Age 14

Jongin is fourteen.  Young In is fourteen.  

Seventh grade started three months ago.  

Jongin lives in the same house as Young In because his father left for London almost a year ago and his mother died five years ago.  He sleeps in the guest room.  He hangs up the photos of his mother.

Jongin grows four inches in a year and his voice sounds funny when he says hello in the morning.  He eats twice as much as Young In does but Mother doesn't mind because she says that he's growing.

Growing.  

Young In thinks that Jongin is growing away.  

He sits in room when he gets home from school and she has to knock before coming in.  He doesn't sit with her at lunch or during class.  Young In sits with girls who talk about boyfriends and weekend plans until her head spins.  Jongin spends weekends with his friends who go down to the park to participate in recreational dance competitions.  Young In goes grocery shopping with Mother.

Jongin gets less than perfect grades while Young In struggles to stay awake during class.  Jongin does school projects with his table partner and sometimes Young In works alone.  She asks him for help on homework but he's always busy.  

"I"ll help you later, okay?" he says.  But he leaves Young In wondering when "later" is.

Young In doesn't want to be angry at him, but she can't help it sometimes.  She's growing too, she's knows it.  Things are happening to her that didn't happen to her when she was three or thirteen.  She listens to music and thinks about lazy summers and going some place far, far away.  She dreams about traveling the world with Jongin and maybe one day they can go to London and meet up with his father and tell him all about Jongin wanting to audition for an entertainment company.  

They're both growing but she feels like they're going in different directions.  Jongin does things on his own.  Young In does things on her own but wonders when she can start doing things with Jongin again.

Christmas comes and Young In remember a time when there was a little girl who jumped onto the back of a little boy and he carried her across the street.  Young In wonders if that is a memory or just a dream.  She wonders if the person she calls Jongin sitting in the room right beside hers is a memory or a dream.  

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For every hundred things Young In worries about, there is one thing she is happy about.  For every hundred reasons she has to be angry at Jongin, there is one excuse for her not to be.  One is all she needs--one thought that tells her Jongin isn't avoiding her because he doesn't like her, or doesn't want to like her.  One thought that tells her Jongin is still Jongin.  Same eyes, same nose, same lips, same laugh, same annoyed expression when she asks him one too many questions.

Jongin is fourteen.  Young In is fourteen.

The one thing that makes her believe he still remembers her is his promises.  

Every night, before she goes to bed, Young In comes to say goodnight.  Every night, before he goes to bed, Jongin is sitting at his desk, reading.  Every night, he is reading the same book.

The Giver.  The book that he promised Young In he would read.

So, every night, Young In thinks about Jongin sitting, and reading, and she can go to bed with a small smile.