Tiffany sipped her orange juice while flipping the pages of the fashion magazine in her hands. She leaned her back to the chair’s backrest, sometimes peeking at the clock on the café’s wall. She had an appointment with Sooyoung. Out of nowhere Sooyoung called her, and Tiffany was sure the reason was Jessica.

Things were getting back to blurry as the time went by. Ever since her unclear fixing terms meeting with Jessica happened, they hadn’t met again. Tiffany had no idea how to contact her. She wanted to ask Sooyoung, but apparently Sooyoung was faster in calling her. She better brings good news this time.

The café’s doorbell rang and Tiffany quickly lifted her head. She smiled brightly as Sooyoung appeared. Smiling back, Sooyoung sat across Tiffany.

“Hey, been waiting for long?”

Tiffany shook her head and put the magazine down, “Not really.”

Sooyoung then ordered an iced Latte and after the waiter served it, they started the talk.

“So, I guess you’ve heard from Jessica?”

Sooyoung nodded, “That was quite shocking actually. She didn’t even hesitate in telling me. Which I thought was good. She’s getting better now.”

Tiffany smiled. That’s good to know.

“But it’s not what I want to talk about.” Sooyoung continued, her smile faded.

Tiffany’s smile also disappeared, “Then, what?”

Sooyoung hesitated. She bit her lip before she looked down to her handbag on her lap. She then opened it, roamed her hand in it, probably grabbing something. Tiffany’s heart started thumping. What was happening here?

“Look,” Sooyoung lifted her head to Tiffany, “just listen to me. Don’t get tense, because I intend nothing but telling you the truth.”

Tiffany frowned, “What is it, Sooyoung?”

Sooyoung exhaled a heavy breath as she took out something from her handbag. It was a printed photo. She hesitated at first, before she put it down on the table, flipping it upside down so Tiffany could see it, and shoved it to Tiffany.

“You know her, right?”

Tiffany’s eyes widened. She clenched her fists on her lap as her eyes caught those familiar faces on the photo. Sooyoung bit her lip nervously, afraid of Tiffany’s reaction at the photo she showed her.

There was Jessica in the photo, but she wasn’t alone. While her left hand seemed holding the camera, her right arm was wrapped around a brown haired woman’s shoulder. Jessica wasn’t looking at the camera. Instead she posed while kissing the other woman’s cheek with both her eyes closed. Meanwhile the other woman was smiling brightly to the camera Jessica was holding, probably she was giggling.

Tiffany had seen this photo before. And her struggle to erase the memory vanished instantly. Her boiling anger and jealousy suddenly mixed, but she got a grip on herself. Her eyes then landed to the dates written on the photo. She held a smirk. It was taken when Jessica was still in a relationship with her years ago.

“Tiffany?”

“I do.” Tiffany answered, gritting her teeth, “She’s Kim Taeyeon.”

Sooyoung then asked slowly, “Is this the ex you meant? The so-called mistress?”

Tiffany nodded.

The younger woman smiled a bitter smile as she took back the photo. Tiffany frowned but she didn’t say anything. Sooyoung her dry lips as she stared at the ceiling, didn’t exactly know how to start it.

“If only I knew it was Taeyeon you meant I would’ve explained it to you earlier.” She said with a sad tone, so unlike her.

Tiffany scoffed, “Explain what?”

“Listen to me, Tiffany.” Sooyoung begged, her eyes softened, “Please.”

Tiffany smirked, leaned her back again and crossed her arms, “Okay. Go on.”

“So, here’s the truth.” Sooyoung started, “You know Jessica was raised in an orphanage, right? And her parents and little sister died in a car accident?”

Tiffany nodded.

“My family is the owner of the orphanage. That’s why I know her well, that’s why I can say I spend almost my whole life with her. Yoona too, was from the same orphanage. Just so you know.”

Tiffany blinked a few times. Well, that’s a new fact.

“Our orphanage isn’t located in Seoul, but in Jeonju. Jessica was only eight when she moved in with us. She was a mess, a total mess. Nobody dared to approach her. She was as cold as ice. Even I was scared. But I understood, because she had lost her family all at once in such young age. I didn’t judge her. I just let her and sometimes tried to befriend her.

Jessica often cried alone. Sometimes in her room, but mostly at the backyard. My mother always comforted her but she of course had to handle another kids there too. Then, just when we thought we could never reach Jessica, Taeyeon came.”

Tiffany couldn’t help but tense at the mention of the name.

“Taeyeon, or Taeyeon Unnie, that’s how I used to call her, was a neighbour. She was an only child of an extremely wealthy family. She had everything. Literally, everything. Money, fame, beauty, talent, brain, so much different from the kids in the orphanage. She was four years older than me, so three years older than Jessica. The definition of perfect was Kim Taeyeon. The kids looked up so much to her.

Taeyeon was a kind Unnie. She often visited the orphanage to play with us. She brought us her toys, told us stories, sang for us, and all. She wasn’t aware of Jessica’s existence at first because Jessica was always hiding, keeping herself inside. Until one day, she bumped into the crying Jessica at the backyard.

Shortly, that’s how their friendship started. Taeyeon was patient. So very patient in facing Jessica. That wasn’t easy. Taeyeon needed months to convince Jessica. But like I said, she was patient enough. Soon they became good friends. Taeyeon always took care of Jessica, probably a little more than the other kids. And when Jessica finally melted in Taeyeon’s arms, I became close with her. She started befriending others, including Yoona who’s currently still her number one dongsaeng.”

Sooyoung paused, took a sip of her iced Latte. Meanwhile Tiffany kept silent, didn’t know what to say at the unpredictable story Sooyoung gave her.

“Another shortly, suddenly Taeyeon had to go. Her family decided to move to Seoul from Jeonju. I was thirteen and Jessica was fourteen when that happened. There was no specific reason why, but she only told us she wanted to study there. We were sad, of course. Jessica was the saddest one. Taeyeon promised us she would keep in touch, or even visit in holidays. We all gathered the day she moved. Jessica was having a hard time in pretending she wasn’t crying, which was failed miserably.

So she moved away. We waited, and waited, but she didn’t keep her promise. She didn’t contact us after that, not even once. And Jessica was angry. She was disappointed, sad, upset, because she felt she had lost Taeyeon. She wanted nothing but to meet Taeyeon once more and ask why she didn’t keep her promise.”

Tiffany didn’t realize her crossed arms had loosened. Sooyoung looked at somewhere else and sighed.

“Jessica was that eager in wanting to meet Taeyeon. She got a scholarship to Seoul a year later, to continue her study in one of the high schools there. And let me guess, that was when you started to know her, right?”

Tiffany nodded. The cold, so-called ice princess Jessica Jung whom everyone avoided yet adored. Tiffany didn’t care about Jessica at first, before the third year started and the story of them began.

“I moved to Seoul when I got into college. Jessica told me she hadn’t met Taeyeon, hadn’t found what she had been looking for. So I told her to just let it go. Probably Taeyeon wanted a new life, away from the old one. Jessica, feeling tired of years trying to look for Taeyeon, finally understood and gave up. Saying she would just let Taeyeon to do anything she wanted, as long as she was happy. I assume that’s when she started a relationship with you, after she had moved on from Taeyeon.”

Maybe, Tiffany thought.

“In another sudden, Jessica told me, she met Taeyeon again. And I assume that’s when you thought Taeyeon was an ex, Jessica’s mistress who pulled her away from you and ruined your relationship, right?”

Another maybe, Tiffany thought as she nodded her head hesitantly.

“Taeyeon wasn’t an ex, Tiffany. Or even a mistress.” Sooyoung said with a smile, “They never loved each other like that. They saw each other as best friends, sisters, no more.”

Tiffany frowned, obviously disagreed, “Then why--”

“Listen to me first.” Sooyoung cut her off.

The frown on Tiffany’s face faded as she gave up.

“Jessica told me there were rumours spreading at that time, when the two of you started become distant because she spent more times with Taeyeon instead of you. The rumours were pointing at her, accusing her of having an affair with an ex, neglecting you, and stuff. Is that true?”

Tiffany nodded. Yes, it was true. Those rumours she heard ears to ears about Jessica’s ex and she ended believing it after she saw the photo.

“And in the end you ended the relationship. Is that also true?”

Tiffany sighed, “What are you trying to say? I understand how kind and mighty Kim Taeyeon was, okay. That’s why Jessica let me go so easily. She changed, Sooyoung. She ignored me for months because of Kim Taeyeon!”

Sooyoung inhaled, Tiffany was testing her patience, “Alright, now answer me. Tiffany, do you know why Jessica’s not with her anymore now?”

“Well, I don’t know, probably they broke up again or something.”

“No, it’s not that.” Sooyoung shook her head, her eyes looking tired as she inhaled a breath again and said, “Taeyeon died five years ago.”

Tiffany went frozen. Sooyoung nodded her head seeing Tiffany’s surprised face, telling her that it wasn’t a joke.

“W-what?” Tiffany frowned.

Sooyoung bent over the table, crossing her arms on it, “She had a heart disease since she was born. None of us was aware of that. The reason why she moved to Seoul was because she needed more treatment. It was getting worse as she got older. There was no cure except a heart transplant, but of course it wasn’t easy. Taeyeon was practically dying when she decided to move to Seoul.

Jessica said she wanted to take care of Taeyeon, so much. Taeyeon had taken care of her when they were young so it was her turn. That’s why she spent much times with Taeyeon, probably ignored you for months, it was because of that. Jessica also told me she was a coward. She thought you weren’t aware of that. So she acted like nothing’s happened. Which probably annoyed you to death.

When she wanted to tell you the truth, the rumours was basically everywhere, and you believed it. You ended your relationship, and Jessica let you go because she thought she didn’t deserve you. She would only hurt you because all in her mind was Taeyeon. She thought she would be okay, but turned out she couldn’t.

When you left, Jessica was broken. She said she was late in realizing how empty she was when you weren’t around. But you were gone already and she didn’t have any rights to take you back. And there was the dying Taeyeon whom needed Jessica’s attention more. Those two ruined her the most.

A year later, five years ago, Taeyeon finally had a heart transplant. There was a new hope. But unfortunately, her body refused the new heart. Taeyeon… passed away a week after that. She didn’t even wake up, she just lied there unconscious for seven days straight, and in the end she couldn’t open her eyes anymore.”

Tiffany could sense it. The sadness in Sooyoung’s tone, eyes, gestures. She brought her gaze down to her feet, suddenly felt guilt replacing her boiling anger earlier. Sooyoung let out another sigh.

“After Taeyeon left, Jessica became the Jessica you know now. She had lost you, Taeyeon, basically her everything. Her daily life was fine, but her condition was never okay. The worst was during the first year, though. You wouldn’t want to know her that time. She bumped into some new people, who offered her some entertainments she had never experienced before. , drinks, cigarettes… she was this close to drugs if I didn’t snap. She was… completely not the Jessica I’ve known for years.

Things got slightly better when there was a new baby in our orphanage. A year after Taeyeon left, a new born baby was given by the police to us, because the parents refused her. You know, one night stand product and stuff. The name was Han Jisoon, by the way.”

That name. Tiffany remembers it clearly.

“Jisoon is Jessica’s number two favourite dongsaeng, after Yoona. She cares for her because she watched the process of her growth since she was a baby until now. Jisoon could change Jessica into better, even though just slightly, not much. But I’m still grateful for it. When a married couple adopted Jisoon and brought her to Seoul, Jessica was more than happy. She often hangs out with Jisoon, picks her after school, and stuff.”

Sooyoung smiled, her fingers went to her iced Latte, played with the straw. Tiffany couldn’t say a word. Her eyes were still eyeing her feet, her fingers intertwining with one another. She didn’t know what she was feeling, she really didn’t. Was it guilt? Or just mere pity? Whatever it was, Tiffany didn’t like it. It bothered her. The fact that it happened years ago also burdened her. A lot of things had happened, and Tiffany had no slightest idea of those. She felt totally clueless and stupid.

“I really hope you’d stop seeing Jessica as a two-timer and Taeyeon as a mistress. They weren’t like that. I know Jessica was actually the one at fault in this but… you don’t know how she barely managed to go through these past years without you and Taeyeon. I think that punishment is enough for her coward self toward you.”

Tiffany pressed her lips to one another when her eyes met Sooyoung’s pleading ones. She understood. Everything was clear now. All the blurry visions of the past events became clearer. The truth had been revealed, and it hurt her at knowing how big the impact of her leaving Jessica.

When she thought Jessica never loved her.

“I understand.” Tiffany finally said with a smile, “I understand everything. I really do, and I’m sorry.”

As Sooyoung showed her an assuring smile, Tiffany knew this might be a new start she’d never imagined before.

Such a waste of time she spent six years doing nothing to fix this messed up relationship.

****