.”

Her eyes suddenly widened as she sat straight, pushing Sunny away from her.

“Where’s…. where’s--”

“Jessica?” Sunny cut her off, “So you still remember?”

“Why do you think I don’t remember?”

“I don’t know, probably you were drunk and both of you unconsciously did that.”

“Did what?” Tiffany rolled her eyes with a sigh and she lied herself again, “We didn’t do anything, for God’s sake.”

Sunny frowned before she lied beside Tiffany, “Are you disappointed because I’m here instead of Jessica?”

Yes, to be very honest yes. Jessica was nowhere to be seen. There was only Sunny with her, and that kind of made her upset. At least Jessica could say goodbye first. Or even better promise her to meet some other time later. Now Jessica had gone somewhere else, how could Tiffany meet her again?

“You are.” Sunny concluded.

“When did she leave?”

“An hour ago, maybe. It wasn’t my fault, okay. I was just knocking your door and I almost jumped because Jessica opened it, looking messy and all. She said you were still sleeping and told me she had to go and stuff.”

“And you let her?!”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Sunny raised her eyebrows, “Don’t blame it on me. I haven’t seen her for years and suddenly she appeared in your apartment so what do you expect me to do, huh?”

Tiffany could only mutter another sigh.

“So, what happened? Did you guys bump into each other again? And… did that?”

“Did what?” Tiffany rolled over again, her back facing Sunny, “Can’t you see I’m fully-clothed?”

Sunny observed Tiffany first before she nodded, “So, just a sleepover?”

“I guess so.”

“That’s… cute.” Sunny chuckled, “She’s still that kind of lover, isn’t she?”

Tiffany smiled. Sunny still remembers. She once told her best pal of how different yet charming Jessica was. Unlike others, Jessica couldn’t bring herself to stay close with the one she loved because she was afraid she might takes advantage. It was frustrating at first for Tiffany back then. She thought Jessica didn’t want her or something.

But that’s just what Jessica is.

Every time Tiffany asked the reason of why Jessica was always being an old-school type, Jessica answered that’s not how she defines love. It’s confusing, and yet charming at the same time.

“Yeah, she still is.” Tiffany nodded.

“Are you guys getting back together?”

Tiffany bit her lip, clutching onto the blanket tightly, “No…”

“No?”

“I mean, I don’t know… we were… we haven’t talked anything about it, yet. We haven’t reached any agreement.”

“I see.” Sunny nodded, “That was cute, though. Sleepover and stuff. Oh, how I miss my innocent days.”

Tiffany only smiled at that.

“Now come on.” Sunny got off the bed and pulled Tiffany, “Take a bath, I’ll cook for you.”

-

“Ayo!”

Jessica turned her head and saw Sooyoung walked inside her apartment with a grin while swaying her handbag. She was still in the kitchen, cooking some foods she found in the fridge for breakfast. Sooyoung sat on the dining table and dropped her handbag roughly before she mindlessly took Jessica’s bread and ate it.

“My summer, please don’t eat it.” Jessica said flatly, didn’t even look at Sooyoung because she was busy cooking.

“Just one bite!” Sooyoung exclaimed, clearly lying.

“Whatever.” Jessica rolled her eyes and resumed cooking.

“Where were you last night?” Sooyoung asked with full of food, “I called but you didn’t answer.”

Jessica smiled, decided not to hide anything this time, “I stayed with Tiffany.”

Sooyoung spit her bread, “You what?!”

“I stayed with Tiffany, you heard it right.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa…” Sooyoung had wide opened, “this is so sudden-- what did you guys do?!”

“We ate ice cream and then we had sleepover.”

“Just that?”

“Yeah, stop your dirty thoughts now, my summer.”

Sooyoung clapped her hands, “Wow, really… no wonder you look shining this morning.”

Jessica chuckled.

“I assume you guys were just… fixing your ‘relationship’? You guys are in better terms now?”

Jessica nodded. As expected of Sooyoung, she could read the situation right away. No unnecessary assumptions, even though she often overreacts in a funny way. Sooyoung then stood up and sat on the table, eyeing Jessica.

“Mind telling me how could you break up?”

A sigh, “I mind.”

“Aw, come on.” Sooyoung persuaded, “Tiffany had told me her point of view, so it would be fair if I could hear it from yours too.”

Jessica’s eyes widened as she jerked her head to Sooyoung, “Wait, what?! She told you?! What did she say about it?!”

“She said you had a mistress which was your ex before.”

Jessica kept silent and a bitter smile appeared. She turned around again to continue her almost finished cooking.

“But I don’t get it, though? I might not know precisely how many exes you have or even their names but… I don’t think she’s right.”

The older woman didn’t answer. She turned off the stove, putting the foods onto the plates first before she leaned her back on the wall, and sighed. Sooyoung patiently waited. Jessica crossed her arms and mumbled,

“She really believes about that ex thingy, I guess…”

“Tell me, Sica.” Sooyoung demanded again, “Tell me the truth.”

Jessica smiled the bitter one as she lifted her head to face Sooyoung, “It’s all about her, my summer. Do you remember her?” She paused before she muttered with a low, sad tone, “My Taengoo?”

****

Happy birthday, Taengoo.