One,

She counted. With her eyes closed, she sealed herself so she could merely hear a thing despite the loud music blasting around her. The bitter taste of the alcohol mixed with the intoxicating tobacco that soaked through her lungs made her head spun. But she liked it. She was used to it, and it was all okay.

Two,

The sound of her own heartbeat that went faster by the second was louder than any other disturbing voices surrounding her. She could hear it clearly. She could feel it as if it was going to burst out of her chest. On the count of two everything became a blur. She cracked her eyes open and found nothing but emptiness.

Three.

When the counting finished she let her spinning head dropped down onto the bar stall with a quite loud bang. But no one noticed, no one paid attention, basically no one cared. It’s okay, she doesn’t need it anyway. This place only offers her a temporary pleasure, which ends right when she loses consciousness.

Letting out a sigh with the familiar thick white smoke into the air, she smiled. Her eyes were getting heavier by the time and she didn’t even care. Her mind was already blank at the moment to think further. It’s okay, she said to herself. It’s okay.

It’s just such a shame, that she considers this as her bliss.

-

“That isn’t included in the question.”

After a very, very long silence, Tiffany finally gave her that answer. Sooyoung kept silent, letting her tensed shoulder became relaxed for a while. Tiffany was clearly avoiding her eyes, her curiosity burdened the latter, and she kind of felt bad making Tiffany recalling her past memories.

But she did it for Jessica, though. At least she had tried to do something useful.

“I know.” Sooyoung nodded with an assuring smile, “I’m just curious of who she is.”

“She’s probably someone you know, I don’t know.” Tiffany shrugged with a desperate sigh as she ran her hand through her hair.

“The third wheel in the relationship, huh?”

Tiffany dryly chuckled, “Yeah. Jessica’s mistress.”

Sooyoung only nodded, but deep inside she was still unsatisfied with the answer. Tiffany bit her lip, feeling torn between telling or not telling. She lifted her head to face Sooyoung and found the same curious eyes.

“If I told you who she is, what would you do about that?”

“Well…” Sooyoung shrugged, “depends.”

“On what?”

“If I know her, I might talk to her. But if I don’t… well, I’ll probably just let it flow. I mean, you don’t want me to let Jessica knows that I know, right?”

Tiffany laughed, “Right.”

“Or you want me to take your revenge on her, somehow?”

“What?” Tiffany laughed even more, “That’s nonsense and I’m not that type of person.”

“I know, I’m just kidding.” Sooyoung grinned.

Tiffany only smiled at that. Well, she hates that person so much but revenge was never crossed her mind before. She had learned to let go. The way Jessica let her go so easily made her realize that they aren’t meant to be. Jessica’s decision was bold. And Tiffany was sure Jessica is happier than before…

She then frowned. She realized something.

“Wait.”

Sooyoung’s smile faded, “What?”

“You’ve been with Jessica for these past years, right? You said you spent almost your whole life with her.”

“Yeah, why?”

“Then how come you don’t know who her ex is? I mean, her current partner because the one that deserves to be called ex is me.” She chuckled, “Jessica’s still with her, right?”

“I don’t get--”

In a sudden there was a vibrating voice. Tiffany almost jumped off of her seat. It was Sooyoung’s phone. Sooyoung gave Tiffany an apologetic smile before she answered it,

“Yeah, why? Huh? Wait, who is this? Isn’t this--”

She then stopped talking for a moment. Tiffany waited for her. Sooyoung’s expression changed as she sighed. She looked a little bit annoyed. Tiffany pressed her lips to one another. Please don’t say Sooyoung has to go. They haven’t finished talking.

“Ah, I see. Yes, I’ll go there now. Yeah, thank you.”

Sooyoung ended the call with another sigh. Meanwhile Tiffany could only pout. Sooyoung put her phone inside her handbag and she suddenly grinned.

“Hey, come with me.”

“What?”

“If you want to, though.” She shrugged and stood up.

Tiffany followed her, “Where are you going?”

Sooyoung grinned again and pulled Tiffany’s hand to drag her, “Picking up a little brat named Jessica Jung who did a mess tonight. Let’s go!”

Tiffany could only nod before her mind comprehended the name. Jessica Jung.

Wait, what?

-

Jessica was drunk. And half-conscious.

Sooyoung looked like an angry mother. She lifted Jessica onto her back, and that surprised Tiffany, but Sooyoung said she’s used to do it. They drove to Jessica’s apartment and were lucky because her room was in the second floor. Tiffany was still confused, though. Why does Jessica have Sooyoung’s number as her first speed dial?

Instead of hers, maybe?

Little did Tiffany knows, there was no one inside Jessica’s apartment. That confused her even more. Jessica lives alone? Like, alone? But her curious thought suddenly vanished when she heard the sound of shower flowing and a shriek. Tiffany quickly walked to the bathroom, and found Jessica was sitting on the floor with Sooyoung standing beside her, hands on her hips. Apparently, she the shower to wake Jessica.

Tiffany cringed. Well, that’s cruel.

Jessica panted, her body was soaked wet.

“I thought we had agreed not to do this again.” Jessica hissed, voice low with so much annoyance in it.

“If you behave, Sica. That’s the point.” Sooyoung then took something out of Jessica’s handbag, “And what is this? I thought we had agreed for you to stop?”

Jessica looked up and scoffed seeing her now empty pack of cigarette in Sooyoung’s hand, “We haven’t had any agreement about that, though.”

Sooyoung sighed, “We had. And you agreed.”

“Whatever.” Jessica stood up, brushing her wet hair off of her face and took off her shirt, leaving her with a black tee, “Now I’m already home, you better go.”

“You’re welcome.”

Jessica chuckled and turned around to face Sooyoung, “Fine. Thank you, my summer. You’re the best.”

She then walked away to her bedroom, before she bumped into Tiffany. Her tired eyes widened. And Tiffany swore Jessica looked scary. The Jessica she met twice earlier wasn’t like this. She was polite, kind, and obviously, charming. But it was the opposite at the moment.

Jessica was never like this.

“What are you doing here?” Jessica asked.

Before Tiffany could answer, Sooyoung said, “I brought her here with me.”

“Why?” Jessica jerked her head to Sooyoung, “To see me humiliated by you?”

“You know it’s not that.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jessica ignored her, walked past through Tiffany and that kind of hurt the latter somehow, “Lock the door when you leave.”

With that she got inside her bedroom and slammed the door hard, surprising Tiffany even more. Sooyoung sighed as she turned off the cold shower and walked to the speechless Tiffany.

“Hey.” She tapped Tiffany’s shoulder and said slowly, “People change, so did Jessica. I brought you here to see the real her. The her since years ago. Probably five or six, I don’t really remember.”

Tiffany bit her lip. Six years, to be exact. Six years.

“Let’s go. She will be okay. She just needs to rest.”

Sooyoung tapped Tiffany’s shoulder once more and walked to the door, meanwhile Tiffany couldn’t take a step back. She had her eyes on Jessica’s bedroom door, didn’t know what to do or say.

“Tiffany.” Sooyoung called her again.

Snapped back, Tiffany quickly followed Sooyoung, “Oh, yeah. Sure. Let’s go.”

Sooyoung nodded. She opened the door for Tiffany first. She silently noticed it all. The worried eyes Tiffany had. The curiosity, the confusion, the fear, everything Tiffany had at the moment. It somehow led a smile from the taller woman.

And you said you hate her, huh?

-

“I know you’re curious.”

Tiffany jerked her head to Sooyoung who was driving, and the latter only smiled. She didn’t say anything. Well, she was indeed curious. But she had decided not to care since the first place. It’s best for her just to stop thinking about it.

Isn’t it?

“It’s okay, you don’t have to pretend you don’t care.” Sooyoung said again, “If I were you I would be worried to, I think.”

Tiffany shook her head. Sooyoung started sounding like Sunny now. With mind-reading sentences that jab Tiffany because it was so true. Sooyoung noticed Tiffany’s hesitation and rubbed her shoulder gently.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s a little bit shocking indeed picking up Jessica who was drunk in the middle of the night and got kicked out of her place in an instant.”

“Do you do that often?” Tiffany finally asked.

Sooyoung raised her eyebrows, “Do what?”

“Waking Jessica with the cold shower, just like earlier.”

“Oh. Well, it’s the best way to wake that sleepyhead. And it’s annoying to treat her kindly. She’s not a kid anymore, and she’s older than me for God’s sake. She doesn’t behave, so…” Sooyoung shrugged.

Behave? What does that mean? Tiffany wanted to ask further but unfortunately, she still held her pride high. One question was enough. She shouldn’t care much about Jessica, in fact, not at all. Everything happened to Jessica isn’t her business.

Right, Tiffany said to herself. Right.

“Why?” Sooyoung suddenly asked again, “Are you mad of me because of that?”

“What? Why would I be mad?”

Another shrug, “I don’t know. Maybe you think it was inappropriate?”

“N-no.” Tiffany turned her head to the window, away from Sooyoung, “I don’t.”

Minutes passed, and none of them talked again. Tiffany leaned her back, tried to relax herself. The night wasn’t young anymore and she was absolutely tired. When they arrived in Tiffany’s apartment, Tiffany was already half-asleep.

“Thanks for the ride, Sooyoung. And for the talk, everything.” Tiffany said while rubbing her eyes, “Are you sure you don’t want a sleepover? Aren’t you tired?”

Sooyoung smiled, “No, I still have to meet someone after this. And also I don’t want to risk our lives by having a sleepover with you because you know Sunny.”

Tiffany laughed, “Right, how could I forget you’re Sunny’s girlfriend. She might be angry at me when she finds out I spent a night with you. Oh well, that sounds wrong already.”

Both of them chuckled together.

“Alright, I really need to go. Thanks again, Sooyoung.”

Sooyoung nodded as Tiffany got off her car and walked to the front door. She opened the window and waved at the woman,

“Good night, Tiffany.”

“Good night, Sooyoung. Please be careful.”

“I will. Bye!”

Tiffany waved her hand and stood still until Sooyoung’s car was nowhere to be seen. She sighed and walked inside to the elevator. No one was inside because it was already late so she was kind of glad. She stood with her back on the wall and closed her eyes.

One,

The image of Jessica popped out of nowhere.

Two,

The way Jessica smiles could be seen clearly.

Three.

The elevator dinged. Tiffany snapped her eyes open and walked to her room in a hurry. Once she got in, she couldn’t help but scoff at realizing the fact that she indeed cares. No matter how she denies it, she cares.

How stupid of her.

****

Out of topic, but I just watched Kim Yuna's performances in winter olympic earlier. I think I'm in love.